*Waves awkwardly* Hi… sorry for not updating, my freshman year of year school is slowly coming to an end and I couldn't be more stressed out. :/

DISCLAIMER: Should I even bother?

Chapter 2: Sam's POV

Have you ever had an annoying fly follow you around all day, buzzing right near your ear? Reuben is exactly like that. Except maybe a billion times worse.

And the worst part is that he transferred into most of my classes, so there's nowhere to hide.

I'll give you a little sneak peak of my day…

Period 1: Chemistry

Reuben took the seat behind me. "You know, the pickled chemistry between us is setting off the bon fires!"

Period 3: Ceramics

Reuben sat at the table with me, Carly, and Fredbomb. "I'm gonna mold a heart for you to make the penguins tap dance!"

Period 4: Geometry

Reuben sat in front of me. "Me plus you is the square root of pie times the amount of snot in a whale!"

Period 5: English

Reuben sat next to me. "Maybe I should write a story about me, you, and the polar bear with the top hat!"

Period 7: Gym

Reuben stood next to me the whole period. "I'll protect you from the dodgeballs if you eat the cantaloupe!"

Period 9: Spanish

I couldn't even understand what he was saying, it sounded like a mixture of Spanish and Reubenense.

I was only safe from him periods 2, 6, and 8! THIS ISN'T FAIR!

As soon as the bell rang 9th period, I dashed out of the Spanish room, away from Reuben, and to my locker.

"Hey, Sam." Freddie greeted, who was already at his locker. My heart raced a little as he spoke. Why does he have to be so dang irresistible? !

"Hi, Fredbot." I quickly shoved my binders into my already messy locker.

He looked around. "Where's Reuben? He didn't follow you here, did he?"

"I don't think so… thank God!" I wasn't the only one mad at Reuben. Carly seemed annoyed with him, and Freddie looked even madder than me. Probably because Reuben was hanging out with his BFF Gibby, so Gibby had no time for him.

He sighed in relief. "Good… I wanna kill that kid sometimes!" He growled. "Anyways, I was wondering if I could tell you something…"

"What is it?" I asked.

He nervously fiddled with a loose thread from his polo. "Well, you see, um… I kinda-"

"THE SYRUP HAS FOUND THE PANCAKE!" Crap… it's him again. Wait, what was Freddie gonna say? ?

Reuben, followed by Gibby, came flailing over. I groaned and Freddie clenched his fists.

"Sam!" Reuben shouted.

"Reuben, I'm right in front of you, ya don't have to yell!"

"Oh, sorry. Anyways, my cake is whispering… will you tickle my feet with pasta?" He bounced up and down.

I turned to Gibby. "What the hell did he just say?"

"He said that he wants to go on a date with you," Gibby translated.

Ugh, that's gross! Wait… what did I say to get rid of him last time?

Oh yeah! "You've got ointment all over your bumbleberry!" I snarled at him.

He laughed. "You can make a bird moo louder than a chicken on Broadway!"

I looked at Gibby again. "He said that you're a good liar."

Gah! How hard is it gonna be to get rid of him?

"Look, Reuben, what's it gonna take to make you leave me alone?"

He stood and thought for a moment. "Well, my oven has a penguin in it, and it won't eat itself! Maybe if you eat the pasta and like it we can make it again? If not I'll sing to the lonely turtles in the gutter with hobos. And let's fly our foxes at the Cheescake Warehouse again!"

Gibby, apparently realizing that I would ask him to translate anyway, spoke up. "He said that he really really wants to go on a date with you. Maybe you could try one date with him, and if you like it you go again, and if not then he'll sing to lonely turtles in the gutter with hobos. Let's eat at the Cheesecake Warehouse again."

I sighed. "Fine, Reuben. One date. This Saturday at 8, and I'm meeting you 's it! Then you have to leave me alone forever!"

He raised his eyebrows seductively. "Unless you wanna make the pasta again…" He made a little purring noise and left. I don't even wanna know what that means!

Once they were safely out sight, Freddie let out a long breathe that he'd been holding in. "So, you're really gonna go through with this, huh?"

"Well, what other choice do I have?" I countered. "He'll never leave me alone if I don't go!"

"I guess," Freddie agreed. If I hadn't bolted out of school right after that to avoid Reuben, I would've noticed Freddie bang his fist on his locker and curse to himself.

Twenty minutes later I arrived at Carly's apartment, where I sprawled out on the couch with a Fatcake and the TV remote.

Spencer came out of his room and noticed me occupying his couch (which he didn't find strange at all). "Hey Sam… where's Carly?"

I shrugged. "I had a rough day, so I kind of just ran over here. Her and Fredlumps should be here soon, though."

Spencer looked concerned. "What happened?" He poked my stomach. "C'mon, tell Spencie!"

"I don't wanna talk about it!" I yelled. Looking scared, he sprinted back to his room and I heard the lock on the door click.

