You know the drill, but for all those newbies, let me summarize: Me own nothing. J.K. Rowling own everything. You no sue.
Chapter 2: Draco's Advanced Vocabulary
After forcing down the scrambled eggs that were—for some odd reason—green, Draco decided that the best thing to do was hide while Potter and his friends were in the house. It wasn't the courageous thing to do, but apparently goody-goodies didn't have a great abundance of courage.
But he had only gotten to the first floor and was heading for the next staircase when something stopped him—namely—a series of loud popping noises and three bodies appearing out of thin air right in front of him. Draco stumbled but, having been blessed with more balance then Tonks, he managed to catch himself before he fell to the ground.
"Malfoy," was all that Potter said as he glared at his arch nemesis—as utterly cliché as it was.
"Oh, is it the afternoon already?" Draco asked, checking his watch as the three Gryffindors did what they did best—stare. "What a shame, I was just about to leave."
"Dumbledore said that you'd be here," Weasley said, seeming to only talk because he wanted to be recognized. Either that or he truly believed that Draco cared.
"Dumbledore—always the barer of good news, eh?" Draco said, smirking. Harry, Ron, and Hermione just stood there, glaring at him.
"As fun as this little get-together is," Draco said sarcastically. "I'm gonna leave."
He stepped around them, ignoring as the three pairs of eyes followed him. He had just made it to the fireplace, a few paces away, when a red- headed girl appeared in it, surrounded by green flames and scaring the bejesus out of Draco.
"Merlin!" He exclaimed, hating how the last people he wanted to see kept popping up everywhere. "What, are you people ubiquitous or something?"
There was a small silence.
"Whoa," Ron said, seriously befuddled. "Big word."
"He's probably just overcompensating for something," Hermione muttered.
'Wow,' Draco thought. 'Did Granger just make a penis joke—albeit, a bad penis joke—but a penis joke none the less. That's a huge surprise, seeing as the only words that usually come out of her little Mudblood mouth are useless facts or, "Ron, stop looking up my skirt!" ...okay, so I've never actually heard her say it, but I bet she's screaming it all the time in the Gryffindor common room.'
After a Mudblood comment he'd used at least ten times already, Draco pushed past the lot of them and headed upstairs—much faster then normal, of course, because both Weasley and Potter looked ready to kill.
Draco thought of trying to floo off to Diagon Alley as an escape from this hell hole, but then he remembered how Dumbledore had told him to stay in the house for a few days, and Draco knew Tonks would castrate him if he tried it anyway.
So, he decided to hang out in his room until the house was Potter- free. Aware that this might take a few hours (the boy really didn't know when he wasn't wanted), Draco decided to look around Tonks' room for a book to read. He wasn't exactly sure what most of them were about (they were muggle books), so Draco concluded that picking the one with the best title was a wise choice.
"Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep and can't tell where to find them," Draco read out loud from a book entitled Mother Goose's Nursery Rhymes. Raising his eyebrows, Draco stared at the book critically before muttering, "I'll never understand muggle literature," and turning the page.
"I Love Little Pussy," Draco read slowly before a sly smirk crept its way onto his face. "Ooo, this one's dirty!"
Half way through the rhyme, once Draco found out that said pussy was actually a cat—causing him to loose interest quickly—his thoughts were interrupted by a loud argument downstairs.
"And the golden couple are at it again," Draco muttered to himself, referring to Ron and Hermione.
He couldn't make out the words—all he heard was a high-pitched yelling ("That must be Weasley,") and screaming that could only be produced by a banshee. Then some stomping on the stairs and a door slammed nearby.
Shaking his head and trying to forget about all of the teen angst those two produced, Draco continued with his reading.
"I am a pretty little Dutch girl," he began, reading the next rhyme with enthusiasm in an attempt to show no one in particular just how ridiculous he thought these muggle poems were. "As pretty as I can be. And all the boys in the neighborhood, are crazy over me."
