2
Bastila rose before dawn, ate something that resembled porridge from the mess hall, and then dressed for lessons. As she crossed the dojo compound with Dustil to their first lesson, she felt acutely uncomfortable. The pale gray uniform provided for her the night before consisted only of knee-length leggings that and a knit, sleeveless shirt cut so short that it could be considered hardly more than a bra. As the crisp morning air stung her skin, she was keenly aware of just how much skin she was baring. Dustil's uniform, like all the men she had seen the day before, was only the leggings. He looked equally uncomfortable. Bastila warily cast her eyes around at the others congregating towards the dojo, but none seemed to be paying her scanty outfit any sort of attention. If this really was what all the students wore, as it seemed to be, perhaps the Echani did not find baring this much skin to be sensational at all.
All the same, she was glad to be inside the narrow, confined halls of the dojo. She felt somewhat less vulnerable without the wind sending goosebumps up her arms and unprotected stomach.
Seeing the lean Chiss man from the day before duck into a practice room on their left ahead, Bastila followed him in. It occurred to her that their guided had mentioned nothing of where their first lesson would be, so she was glad to see his burst of blue skin and dark hair among all the white.
All but the Twi'lek woman were already assembled in the room, sprawled out and stretching on the floor, all deep in concentration. Without a word, Bastila and Dustil joined them and began to work through some familiar Jedi stretching routines. The Twi'lek arrived shortly after them and cast only a brief, curious look in their direction before settling onto the floor to stretch herself.
One by one, the four other students wrapped up their stretches and moved into a sitting position, facing the front of the room. Bastila followed their lead and sat back on her heels with her knees spread apart, back straight and chin high. Dustil quickly shifted into the line beside her and copied the posture just as they heard another set of footsteps at the back of the practice hall.
The instructor, Thaddis Fenni, strode briskly into the room and to the front. He turned to face them, holding his hands purposefully behind his back. "Good morning," he began, then casting his steely silver eyes over Bastila and Dustil added, "I see you have found your way to us, Vas." He broadened his attention to the whole of the class and announced, "As I am sure you have noticed, we have two new new additions to our class starting today, Shawn Va and her brother Dustin Va, of Coruscant. Before we begin, you should be familiar with your fellow classmates." He nodded to the brawny, blond human at the far left.
"Markl Taont of Corellia," the man said with a small bow in Dustil and Bastila's direction
The man beside him with jet black hair and olive-tanned skin added, "Ashen Yeng of Corellia."
On the other side of Bastila, the Chiss man introduced himself in a rumbling baritone, "Vedrik Mosth of Csilla."
"Merial'oan of Commenor," the green-skinned Twi'lek woman announced.
"Seeing as you observed some of our practice yesterday," Thaddis said crisply, "we will begin by testing you. I understand that you both have significant core-world martial training."
"Yes," Bastila replied, "We studied at the Eastern Coruscant Academy of Martial Arts since childhood."
"Interesting," Thaddis replied with a ghost of a smug smile. If he knew that they had training already, he undoubtedly knew just where they claimed to have been trained. "As at ECAMA, here at the Fenni Dojo, we train with a wide variety of weapons, and without. But what is far less important here is the weapon you use. Instead, it is how you use yourself and your opponent in battle. How you feel the battlefield and how you live in it. To that end, I invite both of you to select the weapon here that you are most comfortable with and we will begin your assessment." He gave a crisp nod of permission at the weapons cabinet along the side wall.
Both Bastila and Dustil rose and headed for the cabinet. Inside, hung on neat racks were a wide variety of hand-to-hand weapons, all blunted practice blades of wood or plasteel. Bastila selected a long, thin practice staff while Dustil picked out a light rapier. Bastila gave him a questioning look when she saw his left hand also empty. Catching her meaning, Dustil took a second, identical one. If he wanted to continue his training of duel wielding, he needed to establish early on that that was his preferred style of fighting, even if he was still better with just one weapon.
With their practice weapons in hand, they returned to the center of the floor, behind the line of the other four students. They all turned on the floor for a better view.
"Good," Thaddis nodded, with only dry approval, "Now take your places against each other."
Bastila stepped back away from Dustil and sunk into a ready position, the first step of Shii-cho. Dustil fell into mirror of her position across from her.
