Chapter Excerpt: "...After all, I…" He stopped, unsure if now would be the time to confess that he used to have a crush on her and that those dormant romantic feelings slowly surfaced again.
Vanya raised her brow, "You…?"
Five bit the inside of his cheek, "I just want to have that close bond with you again. That's all." He half-lied, forcing a tiny smile."

Previously

Slowly, the door swung open, revealing the rest of the Hargreeves siblings all decked out in their signature Umbrella Academy uniforms. Allison and Luther stood close together. Diego leaned against the door frame. Ben and Klaus stood in the middle while Klaus looked like he was being suffocated by his tie.

"Did I mention how much I hated these stupid uniforms growing up?"

Allison giggled, "Well…get used to it, Klaus. We are stuck in these uniforms until we move out."

Klaus whined but soon remembered that those awful uniforms weren't the worse part…

"I know that look, Klaus and yes, we get to go through puberty all over again." Five broke the shocking news to his now depressed brother.

"Oh great…well, if my door is closed, then don't come in…"

"Gross Klaus…"

Letting out a long, exasperated sigh, Vanya glanced at herself in the bathroom mirror. She focused on how she looked in her uniform; a certain outfit that she never thought – in a million years – she would wear again. It also took some adjusting getting used to having long hair and bangs again. As a teenager, she had grown out her hair and bangs and once she was an adult, she cut it short. She didn't want anything, whether it be her own hair or a piece of clothing, to remind her of the horrific abuse she endured while she lived at that manor.

And now…

Here she was…

Dawning the same clothes and hair as the suppressed memories slowly came flooding back. She just couldn't escape them no matter how hard she tried.

"I guess those pills were a blessing in disguise…they made me forget…" She muttered, fixing her tie, completely unaware that there was a second reflection in the mirror.

"Make you forget what?" Vanya nearly jumped in place as she let out a tiny shriek. She clutched her heart as her eyes landed on the second reflection.

"You really do have a knack of freaking me out. Huh, Five?" She questioned, calming her speeding heart.

Five chuckled softly as he stuffed his hands inside the pockets of his shorts. Guess somethings didn't change…

"Sorry. I just got worried since it's been almost an hour since you said that you were just going to pop into the bathroom to make sure your appearance would please dad." He shrugged, leaning against the door frame. His hands were inside the pockets of his shorts; forever his go-to habit.

Vanya smiled wanly; her gaze drifted to the side. She remained silent, causing this quizzical expression to appear on Five's face. Earlier, she had so much to say and now, nothing. Not a peep from her. Did he accidentally say something that could trigger her emotions to close again? Something that made her want to lock up her insecurities and worries?

If that was the case, then he needed to do something and quick. He had already left her alone once before. Alone with her thoughts and pain that their siblings and dad had caused. Drops of tears that had been shed because of them when they weren't worthy of them at all. Just the mere thought of her crying her eyes out caused this tightness in his chest. It felt that someone squeezed it here and there just for the laughs. It felt foreign to him as he never once experienced this with Dolores, his one and only companion of thirty years. With Dolores, he would kill for her as she had been the most important person to him. He had loved her for fuck's sake.

And yet…here was Vanya—right in front of him as she easily rekindled those dormant emotions of absolute love and adoration. Parts of him found it terrifying that Vanya would replace Dolores as his companion for life, but the other half didn't seem to mind it. If anything, that side welcomed it with open arms. For him to be able to hug someone and then have it returned, just the mere thought of it excited him deeply. His lips tingled from the thought of kissing someone and feel something soft.

All these scenarios – his mind conjured up – revved him up; excited him, and he couldn't wait until to start that journey—with Vanya.

And only Vanya…

Taking a cautious step towards her, Five closed the gap between their bodies. He stood behind her, analyzing her body language, before gently placing a warm hand on her shoulder.

"Look…I know that I haven't been a good brother to you, especially when we were this age the first time. I had only come to you when I needed something or someone but dismissed you when the whole wanting to time-travel preoccupied my mind. You needed to someone to talk, and I just ignored you until it was convenient for me to have you by my side. In short, I was and still am a little shit…" He sighed, uttering a quick prayer that she would at least allow him to be near her. They didn't have to talk about anything she wasn't ready to confess. He just wanted to remain by her side. "So, I would like to make it up to you. I don't know how yet, but I will make it up to you Vanya Hargreeves. After all, I…" He stopped, unsure if now would be the time to confess that he used to have a crush on her and that those dormant romantic feelings slowly surfaced again.