"I never knew you were Dutch, Malfoy," came a voice from the doorway. Draco's heart stopped suddenly, and he slowly looked up to find Potter standing there with Weasley, both looking unnaturally smug.
'Ah, shit," Draco thought to himself, feeling his face go red with embarrassment. How the hell was he supposed to intimidate his way out of this?
So, in panic mode now, Draco threw every insult he could muster at them, although they slightly lost their effect when his voice cracked in the middle of calling Weasley's mom a fat whore.
Disgraced by his lack of intimidation, Draco bolted from the room, managing to trip over Potter's foot in the process.
Wanting desperately to get away from the scene of his humiliation, Draco quickly slipped into the nearest room and shut the door.
"Those stupid, cocky, sons of—" Draco stopped mid-insult when he turned around to find a bushy haired creature sitting on the floor with her head in her hands.
'Okay,' Draco thought, groping behind himself for the doorknob. 'Just walk out slowly. She probably didn't even hear me over her own constant sobbing.'
But just then Ron and Harry walked by the door, laughing loudly about the pretty little Dutch girl they'd just run into.
'Bastards,' Draco thought angrily as Hermione lifted her head and spotted him.
"What do you want, Malfoy?" she asked, wiping her face furiously.
'I guess now is as good a time as any to make some new friends,' Draco thought bitterly, taking a step toward Hermione.
"I...er...what's—what's wrong with you, Granger?" he asked, the statement coming out a bit more hostile then he'd intended.
"Why do you care?" she asked angrily, hugging her knees to her chest and sniffling.
"Er—because—because I do. I mean—what kind of a question is that?" Draco said, mentally kicking himself. 'Comfort her, you idiot, don't patronize her!'
"I thought I was just a Mudblood." Hermione muttered.
"Well—well you are." He said, before quickly adding, "But you're also a girl—and a crying girl at that. And although these kinds of situations make me terribly uncomfortable, there's no backing out now, is there?" Draco said, kneeling down beside her but making sure there was at least a few feet between them. The last thing he needed was to accidentally touch Granger and give her the impression that snogging him would be a good idea.
"So, what's wrong?" Draco asked, pulling off a great I-care voice that would make any psychiatrist jealous.
"It's just..." Hermione said, sniffing loudly and wiping her nose on the back of her hand. "It's Ron."
"Pulling your pigtails and calling you names still, eh?" Draco smirked, pulling out a handkerchief and handing it to her. "Wait till he hits puberty; it'll pass."
"I wish he'd hurry up," she muttered.
"Want me to punch him in the balls and tell him to get a move on?" Draco asked, looking for any reason to cause immoral pain to Weasley.
Hermione hesitated.
"I don't think I want you anywhere near his balls," she said seriously.
"Right, because that's where you belong," Draco smirked, loving the disgusted look on Hermione's face.
"Oi, Draco!" came Tonks' voice from downstairs. "Come here for a second!"
"There's my cue." He said, rising and heading for the door.
"Thank Merlin," Hermione muttered. "Hey," she said suddenly, holding up the handkerchief. "You want this back?"
"No thanks," Draco replied mildly. "You know; Mudblood slime and all that."
"Asshole," Hermione muttered, but not sounding nearly as offended as she has in the past.
Draco went down the stairs, two at a time, happy with himself for at least making an effort to be accepted. Tonks would be pleased, as would Dumbledore—and Merlin knows that life just can't go on if Dumbledore's upset with you.
After searching the first floor thoroughly, managing to tiptoe past the painting of Mrs. Black, and finally decided to look in the kitchen. He found Tonks right away, standing by the kitchen table with her hair short, purple and spiky, and her eyes blue and nervous.
"How do I look?" she asked with an uncertain smile. She stopped wringing her hands long enough to hold them out, showing off her ripped jeans and black top.
"How am I supposed to know, you're my cousin." Draco replied mildly, grabbing an apple off of the table and taking a bit out of it. "I refuse to give in to the temptations of incest."