"Good," Thaddis repeated. He paced around them, assessing their forms, nodding slowly. Bastila tried not to flinch under his gaze, once again painfully aware of the minimal clothing she wore. Dustil looked equally uncomfortable. Thaddis strolled over to the weapons cabinet and retrieved a practice staff identical to Bastila's. "Dustin, you may sit down," he said dismissively.
With a questioning look at Bastila, Dustil obeyed, and returned to his place in the line. He set the two practice weapons gently on the wooden floor beside him. Thaddis strode around Bastila once more and fell into the first position of Shii-cho across from her, where Dustil had just been. He met her gaze with a self-assured smirk, holding the position.
What is he doing in a Jedi weapon's form? Do the Echani have a similar form, or is he just mimicking me, trying to lull me into a sense of familiarity? Bastila held her ground, but Thaddis neither attacked nor gave any indication to her to begin. She waited, staring back at him. All the while, his smirk never faded. Suddenly, she realized that he was waiting for her to make the first move, so she lashed out, abruptly switching into Makashi. Thaddis shifted his balance, and blocked her firmly. Bastila beveled her staff through a low under-hand strike, but was blocked again. The weight of each strike and the friction through the air caught Bastila off-balance and unprepared. It had been a very long time since she used a practice weapon with any kind of weight or drag in the blade. Already there was something already that she would have to relearn.
Bastila persisted with her attacks, dancing around him and whirling her weapon as fast as she could without Force assistance, but she could not lay any blows on Thaddis. He met each of her attacks with steady, measured blocks. In sheer muscle mass, he was far stronger than Bastila, and not a single one of her blows even rattled his defense. His tight abs and well-muscled arms and shoulder did not go unnoticed on Bastila. She knew that she must look like a weakling beside him. She ruefully realized how much Jedi used their strength through the Force as a substitute for bodily muscle strength. As a Jedi fighting without the Force, she was far weaker than she ever realized.
Bastila switched forms again, searching for a way around his defenses and trying to bait him into an attack, but he stubbornly remained on the defense. Nothing she could do seemed to rattle him. She poured even more of herself into the fight, determined to prove what she could do, but as even that produced nothing more than Thaddis shifting his weight and reaching farther to block better. She felt herself growing fatigued and weak, more than she ever had in a practice duel before. Bastila longed to open the channel between herself and the Force, but dared not to. She reached out to Thaddis with the Force, trying to discern some weakness in his stance or his temperament, but all she found was cool, calculated determination radiating off of him.
With a flurry of strikes, Bastila moved in closer to him, hoping to make him flinch back away from her. Instead, Thaddis lashed out, using his superior strength in close quarters, struck her staff so hard that rattled free of her hands and fell to the floor with a clatter. Continuing the powerful swing towards her head, Thaddis pulled up only at the last minute and tapped her skull just above her ear.
Bastila's arms shook as she held her position. For a moment, she almost reached out and Pulled her weapon back into her hands, but remembered just in time that this was no Jedi practice ring. Flinching and conflicted, Bastila waited for another barrage of attacks from Thaddis that never came.
Frowning, Thaddis stepped back and lowered his staff. "Disarmed of your weapon, you freeze," he said disapprovingly. "It is the sort of lack of creativity I expect from a student of ECAMA."
Bastila blushed angrily. He could not know the struggle that made her freeze. If she had all of her resources available to her, she would not have lost. Thaddis was good, but he was no Jedi. She was confident that she could have overtaken him with the Force. But she held her tongue, waiting for permission to sit.
"Shawn Va, I think you are here for the wrong reasons," Thaddis assessed with a deep frown, "You have little respect for or knowledge of the Echani techniques. You think yourself better than me, for whatever you are holding back. I will not have anyone holding anything back in this dojo. How do you expect to become a great fighter when putting only half of yourself forward? I don't know why you think enrolling in this dojo is a situation of convienience for you. You are focused too much on the future of where you will be when this is done and the past, those that you left behind and those that left you. Echani training is something that you cannot undertake with the weight of that baggage hanging off of you, or your own self-confidence blocking the necessary humility of a student. Neither will serve you well. Consider this."
"And how did my fighting perform as to your expectations?" Bastila asked shrewdly, her temper rising.
