A/N: WE SUCK... I hate myself, and I'm pretty sure you guys hate me too... School has been kicking both of our ass.. thus FF not being so important.. which is a bad excuse, we know.. but that's what happened.. but we will try to update more often.. this year hopefully.. We hope that you still want to read this.. WE REALLY DO.. well.. there's not much left to say than.. thanks for the reviews you gave us last chapter and so on. (; WE love all of our readers, and we hope you will enjoy this chapter.
Playlist:
Blue October - 18th Floor Balcony
Alexander Deplat - Marry me, Bella.
REVIEW.. WE LOOOOOOVE THEM!
- Charlotte and Louise.
DISCLAIMER: S. Meyer owns everything, except Charlotte and The Shakespeare quotes.
2. Deals with The Devil
The lunatic, the lover, and the poet Are of imagination all compact. One sees more devils than vast hell can hold; That is the madman. The lover, all as frantic, Sees Helen's beauty in a brow of Egypt. The poet's eye, in a fine frenzy rolling, Doth glance from heaven to earth, from earth to heaven; And as imagination bodies forth The forms of things unknown, the poet's pen Turns them to shapes, and gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name.
- W. Shakespeare, A Midsummer's Night Dream.
EPOV
The London house was nothing like the one we had in Chicago. First of all, this one was enormous and second of all, it didn't have as many big windows as the one in Chicago. But it was beautiful; as usual. There was a library with an extended collection of rare and exceptional books; First editions and so on, a secret sanctuary for people as Bella and Jasper. Then there was the pool, Carlisle's office and of course… all the bedrooms. And as for bedrooms, I was currently laying in our bed, looking at Bella reading, yet once again, Romeo and Juliet. She was reading it slowly, taking her time to take in the words, she by know would have memorised.
My hand was absently caressing her arm; still she did not pay attention to me. I leaned closer and kissed her elbow; no reaction. Kissed her shoulder; no reaction. Kissed her neck once, twice, three times; yet no reaction. I sighed and leaned against the soft pillows in our bed. It was one of those days, I should have known. The incident in the plane should have been warning enough. There would be no reaction today; she would be closed off, as she usually was, when I didn't think. It was always my fault, but my feelings for Charlotte had not disappeared, so what was I supposed to do? I would always love Bella the most. Bella was the meaning to everything. But sometimes I would look at Charlotte, and I would feel something, not a spark or an electric current as I usually felt when Bella entered the room. It was this slow, warm, almost liquid feeling that made me feel... something. Bella always noticed when this happened. Always, this was the reason behind the no reaction, which was why she was acting like this.
I heard the book close softly as Bella turned her head to look at me. She smiled that brilliant smile, which was pure Bella. I lifted my hand to her cheek and caressed the skin gently. Her big brown eyes only widened for a second as they normally did.
"I'm so..." her finger touched my lips before I got any further into my apology. She shook her head a few times at me.
"Don't... okay? Just don't... I get it. There's nothing to apologise for, so let's just forget it, okay?" She whispered as she removed her finger from my lips, but not before I got to plant a small kiss on it. I her quick intake of unneeded air was the only reaction I got.
"I... Okay." I hated that she never wanted my apologies. Never, she disapproved of it, said it was all water under the bridge. I didn't agree, but I didn't have it in me to argue with her, not anymore.
She smiled at me and leaned back into the pillows. Her hand found mine and she twined her fingers through mine. I looked stunned at our entwined hands; this was not a part of the whole no-reaction thing.
"Why do you insist on reading that book continually, love? You already know it by heart," I asked, trying to get over the shock of our joined hands. I shook my head; I was shocked over holding hands with my wife. What was wrong with me?
"Habits, Edward... plus, you can never get enough of Shakespeare." She said and laughed a sound that made me think of small, tinkling bells. I smiled at her and nodded my head.
"I love you," I whispered and leaned over to kiss her on the lips, no reaction or not, I needed to kiss my wife, damn it.
