Author's Note: I wish there would have been at least one review before this, but oh well, I hope those of you who are reading this are enjoying it! Please feel free to leave a comment or critique!
The first time he kissed her, he was on one knee with a thin gold band in hand.
She fell into his arms with a happy cry, and he pulled her back just enough to find her lips with his own.
It was sloppy and rushed, but he was sure he had never had a better kiss in his long life. It quickly became a deeper kiss, with her small hands threading through his short hair while he dragged his coarse hands through her silky gold tresses.
He dropped the ring at some point, but he really didn't care. They were in their meadow, where they met, and no one was around to steal it or interrupt them. He was too lost in her; his eyes closed and his non-human heart bursting with love.
They broke apart minutes later, Catriona gasping for air. She gave him one of her real smiles.
She was missing a tooth, and two others were chipped. It embarrassed her to show them, which led to her rarely smiling all. It made him happier to be alive just to know he got her to smile with teeth.
There was a part of him that had to remind him she was just a distraction. The part of him that was the monster and used to rule his life liked to remind him that she was just going to die. He did his best to ignore it.
In all the ways that counted, he had become human. He settled down close to their little meadow, building a house and getting a job.
He met her father, and her brothers. He met her best friend, Grace Porter, and he endured church every Sunday. He integrated himself into every part of her life she welcomed him to, and familiarized himself with everything about her.
She knew what he was; he didn't hide anything from her.
His favorite thing to do was to lie under a tree on their Sunday afternoons, his head in her lap while she stroked his hair and read to him.
She loved to read, his little spit fire, and she owned a number of well-loved and worn books.
He just loved to listen to her speak. Her voice was as soothing as everything else about her. She made him human and kept him that way.
He slipped the ring on her left ring finger and wiped the tears of joy from her face with his thumb.
She was so fragile, so soft and gentle to him.
They climbed to their feet, helping each other up.
He had it all planned. His cabin was big enough for the two of them, and he had enough money saved up to be sure they made it for the next year at least.
In the year and a half after they met, Catriona had decided she wanted to be a schoolteacher, among other things.
She was given the position a year ago, holding classes four days a week in the little church she attended.
The tiny town they lived near had several clusters of farmers and ranchers that hailed to it, and their children came to his girl's school as well. She was happy there, working with the children.
It pained him to know he could not give her children of her own, and she knew it. But she didn't hold it against him. It hurt her, he could tell, but she didn't blame him or love him any less.
He held her close for a while, burying his nose in her hair and trying to ignore the growing desire for her.
She was a Christian woman, raised semi-Catholic, and she held fast to her raising. They would wait until their wedding night, and he loved her and respected her too much not to wait for her.
They walked back to their horses slowly, just spending time together after their picnic and his formal proposal.
"I was thinking we should wait to get married until May," she said, playing with her hair.
He winced slightly, May was months away and it would be torture to wait now that he was closer than ever. Thinking quickly, he tried a closer date, "How about your mother's birthday?"
He knew she wanted May because it was her parent's anniversary month. He hoped having it mid March instead would be acceptable.
She thought about it for a while, chewing on her lip. It was her thinking tick. He was pleased with himself whenever he could decipher her thoughts and feelings by her ticks.
She smiled slowly, a faint blush building on her cheeks, "March sounds good."
Four and a half weeks later, they were married in the little church. It was the best day of his life.
As he carried her across the threshold of their house, miles away from any other human, he finally felt at home.
The next morning, he woke up to the sun tickling his nose, and long blonde hair tickling his bare chest. He felt like laughing; he was so full of good feelings. Not even the monster side of him could dampen his mood.
He looked over at his wife…his wife!...and smiled, studying her peaceful sleeping face. She was so beautiful, and he loved her so much. He had been wrong the day before; this was the best day of his life.
They lived that way for a few months. But then the dreams started.
He had had bad dreams before, when he traveled about alone. They would sometimes precede the hunger, the need to burn.
So when they returned after their two and a half year absence, he was scared. As a phoenix, he had never feared hunters or other monsters. They could not kill him when they tried.
