Authors notes: song inspiration for this chapter was Anywhere by Evanescence. Found on YT at /watch?v=BcNpKeEu9Yc
"Uncle Carver's here! Uncle Carver's here!" Gavin exclaimed, jumping up and down. Anders looked through the window as he stood in the kitchen of his humble home, and there in plain sight was his brother-in-law and his new wife. Hawke hurriedly dried her hands off from washing the dishes, and ran out the door to meet her brother, Gavin trailing behind.
"Uncle Carver!" the little boy yelled, as Carver knelt down to give his nephew a big hug. He scooped him up in his arms, squeezing him tightly.
"Do the bear hug, Uncle Carver!" Gavin squealed, as Carver began to shake him side to side in his arms, mocking a bear's growl as he did so. He giggled loudly, as Merrill laughed beside him.
"Hello, Da'len."
"Hi, Auntie Mewwill."
"We went over this Gavin," Hawke said gently. "Merrill." she said, accenting the 'r' sound.
"Mewwill!" he exclaimed.
"It's close enough." Carver said with a huge smile. Gavin stretched his arms out to the elven woman, and she took him in her arms.
"By the Dread Wolf, how you've grown! I remember when you were just a babe in your mother's arms."
"I'm a big boy now." he said, with a proud look on his face.
"That you are." Carver said, carrying two bags into the small farm house.
"Shall I show you to your room?" Anders asked and Carver shrugged him away.
"I remember where it is. Thanks." he answered coldly. Anders accepted long ago that Carver would never like him. They were on rocky terms before, but Carver would never forgive him after what happened in Kirkwall. He couldn't blame him. In the flash of an eye, he forever changed Hawke's life. He had not expected her forgiveness, but when she granted it to him, he vowed he would spend the rest of his waking moments cherishing her. Once Carver and Merrill unpacked, they all gathered together in the small dining area where Hawke prepared a simple meal of salad and potatoes from the field.
"Sorry it's not much." she said modestly.
"Oh no, Hawke! It looks just lovely." Merrill answered, smiling as her husband held her hand.
"How was the wedding?" Hawke asked, passing the salad bowl to her brother.
"It was simple. Sort of like yours."
The Chantry still didn't permit mages to officially marry. There were very few circumstances where it would be allowed. The mage in questioning would need to be granted permission by a Grand Cleric or someone with higher power. So, Carver and Merrill settled on a small wedding between close friends just as Hawke and Anders had. In the eyes of the Maker and those who followed the Chantry law, they may not have been officially married, but their love was all that mattered.
"I wish we could have been there." Hawke said with a sad smile. It pained Anders to see her like this. Every time she had that distant look in her eyes, he could not help but feel immensely guilty, for not giving her the life she deserved. She gave up her very freedom to stay at his side. He tried his best to please her. He even allowed Fenris to stay with them for nearly a week, a few years prior. Perhaps allow wasn't the right term, he thought to himself. When Hawke had initially brought it up, Anders didn't like it one bit. It was one of their bigger fights. Hawke screamed at him, and scolded him for not letting the past stay there.
"I gave up everything for you! At least grant me this." she had said. It tore at his heart, so he couldn't refuse. The visit wasn't nearly as unpleasant as he thought it would be. He even was able to play a few practical jokes on the elf. From under the table Anders gave her hand a gentle squeeze, and she squeezed his back, giving him a soft smile.
"You would have had so much fun! Isabela and Varric were there. Isabela looks exactly the same. Oh but I'm sure you already know that. She lives close by, doesn't she?" Merrill wondered aloud.
"Most of the time. You know how in love with the sea she is. She never stays long."
"Is that the nice lady said she hopes when I grow up I'll have Daddy's family jewels?" Gavin asked curiously. Carver coughed on the food he was about to swallow, and Merrill patted him on the back. Anders just laughed and Hawke blushed profusely.
"Still the same girl." Carver said when he finally managed to catch his breath.
"Daddy, can I have your jewels? Please. I promise I'll take good care of them."
"No, son." Anders laughed, his cheeks flushing pink.
"But why not?" Merrill asked, and Carver groaned. "Oh, I missed something dirty again, didn't I?"