"Equal to what I expected," Thaddis replied coolly, "When I saw you yesterday, I expected nothing more than this. Do not think you can hide here, Shawn, that you can coast. You have far, far to go. Leave your concerns of your recent failures out of this, or you will never become a warrior of a caliber worthy of the Fenni Dojo. What hides in your past that weighs you down?"
"I came her to study weapons techniques," Bastila snapped, "Not for a psychological analysis. Stay out of my personal life. I am here to learn. Isn't that enough?"
"No, not for the Echani," Thaddis shot back, "A warrior in battle is the fullest expression of herself. What you just showed me was as weak and conflicted as a child of seven years old. Without a wholeness of consciousness, without an openness of self, I cannot teach you. What do you presume to escape from here?"
"I have had enough of this interview," Bastila shot back. She turned and stormed over to the weapons cabinet and all but tossed the weapon back onto its rack before storming out of the room entirely. Insufferable, superior known-it-all who does not know the meaning of personal boundaries of confidentiality. I should not have to put up with this. Bastila expected to be called back, but Thaddis let her go. She felt the power of his disapproving gaze on her back even long after she had left the dojo for her rooms. I will not put up with this.
Bastila stormed out of the practice building, across the grounds, and back to her room in the dormitory. She slammed the door behind her—more forcefully than she meant to—then threw herself face-down onto the bed. Tears of frustrating and embarrassment stung at the corners of her eyes. She felt like a youngling again, throwing a tantrum, and was mortified at that behavior all the same. She had not been able to control her emotions like the Jedi Knight she was.
Wallowing in her frustration on her bed, Bastila rolled over and stared at the ceiling. She felt utterly helpless. Here she was relying on Carth's connections, Carth's finances, and the goodness and hospitality of the Echani to keep her safe and hidden. If they threw her out, where else could she possibly go? This was the hiding place they needed.
Yet she still hated the idea that they had to be hiding at all. What kind of Jedi was she, running from danger and hiding until it blew over? She had been hunted before. She had been one of the most famous Jedi in the galaxy, only as a Padawan, and now she felt like a failure.
She felt utterly disconnected from the Jedi. Dustil was hardly any support. He was still reeling from the death of his friends and the guilt of having killed one of them with his own lightsaber. Although he would not speak of it much, Bastila sensed it in him nearly every waking hour. She hoped training would help take his mind off it some so that he could heal.
Though, sparring with Thaddis had only made her feel more cut-off from the Jedi. She could not use the Force or risk giving herself away. Having to learn to fight like a normal human made her feel even less like the Jedi she had spent nearly her entire life training to become. Willingly giving up her Force powers felt like giving up on the Jedi entirely. It was a fight to repress something that had become second-nature to her, a frustration she never expected her self-important Echani instructor to understand.
Bastila rolled back onto her side and curled into the fetal position, hugging her knees and crying. What kind of Jedi am I? I can't hardly fight. I can't keep my emotions under control. I can't do anything to bring back all of those dead younglings and apprentices or stop their killers. I can hardly hide without blowing our cover.
Bastila didn't realize that she had cried herself to sleep until knocking at her door startled her awake. "Bastila, are you in there?" Dustil's muffled voice called from the hallway.
"Yes, come in," she called groggily as she sat up, smoothing her hair and stretching her neck.
Dustil opened the door and stepped in, closing it again behind him.
"Is class over already?" Bastila asked apprehensively. "I must have dozed off."
"Morning session is," Dustil replied hesitantly. He seemed to be trying to measure Bastila's mood. "It's lunch time. Under Master Thaddis asked me to invite you to come back and join us, unless you had decided to quit already."
"Did he add that last bit himself?" Bastila asked dryly.
"Yes, but you made it pretty clear earlier that you didn't like his instruction," Dustil retorted sharply.
"How can I like it when his self-importance gets in the way of any real chance of learning?" Bastila demanded.
"Who is being self-important here?" Dustil shot back, drawing up to his full height over Bastila. "You're not a Jedi here. You're not Bastila Shan, one of the most famous Jedi in the galaxy any more. You're Shawn Va now, a normal human for Coruscant, here to learn from the masters because you can't get that kind of education anywhere else. You aren't important here. I'm not important here. We're just students. Under Master Thaddis, he's important. And since the Echani are our hosts and an Echani is our teacher, you should learn some Echani-style respect so you can actually show your appreciation for everything they are doing for us."