Vanya raised her brow, "You…?"

Five bit the inside of his cheek, "I just want to have that close bond with you again. That's all." He half-lied, forcing a tiny smile.

Vanya's mouth formed a tiny "o" as she nodded her head.

"Well, I hope we can be close again." She said as the two heard the breakfast bell ring again, except with more vigor.

Yup…

Reginald had become frustrated…

Great…

"We should go. We don't want to keep dear old dad waiting."

Now sitting at the famous dining table, the siblings stared at one another; tensions were at extremely high. Emotions were strong as every single one of them remember the shitty things their dad had done to them. From pitting them against each other to specialize training that left each Hargreeves child emotionally scarred.

They strongly desired to just kill him and then move on with their lives but unfortunately…they needed him around. While his methods were questionable, they brought results. Diego wouldn't had been able to throw multiple knives; all consistent in their speed and strength. Luther wouldn't had been able to learn self-control when it came to use super-strength. The young lad had lost count on how many times he had accidentally killed an assailant because of his strength. Reginald had reprimanded him countless of times when he clearly instructed Luther to only knock out the perpetrator.

So…they guessed they owe their advanced skills to Reginald…

"You may eat." Their dad granted permission as he picked up his own fork and knife. Soon, the siblings followed suit; all the time silently ate, remembering his rule about no talking during mealtimes. One of the many rules they did not miss whatsoever.

Vanya picked at her scrambled eggs, pushing it back and forth. Five and Ben noticed and gave each other a knowing glance.

Five, unafraid of Reginald, leaned slightly towards Vanya and whispered,

"Do you want something else? I can give you some of my fruit if that's what you want."

"I said, no talking during mealtimes!" Five heard Reginald shout, alarming the rest of the siblings. Their bodies tensed not because of how agitated he sounded but because of how Five would react. They knew he was already this ticking time bomb because of his "old" age, but it appeared to have worsen after learning Vanya would be the reason for apocalypse. They all knew that he had a crush on the violinist they called, "sister", when they were younger. Well…the first time they were teens…but anyway…

They weren't blind. While, he ignored all of them equally, there were moments where he had visited her and spend a few hours with her. It was clear that he enjoyed and preferred her company above anyone else when they were younger, and that statement still held true.

Even now, after everything that had occurred, Five would choose saving Vanya over everyone else. Which was quite funny to them as he was willing to kill her to save billions of people.

Love was truly a powerful emotion…

"Technically, I wasn't talking. I was whispering." Five argued, faking a smile, "And I just asking Vanya if she wanted my fruit since she doesn't seem to please to be eating her scrambled eggs." He kindly explained, oblivious to Vanya shaking her head. Fear glazed her eyes as she felt a familiar emotion. The same scared…frightened…terrified emotion that she felt the day Five ran out of the manor and disappeared for seventeen years.

She prayed – with all her heart – that he wouldn't leave again…

"And I thought I told all of you guys to not interact with her. She's just ordinary, and you all need to remain focus on your training." Now Reginald had angered all the siblings, mostly Allison, Klaus, and Diego. She was not ordinary. She had powers, but they had been suppressed because of Reginald's fear.

"We can talk and hang out with Vanya and still be able to focus on our training." Allison piped up, throwing in her support.

Reginald, shocked by another one of his children's outburst but quickly masked it, looked at each of them with a harsh glare.

"I will not have you guys disobeying the rules I have carefully placed for you. Now, this will be the last time we will discuss this. You are to not speak nor enjoy your sister's company ever. Do you understand me?" He ordered; his tone cold as ice.

Everyone, minus Five, hung their head low and uttered a quick, "yes, father". They obeyed their father quickly as – again – they didn't want to leave Vanya alone. Now, they just needed Five to follow Reginald's rules.

But knowing him…he wouldn't and would fight Reginald on it.

Fuck…

"No. I don't understand as to why you want us to separate ourselves from Vanya. So, the fuck what she's ordinary? Why should that call for us isolating her and pretending that she doesn't exist. What purpose does it serve?!" Five raised his voice as he stabbed his fork in the table; his jaw clenched. His eyes burned with rage.