"You great prat," Tonks said, looking annoyed. "A load of help you are."
"Why the change in—well—everything?" Draco asked curiously.
Tonks blushed, muttering, "Well, the Order is meeting tonight, and—"
"What potential suitor is coming?" he teased.
Tonks ignored him and began to list off the people in the Order.
"Well, Dumbledore—"
"Oh, after the old guys now, are you?" Draco smirked.
"—and Remus, and Mad-Eye, and Snape, and the Weasleys, and..." she paused, blushing scarlet. "Bill."
"Ahhh," Draco said knowingly. "Do I detect a hint of love in those ever-changing eyes of yours?"
"Stop it, you." Tonks said, practically glowing red as she hit Draco playfully. "Anyways, what I wanted to tell you was that you are going to have to hide upstairs with the rest while we have the meeting."
"What 'rest'?" Draco asked suspiciously, fearing the answer.
"You know who I mean," Tonks said, rolling her eyes.
"If you expect me to be in the same room as Potter and Company for more then ten seconds, then you might as well throw me to the Death Eaters now because I'd rather be torn apart by them then listen to Potter and Weasley's stimulating conversations about how girls have cooties." Draco finished, crossing his arms.
"Oh, come on, Draco, you won't be up there long." Tonks pleaded. "We're just going to have a ten minute meeting before you, Harry, Ron, and Hermione can come in and be initiated."
"You won't set my head on fire, will you?" Draco asked pathetically, recalling his thoughts of this so called 'initiation.'
"Not unless you're being a bigger prat then usual." Tonks said kindly.
NOTE: Just so y'all know, I'm gonna update every Wednesday. That way it's not, like, totally at random.
chickflick004: Yea, I know, that had me thinking too. I bet Tonks did have blonde hair before she started changing and everything. And probably gray eyes too. I bet she was a female Draco!
Herbie: One of my most loyal reviewers! Hooray! Glad you liked it and, although this isn't a Draco/Harry romance fic, I bet you can totally sense the sexual tension between them. I mean, Harry's all "I didn't know you were Dutch" and Draco's all blushing cause he's 'embarrassed'—but, in all reality, we know that he's really just blushing cause Harry's so God damn hot!... anyways, no Harry/Draco slashiness, but Draco will be kissing someone...oooo, cliffy! Muahahaha!!!!
Foags: Yay! Another one of my muchos loyal reviewers! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! Totally cool. Now, I've been wanting to say this to you for the longest time, so here goes: Whyyyyyyy?!?! Friends! Gone! How could they Foags, how could they!? Now, I know it's been—what?—a couple of months, but that doesn't mean the fact that no more Friends totally sucks bananas in pajamas. I mean, where the hell am I suppose to get all of my great lines now? Will I have to recycle my old lines I used from the show, or will Joey (the show) be just as funny and worthy of copying? sigh anyways, now that that's over, I just have one more thing to say. R.I.P. Friends, R.I.freaking.P.
Paige: Yea, I know, I'll probably never write something better then "Perks", but hey, I'll try. So glad you like it, and "Perks" too!
Actrez: Hi!!!! I'm so happy that you like this story—though, I gotta tell you, it wasn't much of a surprise since you read it before I posted it and were all, "Totally book", so I wasn't expecting a flame or anything. breaths Anyways! Good luck on getting more ideas for your currently posted story and the other one you're working one! Hopefully my computer won't go all 'gr' again, but if it does, all well, I'm sure you can just read the chapter to me over the phone! Heehee.
Krystal1989: Aw, you're so nice! sigh I'm blushing. I hope you continue to like this one!
Samilia: Thanks so much for the helpful comments. I'll try really hard to keep the dialogue in character, and hopefully this will be my first fic that doesn't have anyone OOC! I have such the tendency to do that.
