I am Nyotalia!
Chapter 2
Disclaimer: Ack! I forgot this last chapter! I don't own Hetalia! Sadly...
Teen!Prussia and Kid!Germany: Cooking
Germany was having a bad day.
Not to say that her daily life was amazing or exciting or fun. She didn't have any friends her own age, not to mention the fact that since she was a nation, she couldn't ever hang out with humans, who would all grow old around her as she had everlasting youth.
But, Mein GOTT, it wasn't that hard to cook wurst and potatoes, was it?
Prussia, her older sister, could bake like hell! One dish she made was so good, Germany had tackled her and forced her to teach the recipe. The Prussian had later said that Germany could have just borrowed her cookbook 'Magdeburgisches Kochbuch' to get it.
But, besides that. Prussia used beer in all of her cooking, saying that it was the universal cooking tool. That being said, Germany was used to the taste of alcohol. So when she found out that Prussia had become inebriated whilst cooking them dinner, Germany was not surprised. She was pissed off, though.
Today had been an extremely boring day; first, she had gotten up and took an hour long shower, then she went into the library and read her sister's 'Books of Awesome' series. Which was simply a collection of diary entries she had kept since the 16th century. Needless to say, afterward, Germany found a wall to smack her little head into for an hour to try and get the word awesome from her head.
Then, she had smelt something burning. Running downstairs, Germany traced the smell to the kitchen. And stopped immediately after reaching it.
A giggling albino teen swung her legs back and forth on top of the kitchen counter, grinning at the large fire that once was their oven.
"Preußen," the child growled, barely containing her anger, "what. Happened?"
The Prussian in question looked over in drunken glee and tackled her younger sister in a drunk hug.
"Mein schwester is so CUTE!" Prussia squealed whilst snuggling closer to the blushing German.
"G-g-g-GET OFF OF ME, PRUSSIA!" Germany sputtered, flailing around madly. They were going to go down in flames and if they died, Germany was going to kill Prussia. Yes, Germany was so scared that she was being redundant!
Trying the stress-relief tactics Mr. Hungary had taught her, Germany grabbed the conveniently-placed pan off the floor and whacked her older sister in the face.
This caused Prussia to fly across the kitchen and into the wall in a comical manner, which would have left the German in tears if their kitchen WASN'T on fire at that moment.
"DAMMIT, Hungary! I di'nt rape your prissy Aust'ia!" the Prussian slurred. Germany resisted the urge to facepalm.
"Prussia... Schwester... How did you set half of the kitchen ON FIRE?" Germany screamed, having lost it mid-sentence.
The albino detached herself from the wall and scratched her head in confusion, "Well, I was making us beer-battered wurst and potatoes, but then I seemed to have ran out of beer, so I went into the beer cellar and got out another six pack, but I guess I put a bit too much on it-"
"DON'T YOU MEAN THAT YOU PUT TOO MUCH IN YOUR OWN MOUTH?" The younger sister screeched.
Prussia snorted, "That sounded dirty!"
3 buckets of water, 2 smoldering frying pans, and one knocked out Prussian later, the kitchen was spotless and Germany was cooking herself burnt wurst-potato stew.
Needless to say, Prussia wasn't allowed back in the kitchen for a LONG time.
Requested by: Alice Siegfried Eire
Teen!Prussia and Teen!Austria: Arguments
"Shut your face, you dumb Prussian! How DARE you do something like that to a proper lady like me!" Austria growled to the albino female across from him, who rolled her red orbs at this.
"Oh mein GOTT! You're such a stick in the mud! Austrian dork; always on that piano, never doing anything else!" The Prussian screamed back.
Austria scoffed, "At least I don't go around saying I'm 'awesome' every five minutes of the day! Unlike you, I have enough self-esteem and common sense to not do the stupid things that you do to get attention-"
"That's cold, priss!" Prussia glared harshly at her foe, "at least I'm strong, unlike little Miss. I-can't-even-carry-my-own-so-Switzy-has-to-fight-my-battles-"
"HEY!" a new voice rang out, "don't drag me into this! I'm neutral for this fight!" And thus began Switzerland's neutrality.
