Stan's POV
I slammed the door tight and locked it. Ever since I started dating Wendy I allways felt like I was practically floating.
My sister (who surprisingly turned hot) was out again with one of her many boyfriends while my parents were on "date night". That's just a fancy word for saying "We're off to have sex in a parking lot."
My grandfather finally figured out how to kill himself and so this meant I had the house to myself.
I sat down on my sofa and thought about what to do about Kyle and his situation. He could be such a dumbass sometimes. He's told me multiple times that he doesn't need a girlfriend but I, being his best friend, knew what was right for him. The question is, however, how exactly I was going to go about convincing him to date a girl.
I decided I had no choice, I had to talk to Kenny. Kenny,out of all of us, was the most perverted, sinful,drug addicted,and sexually active. He should know a thing or two about how to get Kyle to like girls more. He did lose his virginity in the 6th grade and got high on cat urine.
I called Eric who convinced his Mom to drive us to the hospital where Kenny was staying. I had no time to tell him my reason to why we were visiting Kenny and I didn't want his Mom overhearing us in the car so he was guessing the whole time we were driving.
"Have you turned gay and you want to kiss Kenny?"
"No"
"Did you have a strange dream telling you to kiss Kenny or else the world was going to end?"
"No"
"Do you want to kiss him and post it on youtube?"
"Look just shut up O.K. We are not going to visit Kenny because I want to kiss him alright, I'll tell you later. Just promise not to tell Kyle."
"Hmmmmm, let me think." Cartman decided to be a jackass again but I was too exausted to fight with him. "A secret mission to the hospital, no jew, I get know something he doesn't, no jew, I have a secret from him and with your permission not to tell him, no jew…SWEET."
I rolled my eyes at Cartman as I breathed a sigh of relief. We pulled up onto the hospital driveway and Carman and I jumped out.
"Have fun boys." Was all Miss.Cartman said before she drove off.
We walked inside the building and looked for the reception desk. Once we found it we realized it had a long line. Cartman, being the insensitive jerk he is, cut atleast 15 people (including a dude with a bullet in his ass) and ignoring the complaints stepped up to talk to the receptionist. I followed.
"How may I assist you young boys?"
Before I could even open my mouth Cartman piped up, "Uh yes, we would like to visit our dear friend Kenny Mc…something or another in room 13 please."
"I'm terribly sorry boys but visiting hours are over for today."
I looked over at the clock which currently said 4:59. My hopes sank but I could see that Cartman, was not going to let it go.
"Excuse me Miss but you don't understand, our friend is dying and we would like to say our last goodbyes."
"I'm sorry sir but your going to have to wait until tomorrow."
"Come on Cartman let's just go." I tugged on his sleeve but he ignored me and walked to the lobby only six feet away. He carried his fat ass up on a coffee table and cleared his voice real dramaticly. Every pair of eyes on that room was now on Cartman.
I slapped my head with my hand in disgust. Not again.
"Lady's and gentlemen of this hospital. Do you honestly think it's right to say when you are allowed to visit your sick and or injured loved one? Because I don't. I came hear today to say some last words to my friend since preschool and I am being rejected because I was supposedly too late. You can never be too late to say goodbye to a loved one and you could never be too late to say," Cartman then wiped away his "tears", "…I love you."
The idiotic adults who actually fell for that bullshit started crying and sniffing. The receptionist ( who was also crying) came from behind the desk and handed him a pair of keys.
She wiped away her eyes and muffled to us, "Seventh door on the left."
Cartman started walking down the corridor and I followed.
How Cartman comes up with bullshit from his ass so suddenly, I have no idea.
Authors note: So I only got one review for the last chapter but I don't mind. I will finish this story of mine even if I only have that one review.