CHAPTER TWO: Prognosis

J. ARGON CLINIC, HAVEN CITY; ONE WEEK AGO

Holly Short's foot was drumming out a frantic beat on the floor of the waiting room. Dr. Jerbal Argon was such a stickler for propriety and rules; he knew who she was by now. Was all this rigamarole necessary? Then again, the doctor had been inept enough to allow the greatest criminal mastermind of their times – Artemis Fowl notwithstanding – to escape from within his care undetected for ages before Foaly connected the dots. Now everything had to be double- and triple-checked. Probably for the best.

"You're clear," the gnome said at last as he poked his head in. "As I'm sure you expected, but one never can be too careful."

"Sure can't," she said placatingly. No need to be overly cruel about Opal's disappearance when the doctor undoubtedly regretted it enough already. "Can I..."

"Yes, yes, this way."

This is the day, she thought to herself. If Artemis is up to it... then this is the day when I take a shot. If I blow a hole in my own foot, then so be it.

His door was guarded constantly. Despite his most recent efforts to save the world at large from the Greenhouse Effect, and shortly thereafter averting the abduction of the People's most powerful warlock, No1, Commander Trouble Kelp was unwilling to leave the human unwatched. Frankly, he was unwilling to have him treated in their own city, preferring he be taken above-ground and left to the "Mud Man quacks", as he had put it. But at insistences from Holly, Foaly and No1 himself, the decorated soldier had to agree that the humans were ill-equipped to tackle the dreaded Atlantis Complex from which the boy suffered. It was a fairy condition that was better serviced by fairy neurologists.

The bottle of fine sim-wine she'd bribed him with officially had no sway over his decision. Officially.

Truth be told, however, Artemis no longer needed to be in the clinic. He suffered from occasional bouts of depression, and would sometimes wince when he heard the number "four", but mostly he had made long strides along the road to recovery. The cocktail of drugs and hours of therapy had done wonders for the young genius; he maintained that the therapy had nothing to do with his improved mental health whatsoever, but Holly suspected that having a psychiatrist who could actually appreciate the more fantastical aspects of his life story without thinking he was living in Imagination Land was quite a boon. Human therapists who hear their patients yammering on about evil pixies and troll pheromones tend to reach for the straightjacket first and ask questions later.

Her face began smiling all on its own as they reached his door. Drat. It was an involuntary response she couldn't seem to break. Holly refused to inform him that she secretly enjoyed him being so close to home. How would that sound? "I'm ever so glad you turned into a raving lunatic so I could visit you more often!" He was unlikely to be cheered by this point of view.

"Afternoon, Captain," he said idly from where he was reclining in a chair, flipping through some fairy magazine or other. "Lovely weather."

"Shut up, Mud Boy," she snorted. They both knew full well that there was no weather in Haven, even if he was allowed outside his cell to enjoy it. "If you don't mind, Doctor...?"

"The usual privacy," Argon said with a nod. "Yes, of course. I must insist you only stay for an hour this time, as-"

"Let me guess; chess match?"

"Quite. I consider it important for his development into a more well-adjusted Mud B- ahh, I mean patient."

"Dire," Artemis muttered glibly as he turned a page.

At last, they were rid of the meddling staff – save for the sentry outside the door, but they were assured he could hear absolutely nothing. Artemis laid aside the periodical and asked, "Did you get it?"

Holly sighed, withdrawing a black-and-greyish roll from beneath her arm. "Do you know what channels I have to go through in order to nab a Mud Man newspaper? It was down to Doodah Day to come up with it, and he got more gold than he deserved for the job."

"Ahh, civilization!" he exclaimed as she unfurled the Wall Street Journal. "Not that reading beauty tips for less-flaky points on one's ears isn't educational..."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Surreptitiously, she thumbed the tips of her own ears; smooth and supple as always. Moisturizer was key. "So... how's life in lockup been treating you?"

"Fine," he said with a smile; he failed to elaborate until he'd glanced over everything on the front page, then laid the paper aside to peruse at great length once his visitor had gone. "You know, I think they've taken quite a shine to me. I heard one orderly mention something to the effect of, 'If somebody doesn't get that Mud Brat out of my hair soon, I'm going to stick him where the bum flap swings'. Such colorful commentary is doing wonders for my sanity."

Holly snickered. "Well, what can you expect? Even on a good day, you're no saint. Besides, most of these people have grown up resenting humankind for thieving the surface from us."

"And many of your kind has tried to kill me," he countered. "Should we revisit the prevailing attitude of the demons?"