"Enough! Breakfast is hereby over! You will all change into your training attire and meet me in the practice room at once!" Reginald yelled, ordering his little soldiers. Each siblings begrudgingly, apart from Five, stood up from their seats and headed towards their respective bedroom. Five, angrily shot up from his chair, causing it to topple over, and stomped over to his room practically seething.

Reginald glanced at Vanya, giving her a silent warning, before disappearing to his study.

Now alone at the table, Vanya let out a long, depressed sigh.

"Five…what are you doing…?" She questioned; her voice softened as a haunted expression graced her face.

Her worse fears were bound come true again…

She slowly stood up from her chair and quietly pushed it in. She shuffled her feet towards the foyer. Her mother, Grace, noticed Vanya's tired appearance and asked if she was okay.

Vanya forced a smile, "Yeah mom. I'm fine. I'm just not feeling well. That's all."

Grace, now alerted as her medical training feature activated, walked up to her daughter and pressed a hand against Vanya's forehead, feeling for any signs of a temperature. A faint hum escaped her lips as Grace patiently waited for the results. Then, a few seconds later, she removed her hand. Her internal software informed her that Vanya's body temperature was normal. No signs of the flu could be seen.

"Thankfully, you do not have a fever; however, I did notice that you hardly touched your plate. Would you like me to make you some porridge and pour you a nice glass of orange juice? I can bring it up to your room?"

"No, thank you, mom. Maybe I just need rest."

"Rest is indeed the perfect medicine for any ailing body, and if you can't go to sleep right away, might I recommend you playing your violin? I do know that it will bring you the utmost joy and relaxation."

Vanya smiled softly; she had forgotten how motherly Grace was during this time. A quality that Vanya had desperately missed when she was older.
"I'll think about it, mom..." Vanya muttered, though deep down, she wasn't going to touch it. Not after knowing what she had done to Allison with her beloved instrument. She couldn't even look at it without being bombarded by those horrific images of herself, as an adult, screaming at Allison before slitting her sister's throat. The image of the blood flowing out of Allison's neck haunted her dreams. How the actress' white blouse stained with red as she clutched her neck, hoping the pressure would help stop the blood.

Vanya almost vomited as she felt incredibly sick with herself.

She just couldn't escape the guilt…

"I'm going to my room now and lie down for a bit."

"Okay sweetie. I'll cook up some porridge and orange juice as your meal for lunch."

Meanwhile, back with the siblings, all of them eagerly awaited their father's arrival. Desperate to get this stupid practice over with. They had long forgotten how their father would pit them against each other. How he would emphasize that it was every man for themselves. It was all about survival of the fittest. Only the strongest would come out on top.

This was a competition, and whoever won would win Reginald's favor for the day. A feeling of pride that every one of them were starved for. They craved his approval. It was the only that kept them alive while they trained from sunrise to sundown.

They needed it…

"Nicely done, Five…" Allison quipped as she and Luther leaned against the wall while Five tied his shoes.

Five, rolled his eyes, standing up once his shoelaces were tied tightly. He quickly stretched his arms before answering Allison's snide comment.

"Like you could've done any better?" He snapped, giving her a scornful glare.

Allison scoffed, "Actually, I could've. After all, daddy dearest favors Luther, Diego, and I as we told the titles of Number One, Two, and Three. We are his top three soldiers, so I'm sure he would've listened to me about wanting to spend time with Vanya."

Now, it was Five's turn to scoff. Her argument was almost laughable in his book.

"Please. I have killed so many people more than all three of you guys combine," He turned his back towards her, "So, excuse me if I don't find you at all threatening to me." He waved her argument off as he stalked over to where Klaus and Ben were.

Shortly, Diego joined Allison and Luther as all three of them eyed Five strangely.

"Is it just me or has Five gotten a little antsier since we arrived back in 2002?" asked Diego, observing Five's tensed body language.

Allison snorted, "A little would be an understatement."

"He's really determined to fix Vanya, huh?" said Luther as the trio now watched the time-traveling assassin pace back and forth, while Klaus and Bend tried their hardest to soothe the boy's anger.

"Well, he's in love with her, so yeah. He's extremely determined to fix her and save the world from the apocalypse." Allison replied just as Reginald walked inside the room with Grace and Pogo trailing behind him.