A/N: If you want me to e-mail you when I update, just give me you e-mail address in the review and I'd be happy to do it :)
Chapter 2: Draco's Advanced Vocabulary
After forcing down the scrambled eggs that were—for some odd reason—green, Draco decided that the best thing to do was hide while Potter and his friends were in the house. It wasn't the courageous thing to do, but apparently goody-goodies didn't have a great abundance of courage.
But he had only gotten to the first floor and was heading for the next staircase when something stopped him—namely—a series of loud popping noises and three bodies appearing out of thin air right in front of him. Draco stumbled but, having been blessed with more balance then Tonks, he managed to catch himself before he fell to the ground.
"Malfoy," was all that Potter said as he glared at his arch nemesis—as utterly cliché as it was.
"Oh, is it the afternoon already?" Draco asked, checking his watch as the three Gryffindors did what they did best—stare. "What a shame, I was just about to leave."
"Dumbledore said that you'd be here," Weasley said, seeming to only talk because he wanted to be recognized. Either that or he truly believed that Draco cared.
"Dumbledore—always the barer of good news, eh?" Draco said, smirking. Harry, Ron, and Hermione just stood there, glaring at him.
"As fun as this little get-together is," Draco said sarcastically. "I'm gonna leave."
He stepped around them, ignoring as the three pairs of eyes followed him. He had just made it to the fireplace, a few paces away, when a red- headed girl appeared in it, surrounded by green flames and scaring the bejesus out of Draco.
"Merlin!" He exclaimed, hating how the last people he wanted to see kept popping up everywhere. "What, are you people ubiquitous or something?"
There was a small silence.
"Whoa," Ron said, seriously befuddled. "Big word."
"He's probably just overcompensating for something," Hermione muttered.
'Wow,' Draco thought. 'Did Granger just make a penis joke—albeit, a bad penis joke—but a penis joke none the less. That's a huge surprise, seeing as the only words that usually come out of her little Mudblood mouth are useless facts or, "Ron, stop looking up my skirt!" ...okay, so I've never actually heard her say it, but I bet she's screaming it all the time in the Gryffindor common room.'
After a Mudblood comment he'd used at least ten times already, Draco pushed past the lot of them and headed upstairs—much faster then normal, of course, because both Weasley and Potter looked ready to kill.
Draco thought of trying to floo off to Diagon Alley as an escape from this hell hole, but then he remembered how Dumbledore had told him to stay in the house for a few days, and Draco knew Tonks would castrate him if he tried it anyway.
So, he decided to hang out in his room until the house was Potter- free. Aware that this might take a few hours (the boy really didn't know when he wasn't wanted), Draco decided to look around Tonks' room for a book to read. He wasn't exactly sure what most of them were about (they were muggle books), so Draco concluded that picking the one with the best title was a wise choice.
"Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep and can't tell where to find them," Draco read out loud from a book entitled Mother Goose's Nursery Rhymes. Raising his eyebrows, Draco stared at the book critically before muttering, "I'll never understand muggle literature," and turning the page.
"I Love Little Pussy," Draco read slowly before a sly smirk crept its way onto his face. "Ooo, this one's dirty!"
Half way through the rhyme, once Draco found out that said pussy was actually a cat—causing him to loose interest quickly—his thoughts were interrupted by a loud argument downstairs.
"And the golden couple are at it again," Draco muttered to himself, referring to Ron and Hermione.
He couldn't make out the words—all he heard was a high-pitched yelling ("That must be Weasley,") and screaming that could only be produced by a banshee. Then some stomping on the stairs and a door slammed nearby.
Shaking his head and trying to forget about all of the teen angst those two produced, Draco continued with his reading.
"I am a pretty little Dutch girl," he began, reading the next rhyme with enthusiasm in an attempt to show no one in particular just how ridiculous he thought these muggle poems were. "As pretty as I can be. And all the boys in the neighborhood, are crazy over me."