"Besides," Austria continued, "it's not as if you've never asked for help, Miss. Bad-Touch-Trio!"
"I'm too awesome to ask for help, Specs, something that a weak person like you HAS to do!" the Prussian snarled predatorily. She was the mighty Prussia, and was not about to be called weak by the stupid aristocrat!
The Austrian in question spoke in a softer voice, laced with hurt from Prussia's comment, "Friendship doesn't make you weak, Prussia. My friends make me stronger, like-"
"Like who?" Prussia sneered, still mad about the jab at her strength.
Austria looked down at her feet, "Like Hungary-"
"He's a loser-" Prussia stated.
"-And Switzerland-"
"I thought I said to keep me out of this-" an angry Swiss yelled, blushing profusely.
"-And, you, Prussia. You're my friend too, right?" Austria looked helpless and weak at that moment, not like the fair aristocrat she tried to come off as.
This left Prussia speechless for a moment, shocked that she herself had forgotten that although she didn't show it often, Austria still had feelings like any other person.
When Prussia snapped back to reality, she decided to change the topic, "What were we even fighting about anyways?"
Austria thought about it for a second, then chuckled, "I can't even remember!"
The two teens laughed for a minute, before Prussia faced Austria.
"Austria, you're my...friend, too... I guess," Prussia blushed deeply, turning her head to the side to hide her red face.
Stunned momentarily, Austria simply smiled softly and nodded.
"I'm still awesome, though! THE AWESOME PRUSSIA!" And, after pushing the Austrian aristocrat onto the ground, Prussia ran into the forest, laughing wildly.
"PRUSSIAAAAAA!" Oh, that's why they were fighting. Prussia was annoying as hell.
Prussia: Periodical (noun and adjective)
"Was zum Teufel IS this?" A shocked Prussian yelped from her spot at the dining table. The people around her shrugged out of politeness before returning to their meals.
"I think it's a newspaper, Miss. Prussia," whispered the timid Latvian from next to her. This earned him a smack on the arm from the other two Baltic states.
With a weak glare, Prussia replied, "I KNOW it's a newspaper. What I'm wondering is why in the name of Old Fritz I'M on the front cover! In a WET-TEE COMPETITION, no less!"
At this, all of the men in the room jumped out of their seats and struggled to get to the paper in Prussia's hands.
Shocked, Prussia stood on her chair and held the paper tightly above her head.
"SERIOUSLY, GUYS! Back up!" She yelled, kicking anyone who got too close for her comfort.
After one kick in particular, her chair was tipped over, and she fell into poor Latvia's small arms.
"OOF!"
"ACK!"
*CRACK!*
"Ow-ow-ow-ow..." Prussia muttered, rubbing her backside from her seat on top of the young, violet-eyed girl.
"Hey, Lithuania, do you think you could possibly drive me to the hospital? I'm pretty sure my arm isn't supposed to bend this way..." Latvia asked, her arms looking as if they could fall off at any moment.
"LATVIA!" Estonia shrieked, picking the little girl up and carrying her bride-style to their car, Lithuania in tow.
"I got the newspaper, guys!" Whooped a cheerful voice. Prussia stared in disbelief at the man who had broken someone's bones to get to the pictures.
"Fuck, Hungary, desperate much? You just incapacitated someone, and you didn't even bat an eye!" The albino yelled, angered by her frenime's harsh actions.
"Like, come ON, Prussia! Don't be so shy and let us see it!" Poland whined, stabbing a rather large piece of meat with her fork. Man, that girl sure acted like a man. If you squinted, you could mistake her as one.
"I'M NOT SHY!" Prussia roared in objection, "SHOW THEM THE FREAKIN' PICTURES, HUNGARY!"
Hungary smirked for a moment, but then stopped and thought, 'Is this really alright for me to do to Prussia? She was embarrassed about it, after all! I don't think I can do it...'