"Me too," she whispered as I released her lips. She laid her head on my stomach and I started playing with her beautiful hair. It was quiet, peaceful and completely undisturbed.
Everybody was relaxing, doing extracurricular activities that I could easily live without hearing. I knew Charlotte and Carlisle were talking together, probably about her starting in High School. Though I knew she was against it, and to be quite honest, so was I. I knew that Charlotte had a superb control over herself, but this was humans, every day, even I still felt the pull when I went to school, and Charlotte had only managed to stay away from our preferred choice of nectar for two years. Being at a High School would be the same as a buffet. And I was afraid that she wouldn't manage to do it abstain herself from the amazing offer.
What is it you fear? Stop thinking about Char and think about your wife, Ed! Jasper's thoughts brought me out of my slightly panicked state.
"Where did you go?" She whispered as she leisurely lifted her head to look at me. My hand fell from her hair to her cheek.
"it was nothing," Her smile fell two millimetres and it left her eyes, she nodded slowly and leaned back down, this time laying her head on the pillow.
"Bella, I'm sorry, it just that..." but I was interrupted, by a loud crash and screeching voice that could only belong to one person.
"CARLISLE, FORGET IT!!" Charlotte all but screamed, and I knew that he had told her about the whole going to school thing. I could hear Bella sigh beside me, while she turned her back on me. I wanted to go and talk to them, but I knew that wasn't what Bella needed right now. So sneaked my arms around her waist and pulled her close to me. She sighed and leaned her head back to look at me.
"hmm... I've missed this," she whispered and smiled softly. I nodded and kissed her forehead.
"You know..." I was once again interrupted.
"NO WAY!! I MEAN IT!!!" She was screaming. Maybe I should go talk to her. No, she could handle herself, she was a big girl. She hated it when I started meddling with her business. I sighed.
"Edward? Go... talk to her... It's okay." She whispered and smiled at me, a real smile this time. I shook my head at her.
"No, I don't have to go... I'll just stay right here," I said and kissed her shoulder, then her neck... proceeded on to her jaw and finished off with a small peck on her beautiful lips. I heard that lovely sigh I had been waiting for the whole day. The one that told me, she enjoyed this; the one that told me that the no-reaction phase was over... for now. Until I did something stupid, which I knew would be soon, too soon.
She turned around to look at me, and for one short moment I was completely flabbergasted. She might think that I was the one who was dazzling her, but in reality? She was far more dazzling than I would ever be. I blinked and then I blinked again, willing myself to do more than look at my wife like an idiot. Nothing happened. She smirked at me; she had me figured out.
But I, myself, couldn't stop the smile forming on my lips as I felt her hands inching towards my hair. As she finally gripped two handfuls of my hair, and pushed my face towards her, my lips touching hers like they were meant to. I at last felt like I was home.
"HIGH SCHOOL? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!" I heard Bella groan as Char once again screamed at Carlisle. I could hear from the thoughts of the others that she was starting to get on their nerves; which I understood completely.
"Just go down there... please, for me, because... She's..." She cut herself of and sent a gust of air into my face, making me lose my trail of thought for a moment. Everything about this woman was entrancing and magical, what I had done to deserve this woman, I don't know. But I would spend the rest of eternity figuring that one out.
"NO, YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE ANYTHING!" Bella raised eyebrows at me and her hands left my hair and I already craved for their touch; before they had even touched the bed. She looked at me expectantly, obviously waiting for me to leave the bed. But I wouldn't have it. This was too good.
"For God's sake Edward! She's killing the mood... She's... just go... and do whatever it is you usually do when you make her go silent," she finished her little rant off with a push that made me hit the door gently.
"'You're sure?" I asked one more time, I knew how she felt about Char. She smiled confidently at me and nodded her head. I sighed and opened the door, turned my head to smile at her and then walked out.