"We shouldn't," she said with a wince. "Though I could point out that it's the humans' fault to begin with; coexistence is not their strong suit."

"Touché."

Holly smiled at him. Why was it that she enjoyed talking to him more than anyone in the Lower Elements? Even next to Mulch or Foaly, whom she considered to be close friends, a chat with Artemis was just so much more... what was it?

"Something on your mind, Captain?"

"No," she replied automatically, and instantly regretted it. There was, and this was the easiest way to broach the subject. Why had she denied it? Nerves. Yet another thing about Artemis that she failed to comprehend; he could unsettle her like nobody else, and with ease.

"Another date with Commander Kelp gone awry?"

"No," she told him more forcefully. "And I remember stepping on your head last time you asked me that. I thought you were supposed to be learning from past mistakes in here."

"Glutton for punishment," he told her with a wide grin.

"One date!" she hissed. "One, and I'm branded for life! And the one was an extremely lousy time to be had! D'Arvit!"

"No need for foul language," Artemis said blithely. "Just curious."

"Even if he were stupid enough to ask me out again – which he isn't – I assure you that I would spurn his advances."

"Why? He and yourself are well-suited to each other, from all appearances."

"Appearances can be deceiving," she growled. "And they aren't everything. Sometimes two people who look totally wrong for each other can..."

It was literally until she was that far into the statement that she realized what she was truly commenting on, so she cleared her throat instead.

"Can?"

"Nevermind."

"No, that sounded like it was winding up to something quite intriguing," he said with his patented wicked, plotting grin that she hated (hated to like, that is). "Birds of different feathers flock together, eh?"

"What about Turnball and his human wife?" she said, grasping at an example that didn't involve her personally. "It sounds like a match made in Limbo, but they got it to work; they were the genuine article."

"Indeed. Too bad he was a genuine psychopath."

"That... is unfortunate," she admitted. Pitiful headway she was making.

"Come on, then. What's really on your mind, fair maiden? Bear your soul unto me, and I shall-"

"I told you to stop that! It's not funny! It scares me!"

"Fine, fine," he laughed, unrepentant. "You dislike poor Orion; he's sad about that, truly. Or would be if he still existed."

Holly caught that. "So... he is gone? You don't sense him in there anymore?" When he shook his head, she heaved a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank Frond!"

"I can still remember everything he did," Artemis went on. "But whereas when I was first admitted I could still feel him lingering in my mind, straining to reassert his persona, now there is nothing. I believe I am, to borrow the colloquialism, 'right as rain'. Although I do seem to be marginally more adept at hand-to-hand combat than I once was..."

"The doctor did mention that to me," she said, lighthearted from this news. "He said a few of your alter ego's traits might bleed into yours as he faded, but it would mostly be secondary things like that. Glad to find out that he knows his stuff."

"Seems so. And now, the final test: say it."

"Are you sure?"

"Very."

Holly took a deep breath. "Four four four four."

Artemis's eye twitched; she caught it, there could be no smoothing over that in her mind. But he did not start tapping his foot twenty times, did not cower in the corner or start ranting that everyone was plotting against him. Other than the mild movement of his eyelid, he was supremely unaffected.

"I wasn't expecting you to say it four times," he said with a slight smile. "Clever strategy, but I do believe I am the victor."

"Oh, Artemis!" Holly laughed, hopping up to throw her arms around his neck. At the last moment, he caught her around the waist so they wouldn't topple to the floor. "I'm so happy – I'm so glad you're... you're you again! It's been killing me inside, knowing what you're going through and that I couldn't do anything to help."

"But you have," he contradicted her. "You've been a 'positive influence', according to the good doctor. And according to me; between you and my mother, I'm beginning to suspect there might be some slight chance of redemption for this old mastermind yet."

"Oh, what did I do?" she laughed, wiping at her eyes as he set her down gently. "Yelled at you for being such an evil son-of-a-troll. Some positive influence."

"You did this." When she looked up, she saw he was holding a coin with a hole in its center. "This was a lot. It's helped me over and over."

"That's..." Her voice caught in her throat as she glanced toward the hairline scar around her trigger finger. "That's less about my influence on you and more about me owing you a debt."

"Poppycock," he said as he turned it over in his hand. "I'm sure you remember every word you said to me when you gave me this coin. I know I do."

"I meant it all," she said earnestly. "And I feel a little vindicated, since I was one hundred per cent right on the money; you're just a decent guy who thought he was a villain. Took you a while to get there, but you did."

