"Wait! Where are you going?" She tried to shake off her interrupted sleep as she raced to keep up with him.
He kept his back to her as he walked, obviously wishing for a way out of this confrontation. "I think you know."
"You can't be serious! How do you expect this will go down?"
"I'll give her as much hell as I can and then go from there."
"Fine, then I'm coming with you." She followed him into the stable as he began to swing his pack onto the saddle of an unsuspecting ostrich-horse. She intercepted the strap mid-swing and slammed it into the stable wall, waiting expectantly for an answer after it thudded to the floor.
He let out a sigh of frustration. "No. I won't put you in danger."
"You know I can take care of myself just fine."
He didn't answer but started for his fallen pack.
"Come on, Zuko! There's no way you'll make it out alive!"
He stopped half-way to the wall and rounded on her, releasing accidental flames that traced the arc of his sudden movement.
He was angry.
Finally.
"Then so be it!"
It felt unbearably good to make him angry, but she resented him for cracking now, when she was arguing for something more than the sake of arguing. She'd been provoking him with every chance she had and his refusal to take her bait left her doubting if she would ever penetrate his humble and respectful façade.
"What are you saying? You don't care if you die?"
"What difference does it make, you don't care if I do!"
"Of course I care! What have I ever said that would make you think I'd want that?"
He looked down and his words were quiet. "You never needed to say it."
Her stomach plummeted and only filled with icy guilt when she could feel it again. She never realized that he had read her so well and although she had realized long ago that blaming him for Aang's death only brought her more pain, they both knew that denying his words would be a lie.
He used her silence as another attempt at retrieving his pack. She caught the sweet scent of him as he passed her and she took a step back to escape their close proximity. She wished that he would understand that this was the reason she distanced herself from him rather than her previously misplaced blame.
Irritated, she tried provoking him again. "Were you just going to steal this ostrich-horse anyway if I hadn't heard you leaving?"
At this he gave her a wry smile and said, "We did the same thing with Appa in the good ole days. Thought you'd understand." Once again he started to shoulder the pack and once again she interrupted him. She grabbed his wrist and thrust it toward the ground. He sighed as he let his pack drop to the ground.
He was frustrated. Good. Frustrated meant he was alive. Frustrated meant that he was still burning inside and that she could finally revel in the heat of that anger she'd been working so hard to kindle.
"I won't let you go. You know I've been aching for a chance to fight you and I'll gladly take it if it stops you." She spoke quietly to his back and rubbed her thumb against his wrist, taunting him with her slight advantage over him. She wanted him to attack her, so she could feed off his angry flames, because this way he would still be alive but they would never give in to the other possibility of her skin against his.
"Katara," his voice was soft, raspy, pleading, with no edge of violence and she hated him for it, "I need to do this, please."
"This can't be about your honor." She had meant it to cut, but her tone echoed his, and her concern floated above her anger.
He turned to face her and she let her hold on his wrist loosen. His eyes were tormented embers and she quickly realized that, alive or not, she took no pleasure in his pain.
"Aang was probably one of the best friends I have ever had. Now that I've found a chance to avenge him, I can't sit by and do nothing about it."
"Zuko, don't do this! When I tried to avenge my mother I realized it would never give me peace. You were there. Do you think Aang of all people would want you to die in a hopeless attempt to avenge him?" She gently slid her hand down from his wrist to hold his hand. Her heart pounded at the warmth of his touch and although he tried to hide it, his sudden intake of breath told her that he felt it too.
But like her, he used the energy to attack. "So have you found it within yourself to forgive that monster? Aang suffered, Katara. You didn't hear his screams."
"Because you didn't give me the choice!" Tears welled up in her eyes and she shouted, "Why are you telling me this?"
"I'm sorry, Katara. I just want you to understand."
"And I just want you to live," she said through tears, "and if that means fighting you, I'll do it." She searched for water in the humid air and let it flow in her hands as she backed away from him.
He stepped towards her and she swallowed, pushing through her desire by defining her stance. Ignoring her insistence to fight, he gently placed his hands on either side of her face and pressed his lips to her forehead.
"Let me go, Katara," he whispered, "I'll only fight you if I have no other choice."
She relaxed her stance but didn't let go of the water. He lingered to give her a small smile that said thank you and turned back to his pack once more.
That smile made her ache for him like she never had before. A year ago, she had guiltily resisted this urge because it seemed disrespectful, but she couldn't afford to worry about the dead anymore. Right now Zuko was only two feet away, safely in the world of the living, but in seconds he would be gone forever.
"Then don't hold back," she said, pounding frozen water against the ground and sending angry shards everywhere, "because I won't."
She swiftly grabbed his shoulder and pulled him towards her, reaching for his scarred face. She felt his reluctant anger, felt his body tense in preparation for the inevitable fight and felt the heat rise slowly as he unenthusiastically gathered flame into his hand.
But she kissed him.
With all the passion she had poured into a year of rage and misled hate against him, she kissed him. His small smile of a thank you made her burn infinitely more than any of his violence ever would and that alone was worth keeping him alive.
She heard the maltreated sack fall limp to the floor and heard the roar of the flames surge as he threw an exploding flame into the air above them. She felt his body twist to face hers and felt his arms encircle her tightly as she knew they would. He kissed her with a passion she knew he could only give her. It was the first time in a year that he hadn't held any part of himself back from her. She finally understood him and he finally understood her. All was said through lips but spoken without words.
He was heat and life, breathing into her the essence of flame's life. She was calm and healing, soothing his tormented spirit like a gentle stream. They pulled apart, breathing heavily and just holding each other's gaze for a few moments. She was relieved to find that she didn't regret her brash action nor did it leave her feeling guilty. She was just angry with herself because she should have known that he'd give himself enough hell without her help. But she needed him alive more than ever and she knew now that there wasn't anything she wouldn't do to save him.
"I'm so sorry, Zuko," she cried into his shoulder, "I don't blame you and I won't abandon you again, just please, don't do this."
"You know I have to go, Katara," he breathed into her hair, sad and resigned.
"Maybe you do," she said pulling away from him, "but you don't have to go to her and you certainly don't have to go alone."
She drew her hands across his chest to rest them over his heart. Again the steady pounding reminded her of a burning flame, the embodiment of heat and light and life. It burned brighter beneath her fingertips and she struggled for the words to make him understand that its beat gave her just as much life as it gave him.
"You're alive," she clutched tighter at his chest as if she could heal him with pure emotion, "and I can never let this go."
He placed his hands over hers and swallowed. He leaned close to her, so close that she thought he would kiss her again and she unconsciously closed her eyes and mirrored his movement, craving his touch despite her fear that it might be their last. Instead, he whispered, "Let's go then."
He waited for her to understand before pulling her onto the ostrich-horse with him in one fluid movement. She managed to kick the pack that had been everything but forgotten onto the saddle before they rode out of the stables, leaving behind their destructive pain and riding towards something that might be as warm as fire and soothing like a stream.