Me again! This chapter is for DanielleE who asked. So I wrote it :) Enjoy. Please R&R. Amy x
Yes. I do need her. I can't spend another long, cold night without her. It's killing me slowly. It's too painful to even bear thinking about any longer. Things are so awkward between us at the moment. I don't know what this means. Is Jo avoiding me because she feels the same but doesn't want to admit it or is she ignoring me because she doesn't feel the same and is hurt, maybe even disgusted by what I did? I don't know. I really can't work that woman out sometimes. And I'm meant to be a detective! I thought I had a pretty good poker face but hers isn't bad either. God, she makes my life so damn difficult sometimes. But I can't help but love her.
I'm sitting outside her house. It's bloody freezing! I hope she appreciates the fact that I left my nice, warm house just to see her. I just can't leave this any longer. I know I'm in for the most awkward and possibly heartbreaking conversation I've ever had, but I need to know how she feels. I've got my hopes up, I can imagine them being shattered into a thousand pieces. It's happened more times than I care to mention. I shouldn't let myself get dragged in to this situation once again.
I fought my feelings for Jo so hard for so long. I was determined to let my head rule my heart for once. I was doing so well but I lost the fight that night. That night. In some ways I wish it hadn't happened. But on the other hand it's a huge weight off my shoulders knowing that she knows. I may regret ever saying anything but at least she knows.
I'm still sitting here. Rubbing my hands together fiercely, trying to warm them up. Although I don't see the point seeing as I have to go out in the cold again in a minute. I'm contemplating what to say, trying to arrange my thoughts into some sort of order. I know what I want to say but as soon as I gaze into those beautiful eyes of hers I know my mind will turn to mush. I wish she didn't have this effect on me. I can't concentrate on my work when she's in the office. When we're being briefed and she's sitting right next to me. Our bodies so near to touching. Does she not have any idea of what her being in close proximity does to me? We stand up at the same time and our arms touch briefly. This one touch sends me weak at the knees, my heart rate quickens and my stomach does somersaults.
My breathing hitches now just thinking at precious little moments such as that. My mind is consumed with thoughts such as this, my dreams too. I've dreamed of her touching me. Holding me close. Kissing me hungrily. Undressing me furiously. Moaning at my touches. Grinding her hips. Screaming out my name…making me feel things indescribable. I know I shouldn't think like this. She shouldn't be so damn sexy! She has the figure to die for. Those breasts… I've spent more time thinking about them than I care to mention. She always wears tops that show a little cleavage. I wish she wouldn't. Does she really expect me to be able to do my job successfully when she's dressed like that?! And due to my unusual height (or lack of it) her breasts are always in my line of vision. I haven't worked out if that's an advantage or not. I think it would be in a different situation than in the office. If she was in my bedroom, topless, then I think my height would definitely be an advantage.
I can't sit here much longer. My stomach is churning with fear. And I can't feel my fingers. Sod this, I'm going to talk to her.
I've knocked on the door. I'm waiting for her to open the door. I hope she's in after all this. I hear footsteps coming closer, there's no going back now. She's opening the door…
"Didn't expect to see you here."
Well that wasn't the reaction I was expecting! Is that all she has to say?!
"I wasn't expecting to be here." Well what else could I say?
"You'd better come in." Jo replied, opening the door more so I could get in the house.
I perched on the edge of the sofa, looking at the floor.
"So…what can I do for you?" Jo asked.
"I…I…" I stuttered, suddenly bottling it.
"Spit it out Sam."
"I think I love you." I replied, sincerely.
There, I said it. I couldn't take it back. I couldn't deny it. Not that I'd want to deny it. I can't wait much longer for an answer Jo! What is she trying to do to my nerves?
"Do you?"
Do I?! She's the one I've been thinking about constantly for months, the one I want to spend my life with. Of course I bloody do!
"Yes. Say something Jo. The suspense is killing me." Sam laughed nervously.
Jo looked at me, I wasn't sure what she was thinking. She slid across the sofa towards me, keeping her gaze upon me. Then she kissed me. Jo kissed me! It wasn't because she'd had one too many to drink or because I'd kissed her first. I felt like I was floating in a sea of ecstasy. Her lips pressing against mine, her tongue clashing with my own, her hands roaming over my body; through my hair, massaging my breasts, resting on my hips. I pulled away softly before I was unable to, staring deep into her eyes.
"I love you too Sam." Jo replied breathlessly, resting her forehead against mine.
"You don't know how happy I am that you said that. I was so scared about coming here. Why did you behave the way you did yesterday? I thought you weren't interested…" I replied, looking away.
"No it was nothing like that sweetheart," Jo replied, tilting my head to look at her again. "I was scared of how I felt. You're as straight as they come, or so I thought, I thought you were just confused. I never thought that a woman as beautiful and amazing as you could be interested in someone like me."
I blushed furiously. "You're amazing Jo, and I don't deserve you. But I'm so glad I've got you."
Love it? Hate it?Please R&R x