"Well, one can't be a genius in all areas of expertise," he said with false modesty as he pocketed his keepsake. "Holly... I feel too often I have insinuated that my intellect is superior to yours."

"Stated openly is more like it."

He grimaced. "Alas, guilty as charged. But perhaps it should be said that your wealth of knowledge is aimed in a different direction. You're a genius of the heart."

Her lip quivered, and she instantly chided herself for it. What was she doing, acting like some gelatinous amorphobot, just because Artemis had complimented her? She coughed and said, "Thanks."

"Now, back to what's troubling you. Don't think I've forgotten so quickly."

"It can wait," she said immediately, having already decided. Today was a good day – extremely good – but it was not THE day.

"Out with it," he persisted. "I'm curious. And you know how I get when I'm curious... I could have listening devices planted in your pillows to get to the bottom of-"

"Fine, fine," she snapped, irritated now. It was not the mood she would have chosen to be in when initiating this discourse. "Your funeral."

"I shall dig my very own shallow grave. Onward."

She exhaled deeply, trying not to look at his two-tone irises, to see that little bit of herself there. It was hard enough without thinking about how a part of her friend was always with her, how they were intrinsically linked by this displacement. "About... Orion."

"This can't be good," he grunted.

"I told you! Did I not tell you?"

"Very well," he sighed wearily. "I did promise to dig my own grave. What about Sir Orion of Locksley?"

"Something has been bothering me. About his... amorous advances."

"The way he was all over you like sharks on the trading floor."

Holly didn't understand his simile, so she decided it must be a Mud Man thing and ploughed ahead. "Uhh, yeah. He kept insisting that the way he felt was the way you felt; that the only difference was that he saw no need to hide it. I wanted to ask you if... if there's any truth in that."

"You mean, have I been pining away after you in here, scratching your name on the walls with my plastic spoon?" He chuckled. "Hardly. That isn't to say I don't adore you, Holly, I do, but... I think Orion may have been exaggerating a touch. Which seemed to be what he was best at."

She could feel her heart drooping slightly beneath the fabric of her LEPrecon uniform. "Really?"

"You don't agree that he was a melodramatic ponce?"

"Well, yeah," she said with a roll of her eyes. "But... about the rest... I mean, I don't, either, but I had to ask. For the sake of our friendship."

"No," he said solidly. "I put that behind me when I hurt you. Ailing mothers or no ailing mothers, what I did to you was inexcusable. Of course, part of friendship is forgiveness – or so I'm told by reputable sources," and here they both snickered, "but... no one being has done enough wrong in their lifetime to be deserving of someone who can justify playing such a callous trick on them. To use your example of the dastardly Captain Root; he enthralled his wife. She was blameless, and still he did this horrible thing to her. Their love was real, but in the end, how was he deserving?"

"You... 'put it behind you', eh?"

"Hmm?"

Holly pinned him down with her gaze. That miniscule tidbit had almost slipped past her unnoticed, but she caught it up, bent on dissecting it. "If you say you put it behind you, that means it existed."

"Er... indeed," he laughed nervously. "I'm not a big enough fool to deny I felt something between us. But you were saturated with superfluous hormones that you hadn't felt with such intensity for-"

"Careful..."

"For quite some time," he finished, sidestepping the issue of her age. "How could I hold you responsible? More seriously, I wasn't too far off from my usual age, so it was up to me to prevent such things from happening."

"Don't do that," the captain rebuked him. "Don't take on all the weight; we were both there. Just because I was in a more youthful body doesn't mean I was entirely powerless to its whims."

"I have to believe that, though. Because if I don't... then that means we shared a genuine moment – more than once, yet. Two sober, uninfluenced individuals. That's far more difficult to dismiss, isn't it?"

"It is. It's reality, though."

Artemis stared down at her wide, patient eyes for a long moment, confused. Finally, he whispered, "I... wonder if I might ask, precisely why are we talking about this? Is there a reason?"

"Does there have to be?"

"We need to be cautious," he told her, a tiny pinprick of urgency creeping into his words. "Straying into this veritable minefield of emotions is... ill-advised."

"Why?"

"Because I respect our friendship in its present state. It's crucial to me. Very crucial."

This warmed her immensely. "I do, too. You know I do."

"I know." For a moment, he gazed over toward his bed, then he turned back. "But still you press the issue. This isn't a judgement, not exactly; I'm just wondering if there's a specific reason."