After dinner was cleared, Hawke and Anders put Gavin to bed. He cried, wanting to stay up with his Uncle and Aunt, but they assured him they would still be there in the morning. Hawke lay with him in his small bed stroking his blonde hair. Anders sat on the edge, watching as his beautiful wife read a story to their son. It was the picture of perfection. Anders never would have imagined to find a woman who would love him, let alone bear his child. He thought fondly back to when they discovered she was pregnant.
It had been six months that they had been on the run when Anders and Hawke decided to make their home in Afsaana. It was far away from both Ferelden and Kirkwall, the two places they were the most likely to be recognised. Isabela pulled in a few favors, and they were able to buy an abandoned farmhouse with the last of their coin.
They worked on the place for well over a month before it was presentable. There were countless holes in the roof, weeds all across their land, and not a single room in the small farmhouse was liveable. They were just about finished after slaving away for countless hours.
The last of the repairs was in one of the spare rooms. Anders and Hawke were fixing one of the floorboards. He turned around to grab an extra nail when he heard Hawke cry out in pain, a slew of curses leaving her mouth. She accidentally struck her thumb with the hammer, and was bleeding all over the floor.
"Love! Are you alright?" He came over to her side, taking her swollen hand in his. "Let me heal you."
Hawke sucked in air between her teeth from the pain, as Anders applied some healing to her. His energy surged through her, closing the wound. As it began to close, his heart caught in his chest, as he discovered something he had not thought he would find. At first, it was a little fluttering movement, coming from within her. And then...a heartbeat. Just like the one when Hawke asked him to examine her when she was pregnant with little Malcolm.
A few years ago, when she was with child, Anders knew in his heart it probably wasn't his. She had been with Fenris so soon before they fell into bed with one another. That, and the taint from being a Warden made it difficult for him to produce children on his own. He hadn't cared then. The thought of raising a baby with Hawke was all that mattered. When the baby passed on, a part of Anders died with it.
Once they were married, Hawke wanted to try again, and he hadn't the heart to tell her it would probably be a near impossible task. He remained quiet, until Justice decided it would be a distraction. So, the two of them gave up on the dream of having a family together, and he lost himself to the spirit. Now that it was really happening, and it was his own flesh and blood, Anders couldn't help but smile from ear to ear.
"What on earth is that goofy grin all about? Not like you haven't healed me before." she asked.
Anders cupped her face and began to kiss her passionately. His tongue swept over hers and she sighed softly into his mouth.
"Oh sweetheart. I hope you don't have plans for this room, because I think it will be perfect for our baby."
"You want to try for a child again?"
"Try? I don't need to. You're pregnant."
"What? Come again?" she asked, in complete disbelief.
"I said you're pregnant. We're going to have a baby."
It took another moment for the information to sink in, and without warning she tackled Anders to the ground, covering him in kisses. They both laughed and cried while their lips clasped with one another. The first time either one of them actually laughed since Kirkwall. They made love, right on the unfinished floor. It was one of the happiest nights in Anders' life.
The baby came a month early. Anders was incredibly thankful that he was an experienced healer, because Hawke's labor was not an easy one. It was two days since her contractions started, and she had been pushing for nearly three hours. Tears began to fall down her face as she wailed out in frustration.
"Oh bloody Maker, I can't do this!"
"Marian, listen to me. I know it hurts but.."
"You don't know a damn thing about pain!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. In Anders' experience in delivering babies, it was very common for women to lose their temper. But when it was Hawke, Anders found himself a little frightened for his manhood.
"Deep breaths. You can start pushing again with the next contraction."
It was another hour before Gavin was born. He came out bloody and screaming. After a moment, his screams stopped, and he looked at Anders with awe. They stared into each others eyes, and at that moment, Anders was in love.
"Is the baby alright?" Hawke asked with concern for her new child. It was only natural, given that she had lost one before.
"He's perfect." Anders beamed, his eyes filled with tears.
"It's a boy?" she asked, her voice quivering with emotion. Anders nodded, and placed the baby in her arms. She beamed, her cheeks wet with tears.
"Hello, my handsome boy. Welcome to the world." Hawke glanced over to her husband, who was proudly standing at her side. "Still like the name Gavin?"
"It does mean little hawk. A perfect souvenir of our former lives."
"Gavin it is."