"…ah well…keep me updated on Vanya's condition. I would like to not conduct races amongst her siblings on my own. She's vital to the training regimen as my assistant seeing how she doesn't have any special abilities that could contribute to the others." The siblings heard Reginald say in a hushed whisper. "But apparently, she can't even be a simple assistant…" He added, sighing as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

Each of the Hargreeves siblings' jaw tightened as their hands balled into a fist. This sudden urge to protect Vanya from their father's cruel words settled within the deepest depths of their heart. While, they themselves had endured Reginald's mental abuse, at least they had each other growing up. But Vanya? She had no one. Nobody she could share her burdens with. Nothing she could do to vent it out of her system.

Emptiness…

An endless hole of depressing thoughts that continued to consume her as she grown into adulthood.

But that was going to change…

They were a family. They would forever have each other's backs. Come in with an endless amount of support if one of them had their backs against the wall.

They would gladly give one another inner strength to keep pushing…to never give up…

"Children, time to practice!" Reginald instructed, having Pogo blow a whistle. The moment the children heard the whistle, they all sprung into action as if their bodies remembered what to do. Their faces etched with determination as this fiery passion surged throughout their veins.

Well…except for Five… of course…

He had other plans…

"Number Five! Why are you just standing there?! Start training like the others!" Reginald barked, already fed up with Five's defiance.

Five cocked his head to side as he clicked his tongue.

"Gee. I would love to, but I have someone to check up on." He said before activating his spatial jumping and disappearing from everyone's sight.

Reginald seethed, narrowing his eyes on the other siblings as if he silently told them to not even think about following their brother's footsteps.

Allison and the others all looked at each other with a knowing expression. They all unanimously agreed to visit Vanya before lunchtime.

"Children, focus!" They heard Reginald order; his voice already laced with anger and frustration.

He didn't need the rest of his kids defying him…

"You did this to me…? You knew that I had powers…!"

"No, no! I didn't really understand until I came today, until I saw it."

"Well, now it makes sense. This is why you never wanted me around."

"You couldn't risk me threatening your place in the house, your – your dominance."

"No. That is not true!"

"You couldn't handle the fact that dad might find me special!"

"You are special, with or without powers!"

"Don't – don't say that!"

Those words echoed throughout her dark mind. Vanya suddenly gasped for air as she swiftly sat up from her bed, clutching her chest. Tiny trickles of sweat cascaded down the sides of her face. Her heart pounded against her chest. Her breathing was sporadic—uncontrollable.

That specific moment repeated endlessly. That horrific image of Allison bleeding to death on the floor as Vanya sobbed, begging – pleading – for Allison to stay alive.

Slowly, tears pooled in the brim of her eyes as Vanya agonized over that memory, desperate for someone to relieve her from that punishment. Prayed that someone would make her forget that horrendous damage that she had caused to everyone and everything around her.

She was this ticking time bomb waiting to be set off…

She wanted to be free from all this heavy guilt that only suffocated her…

Vanya glanced around her quiet room, staring absentmindedly at the blank, dull ceiling. Tears cascaded down, landing on her pillow. Her hair sprawled all over the soft surface as she allowed the dark thoughts to consume her once more. Then, her eyes trailed down, eyeing her blanket as she grabbed it and pulled it over her head.

Only darkness greeted her…

Then, a knock penetrated her thoughts.

"Vanya?" called out the person, causing the distressed girl to uncover her head. Vanya eyed the door, wondering why Five would be right outside. He should be in his morning training session with the other siblings.

"Go away, Five…!" She shouted, wanting to be alone. But Five didn't take the hint. The second he heard that, he chuckled softly as he shook his head. Then, he teleported himself inside Vanya's room, not giving a damn whether she was decent or not.

She needed him, even if she – herself – didn't know it yet…

Five landed in the middle of the room but mostly close to Vanya's bed. The second he entered it, he heard something that he didn't even prepare for.

Vanya's tears…

Hearing tiny sniffles caused Five's heart to ache a little but of course, he easily masked it. He couldn't just lay his feelings out there quite yet…

"I know you teleported in here, Five. So kindly teleport yourself out of here." He heard her say through choked sobs.

Even while she cried, she still had enough spunk to make him smile.