"Dustil—" she tried to interrupt defensively, standing up to face him.
"My dad pulled a lot of strings to get us here secretly and give us cover identities. I want to be here. I want to learn Echani style fighting so that I can be a better Jedi," Dustil continued undeterred, "Don't screw up that chance Dad gave us by getting us thrown out or by blowing our cover by going around acting like some important Jedi. And you know what? Thaddis is a good teacher if you actually stick around and listen to him."
"I shouldn't have to put up with that kind of condescension from an instructor, no matter who he is, no matter how good he is," Bastila argued.
"You're going to, if you want to stay here," Dustil retorted firmly, "I get the impression he's the only Echani here willing to teach outsiders like us. And if you stop acting like you're better than he is, he's hardly superior about it at all." He paused then asked, "So are you coming back or you aren't?"
Bastila sighed, "Fine. I will give him another chance."
"Good," Dustil sighed as well, "Let's grab something to eat before the afternoon session. I'm not going until dinner without any food. Days are really long here."
Bastila followed Dustil out of the dorm and to the dining hall where they downed a quick bowl of soup before returning to the sprawling dojo building for their afternoon lessons.
Thaddis was already there when they arrived. He nodded at Dustil and surveyed Bastila critically. "So you have decided to come back and join us after all, Shawn Va," he observed dryly.
Bastila mustered as much humility as she could bring her self to and bent into along, apologetic bow, "I am sorry for my behavior this morning, Under Master Thaddis Fenni."
He raised an eyebrow at her and turned away, without saying another word.
Bastila swallowed down and irritated comment. He could at least acknowledge my apology.
The lesson resumed when the two Corellians finally arrived, resuming from the morning's exercises. Bastila struggled to keep up with the practice forms, not even having had the chance to start them in the morning as Dustil had. Thaddis largely ignored her struggles, focusing his attention on Dustil and the other four students. Only occasionally during the lesson did he direct brief verbal suggestions in her direction while he made a point of physically adjusting Dustil's stances. Bastila felt her frustration building but she fought to keep it from showing.
After five hours of struggling alone, Bastila wondered if Thaddis was doing this on purpose to show her just how little she knew. If that was his goal, it was working, though she felt more humiliation than humility. She was endlessly relieved when the class came to a close with cool-down stretches. At least stretching is something I know how to do properly.
"This lesson is finished, you are all dismissed," Thaddis said coolly as they wrapped up their independent stretches. He turned his hard gaze on Bastila, "A word with you, Shawn."
"Yes sir," Bastila murmured and approached her instructor at the front of the class while the other five students departed. Dustil hung in the doorway for a moment, but a firm, suggestive look from Thaddis sent him on his way.
"Why are you here?" he asked dryly as soon as the others had gone, "As your brother's chaperon? You lack all the earnest dedication he has, and, dare I add, respect?"
"I am here to train, to broaden my skill set, to become a better warrior," Bastila replied.
"Not good enough," Thaddis replied with crisp intensity and took a step closer to her, daring her to flinch away from him to regain her personal space.
Bastila held her ground. "Not good enough?" Bastila demanded, "What is good enough for you then? A religious seeker wishing to become an Echani?"
"You really don't get it, Shawn," Thaddis shook his head in disgust, "To be accepted here, as an outsider, is an honor. You are training in the dojo of Raskta Fenni, the greatest Echani duelist of this age. To fight, to understand battle like the great duelists of Eshan, it takes a lifetime. It is not simply a set of forms to memorize and perfect. There is far more to it than that."
"All I see here so far is a sparring classroom like any other I have trained in," Bastila replied dryly, "Where does an outsider like me learn these other mysteries?"
"You do not see the finer points of Echani battle because you do not wish to see them, Shawn," Thaddis replied disgustedly, "And that makes you unworthy."
"Unworthy of what? Of your instruction?" Bastila shot back.
"Yes, among other things," Thaddis stared back at her coldly.
"Is this you casting me out of your class before the first day is even over?" Bastila asked.
"It could be," Thaddis replied, "But if it is, you are casting yourself out with your own self-determined unworthiness."