You need my help? Jasper asked, she's furious, go calm her down. Go do your thing, I can already feel that you don't need my help yet. Yet being the keyword my dear brother. I could hear the small chuckle that escaped Jasper from upstairs. I smiled and braced myself for the yelling, I was sure I would receive as soon as I opened that office door.
I was, as usual, right. It started out in my head. YOU IDIOT! Go back to Bella, I don't need you here. I can fight my own battles, and I do not need you down here, trying to make me see sense in this ludicrous!
"Edward, go away! We're just discussing," I scoffed at this, but she chose to not take any notice of it, and carried on, "I mean it Edward. I'm a big girl, I can handle myself, now turn around and walk. Out. That. DOOR!" her voice got louder and louder, until a certain point that made me think of metal against metal, nails being dragged down a blackboard and forks hitting plates the wrong way, creating a screeching noise; which made everybody flinch. There was a reason as to why I hated arguing with her. My ears always felt terrible afterwards.
"Char... calm down and think about this rationally. It's just school, we all have to go through it... and trust me, staying at home all the time will get boring. School is just an alternative, that you should consider trying," with that I sat down in one of the chairs, crossing my arms over my chest, looking at her expectantly.
"That was your big, great speech Eddie? You really think something like that would make me change my mind?" She let out a cruel laugh and shook her head at me, "'School is just an alternative, that you should consider trying'" she said, imitating my voice and laughing that tormenting laugh once again. I was still cringing after her use of that inane nickname, everybody thought worked flawlessly with my name. It didn't.
"Seriously Edward, I'm, to be quite frank with you, tremendously disappointed in you. I really thought you would at least come in here with some good points... but that was just a heartless approach, that made me think that you may not think this is even a good idea... but that could just be me..." she said trailing off, looking at me with a smirk and then turning to look at Carlisle..
"See even he thinks it's a bad idea... let's just drop this, shall we?" Carlisle groaned at her words, and frowned at me, as I was clearly not helping.
I heard a soft groan from upstairs, and the soft footsteps, that sounded distinctly of Jasper walking down the stairs.
Aw, don't feel defeated, I knew you wouldn't be able to do this by yourself. Jasper thought, mentally laughing. Charlotte heard his footsteps too, and narrowed her eyes at me.
"Calling for a back up? And here I thought you were the smart one, shouldn't you be able to do this by yourself?" I just stopped listening to her; she wanted to get a rise out of me.
"Charlotte... listen to me, you need to start school, you don't have to take our name and you don't have to act as if you like us, I just need to have you in school, it will help with the pretence. Plus it will help you refraining from killing a human," Charlotte opened her mouth to say something to Carlisle, but Jasper cut her off,
"I know Emmett killed a human... and it happens, it's only Carlisle, Rose and Bella that are freaks... and really, you only have to do this for 8 more years, and then you can start killing again... so just go to school... And abstain from killing anyone for a couple of years?" she was quiet for a couple of seconds, making Jasper and Carlisle look hopeful for a moment.
"Bull shit! I don't want to be a hostage in a big building filled hormonal, sweaty, gooey and just plain disgusting teenagers... just to test myself... even I can see that is wrong... and I could test myself, while doing something pleasant; like shopping. NO SCHOOL!" She bellowed at them and found a chair in the other end of the room.
I leaned my head back, leaning it against the wall closing my eyes. I could hear all the feet hitting the floor, running down the stairs, hurrying in their half human, half vampire pace that made Charlotte annoyed at them. She huffed as they entered the door. She turned to look at them and shook her head.
"Why are you all here? This was a discussion between Carlisle and I, it's enough that Eddie interrupted us... we don't need the rest out you interfering with MY business, GET OUT!" her screaming was getting a little old and the Eddie thing... we would talk about that later.
"Charlotte there is nothing to discuss... this is final. You do not get a say in this, understood?" Carlisle said in his "Dad" voice that he usually used on us, when he was all business. And it was the wrong approach. You never show authority when you're talking to Char, NEVER. He should be the first one to agree with me.