"Anders?" Hawke's voice broke him out of his daydream. He looked over to see Gavin passed out across his bed. Anders leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the forehead, before the two of them made their way to the living room to join Merrill and Carver in a few drinks before turning in.
Anders sank into bed beside Hawke, and pulled her close to his chest. He ran his fingers through her dark locks, before cupping her face with his calloused hands.
"I love you. You know that, don't you?"
"Of course I do. Is something the matter?"
"It's just...seeing your brother here has reminded me of how much you gave up for me. I do not deserve your affection."
"Anders, it's been five years. I've long since forgiven you. I thought you knew that by now."
"I only wish there was some way for me to repay you."
"You've given me a child. You two are my world. We could be anywhere, and I would be content."
Anders smiled, as he climbed atop of her, kissing her neck gently, just where she liked it. Hawke let out a quiet gasp. "Then allow me to find other ways that will appeal to you since my gravelling just will not do." Anders pushed his hardness in between her legs, rubbing himself against her.
"But...we have company over." she sighed, her arousal apparent in her voice.
"Years of having a child have given us much practise in the arts of quiet lovemaking, dear." She smiled up at him, and Anders lowered his face to hers, capturing her lips. His hands began to unbutton her nightgown, exposing her luscious breasts to the air. He took one in his mouth, as the other hand trailed down, pulling her smalls down her legs. His fingers found her already damp, as he sunk two of his digits into her. Hawke groaned quietly. Anders kissed his way down her body, taking his time to lick and blow on her skin, making Hawke shudder with anticipation. He especially lavished the skin just above where her curls started. She groaned, and fisted his blonde locks.
"Anders, please. You're torturing me." she whined. Anders chuckled, and wasted no more time. He dove into her essence, his tongue lapping at her swollen nub. His tongue massaged her, lapping at her gently which caused Hawke to squirm under him. Her arms thrashed on the bed, and she curled her fingers around the sheets. Anders looked up into her eyes as he continued to lick her. She was biting her lip hard, trying to stifle her moans. Maker, he loved looking at her when he pleasured her. He was throbbing in his smallclothes, desperately wanting to seek his own release, but he refused to indulge himself until he gave her relief first.
He moved two of his fingers in and out of her tight center, curling them ever so slightly, as he massaged that spot inside her that made her drench him. She began to shake rapidly under his ministrations, and with a few more precise licks, the floodgates opened. Hawke cried out softly as her climax ripped through her body, her inner walls gripping at his invading fingers. When she began to come down from the high, she gently pushed Anders' face away, her clit too sensitive for any more attention.
"I think you deserve some attention of your own." she smiled, and pushed Anders to his back. Hawke grabbed his small clothes, and pulled them off. His throbbing erection bounced free, and she captured it with her skilled mouth, not teasing him the way he had teased her. Her head began to bob up and down on his member, and he let out a deep sigh of relief.
"Oh, you never fail at pleasing, love." he groaned. She began to hum on his erection causing him to buck up into her. Her mouth was so wet and willing, he held her still as he made shallow thrusts into her which she gladly accepted, moaning all the while.
"I need you, Marian." He said in a wanton voice, which was a demand more than a plea. She climbed into his lap, leading his erection into her. They sighed out in unison, and she began to bounce up and down on him. Anders grabbed her hips, lifting his own to meet her thrusts halfway. She was so tight, even after motherhood had claimed her body. Anders pulled her down, and he began to kiss her feverishly. His arms wrapped around her back holding her against his chest, as he took over. He pumped in and out of her entrance, feeling the tension build within him. He knew soon his release would take over, so he snaked a hand down to her clit, unleashing a jolt of electricity throughout her. She whimpered loudly, immediately climaxing. The sound of her cries mixed with the feeling of his own magic squeezing around him drove him over the edge. Warm jets of semen coated her insides, as he softly moaned her name.
"Maker, you never fail to please a girl, do you?" Hawke chuckled, dismounted herself from him. She curled up beside him, laying her head on his chest as he was still desperately trying to catch his breath.
"Well, I do try." he chuckled, planting a soft his on her forehead.
"I love you, Anders."
"I love you too, sweetheart." Anders closed his eyes, the sound of her shallow breathing his lullabye. Soon, he was fast asleep.