"Well?" Prussia's voice cut into Hungary's mental soliloquy like a knife, "are you gonna show them, or what?"
Hungary glanced once more at the newspaper in his hand, then, with a look of guilt on his face, handed it back to Prussia.
"I can't do that to you, Prussia," he whispered. Prussia stared at the Hungarian man for a minute before pushing the papers back into his hands.
"Show them the pictures, Hungary," she commanded him, ruby eyes piercing.
The Hungarian shook his head, "No, I'm not gonna-"
"SHOW THEM THE DAMN PICTURES!" Prussia shrieked, flipping the table across the room in blind rage.
Those still eating blinked a couple times as they processed what had just happened, a few still holding their forks and knifes in midair, as if they were still cutting their meat, which was currently residing on the wall. Then it set in.
3...
2...
1...
"Prussia!"
"My food!"
"What just happened?"
Many (female) nations spoke out against their food being assaulted, while only Germany sat rubbing the bridge of her nose to calm the coming headache.
The male nations (and Poland), on the other hand, could care less about their meal and would rather see one certain Prussian soaking wet on the front cover of the exclusively Prussian magazine.
The kinder males like Belgium and Ukraine restrained themselves, shooting an apologetic glance the albino girl's way.
The edgier males such as Seychelles and Belarus, on the other hand, leapt across the table to see the images; Belarus to compare Prussia to his older sister and Seychelles to use as blackmail later on.
Prussia looked at the extremely interesting wall and ceiling and anywhere other than the group of guys huddled in the corner of the room. She felt her face burn up, knowing it was useless to hide the blush on her fair skin tone.
"So, what do you guys think? I don't care if you laugh at me, so hit me with your best shot!" To emphasize her point, Prussia pounded her chest in a 'I-dare-you' sort of way.
Six heads turned around slowly to face the Prussian and then promptly nose-bled.
Prussia grimaced at the bloody mess on the floor that she would have to bleach later that day.
'Why does this happen every time I have people over? And who got these pictures, anyways?' thought Prussia as she looked at the pile of passed out men (and Poland).
...
"Do you think it worked, Amiga?" questioned a hushed voice. The woman in question looked to her Spanish friend and nodded, smirk planted on her face.
"Oui, mon ami!" answered France, "that'll teach her to mess with my Eiffel Tower! Ohonhonhon~!" The duo laughed, one out of success and the other out of cluelessness.
And thus concluded a normal meal with some of our European nations.
Prussia and France: Voice
"Kesesesese... She'll never know what hit her! I'm the ULTIMATE image of STEALTH! It's like one of those bond movies England always obsesses over! I mean, seriously, you get one good franchise and then you think you're the best! THERE'S NO MATCH FOR THE AWESOME PRUSSIA!"
Prussia shook the can in her hand before continuing to work.
"I wonder what she'll say... It'll probably be something like, 'Non! Mon Eiffel Torre! Boo-honhonhon!' That Frenchie won't know what hit her when she sees this!"
Prussia cackled at this, grabbing a different color and prancing around as she continued.
"I'm so AWESOME at impressions! I should try Spain now! Here goes nothing, 'Mi tomato is so cute! I could just eat you right up! IN BED! Fusososo~!' I got that one right, too! Kesesesese!"
Prussia walked backwards to get a better view of her masterpiece.
"Kesesesese! Done! I would call this my 'Piece de Triumph!' And she'll never know that the AWESOME PRUSSIA was the one who did it!"
Snickering, Prussia slipped away, not noticing the small tomato hidden behind the Eiffel.
Said tomato rolled down the tower and took itself back to its rightful owner, Spain, who was then able to watch the video footage.
"Thank goodness Japan made these tomato-cams for me! Now France and I will be able to get back at Prussia! Gracias, tomato-cam!"
...
In the morning, France was surprised to see a large tattoo on her chest, or, the Eiffel tower. After all, Paris is the heart of France!
She let out a high-pitched scream upon seeing the giant design on herself, first wondering if she had gotten drunk last night. When that was proven untrue by her lack of hangover, she feared someone had slipped something in her drink, but then remembered that she was the queen of slipping things into drinks, and would have noticed anything suspicious.