"I came here for a reason, and I am determined to stay. You can't throw me out already," Bastila's voice rose defiantly.
"Then you will need to prove yourself, Shawn Va," Thaddis replied dryly. He brushed by her and strode for the door, "Prove yourself worthy."
Fuming, Bastila took a few deep breaths to calm herself. She had not been so frustrated since when she first met Ev. A sigh of loneliness escaped her at that thought. At the time, she was sure that Ev was the most frustrating individual alive, but now, Ev was a dearer friend to her than almost anyone else in the galaxy, though she was still far away. She turned and headed for the door. Just how am I supposed to prove myself worthy to this self-important nephew-of-a-legend?
Lost in her thoughts, she nearly bumped into Thaddis, who still stood in the doorway. A lithe Echani woman with thick, wavy hair blocked his way out. "Thaddis Fenni," she said formally, "I challenge you to a duel, here this afternoon. Do you accept."
"Yvane Xeti, I accept your challenge," Thaddis replied stiffly, "But let it be here and now." Thaddis turned abruptly, almost bumping into Bastila himself as he returned into the room. Other than that momentary stumble, he completely ignored Bastila. The woman, Yvane followed him in, followed by a small crowd of spectators that must have shadowed her to her challenge.
I wonder what a duel between two accomplished Echani warriors looks like? Seeing as no one shooed her away, Bastila fell back near the door to watch.
Thaddis and Yvane moved to the center of the room, but neither took up any weapons, as if by some unsaid agreement. The other Echani created a wide crescent around them to watch.
As with Bastila's duel, Thaddis waited, steady as stone, for Yvane to make the first move. She stared him down, fire in her silvery eyes, and shifted her weight forward. Finally, she lunged, lashing out at him with both hands. Thaddis held his ground, meeting and deflecting her blows. Again and again, she kicked and struck, but Thaddis always blocked her with the same patience and precision as he had fought Bastila.
"Interesting," an Echani man murmured, appearing in the doorway beside Bastila, "And yet, expected."
"What do you mean?" Bastila asked before she realized that such a question might not be polite.
"You must be that new student of his," the man observed, measuring her up. Bastila did not like the way his tone suggested that he had already heard much about her. "Let me explain then."
"Please," Bastila urged politely, still keeping half of her attention on the duel.
"Yvane initiated this duel to prove herself to Thaddis, to display her skills, but also to show him how much she admires him, and wishes their relationship to move beyond its current boundaries," he explained, "Thaddis understands that, but is making it abundantly clear that he wants nothing more than the professional relationship that they have. He sees himself as superior and separate from her. Naturally, her frustration is coming out."
"May I ask how you divined this?" Bastila asked. It all looked like just one more challenge between two individuals who thought very highly of themselves and their skills.
"I am Echani, my dear, we read battle as the Selkath read the currents," he replied with a shadow of a smile, "But if you are to remain with us here, it is something you must learn as well." He paused, then explained, "See how Yvane throws all of her energy into her strikes, with bold, even wild, movements? In this, she expresses the extent of her passion and dedication to him. Thaddis's reply comes in his careful and calculated defense. He does not attack and thereby does not engage her into 'conversation' on the issue. He is denying her completely, while displaying his own superiority. That is only the surface, of course."
"Yes, I think I am beginning to understand," Bastila nodded slowly as she watched. Suddenly, Thaddis switched to the offensive, forcing Yvane to move backwards. In moments, he had kicked her feet out from under her, and she fell ungracefully to the wooden floor with a loud thudding smack. There was a light applause from the spectators. Bastila joined in half-heartedly. She was glad, at least, he had not disgraced her that badly in front of the class. Yvane would have a nasty set of bruises from this bout.
"And now he declares an end to her overtures. He will not accept them again," the man concluded.
"Thank you..." Bastila started, but realized that she did not know his name.
"Under Master Ean Praken," he supplied for her with a small formal bow.
"Thank you Under Master Ean Praken, for that explanation," Bastila said humbly, "I see that I do have much to learn." I wish I was studying under this Under Master. He already seems infinitely more patient than Thaddis.
"My pleasure, Shawn Va," he replied with a smile, emphasizing that he did indeed know something about her already. As the only human female in the dojo complex, it would not have been difficult for him to figure out who she was.
