Chapter 2: The Part Where he Kills You

Part 1: Twerkit no longer!

Any plot holes are from laziness, not lack of detail.

All was well at the Yagami house. Well, not everything, because there was a murderer there, but it had a calm feel to it. Anyway, Light was watching his favorite show, Happy Tree Friends. But his television violence was interrupted by a public service announcemnet.

"We interrupt this program to bring you an important message from the ICPO."

Light seemed interested.

"Huh? What's this?

Ryuk chimed in. "It's a public service announcement, dumbass!"

A man showed upon the screen. The man spoke.

"Greetings. I, am 69twerkit69, otherwise known, as L.

"This is L?" Light was very interested now...

"Kira! I know you've been killing trolls on the Internet!"

"Duh. Everyone knows that about me. I mean, there's blogs and stuff." Stated Light.

L spoke up again.

"But what you're doing is eviiill!" L gave a little smirk, though no one could see it.

"I'm evil? No I'm not! I'll kill you!" Light contradicted himself a little, although he didn't care. He wrote 69twerkit69 in the Death Note. And 40 seconds later...

"Augrrahagh!"

Twerkit died.

Part 2: You Done Goofed.

If you make this Note unusable by burning it or tearing it, your Shinigami will probably be pissed.

"Hehehe I killed someone!" Light was giddy, but not for long. The screen flashed to show the letter L. A man spoke.

"Haha! You're a dumbass, Kira! You fell for my trap!"

"A trap? Who is this guy?"

"The guy you just killed wasn't L! I'm L! And you're in Japan!" L felt pretty good about this.

The task force was also impressed, but they aren't important enough for a scene swap.

"You see, this broadcast was shown only in Japan, so now I know where you are!"

Ryuk decided to speak up. "You done goofed, Light!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Listen, Kira. Listen very, very carefully as to what I am about to say."

"..."

"You're evil and you suck!"

Light disagreed.

"I suck? I am justice! I protect the Internet from trolls and hackers! I make the Internet a safer place for righteous people, because I AM GOD! And all that would oppose me... are n00bs!"

Now it was L's turn for a speech. "This is an atrocious act of murder! Kira, wherever you are, whoever you are, I will find you, and eliminate you. I am Justice!"

The P.S.A program, was cut.

The battle was set into action.

Part 3: I Spy With My Shinigami Eye

Shinigami eyes allow you to see a person's username, lifespan, and profile picture.

Light was killing people in his room.

(Laughing about it, too. Quite madly, and wildly. Suprising, I know?)

Ryuk wanted some entertainment.

"Hey Light, wanna know something cool?"

"I don't really care, Ryuk." Light was busy plotting as usual.

"Light, if you don't listen, I'll post those pictures of you doing-"

"O.k fine I'm listening!"

"Do you wanna know how us Shinigami know the usernames of humans?"

"Not really..."

Ryuk was hunched over the mouse button.

"I'm about to click submit, Light..."

"Fine! Tell me."

"It's our Shinigami eyes. They let you see a person's username, lifespan, and profile picture."

"Can a human get these eyes, Ryuk?"

"Yes! All you have to do is give me half of your remaining life. Whichisprobablylike2yearsanyway."

"In that case, no."

Part 4: Tin Hats

You can write in the notebook with blood and such, but if you're in that situation, you're probably boned anyway.

Meanwhile at the ICPO...

"I don't really trust L anymore! He called us n00bs!" said Soichiro

"Neither do I! To gain his trust, we should-" Matsuda got cut off.

"No one likes your plans, Matsuda!" yelled Soichiro.

"I know!" said Aizawa. "To gain his trust, we should meet him in person!"

"Great idea, Aizawa!" said the rest of the gang.

"But, that's what I was going to say!" protested Matsuda.

"Shut up Matsuda, you're too stupid to think of a plan like that." quipped Soichiro.

Matsuda was promptly bashed with a frying pan.

"It's settled then." said Soichiro. "We're going to set up a meeting with L!"

L spoke through Watari's laptop. "Yes. I agree. We should have a meeting."

"Oh my god he read our minds! Quick, get the tin foil hats!" yelled Soichiro.

"No. I can hear you through the laptop. It's been on for 2 hours now. I'm almost out of battery."

"Shut up with your muggle technology! Matsuda, the hats!"

There were no tin foil hats. None at all. Soichiro had gone mad.

L chimed in.

"Anyway, let's meet up tomorrow."

"Great! We're all exited about coming!" said the always enthusiastic Matsuda.

"That's what she said! Ahhaha! I'm a detective and a comedian! Hehehe bye."

The voicechat session was cut.

The battle was set into action.

Part 5: A Test

If you write details of the death, they will occur, as long as they are possible.

Ryuk the Shinigami was in his usual position, hunched over to spy on Lights new plan, panic attack, or pornography shoot.

Sometimes, it was all 3.

This time, though, it was only the first one. Light, for whatever reason, had decided that he needed to put some more spice into his murders, so he did some testing with the Notebook. Of course, Ryuk has a habit of peeking...

"Liiiiiight! I'm bored! Tell me what you're doing!"

"Ryuk, why do you care so much? Aren't you supposed to be uninterested in us, "petty mortals" anyway?"

"Light, Earth is way more entertaining than the Shinigami Realm. My home planet is a sandy shithole with shrivelled-dick-apples, and we spend most of our time gambling." Ryuk sounded serious for a change.

Light, however, simply voiced his rebuttal to Ryuk's statement. "Gambling? I thought your planet was only sand?"

"It is. It makes us bored. That's why we spend time gaaaaaammblingggg..."

"Gambling with what?" Light asked.

"Skulls."

"Figures. What do you win when you gamble?"

"Skulls."

"And everyone on your home planet looks like...?"

"Skuuls."

"No wonder you love death so much, Ryuk..."

"Hey, you're one to talk, Mr-I-Kill-Internet-Trolls-To-Become-God"

"Oh yeah, I guess you're right. Speaking of that, check out this little test I've devised. I'm trying to test the limits of the Death Note." Light obviously changed the topic, but Ryuk is stupid, so he didn't notice.

Of course, though, Ryuk was interested in Light's plan.

"What kind of test?"

"I'm going to be killing this prisoners, but I'm going to write details of their deaths, and see if it works." Casually speaking about murder has never been more casual.

"Wait, Light, can't that notebook only kill people on the Internet? How will you use it on facebook?" A strangely intelligent statement for such a dull Shinigami.

"These prisoners got arrested for offensive facebook posts. Cybercrime is serious, Ryuk."

"Are you just saying that because of the guy who made fun of your shoes?" Ryuk knows Light too well...

"THEY WERE DESIGNER MODELS!" Ryuk had apparently pushed Light too far. Perhaps, maybe, he could calm him down?

"Relax, Light. It was a joke."

"A joke?"

"Yep, a joke." Restated Ryuk.

"A joke." Asked Light again.

"Yes, a joke, just like your designer shoes."

"Goddamnit, Ryuk."