Then she noticed what her bosom said on it. It read, 'SUCK THE AWESOME, BIATCH!' with little yellow birds flying around it.
France growled under her breath. It had obviously been Prussia who had vandalized her Eiffel, and that same Prussia was going to pay.
Looking at the pictures she took at her annual wet-tee competition, she smirked to herself.
"You want to play dirty, non? Then let's play dirty."
Prussia and America: Coke (Coca Cola)
"Coke is the best soda EVER!" an exuberant American shouted in glee, skipping into the world meeting with glee.
"I don't see what's so good about a drink that always tastes the same, no matter what flavor. Plus, your Coca Cola causes zits! I'd much rather drink my awesome Fanta!" Prussia stated, feet sat atop the table.
America scoffed and glared at the Prussian girl in front of her.
"No, Fanta is MINE! You wouldn't even HAVE Fanta if not for what I did!"
"More like what you DIDN'T do!" Prussia scowled, "you didn't have to cut us off from supplies just because of politics!"
The blonde girl grumbled and crossed her arms, "Coke's still better, though..."
"IS NOT!" Prussia screamed in anger, "Fanta is the best!"
"Actually," spoke two new voices in unison, "our Nestlé-brand iced tea is the best!"
America and Prussia looked up from where they were arguing to see England arm in arm with Switzerland, both wearing similar smirks on their faces. Both girls stared jaw-dropped at the two blondes in front of them, who looked as if they were going to crack up at any moment.
"You two should close your mouths," sniggered England, twirling one of her pony tails on her finger, "bugs will fly in."
Switzerland chuckled for a minute before she added, "You guys look like fish out of water. What, you didn't remember Nestlé's superiority?"
Looking at each other, England and Switzerland cracked up laughing and walked away, leaving America and Prussia shell-shocked.
"What..." America started.
"Just..." added Prussia.
"Happened...?" the two finished together.
America got a gleam in her eyes and reached into her shirt, pulling out two mini cans of soda from who-knows-where.
"Want one?" She asked, displaying the Coca Cola label. The Prussian stared for a minute, then shrugged and grabbed the can from the American's hand.
"Wait," Prussia stopped, looking at the can in her hand, "did you have this in your bra?"
The American nodded and told her, "It really works!"
Prussia made a mental note of that and took a large gulp of the carbonated beverage.
...
Later, at the Beilschmidt residence, Germany grabbed a Coca Cola from the fridge. While walking back to her study, she peeked into Prussia's room.
"Ack! Why won't it fit? Just one more... There!"
Germany walked back to the kitchen and proceeded to dump out her Coke into the sink. Coca Cola was overrated anyways. Germany would much rather drink Sprite, anyways.
A/N: Wow, that was... Something.
Woot! One review! Thanks ya for following! Anyone else there? I wonder if everyone is reading Locked instead...?
Well, this has been a very Prussia-centric chapter! So, send me some more requests for cannon characters and I'll do them! Just ask, really! I don't own Coca Cola, either! I don't even have any in my fridge! *Sadness*
Translations:
'Magdeburgisches Kochbuch'= Apparently some ancient cookbook with a boatload of Prussian/German recipes! And like a real Prussian, all recipes I found related to Prussia had beer in them. Typical Prussia!
Mein Gott= My God
Preußen= Prussia
Mein Schwester= My Sister
Was zum Teufel= What the Hell
Non= No
Mon Eiffel Torre= (incorrect French for) My Eiffel Tower
'Piece de Triumph'= 'Piece of Triumph'
Coca Cola= Made by America as a medical remedy. He still doesn't understand colds, does he?
Fanta= Created by German Coca Cola manager during WW2; Made because the Allies cut off Coke ingredients.
Nestlé= An Anglo-Swiss company; owns rights to Nestéa brand.
Sprite= Created after Fanta.
Review for Latvia and her stabbing flower! Ah, children these days with their shivering and their stabbing with flowers-ing!