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I always feel that whatever I put to paper isn't enough, I strive for more, always. But I never really get feedback for any of it and It leaves me very insecure that I might be a bad writer.
So please comment, even if it isn't positive. All I want is feedback and what I could do to improve the existing narrative of the story. Thank you for your time.
Connor McCartney (Calicokitty111)
Admiral Vindictus Carrendus stood at the front of the bridge of his flagship, the massive battleship Vindicator. It's massive crew we're celebrating across the ship; cheering and shouting amongst brethren and fellow armsmen alike. But he simply stood in parade rest, watching his fleet approach the remaining enemy ships. The last few Destroyers fired defiantly into the swarm of heavily shielded corvettes. The Cyclop Gunboats fired marauder missiles in swarms, tearing holes into the enemy hulls, while Legion Strike Craft released payloads of Proton Torpedoes. Energy charges flared, shields flashed, and streaks of exhaust from engines and rockets spread throughout the void.
The Gunships were being loaded. The marines we're armed and prepared. The invasion force was ready. His flagship, a new Marcel of technological, economic and military achievement was powerful enough to invade entire planets unaided, and tear apart fleets on it's own.
"Admiral, General Capernaum has requested permission to prepare the invasion forces for full scale launch. The Gunships are fueled and loaded with Marines."
The young Admiral pondered this. He had no doubt he had the benefit of space superiority, but this was a massive world with over forty billion inhabitants and twenty million servicemen, albeit most of them raw recruits with less advanced weapons. At most, his fleet had just about a hundred thousand armed Marines and support squads, two thousand Mercury Class Gunships, and a few thousand squadrons of armored vehicles, such as Pilum hover tanks and Gladius hover scout vehicles. He simply didn't have the resources to initiate a full scale planetary invasion yet, although he could fortify a few small positions and set up manufacturing plants to fuel the local war effort.
"Tell General Capernaum to locate several small cities planetside; I want him to initiate invasions and set up fortified strike bases. Strike Officer Cassius, what were are strike craft losses?"
A young but grizzled station operator with mutton chops looked up at him and listed off the casualties in a deep Irish accent. "Fifteen percent, Admiral, mostly our slower heavy bombers, the ones that were considered obsolete against our medusa multirole strike craft. The rest we're a broad range of interceptors." Although the losses we're almost painlessly few, he still couldn't help but wince. Those young men and women were serving their Emperor, and we're wasted by Xeno Scum who didn't know their place.
They wouldn't die in vain. He would assure that.
"Communications; contact the Cyclops corvette captains and tell them to coordinate with general Capernaum to provide orbital bombardment and ground support."
Several more officers replied with a myriad of acknowledgements. They began to type away furiously at their consoles, the chatter of sensors and ship maneuvers loud.
"And get me a secure line with the Emperor, I want to report my success to him… personally."
Admiral Vindictus stood nervously in front of the hollow projector of the ship, a two meter diameter circle embedded with optic technology. Even when he succeeded, contacting the Emperor was a very daunting task that few loathed. While many would consider it honorable, their God-Emperor was an… imposing figure.
The hollow projector blasted to life, revealing the God-Emperor of mankind. He was tall, very tall, almost six and a half feet, with the physical attributes of a romantic bust. He was muscled and strong, had a promise nent jawline, and eyes that could melt through a ship hull. His voice made mountains tremble and entire planets shiver.
He wore a suit of armor made up of gilded dragonscale armor, with golden outliers. He had no helmet, no crown. His regal aura was all he needed.
He spoke, his voice commanding and hard like topaz echoed even in the hologram. "So, it seems you were so successful in purging these Xeno Scum, Admiral Vindictus. You are to be commended. However, there is still much to do, many planets to conquer and species to subjugate. Tell me, how have the plans to occupy Target Bravo commence?"
He bowed in reverence. "They have begun smoothly, God-Emperor. Our forces are being consolidated with haste to take several small cities along the coast of Thrium, their largest continent. I am planning to set up manufacturing plants with the local population as indentured assets."
The God-Emperor seemed to be deep in thought, hand to chin. "What about the General… he can be restless at times, arrogant."
"I will keep him in line, God-Emperor. We shall not fail in this mission."
The God-Emperor nodded, satisfied. "I shall send reinforcement s and supplies to your fleet to speed up your task, Admiral. Do not fail me." With that, he snapped his fingers and the hologram shut off.
"Keep me in line? That's interesting, because we both have the same goal."
Vindictus didn't even look behind him. He recognized that deep, entitled voice anywhere. General Capernaum was not an average man, borders. On the hive world of Morgana to an impoverished family, he had joined the Imperial Military Academy at a young age and rose through the ranks to Brigadier General and eventually Grand General swiftly, albeit mostly due to his extreme fervor and commitment. He was a man to be respected, but also criticized due to his many heretical notions toward the emperor and especially his orders.
"You have your orders, Capernaum, we all do. You should follow them as I have."
"Those orders are a disgrace. We should be purging those Xenos, not enslaving them!"
"I'll remind you, Capernaum, that what you speak is heresy. Your accomplishments be damned, I'll strike you down where you stand unless you quiet you foolish notions!"
The General seemed taken aback by this, a surprised look on his face, but his brow immediately hardened. "You will regret this, Vindictus."
"Your right, I'll probably regret not getting you like the pig you are."
General Capernaum drew his blade and pointed it towards Vindictus, a durasteel saber sharpened to perfection. Vindictus did the same, and they began to approach each other in a traditional dueling fashion. Then the General struck aggressively, slicing downward as Vindictus sidestepped his blow and thrusted at his stomach. The General sidestepped and swung at his legs, and while Vindictus had dodged most of the blade, the tip nicked his ankle painfully, causing him to grimace.
The fighting became much more intense; thrusts became slashes and both began to kick and punch along with their attacks until Vindictus had caught General Capernaum by the foot with his good ankle and swept him off his feet. He tumbled back into the Hollow projector of the command room, panting as the Admiral's blade became very intimate with his neck.
"Face it, General, you could never beat me, not at the academy and not here."
Capernaum scoffed. "What happened to you, Vindictus? You used to be this ambitious young man, with a head full of dreams and the heart of a lion, and now you are the servant of that fool at Holy Terra. Where did the old Vindictus go? Where was your pride, your plans to wipe the Xenos from the galaxy?"
"I grew up and I realized that there is more to this than just the war. We have to think about what comes after this, and if we can build a brighter tomorrow with those we take with us."
Vindictus let oked him in the eye, anger prevalent, and for once, Capernaum withered under his gaze. "Now, back to your duties, General. There is much to do.
And with that Vindictus made his way to the bridge.