"I'm afraid I have some bad news to you, my friends… "Albus Dumbledore said, looking sadly at his comrades in arms, the ever-so-brave Order of the Phoenix. "It has come to my attention that the Dark Lord Voldemort has risen yet again."
Horrified silence greeted this announcement.
Ronald Weasley, eighteen-years-old member of the Order, snorted softly. "Big surprise", he muttered.
"Quiet", Sirius Black said and slapped Ron gently on the head.
Dumbledore glanced at them before continuing: "There is one thing we need to do before we can even think about defeating him. We need to find Harry Potter."
This time the silence was slightly brooding, until one impatient redhead yet again broke it. "How?" Ron asked sarcastically. "He's been long gone all these years… Do you even have a single clue as to where to find him?"
"Ron, you are starting to make me regret we let you join", his mother Molly Weasley said threateningly.
"Give it a brake, Molly, the boy has a point", Sirius interrupted.
"Do you have some clues we are yet to be informed of?" Remus Lupin asked politely, his eyebrow arched quizzically, his eyes staring unblinkingly at the aging Headmaster. "If you have, then please, do tell."
The Headmaster's eyes gained some of their old twinkle. "There is a strange place in East… I don't know what it is called, but it consists of several independent countries. The strongest of them are called the Five Shinobi Nations – "
"Shinobi?" Hermione Granger whispered. "Oh, I've read about them! They are also called 'ninja', am I correct?"
"Yes, that is true", Dumbledore confirmed, and Ron muttered: "Five points to Gryffindor!" earning a slap from Hermione and a glare from his mother.
"Anyhow", Dumbledore continued, eyeing Ron his eyebrows held high, "I've heard an odd rumour about that place… First of all that there is a major disturbance caused by a… ah, a some form of 'snake pervert' – "
At this point, Sirius and Ron promptly doubled over with laughter. Hermione and Lupin looked bewildered, and Molly Weasley made loud hushing sounds, trying to make the laughing men quiet down. "Excuse me?" Minerva McGonagall asked with a rather strained voice. "A snake… what?"
"Oh my god Albus", Sirius barked between his laughter, "Where on EARTH… did you EVER… get this information from?"
The Headmaster had the nerve to actually look sheepish. "Well… My informer is known for vague answers and rather colourful language… But it leads me to believe that Voldemort might have something to do with it."
The sound of the Dark Lord's name quieted down everyone else than Sirius, who was still sniggering softly.
"Also, I have been informed that under the command of this snake… person – ", Sirius started to laugh again, " – there are several runaway ninjas and a strange boy – no one really knows where he came from. I was told that this boy possesses a 'stick of miracles' that makes wishes came true."
He let his gaze slid over the members and smiled warmly. "Yes, it definitely fits the description of a wand. Besides, this boy is said to be a short teenager, who could be eighteen like Harry would be now."
"So, you want us to go chasing dreams, no do you?" Ron muttered.
"Ronald Weasley!" his mother screamed.
"Full of air, as always", Snape sneered. "Too afraid to go, so he says it can't be true. Must be a Weasley trait."
Ron and his father both blushed deeply. Ron had to defend his family honour, especially in front of Hermione. He had to make everyone see that the Weasley family was great. He jumped to his feet. "Now who's talking!" he shouted. "You just say that because you know you can't go! But I bet that if I go I'll beat the crap out of that stupid snake, be it you-know-who or not, while with my other hand I will solve the thing about the magic stick boy! So take that!"
"Ah, it seems like we have a volunteer", Dumbledore said cheerfully.
"Uh, what?" Ron blinked. Hermione groaned and buried her head in her hands.
"In that case, I will go too", Sirius said, his eyes gleaming almost scarily, "but only if our dear potions master joins us too."
Snape blinked. "But that is just ridiculous", he blurted.
"Sounds like a deal", Remus smiled. "I will go too to keep you from killing each other."
"Me too", Hermione said, standing up. "Someone has to make sure this group doesn't forget its purpose."
"But I just can't… Headmaster…"
"Severus, I'm sure that Voldemort also wants his fingers to this", Dumbledore said with a pleasant smile. "You can tell about this when you next visit him, can you not? I'm sure he'll understand…"
Snape sighed in defeat and looked at heavens for help. God, a trip with some blasted former Gryffindors. What could be more fun?
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"So", Hermione started briskly the moment they were out of the meeting, "who will be the leader of this group?"¨
Ron straightened his back. "I think, since I was the first to – "
Snape snorted. "Don't be ridiculous, Weasley", he snapped in his best I-am-your-evil-teacher-here-to-tell-you-you-know-nothing voice. "You being the leader would be the doom of this trip."
"Snivellus, this is scary but I actually agree with you". Sirius said, looking puzzled. "Unbelievable."
Snape looked like he was going to snap back, not to mention what Ron looked like, so Hermione stepped in again. "I think that professor Lupin would be the best choice, don't you agree?"
After a moment's silence, Snape spoke: "Well, it could work out relatively well. I guess in that case I will have to prepare some Wolfsbane potion to our dear leader."
Ron still looked rather grumpy. "And what, pray tell, are we going to do when Lupin is A FREAKING WOLF? Who is going to lead the group then?"
Snape looked humourlessly at him. "I'm sure he'll still be more useful than you would."
Sirius smirked. "Yes, he can guide us with the cute waggling of his tail…"
"Suddenly I'm starting to have second thoughts about this… "Lupin muttered.
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In the meantime, the newly risen Lord Voldemort, who was mistakenly thought to be behind the happening in East, was… slightly confused. There was no Harry Potter to be seen, no Order to battle, and the wizarding world was surprisingly quiet about his return. It was as though he could walk in the bright daylight to the nearest shop to buy some butterbeer and only be told to have a nice day and come again.
Like, really. What WAS the Order doing? Where they trying to give the country to him nicely wrapped in brown paper?
It smelled like a trap.
"Wormtail", he hissed. "Get Snape here, at once."
When Snape arrived, the spy had a very peculiar expression on his face. It was easy to tell that he was frustrated about something. And when the Dark Lord heard his story… well, if he had been anyone else but the terribly cool dark heir of Slytherin, he would have a. gaped or b. laughed. Since he wasn't, the only thing he could do was to crucio Snape a bit, and when he still insisted on the same story, to finally believe him.
So Dumbledore was chasing after a dream, now was he?
For all he cared, Harry Potter – if he was alive, that is – was a dead man walking. This way Lord Voldemort could not have the pleasure of killing him himself, but oh well… this could work out just as well. His thin lips curved into a twisted smirk, and he turned his red eyes at the shivering potions master. "Severus", he hissed. "I have some plans for you…"
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A/N: That's right everyone, Sirius Black is back! Or actually, besides from spending some time in Azkaban, he was never gone. I'm still working on the details, though, but yes, Wormtail was involved and unfortunately walked out of it alive. Sorry, I was just too lazy to invent another stupid pawn for Voldemort to use. But as you may have noticed, things didn't go as smoothly as in the books despite the fact that Harry was no longer bothering the Dark Lord in his quest for eternal life and world dominance. It took Voldemort four years longer to regain his body. Gosh, I'm so cruel to him. Poor Tom.