"You have to try much harder than that if you want to get rid of me, Vanya." He stated as he took a seat on the edge of the bed but careful to not sit on any body parts.

Vanya made a noise as she slowly uncovered herself. Her empty stare penetrated his, observing this concern gaze that he dawned. Wait? Five showed genuine concern for her? That was highly unlikely…

"Honestly…what do you want, Five? I already said what I wanted to say to you."

"I don't believe that you did say everything that you wanted to say to me."

"Oh? Because you're so fucking smart and know everything about me?"

Five winced slightly. He deserved that because she was right. He didn't know everything about her. Not anymore at least… He didn't know the amount of times Vanya pleaded for him to come back. He didn't know the amount of time she had made him peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches. He especially didn't know that she had left the lights on for him, fearing that he would leave again because he couldn't find her and the rest of his dysfunctional family.

He…didn't…know…her…at…all…

But…

He would change that…

This was second chance.

Carefully, Five scooted closer to Vanya. His eyes burned with absolute adoration for her. He cared for her, so it was time that he showed it. Even if it was something small, it was good start.

"You're right. I don't know you at all but since we have a second chance, I would like to get to know you." His words slowly soothed away Vanya's sadness—or at least he hoped it would.

Vanya hesitated and confused. This was the second time he had mentioned something about getting to know her. And the way he looked at her made her feel something strange. It made her heart flutter just a little bit. It almost made her a loss for words since from her memory of the two of them growing up, Five was never this…caring to her. He smiled a tad more around her. His eyes would have these gleams in them. Oh, she couldn't forget about how attentive and protective he was this morning when Reginald prohibited them from talking and hanging out with her.

She had never seen Five so angry like that. He looked ready to take his butter knife and stab Reginald in the throat.

Like…

What had gotten into him…?

Just as Vanya opened her mouth to question Five's motives, allowing the curiosity to control her, the two heard a knock on the door. Like before, Vanya quickly granted whoever it was access. She got lucky yet again as the timing of the person saved her from being nosy and more than likely hurt Five's feelings as she would've questioned if he had ulterior motives or not.

Little did she know…he did… But it wasn't in a sense of him scheming. No. It was for something that would one day benefit them. He just hoped he wouldn't have to wait almost forty-fives years for that day to come…

Slowly, the door opened, revealing Allison, Luther, and the rest of the gang in their training attire still. The second Vanya saw Allison, the poor girl busted into tears again. The guilt still lingered enough for it to devour her whole; a contrast from when Vanya first saw Allison again.

"I'm so sorry, Allison! I didn't mean to!" The violinist cried.

"It's not your fault, Vanya. It was mine," Allison rushed over to Vanya and pulled her into a hug briefly, "I shouldn't have even thought to rumor you when you were in that state. I escalated the situation, and I hope you forgive me." She explained herself, reassuring Vanya and lifting off any guilt that she held onto.

Then, Luther stepped up, standing behind Allison. Forever protective of her.

"And me too…instead of locking you up and banning the others from opening the door up, I should've been more reasonable. It was because of you being alone with your inner demons that things turned out the way it did." He added, apologizing in his own way.

Klaus, noticing that the atmosphere was incredibly heavy and serious, said something to make everyone laugh but still shift the blame on to someone who was the reason for everything. Their father.

"Well, if you want to get technical, it was our dad's fault that we ended up being a bunch of screw ups. He emotionally manipulated all of us by making us believe that Vanya didn't harvest any powers and then banned us from coming into contact with her." Klaus gave everyone a knowing smile, causing the rest of the siblings to chuckle as they shake their head.

"Why don't we just blame dad for everything that goes wrong with our lives and call it a day." Diego grinned widely, chuckling here and there.

Klaus and the rest laughed at his statement just as they heard the bell, signaling them it was time for lunch.

One by one, they exited Vanya's room and just as Five walked out with Vanya next to him, Allison stopped him. He eyed her strangely as he raised a brow. He quickly asked her what she wanted as he flashed a reassuring smile at Vanya.

"I need to talk to you." Allison said with a serious expression.

Five nodded before telling Vanya to go ahead without him. Once she was out of earshot, Allison spoke again.

"I believe dad is suppressing her abilities with those pills, disguising them as vitamins or some stupid shit like that. I remember him asking me to rumor Vanya when we were four-years-old and just before I did that, I noticed her popping something in her mouth and downing it with water."

