"Sara, are you okay?" Nick greets me the at the bathroom door.
"Besides the mini-break down I just had? Yeah, I'm fantastic." I lean against the wall besides him, sinking down until I sit on the floor. Nick does the same, and I rest my head on his shoulder.
"I shouldn't have brought him up to them."
"It'a not your fault, Nicky. They deserve to know there father. I just can't talk about him without breaking down. I miss him so much." My voice cracks, and Nick puts his arm around me.
"We all do, Sara." I nod into his shoulder.
"Sometimes, when I really miss him, I can't look into the twins eyes. They look too much like his. Excatly the same. Caleb is so much like him I have to resist the urge to call him…"
"I know, Sara. It happens to all of us. The other day, Warrick almost did call him…that."
"We can't even say his name out loud, Nicky. That's why I didn't name Caleb that. If I had, every time I called his name, I would except him to run out, you know?" He pulls me closer as more tears fall down my cheeks.
"Sometimes, I'll walk into the break room and except him to be there, brewing his Blue Hawaiin and humming to himself. Then I have to remind myself he's gone." The sadness in his voice mirrors my own, and a lose tear falls out of his eye.
"I know I'm supposed to move on. But how can I?" He pulls me closer to him, our two sorrows merging into one. We ignore the strange glances we get from people passing through the hallway. Hodges waddles in and stops in front of us, the twins holding on to his legs. Nick and I exchange one glance and crack up.
"Please learn to keep your wildebeests under control."
"Hodges no friends!" Caleb exclaims, and Hodges flushes red and scowls.
"That's right, baby." I say, prying him off Hodges leg. Nick gets Taylor off the other one. I sit him on my lap, and Taylor sits on Nick's. Hodges walks away, scowling.
"Good one, guys." I lean my head on Nick's shoulder.
"Mommy?" Taylor asks me.
"Yes, baby?"
"What daddy like?" A rush of tears fill my eyes, but I ignore them as I ponder the question. How do you describe the love of your life to your two children who will never meet him?
"He was very handsome. He looked exactly like you, Caleb. He had the exact same hair. And your eyes, Taylor."
"He was brave." Nick says. "He was once in an explosion. Nearly died. Never cried once."
"And like Nicky already told you, he was the funniest man I've ever met. He made me laugh harder than I thought humanly possible. He was just a big kid. He would have loved you two. I know that he would give anything to be back here with us." Taylor and Caleb look up at me, and Caleb brushes away one of my tears. I smile and kiss his head.
"Where he?"
"Heaven, baby. He died so we could have our freedom. He died for all of us. But that was…that was Greg for you. He didn't know how to be selfish." I smile at the thought of him. I haven't spoken his name out loud in what feels like forever. Even now, saying it fills me with love and longing.
"Sara, there's someone waiting for you in PD." I groan.
"Can it wait, Judy? I'm kinda in the middle of a breakdown here." She smiles at me, like she knows something I don't.
"Sara, I think your going to want to see him." I sigh and pick up Caleb.
"Here," Nick says, handing me Taylor. "Take a kid." I grin and put Taylor on my hip, Caleb on my other.
"Be back soon." I say, walking following Judy to the PD.
"Hi, Taylor! Hi, Caleb!" She says, and they wave at her.
"Is this important? Because I'm kind of busy trying to prevent my children from killing Hodges." Her grin becomes bigger as a man walks up to the front desk. He's about 6'0, with hair cut military style, which matches his military uniform. He's tan and very well built, the only visible imperfection on his body a scar running down his face.
"Sara." I blink and meet the man's eyes. Hazel. It can't be…
"Greg?