The Christmas lights really are enchanting. This is one of my favourite actives with the cubs, seeing all their faces light up is truly magical. We slow down in the traffic and I glance out the window, taking in the lights on the shop outside when I see her. I pause incase I'm dreaming or maybe it's another hallucination or doppelgänger. Several times over the past months I think I've seen her, on some occasions I've even gone up to say hello only to discover, on a closer look, that it's someone who looks an awful lot like her.
I rub my hand over the window, trying to remove the condensation that's formed during our journey. It really is her this time, with her mother by her side, looking just as she did before the accident. My heart is beating at two hundred beats a minute when she catches my eye and I melt away.
The bus pulls on and I feel her following me with her eyes. I turn away desperately trying the hold in the urge to shout stop the bus and get off.
-
The Cubs begin a chant of 'If you're happy and you know it', usually I'd join in in an instant but instead I sit, silently playing over what's just happened. It was her, really her here in London. What's she doing here? Does that means she's better? Is she coming back? So many questions without an answer. How they will get answered I don't know.
-
Cycling back from my call out is getting more difficult. I've been thinking about Delia even more that I usually would ever since the Christmas Lights trip. She fills every though I have when I'm both awake and asleep and it's starting to affect my work again. When Delia had her accident and was first in Wales my mind would wander at the most inappropriate times, during clinic, deliveries and at dinner. Both Sister Julienne and Trixie had something to say about it. Trixie's obviously the more sympathetic conversation and Sister Julienne's not one I wish to repeat, now I'm heading back towards that time.
I'm almost back to Nonnatus when I hear the sound I've been willing to hear from the darkness and a figure stepping forward.
"Pats"
I slam on my breaks hearing my wheels screech against the road below. I turn to see her in the red coat I saw her in days before.
"Where on earth have you been?" It come out with more anger than I intended but maybe deep down that's how I'm truly feeling - angry.
"Didn't want to knock on the door.. Didn't want to be asked in, see you for the first time with everybody watching" her voice is soft, as it was before the accident. Not the childlike voice I heard in the hospital. She's right, I wouldn't want to see her with the whole of Nonnatus there either.
I pause telling her to wait while I change before pushing my bike back to the bike shed outside Nonnatus.
My heart is in my throat as I hurry up the wooden stairs to my room. My fingers shaking as I pull down the zip of my uniform and step out of it, folding it neatly on the end of the bed. I pull on my dark tartan skirt and blouse before wrapping my green coat around me and springing down the stairs back to Delia.
My heart is galloping as I get closer to her, the confirmation that I have imagined the last couple of days standing right the in the shadows. She smiles softly as I get closer to her, she opens her arms towards me and we embrace, an awkward sort of hug that neither of us are sure when to break.
When we do, no words are needed, Delia loops her arm through the crook of my own and we silently walk towards the cafe on the corner.
"I'll get us some tea" Delia's Welsh tones still don't fail to make me melt.
I flash a silent look of approval and make towards to juke box, hoping they have our favourite song available. They do and I push my penny into the slot and head back towards the seats Delia has got is in the window.