This look of complete and utter fury washed over the boy's face. It was bad enough that Reginald emotionally abused her, but to have Allison rumor Vanya and then have her take medicine to suppress her abilities just takes the fucking cake.

The more Five hears these revelations, the more he was glad that the old man was dead in 2019. He fucking deserved it…

"We need to get rid of those pills. That way, we can help Vanya learn how to control it and use it. The reason why she became so destructive was because her lack of self-control. She allowed it to control her." Five agreed, "Do you remember what the bottle looked like?"

Allison nodded, "Yeah but vaguely. I remember seeing an empty yellow bottle on the counter in Vanya's apartment."

"Good. Let's meet up after curfew and once the old man is asleep. I don't want Vanya taking these pills anymore."

"Agreed."

The two of them smiled at each other, pleased to know that they were on the same wavelength when it came to Vanya. And as Five moved to brush by Allison, she stopped him again.

"What?" He asked, raising a brow. He wanted to get some food in his stomach and make sure that Vanya actually ate something.

"Once this is all over…please take care of Vanya."

"You don't need to tell me twice…I will make sure that she doesn't grow up alone and starved for affection. She will know what genuine love actually is. Not that abusive bullshit that Harold pulled on her."

"Thank you, Five…"

Later that night, as the Hargreeves children finished getting ready for bed in their respective rooms, Vanya pulled back her covers and got underneath it. She put her hair in a ponytail and then remained sitting. She stared blankly at the comforter as her mind became flooded with those depressing thoughts. Vanya had genuinely thought that once she earned Allison's forgiveness, her guilt would vanish.

Apparently not…

"Goodnight Vanya…" She heard someone say softly, pulling her out of the dark storm that entered her mind. She looked up and saw Five leaning against her door frame.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Would you mind sleeping next to me? I'm afraid to be alone right now."

Five's eyes widened. His brows perked up. A faint reddish hue crept on his cheeks. Not even Dolores made him blush so easily.

"I don't mind. I'll pop in once the old man is asleep and I do my quick little errand." He smiled warmly at her, glancing quickly at the clock. He had two hours before he had to meet up with Allison to look for those damn pills that caused Vanya's powers to go haywire.

Vanya returned the smile, uttering a quick, "okay". She then pulled the covers over her as she laid down, welcoming the comforting feeling from her pillow.

Seeing her look finally relaxed and comfortable made Five less worried. Vanya looked exhausted and hardly ate anything during their mealtimes, so that alerted Five. He even came close to feeding her himself. That was how bad it was…

"Okay. Try to relax. I'll come join you in a few hours and then the two of us can get some much-needed shut eye."

"Alright, Five. And thank you. Honestly."

"You never have to thank me Vanya. I'll gladly do anything for you."

"Even murder?"

"Especially murder."

"You are so weird…"

A/N: I am back with a new update! Was it worth the wait? I kind of liked writing this chapter because I got the chance to dive more into the broken sibling bond between the Hargreeves and have them step into the right direction of mending it, especially when it comes to their relationship with Vanya. Also, can we highlight Vanya's guilt? I loved how Ellen Page portrayed how distressed Vanya was over it in episode 9 and how desperate she was to apologize to Allison, especially after seeing her alive but with a bandage over her neck. Oscar nominee worthy acting right there. I felt the desperation and wanting to make things right with Allison, so I'm excited to write more of that in later chapters as they slowly mend their dysfunctional relationship. Side note: kudos to Luther for apologizing and owning up to his mistake of locking Vanya up. I hope that actually happens in Season 2 (still waiting for that official confirmation as it is just rumors right now. Right now, it is rumored that filming for Season 2 will begin in May, but there is no official word from Netflix, so I don't fully believe it.).

Updates are every Saturday! And updates for I'm Your Music are whenever I finish the requests! Please be patient with me, especially those to who requested a little something something from me! I work during the weekdays and depending if I'm mentally drained or not, I'll at least start the request! :) Currently in the middle of request number 7 (?) and will more than likely finish it sometime this afternoon and publish tonight or tomorrow morning before I go to work! :)

Don't forget to hit that follow/favorite button and/or leave a review on your thoughts! I love hearing them! :)

- Kim