Five minutes later, Carly and Freddie walked through the door. Carly dropped her backpack and scampered over to me. "Sam! Are you okay? Freddie told me what happened after school with Reuben."

"I don't wanna go to the Cheescake Warehouse with that nub!" I whined. "He's so annoying!"

"Well, at least you won't have to deal with him anymore when it's over!" Carly pointed out brightly.

I threw my Fatcake wrapper on the floor, which earned me a glare from Carly. "But Carls, it's gonna be so creepy being there by myself with him! At least last time you, Freddie, Gibby, and that other girl were there!"

Carly's face crinkled. "Ugh, that was terrible… remember when Gibby started dancing on the table?" We both shuddered.

Freddie, who had been quite this whole time, spoke up. "And that Shannon girl was creepy as hell… but I don't blame her for fledding the restaurant."

"Hey!" Carly exclaimed. "I have an idea!"

"What?" I asked eagerly. "Throwing Reuben off Bushwell Plaza? Feeding him poisoned food?"

"Sam!" Carly scolded. "I was gonna say that me and Freddie go too, except we hide at a table near yours. That way we can make sure that he doesn't try to kiss you or anything. Plus, you could say that your stomach hurts and that you have to go to the bathroom, then you can come hang out with us half the time! Or one of us could just so happen to bump into your table and offer to sit with you or something…"

No no no no! I don't like that idea at all! Carly and Freddie going would be like a date, and I do NOT want that to happen! But Carly genuinely looked like she wanted to help… ugh, whatever! But I'll keep an eye on those two.

"Okay, that sounds good," I lied to Carly.

"Great!" She smiled. "We'll meet you there at 8."

If I hadn't gone to sleep right after that, I would've noticed the deep scowl on Freddie's face.

I managed to survive school on Friday by cutting all the classes I had with Reuben and avoiding him after school. It wasn't easy, but I did it. And now it's Saturday, which usually makes me happy, but not today.

I have my date with Rueben at 8, and that's when Carly and Freddie are gonna go too. I know that they spent half of lunch discussing their plan of attack, like if they were gonna come sit with us or another table to be less suspicious. I bet Freddie's enjoying this way too much… anything to get him closer to Carly makes him happy. Why can't I make him happy?

At 7:30 I started to look for something to wear on the date. Then at 7:31 I realized that I didn't care what I looked like, so I put on jeans and a t-shirt that said "I'm With Stupid" and an arrow. I just have to make sure I sit on the left side of Reuben for the shirt to be effective.

Half an hour later I arrived at the Cheescake Warehouse. And the moment I did, Reuben came running over to me, dressed in a tuxedo. He looked like a freaking penguin!

"Hey Sam! Are you ready to spin the monkey in the wheelchair?" He asked excitedly. As much as I hate Gibby, I really should've brought him along so I could understand what this nub was saying.

"Yeah yeah, hi Reuben. Let's get this over with."

As a waiter brought us to a table, I made sure that it was one with 4 chairs in case Carly and Freddie came to sit with us. I made sure to sit on the left side of Reuben so my shirt pointed in his direction.

"So, what color rainbow will kill the tiger?" Reuben asked, looking at the menu.

I decided that it would be easier to just ignore him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw two brunettes walk inside. Carly and Freddie.

As a waitress guided them to their table, Carly met my eye and winked at me. They had a plan. And I also happened to notice that neither was dressed up like it was a date, which is a good sign.

After the waitress left their table, Freddie walked over and bumped into the side of our table. "Oh, hey guys! What a coincidence seeing you two here!" He waved Carly to come over.

"Hey guys!" Carly greeted. "Mind if we join you?" She asked, referring to the empty seats across from us.

"What a GREAT idea!" I smiled. They really were the best friends in the world.

However, Reuben didn't seem too happy about it. But who cares what he thinks?

For the next hour Carly, Freddie and I talked and laughed like we always did, while Reuben sat there glowering. Every so often he would try to cut his way into the conversation and put his arm around me, which earned him a slap from me and a glare from Freddie.

Then, the worst thing of the night happened. Right as our food was being served, Reuben grabbed my shoulders and kissed me! After not even a second I shoved him away, wiping at my now infected lips. Carly gasped and Freddie stood up with his fists clenched.

"REUBEN!" I screeched. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT! ?"

He looked nervous. "Because… I love you and you love me!"

"I don't love you!" I screamed, getting the whole restaurants attention.

Reuben gave me a small smile. "Yes you do! More than butter plays the drums!"

"Um…" I looked around desperately, my eyes landing on Freddie. "I can't love you because… because I love Freddie!"

A/N: :D CLIFFHANGERS FTW!

You know what I find funny? That "Reuben" doesn't come out as a spelling mistake on Word, yet "Carly" does. Hahaha!

Did you notice how long this chapter was? :O I did it to make up for the wait!

Last chapter I got 20+ favorites/alerts, but only 5 reviews. I'd really appreciate it of you reviewed. :)