Disclaimer: My imagination is mine to command, but I do not own those in which I now harass.

Inuyasha strode calmly through his forest, bored. "When is that damn wench going to get back?" he thought and then growled when he remembered that she wasn't due back until tomorrow. "Keh," sighing, the hanyou kicked a rock as he entered a clearing. His nose twitched.

"Wait a second…"

Before him stood the very two women he adored. Confused, Inuyasha didn't notice that the priestesses were nose to nose in argument but was just surprised that Kagome was back early. And…

"Hold, on. Why the hell are the two of them here?! Together?!" Frustrated and perplexed beyond repair, the half demon quickly approached them.

"Kikyou! Kagome! What-"

Inuyasha began but was interrupted by the first miko, "Inuyasha," she stated emotionlessly. "Finally, now we can settle this."

The two women turned to him with matched glares, and the hanyou suddenly felt something try to come back up from his breakfast that morning. "Oh, no, not now! They're going to make me choose! I can't do this!" The demon had half of an urge to run from the problem, but like all of his other issues, he stupidly stood his ground and attempted to fight his way out. "What? What do you want?" But of course he knew…

"Inuyasha…" Kagome smiled overly sweet as she usually did before she sat him.

He cringed, waiting for the inevitable.

Kikyou took an outrageously slow breath. Or was it just him?

Then they both popped the question.

"Which one of us is prettier?"

Inuyasha's jaw dropped. "What, now?!" The two women blinked at him innocently. The hanyou began to back up slowly. "Uhmm…I…you see…" he stuttered, searching their faces, hoping for a sign…"Uh…Kagomeee," the half demon said pleadingly because she was the one who usually felt pity for him in times of trouble. He directed his gaze at the girl wearing futuristic clothing.

Suddenly, the woman's face that he addressed morphed into an expression of confusion and hurt. "Kagome?" She scoffed. "Inuyasha, I'm Kikyou." The priestess crossed her arms, glaring at him.

Said hanyou's eyes got wide. "But—but…she…" he pointed to the woman dressed in feudal-era clothing. "Kikyou…you? Uhm…but…I…" Absolute terror and confusion spread across his features. Looking at the now supposed "Kagome", the demon sought help. "Kikyou! She's lying. You're Kikyou, right? Right?" He frantically gripped her shoulders and pointed to the woman in future clothes. His eyes became wild as she looked at him as if he was from another planet.

"No, Inuyasha, I'm Kagome. She's not lying."

Letting go of the now "Kagome", he grabbed his hair and attempted to rip it out of his scalp. "GAAH!! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!" He screamed, looking back and forth between the two women. "No…" Unexpectedly, the hanyou spun around and ran into the forest yelling and shouting, for all he was worth.

Behind him, the two priestesses exchanged looks and began laughing.

Naughty, naughty, Kikyou! I would have never expected that from her!

Now Kagome, I can, but Kikyou…? Really.

-KikyouHater-