"It just feels so... unresolved," she burst out. "I keep thinking about you, and wondering what might have been, and- that's not to say I think about you all the time, or anything, but... when I do, that question always pops up. I thought it might be wise to, I don't know... revisit? Lay it to rest? I don't know what I thought, now."

"Because... you don't want it to linger between us, and confuse the matter in the future? Possibly. A mere guess. Am I right?"

"Mostly, yes, that's what I was thinking." It wasn't a lie. Not a bald-faced one, anyway.

He thought for a moment, thumb and forefinger at his chin. At last he dropped his hand and asked, "What answer would you rather I give?"

"I think you've been hanging around with psychologists too long," she grunted. "Want me to tell you about my mother next?"

"Come on, you can't blame me for trying."

"What I'd rather we didn't do is play games instead of really talking about this. But if you're not up to that yet-"

"You are the one who told me – unreservedly – that my 'elf-kissing days are over', Holly. Regardless of the fact that I never initiated a kiss with you. I am attempting to respect someone's wishes for a change."

"I was hurt, Artemis," she said, stepping out from behind the stone wall she had built around her feelings for a moment. "You had your reasons for deceiving me, I understand, and I get it now, but at the time... it felt like we had placed my heart in the warmest, safest place it had ever been, and then you up and shot it with a Neutrino blaster. I'm sure you didn't expect a dozen roses when you told me you lied to me."

"To be honest, I didn't expect you to ever speak to me again."

"But I have. Sometimes, given a couple of days to lick our wounds, friends can forgive each other. According to reliable sources."

He laughed quietly. "Yes, so I've heard."

"Yeah. So," she said, clearing her throat and trying to regain a more business-like tone. "I guess I just wanted to know if you still found me 'fetching', or whatever Orion said. It seems important."

"If you're wondering if I find you visually appealing, the answer is always going to be 'absolutely'. Unless you mutate into a goblin."

Holly felt her pulse quicken. He still saw her that way, even now? It was such a simple thing he'd said, that she was attractive. So then, why did it excite her at all? Was she so desperate that every compliment sent her soaring through the clouds? "Huh."

"That, er, wasn't intended as a pick-up line," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Merely a statement of fact: you are a pretty little elf."

"Don't lay it on so thick," she said sarcastically, miffed at being called "little" by a Mud Boy who was small among his own kind.

"You are a vision before mine eyes," he said in disturbingly-familiar tones. "Shall I construct my princess a bivouac?"

"Enough with the Orionisms! Argh, aren't you tired of them, too?"

"Extremely. But we keep changing the subject. Or... has our discussion reached its end? Did you find out what you wanted to know?"

Holly was tempted to say she had; Artemis gave off every outward sign of having "gotten over" her. But on the other hand, he could just as easily be shielding his feelings to prevent himself from getting hurt – or out of loyalty. She had told him that all would-be romantic encounters were on permanent hiatus, that was true, but had she really meant it? Or perhaps the real question was: did she still hold either of them to that commandment?

"You're not too hideous yourself, Mud Boy," she ventured, winking at him.

"Eh?"

"Just returning the favor."

"Ah," he said, laughing as a slight rouge crept into his cheeks. From the awkwardness of the moment, or the wink... or wherefore? "Well, I and my other personalities thank you."

The longing to run into his arms and smother him with affection continued to build as they stared at each other. What was wrong with her? His response was what she had wanted; to make sure the lingering spark between them was dead and gone so they could cement their friendship as a lifelong and enduring one. But she knew a part of her yearned for more. More from Artemis, more in general and not specifically from Artemis? She wasn't sure of anything, and the last thing she wanted was to force a closer bond just because she wanted one from a breathing entity, when they actually held no real feelings beyond comradeship.

But the devil on her shoulder wasn't finished testing the waters.

"In fact," she said in a would-be casual fashion, "I'd go so far as to say you're maturing into a reasonably handsome young chap. For a human."

"You know, I'd meant to qualify my assessment of your beauty with species-specific terms, as well, but it must have slipped my mind." Was he reprimanding her, pointing out a flaw in her racial politics? He was. "I thought we were trying to break down those boundaries."

"Yes," she nodded with a smile. "Those boundaries should be broken down. Outdated thinking like that... it gets in the way of lasting peace. True happiness."