"Carlisle, do you remember that time when Aro and Marcus were discussion that thing about Jane? You know when Jane did that thing... and we kind of ruined it?" I opened my eyes to look at her. That was not the response I had expected.
"Yes, why?" Carlisle sounded almost amused, while Char had sounded very vague. Then he chuckled gently to himself. "Oh Charlotte, threatening me with old stories is not going to get you out of this. Stop being so childish!" he ended with a harsh tone in his voice.
"Childish? CHILDISH?! Do you really want to go there? I am older than you, so you do not get to call me childish, at all. I don't want to go to school and THAT is final! Don't act like my dad, because you are not and DO NOT call me childish. Okay... I am over 8000 thousand years old... and you haven't even reached your first millennia yet... so you are the one who's being childish..." she finished of her rant, which made me open my eyes and look at her. Her whole body was tense; her knees bend into a superficial crutch that was meant to scare of any form of attack, something she always did if she felt any kind of danger. It happened all the time in Italy.
"Now who's being childish?" I asked her gently, I would not be the one to raise my voice tonight. Her head snapped towards me and she narrowed her eyes; trying to make me crumble under her stare. It was not going to happen.
"Shut up Eddie," She said in her evil voice that would have made humans shake. Still I didn't move. It would bring her too much pleasure. And I was not in the mood for that.
I shook my head at her and closed my eyes, leaning my head back, sighing softly. There was a quiet moment for one little second and the room exploded. Everybody talked at the same time and Char's voice was getting higher and higher. I heard the footsteps hitting the stairs softly as Bella started walking down the stairs. She was taking her time, and I couldn't help but wonder why she was even coming downstairs. She rarely joined us for all the Charlotte-discussions. Or well... she never joined us. She was taking her time and I knew Charlotte noticed it as her shoulders started tensing up.
Suddenly my Bella came into view as she leaned against the door frame. Her face was blank and she looked like she had all the time in the world. Which she in theory did, but still, Bella hated confrontation.
"Are you done?" said the soft, blank whisper from the door. Everybody turned to look at Bella, except Alice, who turned and blinked at me. Have I ever told you how much I love your wife? I smiled at her and nodded.
"Excuse me?" Charlotte said, sounding kind of confused.
"I said are you done acting like a three year old, because to tell you the truth it's kind of draining? So you have to go to school, big deal. We all go to school and we don't complain half as much as you do. Really Charlotte... I don't care if you go to school or not but..." She closed her eyes and bit her lip, looking thoughtful, "But if it will make you shut up then... Go to school and I will cut a year off from our bet," she almost whispered in a broken voice that left me confused, and at the same time I felt the dread running through my body. Then I would only have 7 years left with her...
I looked at Charlotte and saw her eyes widening in surprise, a small smile was slowly forming on her lips. Everything in that moment stopped for me. That warm, liquid and utterly comforting feeling washed over me. I could feel the goofy smile on my mouth and I knew I looked like an idiot. I was basking in the feeling of Charlotte. And I would have kept on doing it if it wasn't for a little whimper.
My head snapped towards Bella as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. I had fucked up. And before I could even start sending her apologetic looks, Charlotte's incredulous voice broke through that haze of my thought and demanded my attention.
"So wait... you're just taking a year off the ten years... just like that... wait. Why?" Charlotte ran a hand through her hair as she continued to look at Bella, who was staring right back at her with a blank stare.
"Because I don't want to hear anymore of this, and if removing one of the ten years will do that, then I will gladly remove it. It will get you to shut up... and I need that," Bella almost forced the words out of her mouth, while she looked like she was in a tremendous amount of pain.
Edward. You are an idiot! Jasper's thought hit my suddenly and I turned my head to look at him. He only frowned at me and turned to look pointedly at Bella. I knew what he meant. I nodded and sighed.
"There's a catch isn't there? There is something you're not telling me... I can see that you are lying," Bella rolled her eyes at Charlotte and raised her pinkie.
