Reproach
Disclaimer: I own nothing of "The Vision of Escaflowne. Otherwise, Folken and Eries would somehow be together.
Note:
Happy Birthday, Folken!
I know it's been a while since I touched this story and I apologize. A lot of things came in between, not just other stories but major events in my life as well. But I'm back now and I am going to devote all my fan fiction energies to completing this one before moving on to "Drink in the Moonlight".
This story is only meant to have six chapters so I'm going to work with a deadline again and this will be Eries' birthday, March 18. So I'll try to post one chapter a week, depending on my schedule. Whatever happens, I will finish this by March 18.
For those still reading this, thank you for your continued support.
I'd especially like to mention windwraith and Millefiore. You keep the love for Folken and Eries alive!
Hope you enjoy this chapter!
EDIT: Ok so apparently there was an error in uploading this chapter the last time and only the first few lines appeared on the site. I'm so sorry for the mix up. I had posted this chapter and left it without checking if it uploaded properly.
Anyway, I've been horribly busy with school work and other things so I've had no time to work on the next chapter yet. And I'll be going out of town next week so I doubt I'll be able to work on it at all during that time.
Nevertheless, I am determined to finish this short story by Eries' birthday. So somehow, I will work double time and sleep less so I can get everything up by that time.
For now, hope you like this one and sorry again for the mix up!
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"Why are you doing this?"
"This is politics. This is how things are done. You must accept that."
"Don't give me that excuse. I know how this game is played."
"Then perhaps, Princess, you should learn to play along."
Eries Aria Aston glared at the man who stood before her, a man she no longer recognized.
It had been five years since Strategos Folken had saved her from the monster and in that short time, so much had changed.
After Eries had recovered slightly from the trauma of the incident, she learned that Lord Folken and his party had departed Freid without leaving any messages other than the expected courtesies. She did not wonder so much at his cold behavior and she convinced herself that she ought not to be too disappointed by it. There was nothing to be gained by nurturing sentiment over something as fleeting as the look in his eyes when he first saved her.
And as they stood there, face to face once more but in very different circumstances, Eries wondered what she had ever seen in him that gave her that nagging hope. Because whatever she thought of him five years ago, the man before her now might as well have been a complete stranger.
And when once they had stood together as allies, they now faced one another on opposite sides of a war that threatened to destroy everything in its path. For it was only now that Zaibach revealed its true intentions, and every other country that tried to take a stand was paying the price.
Eries stared into his cold eyes and managed to return his gaze equally icily. This was not the first time they had been thrown together to negotiate terms as representatives of their countries but this was the first time that she openly showed her disapproval of his country's actions. She had had enough of the subtleties and twisted verbal paths that led nowhere. She was here to try and save what was left of her home and her people, no matter how futile her efforts would be.
And she knew very well, that she would not have much luck. Nevertheless, she had to try and talk some sense into him, if he would only choose to listen. But again, that seemed highly unlikely.
She had exhausted every argument in her extensive arsenal. But as expected, he matched her every word with some cold, calculated response. They had been playing this game for years and they knew each other's moves well.
"You cannot seriously believe that this will end well for anyone," she insisted, "you said yourself you've seen more than a lifetime's worth of bloodshed."
"And so the cycle must end here," he answered calmly.
"With more killing and fighting, I highly doubt that," she retorted.
"I understand you concern, Princess," he replied, "but everything has been accounted for, every single detail has been studied most carefully. Emperor Dornkirk has seen the future and he is certain that this is the path we must all take."
"No one can know the future," Eries answered, "and to believe that Fate can be controlled is nothing but folly."
"Folly to those who do not understand and so fear it," Folken replied serenely, "you must learn to have faith."
"That is much to ask when people are suffering all around me," she retorted fiercely.
Folken closed his eyes and sighed in that manner of his. Eries narrowed her eyes and waited for his response.
"The losses are regrettable, of course," he said, at length, "but they cannot be avoided if we are to advance."
"They can be avoided if you cease this madness," Eries cried, "are you so blinded to the truth that you do not realize that this will all end in destruction?"
Her usual cold and steady exterior was unraveling as her anger began to show. She wanted to make him see, to understand that nothing good could ever come from all this devastation. He gazed at her sadly and she knew that he understood but was just too stubborn to admit it.
"It's too late to turn back now," he whispered, for once uncertainty creeping into his voice, "we have to keep going."
"That's not true," she urged, relieved and glad that some of her words had penetrated his armor somehow, "you can still speak to your Emperor. You can still stop this."
"I can't," he said simply, fixing her with that gaze that made all other diplomats tremble.
But she was the only person who could return his gaze without being intimidated. Again, she questioned herself on what she had wanted to achieve by coming here to talk to him. Was she really trying to speak on behalf of Asturia? She came here when she would have been better off staying by her father's side or sitting at his council making sure that Meiden Fassa did not sell the kingdom to its enemies. Why had she come at all?
And she knew that he knew how pointless all this arguing was going to be. He had proven that he was immovable and there was nothing she could say to change his mind. And yet he had agreed to speak to her. What was he playing at? Was he mocking her? Or worse, did he pity her? Did he think that she would ever allow him to do so with impunity?
Eries clenched her fists in frustration but she refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her consternation reflected in her face. The mask she wore was as cold and stony as his. How had they both come to this?