She was standing nose-to-chest with him now, staring up into his eyes. He can hear my heart pounding, she worried. I know he can. It's never, ever beat this hectically; even when I was crawling all over him like that silky sifaka. During our time-traveling adventure, I was too out of my head to be scared of the results of my actions. Anything went! Now I'm terrified; of being rejected... or being encouraged. What will I do when he notices? Any minute now, he's going to ask me what's wrong with me. And what am I going to be able to answer him?

"You're shielding. Why are you shielding?"

Holly fought to master herself; her pulse was thrumming so fast that she'd faded from sight. If given the chance, his computing brain would deduce the reasoning for that, so she had to get a handle on this quick. He can't know. He can't know how I feel; there's too much at stake

"Would you like a hug?"

That snapped her out of it. "Bwa?"

"It's... I have been assured that hugging my friends is a perfectly normal function of being a typical adolescent," he told her awkwardly. "To be honest, this seems pandering and juvenile, but I've never once regretted embracing you up to now, so... it doesn't seem as if there's any harm in it."

You may be wrong there, she thought darkly. And the moment he knelt slightly to draw her close, she became sure of it.

His touch set her skin aflame. The feeling of his back beneath her hands, the scent of his hair... everything seemed to assault her senses, play with her mind like a toy. These were nothing compared to the reactions the rest of her body was experiencing, but these she forcibly ignored; too much, too soon. As it was, she was perilously close to moaning into his hair from the pure ecstasy being so close to him brought.

"Holly, I love you."

"WHAT?" she exclaimed, forcing him back, heart thudding against her throat now as her eyes flew open. "Did- Artemis!"

"I do," he said, appropriately uncomfortable with this statement. "You're very... I'm sorry, this is something else Dr. Argon recommended. He says it's not enough to simply say, 'you're not a worthless lump of dwarf dung', but that I should speak aloud that I cherish my friends and family, use actual words beyond mere implication. That it will help me establish... blast, I am sorry if saying it to you... it must have sounded very, em, forward."

"No, no," she told him soothingly, hands shaking as she patted him on the shoulder. "It's... a step in your process, I understand. If I held it against you, or got mad about it, I'd be part of the problem instead of the solution. So I will not. I will not," she said again, more to herself. That doctor was in for a real earful the next time she saw him...

Then he reached up and touched her face. "I- I really did upset you just now. I'm so sorry, Holly, but you must understand I didn't say it merely because I'm supposed to. I genuinely do lo-"

"Don't!" she warned, quivering. "Please, it's not that I'm trying to be mean, j-just... don't use that word again!"

Now his cheeks were probably as red as hers. "It... does make me feel a bit out of sorts, also, saying it to you. Because we..."

Holly was staring at the mouth she had once had the audacity to assume she could press her own against. The finger he'd once rescued strayed upward, tracing along his lower lip as she echoed, "Because we..."

"Holly?"

They stayed like that, suspended in mid-movement with questioning eyes deadlocked, for what felt like days. Then, much to both of their surprise, she slapped him.

"OW!"

"Sorry!" she told him earnestly, bending over his form. "It was- I think that was some kind of police-issue reflex, muscle-memory thing, I- my brain was overloading and perceived you as the threat, and I just reacted, and – D'Arvit, that wasn't the reaction I meant t-to-"

But Artemis was laughing. It was a weak, unsure chuckle, but at least he wasn't weeping or screaming at her. Unfortunately, it had the downside of making him sound like he was having a relapse.

"No," she breathed. "I... I broke you again. Please, Artemis, say something – something that doesn't involve bivouacs or numbers!"

"That's going to smart in the morning," he grunted, but his eyes were smiling. Holly didn't know how to react.

Regrettably, their hour was then up. It hadn't seemed like an hour, but then again with all the pregnant pauses it stood to reason that more time had elapsed than they had been aware. Dr. Argon did knock before entering, and when he brought Artemis's small cup of pills and a glass of water, Holly felt acutely aware of what she'd been doing: preying on a mental patient for gratification. It was a woeful breach of morals.

Trying to pick up a date in the psych ward, her conscience shrieked as she strode quickly down the hall. What kind of sicko are you?

o o o END Chapter Two o o o

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yay. As nice as it is to be telling a new tale, I once again find myself infuriated by Matron's tireless attempts to make submitting work more and more difficult for fanfic authors. Now I find my chapters are being smooshed into large, single paragraphs no matter what format I submit it in, rich text, html, DOC, ODT... argh. It gives me a towering migraine. But enough of my bellyaching about things that cannot be changed :P

On the other hand, I'm glad I've got a few people interested. Huzzah for stolen moments and palpable tension! Lots to do, lots to do...