"Listen... we can even do the pinkie swear if that will make you believe. Because I swear that I am not lying and that the years that you have to abstain human blood has been reduced from 10 to 9... Okay... There's no catch. All you have to do is go to school and stop complaining. You think you can do that?" Bella said and sighed one of her very deep sighs.
Charlotte didn't say anything; she just walked over to Bella, lifted her pinkie to Bella and wrapped it around hers. And for one single moment, the two women that meant everything to me looked each other in the eye and something happened. It was as if some form of message passed between the two of them. It left Bella looking heartbroken and Charlotte looking furious. Bella nodded and so did Charlotte as she untangled her finger from Bella's and turned to walk back to her chair. Bella walked out the door, leaving me feeling useless... less than 20 minutes ago I had promised myself that I wouldn't hurt her... and I just did.
YOU ARE USELESS... GO UP THERE AND GROWL AT HER FEET... you stupid, stupid IDIOT!!! Charlotte's thoughts hit me with the same amount of screeching as her voice had held just a few minutes ago. It gave me the sudden urge to put my hands over my ears and tune out the sound. I didn't, my hands only twitched. I could hear her sigh impatiently at me, and start tapping her foot against the hardwood floor.
I didn't look at her. I didn't need to see her disappointment too. Mine was great enough; I didn't need to feel hers too. She apparently didn't have any form of patience today.
"Are you going to sit here all day, Edward?" she asked me in a gently voice, that made my head snap towards her eyes. She was being nice. Why? I was so shocked that I didn't move. I was stunned to say the least. She then motioned to door and smiled at me. I got up from my chair and walked past her with a smile upon my face.
Idiot! She thought which made my smile falter a little. She wasn't even lying. I knew I was an idiot, I kept doing this to Bella and I didn't know how to change it. And that was what made me frustrated, you're not supposed to hurt the one you love. You're not supposed to do it time and time again. But I did... and I didn't have any idea as to how to go back to before. When everything was easy, simple and just... the way it was supposed to be. I never thought it would change. But it did, and I couldn't go back, couldn't change it. Bella didn't deserve this and as I walked up the stairs, I felt a sudden urge to just leave her alone.
I didn't listen to my instincts and went up the stairs; slowly, alerting her that I would be there soon. I opened the door to the bedroom, walked in and closed it lightly behind me.
I looked at her.
She didn't look back. Not that I had expected it.
She had picked up her book again and was currently reading it. She did not raise her head at me. Not when I moved towards the bed, especially not when I laid down on the bed. When I tried to touch her arm soothingly, she moved it away and rested her hand against her cheek. She turned a page, then another one. I started counted the pages, to see how many she would reach until she looked at me.
30 pages... no response, not even one single look.
45 pages... still no response.
53 pages... she looked at me. I looked back at her. Not knowing what to say, not knowing how to apologise without her interrupting me. I was lost. So I said the first thing that when through my head.
"See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek," I whispered as she turned her head back to her book. She shook her head and turned yet another page.
"A gentleman, nurse, that loves to hear himself talk, and will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month," she said in a low, monotone voice that made her sound as if she were a ghost. Her eyes never left the page.
"I love thee, I love but thee. With a love that shall not die. Till the sun grows cold, and the stars grow old." Her head didn't turn. Her eyes never left her book and I closed my eyes, knowing that I would have to do more than quote Shakespeare, to make her forgive me. My hand touched her arm; she didn't pull it back, but her whole body tensed, so I pulled my hand back. Giving her the time out she needed.
Char was out hunting, while the family was still downstairs. Their thoughts were happy, content; glad that this discussion was finally over. I could hear them moving around, somebody leaning against the couch. All in all, nothing new… they were deliberately not thinking about Bella and I, which I was grateful for.
"Hey… if the devil rules the world... who rules the devil?" Emmett asked thoughtfully...
Good question... I wish I knew the question.