"I never knew you were Dutch, Malfoy," came a voice from the doorway. Draco's heart stopped suddenly, and he slowly looked up to find Potter standing there with Weasley, both looking unnaturally smug.
'Ah, shit," Draco thought to himself, feeling his face go red with embarrassment. How the hell was he supposed to intimidate his way out of this?
So, in panic mode now, Draco threw every insult he could muster at them, although they slightly lost their effect when his voice cracked in the middle of calling Weasley's mom a fat whore.
Disgraced by his lack of intimidation, Draco bolted from the room, managing to trip over Potter's foot in the process.
Wanting desperately to get away from the scene of his humiliation, Draco quickly slipped into the nearest room and shut the door.
"Those stupid, cocky, sons of—" Draco stopped mid-insult when he turned around to find a bushy haired creature sitting on the floor with her head in her hands.
'Okay,' Draco thought, groping behind himself for the doorknob. 'Just walk out slowly. She probably didn't even hear me over her own constant sobbing.'
But just then Ron and Harry walked by the door, laughing loudly about the pretty little Dutch girl they'd just run into.
'Bastards,' Draco thought angrily as Hermione lifted her head and spotted him.
"What do you want, Malfoy?" she asked, wiping her face furiously.
'I guess now is as good a time as any to make some new friends,' Draco thought bitterly, taking a step toward Hermione.
"I...er...what's—what's wrong with you, Granger?" he asked, the statement coming out a bit more hostile then he'd intended.
"Why do you care?" she asked angrily, hugging her knees to her chest and sniffling.
"Er—because—because I do. I mean—what kind of a question is that?" Draco said, mentally kicking himself. 'Comfort her, you idiot, don't patronize her!'
"I thought I was just a Mudblood." Hermione muttered.
"Well—well you are." He said, before quickly adding, "But you're also a girl—and a crying girl at that. And although these kinds of situations make me terribly uncomfortable, there's no backing out now, is there?" Draco said, kneeling down beside her but making sure there was at least a few feet between them. The last thing he needed was to accidentally touch Granger and give her the impression that snogging him would be a good idea.
"So, what's wrong?" Draco asked, pulling off a great I-care voice that would make any psychiatrist jealous.
"It's just..." Hermione said, sniffing loudly and wiping her nose on the back of her hand. "It's Ron."
"Pulling your pigtails and calling you names still, eh?" Draco smirked, pulling out a handkerchief and handing it to her. "Wait till he hits puberty; it'll pass."
"I wish he'd hurry up," she muttered.
"Want me to punch him in the balls and tell him to get a move on?" Draco asked, looking for any reason to cause immoral pain to Weasley.
Hermione hesitated.
"I don't think I want you anywhere near his balls," she said seriously.
"Right, because that's where you belong," Draco smirked, loving the disgusted look on Hermione's face.
"Oi, Draco!" came Tonks' voice from downstairs. "Come here for a second!"
"There's my cue." He said, rising and heading for the door.
"Thank Merlin," Hermione muttered. "Hey," she said suddenly, holding up the handkerchief. "You want this back?"
"No thanks," Draco replied mildly. "You know; Mudblood slime and all that."
"Asshole," Hermione muttered, but not sounding nearly as offended as she has in the past.
Draco went down the stairs, two at a time, happy with himself for at least making an effort to be accepted. Tonks would be pleased, as would Dumbledore—and Merlin knows that life just can't go on if Dumbledore's upset with you.
After searching the first floor thoroughly, managing to tiptoe past the painting of Mrs. Black, and finally decided to look in the kitchen. He found Tonks right away, standing by the kitchen table with her hair short, purple and spiky, and her eyes blue and nervous.
"How do I look?" she asked with an uncertain smile. She stopped wringing her hands long enough to hold them out, showing off her ripped jeans and black top.
"How am I supposed to know, you're my cousin." Draco replied mildly, grabbing an apple off of the table and taking a bit out of it. "I refuse to give in to the temptations of incest."