But as a husband, he was terrified. He might kill his wife one night in his sleep before he could stop himself.
He was a monster, something that belonged in the dark. He didn't deserve Catriona, and he would only hurt her. She deserved so much more then him.
She, of course, knew what his dreams meant, but she insisted that he would not kill her. Her faith in him was touching, but it made him feel all the worse about himself. His young human wife blindly loved him even when he was a threat to her very life. He didn't have any faith in himself.
He thought about leaving, and twice, he almost did.
When the hunger came the strongest, he could suppress it long enough to escape Catriona's arms and flee into the woods, preying on whatever game he found first.
It wasn't much, but it was enough for the years they were married. The hunger didn't plague him every year, but he was always paranoid about it.
Five years, and his twenty-five year old wife was still teaching. Married women were never teachers, wrapped up in housework and children. She didn't have any children however, and the housework was split between the two of them. She didn't complain, and despite his worries and hunger, they were happy.
He was just finishing brushing down his own horse when she arrived home from the school.
He could tell by the way she moved and picked at her blue dress that there was something important she had to say.
"Is something wrong," he asked right away, helping her take care of her horse.
She laughed nervously and shook her head, biting her lip. He knew then whatever she had to say, she thought it was a subject he wouldn't like.
He scrunched his eyebrows, wondering what it could possibly be about.
"I know what you said about children," she began, and for one terrible moment, he actually thought she was going to say that she was pregnant. Whatever baby he could ever father would not be human. More than likely, it would kill her before it was born. (1)
But he needn't have worried, because in the next breathe she said, "Well, the thing is, there are two orphans that need a home. I want us to adopt them."
He wanted to laugh, but he restrained himself. Keeping his face neutral he asked, "Do you really think that's such a good idea?"
She rolled her eyes, her defiant spirit flaring to brilliant life, "You haven't hurt me and you won't hurt them. You'll make a great father, I can tell. They're both boys; the oldest is three years old and his brother is almost seven months old. Their mother died in house fire a month ago, and their father died yesterday in an accident in town. They are staying with the reverend for now, but he and his wife are too old to care for such young children." (2)
She pleaded with her honey brown eyes, and he melted, "I guess it won't hurt to try it out for a few weeks. If it's okay, we'll keep them."
She pouted her lower lip, and she had him where she wanted. With a heavy and uncertain sigh he promised her, "We'll go into town tomorrow and settle the adoption. We should do our shopping and banking while we're there too."
Giving him her best smile, he started to think giving her those children was the right choice. The boys were very young; he had time to learn how to be a father before he had a chance to it mess up too much.
He had been able to conquer his hunger and protect Catriona. He would be able to do the same for those boys.
"What are their names," he asked, spinning her around like they were dancing.
Giggling and laughing, she answered, "The oldest is Sampson and the younger is Charles. I want to call them Sammy and Charlie for short."
"Sounds good to me," he said, genuinely meaning it.
Never in all of his many years did he expect to be a husband and a father. It just wasn't something a monster got to have. It wasn't something a monster deserved.
Yet here he was, with Catriona on his arm laughing and smiling, promising him a family with those little orphans.
He was starting to love the idea of a family with her.
But still, even in all of his joy and happiness of the moment, there was a nagging little voice in the back of his mind. In the back of his mind, in a deep dark recess, the monster he truly was resided. It loved to remind him of how short the time would be with her and this family she spoke of.
All three of them were human; he was going to watch all of them die and keep on living.
But he shoved back at the voice and focused on his present. He focused on the most beautiful, strong, and loving woman on the earth. He would not waste the precious little time together they had.
At least she and the boys would be alive for years to come. He could focus on that.
Additional Note: 1. No, that was not a Twilight reference. I didn't even realize it sounded that way until now. 2. I didn't plan this at first, but you know what, I think I'm going to make little Charlie one of Azazel's special children. He did say there were other generations, and the boys' mom died in a house fire when Charlie was six months. Fits enough for me. Yellow-Eyes is not in this story though, and as you'll see later, whether or not Charlie is a special child will not effect the story. Who knows though, I might use these two kids in another, unrelated, story some day.
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