At the end of the discussion, there was not much left to say unless she repeated all she had already said. No one could have done more as an ambassador of her country and yet why did Eries still feel like she ought to take one more stab at this before she left.
But what other argument could she use? What other appeal could she call upon to get his attention?
As she racked her brain, the memory of her brush with death years ago suddenly surfaced.
"Would that I had died five years ago," she blurted out without meaning to, speaking more to herself than to her companion.
But this certainly got Folken's attention and he looked at her curiously.
"What are you talking about?" he asked in puzzlement.
She looked at him in surprise and thought for a few moments before replying.
"If this is the payment for saving my life five years ago," she explained, "then let me alone bear the burden, not my country, not my people."
"Don't be ridiculous," he said, with the slightest hint of anger in his voice, "this has nothing to do with that."
"How can you be so sure?" she replied, "Fate works in mysterious ways."
"Don't make it personal," he said gravely.
"When my country is in danger, it is personal," she answered quickly.
"Then, maybe you should learn to distance yourself from it," he advised.
"I'm not like you," she replied, shaking her head.
And she thought she saw the slightest hint of hurt in his eyes. But the moment passed quickly.
"You know nothing about me," he said gravely, "so how can you even say you know what I'm like?"
"I've seen enough to know that you would do anything to achieve your goals," she explained, "But no matter how noble your aims are, they can never justify endangering the lives of innocent people."
"Hardly the language of diplomacy, Princess," he said. They were returning to familiar territory and for this he was relieved.
"Negotiations are over," she said in both frustration and desperation, "They are useless at this point. I am ordering you frankly, stop."
It sounded ridiculous after she had said it but she could not longer take it back.
"You know I cannot do that," he replied, almost patronizingly.
"You mean you WILL not do it," she said in anger and resignation.
"I'm sorry to disappoint you," but no apology sounded emptier. She glared at him.
"I don't know what I expected really," Eries said with a sigh, "But now I have confirmed my suspicion."
"Which was?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"That your heart is just as cold as that metal arm of yours," she said icily.
He was more hurt by this than he let on. So was she and she felt a twinge of regret after saying it, but both were too stubborn to recant. Too much was at stake.
"Then you would seem to know more of my heart than I do," was all he said in reply.
Folken said nothing after this but simply turned his cold gaze towards her. And once again, she returned it. Their masks were still intact.
"Good-bye, Lord Folken," Eries said, taking her leave, "and thank you for your time. I'm obliged to you."
"Not at all, Princess Eries," Folken replied with a bow, "I wish you a safe journey back to Pallas."
"Thank you," she said, with a curtsy.
They were always so good at giving all the necessary formalities no matter how empty and insincere these seemed. Especially now. Even when they knew that they were not being observed, that appearances need not be kept, they continued the masquerade because it was only by playing this game that they both felt safe even if they were as vulnerable as ever.
They parted, certain of what sides they were on, but uncertain of what they truly felt.
Why had she come at all? Eries thought in exasperation. She knew that she would have achieved nothing. Why had she insisted on seeing him? Why had she believed that she could actually reach out to him?
There was a fearsome thought and one that she was reluctant to entertain. Was her true motive not as selfless as she had wanted it to appear? In trying to convince him to change, was she trying to save him and not necessarily her people?
But why would she still want to save him, after all he had done?
She knew the answer but she dared not say it aloud, and she did not even trust herself to think it. That would not do. Not with all that was happening, not with all that had changed.
She had proven it herself. He would not move, and so doomed himself and her as well.
"I'm such a fool," she thought in misery as she made her way back to the palace, back to her duties in a broken country, "I must forget all of this now. This cannot possibly continue."
Little did she know that the same thoughts were being echoed in his mind.
Folken had spent five years keeping whatever he felt for Princess Eries safely locked away. He could not afford to let all his hard work be wasted now. And yet, in the work of a night, she had effectively undone all his efforts. But neither of them could look back on their discussion with any satisfaction.
She had been trying to tell him something but he had closed his ears to her pleas. As he recalled each word exchanged, he could see that she had not come simply on behalf of her people. Did he dare entertain that suspicion of what her true motive had been? Why else did she insist on speaking to him and him alone? And why else did she try and wound him with her words?
But she had pierced the armor and pierced it deep. He admitted that much. He had wanted her to understand as well, to see that he was trying to do something for the good of all. If he could only convince her that what he was doing was for the best, perhaps he could better convince himself as well.
He did not want to admit the justice of her words because he knew that it was too late for him to turn back. He knew that to waver now would only make it worse for everyone.
They were both too stubborn for their own good. Neither would yield. And thus they were doomed to be on opposite sides.
It was regrettable that things had to come to this, Folken thought. But something inside him said that what he felt was far greater than any regret. He brushed the feeling aside, as he did all his emotions. He had lived like this for the past ten years and he was not about to let himself be defeated by man's most common weakness. Not now.
After all, she clearly despised him now. If she had not before they spoke, he was sure that she could not forgive him after this. That was just as well. Or so he tried to convince himself as he made his way back to the Flying Fortress.
This has to stop, he kept telling himself, and this must end here.
Easier said than done, the nagging voice inside him mocked.
It seemed, even after five years, some things had not changed. But how they both wished they had changed. It would have made everything so much easier. But as they also knew, Fate loved to make playthings of people.