"You great prat," Tonks said, looking annoyed. "A load of help you are."
"Why the change in—well—everything?" Draco asked curiously.
Tonks blushed, muttering, "Well, the Order is meeting tonight, and—"
"What potential suitor is coming?" he teased.
Tonks ignored him and began to list off the people in the Order.
"Well, Dumbledore—"
"Oh, after the old guys now, are you?" Draco smirked.
"—and Remus, and Mad-Eye, and Snape, and the Weasleys, and..." she paused, blushing scarlet. "Bill."
"Ahhh," Draco said knowingly. "Do I detect a hint of love in those ever-changing eyes of yours?"
"Stop it, you." Tonks said, practically glowing red as she hit Draco playfully. "Anyways, what I wanted to tell you was that you are going to have to hide upstairs with the rest while we have the meeting."
"What 'rest'?" Draco asked suspiciously, fearing the answer.
"You know who I mean," Tonks said, rolling her eyes.
"If you expect me to be in the same room as Potter and Company for more then ten seconds, then you might as well throw me to the Death Eaters now because I'd rather be torn apart by them then listen to Potter and Weasley's stimulating conversations about how girls have cooties." Draco finished, crossing his arms.
"Oh, come on, Draco, you won't be up there long." Tonks pleaded. "We're just going to have a ten minute meeting before you, Harry, Ron, and Hermione can come in and be initiated."
"You won't set my head on fire, will you?" Draco asked pathetically, recalling his thoughts of this so called 'initiation.'
"Not unless you're being a bigger prat then usual." Tonks said kindly.
NOTE: Just so y'all know, I'm gonna update every Wednesday. That way it's not, like, totally at random.
chickflick004: Yea, I know, that had me thinking too. I bet Tonks did have blonde hair before she started changing and everything. And probably gray eyes too. I bet she was a female Draco!
Herbie: One of my most loyal reviewers! Hooray! Glad you liked it and, although this isn't a Draco/Harry romance fic, I bet you can totally sense the sexual tension between them. I mean, Harry's all "I didn't know you were Dutch" and Draco's all blushing cause he's 'embarrassed'—but, in all reality, we know that he's really just blushing cause Harry's so God damn hot!... anyways, no Harry/Draco slashiness, but Draco will be kissing someone...oooo, cliffy! Muahahaha!!!!
Foags: Yay! Another one of my muchos loyal reviewers! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! Totally cool. Now, I've been wanting to say this to you for the longest time, so here goes: Whyyyyyyy?!?! Friends! Gone! How could they Foags, how could they!? Now, I know it's been—what?—a couple of months, but that doesn't mean the fact that no more Friends totally sucks bananas in pajamas. I mean, where the hell am I suppose to get all of my great lines now? Will I have to recycle my old lines I used from the show, or will Joey (the show) be just as funny and worthy of copying? sigh anyways, now that that's over, I just have one more thing to say. R.I.P. Friends, R.I.freaking.P.
Paige: Yea, I know, I'll probably never write something better then "Perks", but hey, I'll try. So glad you like it, and "Perks" too!
Actrez: Hi!!!! I'm so happy that you like this story—though, I gotta tell you, it wasn't much of a surprise since you read it before I posted it and were all, "Totally book", so I wasn't expecting a flame or anything. breaths Anyways! Good luck on getting more ideas for your currently posted story and the other one you're working one! Hopefully my computer won't go all 'gr' again, but if it does, all well, I'm sure you can just read the chapter to me over the phone! Heehee.
Krystal1989: Aw, you're so nice! sigh I'm blushing. I hope you continue to like this one!
Samilia: Thanks so much for the helpful comments. I'll try really hard to keep the dialogue in character, and hopefully this will be my first fic that doesn't have anyone OOC! I have such the tendency to do that.
A/N: If you want me to e-mail you when I update, just give me you e-mail address in the review and I'd be happy to do it :)