"You said that this was 'expected.' May I ask what you meant by that?" Bastila started, as the spectators began to break up their crescent around the duel and Yvane stood stiffly too her feet while Thaddis watched on with his arms crossed.
"Yvane is not the first, and will not be the last woman to throw herself at the accomplished nephew of Raskta Fenni," Ean explained, cracking a wry smile, "He may not be the heir of the dojo, but he has great influence here and is one of the best warriors this dojo has turned out. Women are drawn to that. However, Thaddis hates such women. He despises being seen for what he is, what position he holds, and who he is related to. Though he will not admit it, I suspect he would much rather pursue a woman than the other way around."
"Interesting," Bastila commented quietly. She did not know what else to say.
"Now, if you will excuse me, Shawn Va, I think it is time to extricate my friend from his admirers," Ean gave her a short, nodded bow and slipped off through the cluster of Echani towards Thaddis.
Bastila took that as her own cue to leave. She did not want to encounter Thaddis again any time soon, at least not before their next lesson.
Bastila caught up with Dustil at the dinner table, already seated with the other four outsiders from their class. Dinner was vegetables and some kind of wild game in watery broth, with a nondescript, stiff flat-bread to compliment it. It looked to be almost as tasteless as both breakfast and lunch had been.
"10So you join us at last Shawn," Vedrik Mosth, the Chiss man, commented dryly.
"I hope Thaddis didn't bruise you too badly," Markl laughed, slurping at his soup.
"No," Bastila replied, embarrassed already. She did not need these men prying into her own near failure, "He wanted to have a few words with me, and as I was leaving, another woman came and challenged him to a duel, so I stayed to watch."
"Again?" Merial'oan rolled her eyes, "When will they learn? I suppose this one went in thinking that she had something all of the others did not."
"Thaddis won," Bastila said.
"Of course he did," Merial'oan replied dryly, "Letting one of those girls win would be a sign of his agreeing with them."
"But you're okay, Shawn?" Dustil asked.
"Yes, fine," Bastila replied shortly, "It was just another lecture for me, that's all."
"Ha," Markl laughed, "Good job starting off on Thaddis's bad side. Has he threatened to kick you out of the dojo yet?"
Bastila did not answer, but pressed her lips together thoughtfully. "What brought you all here, to Eshan, to train?" she asked abruptly, remembering Thaddis's question.
"The Echani are the finest light-weaponry fighters in the galaxy," Vedrik answered decisively, "If I intended to continue my combat training, when there was there was no one left on Csilla to train me, I had to leave and seek out the greatest teachers in the galaxy. That quest brought me here."
Bastila nodded slowly. A man bent of self-improvement to become to best Chiss has ever seen.
"Ashen and I are both martial arts instructors back on Corellia," Markl explined.
"With high-profile clients," Ashen added.
"We figured spending a year here would be a good way to strengthen ourselves, learn new techniques, and give us an edge over the competition back on Corellia when we return," Markl finished.
"Practical and insightful," Bastila said approvingly. "What about you?" she turned to the Twi'lek woman.
Merial chuckled and tossed one lekku over her shoulder. "You don't really want to know, I think, Core Priss," she replied. "So let's just say that, for my line of work, it is an invaluable skill to be able to fight in a wide range of skills, with and without weapons, and be able to read your opponent's every move."
"Ah," Bastila repsonded. An assassin or bounty hunter, no doubt. None of them have spectacular reasons for being here. Why is Thaddis so critical of mine? She suspected that coming up with an answer for him was the first step towards earning her worthiness to study in his class. 'Because an Echani dojo is the perfect place to hide from Force-sucking assassins,' isn't going to cut it.
Author's Notes: I forgot to mention in a note in chapter 1 that this is a spin-off story from my primary series of epics following the KotOR games (Under the Shadow of the Builders, The Road to Rediscovery, and Echoes of War). Specifically, it follows directly after the events of Part 27 and Part 28 of 'The Road to Rediscovery' and will end when it joins up again with Echoes of War. While this story can mostly stand on its own, it does make reference to the events of the stories that preceded it. If you don't feel like reading the entirety of 'The Road to Rediscovery' but want some more back story, I recommend Parts 7, 23, 27, and 28 as key Bastila chapters. Parts 6 and 19 is also an important Dustil chapters.