Part 2: What do you call it when broken hearts are not done healing?

Law and Order: SVU is the intellectual property of Dick Wolf. The use of the characters, settings, and plotlines is not malicious. This is a work of fiction.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, managing to control her urge to throw her entire body around him, letting the more powerful emotions of anger and devastation overpower her.

He looked at her, his lip caught between his teeth. "I should have told you, but I..."

"What are you doing here," she repeated, more of a demand than question. "That's what I asked, I don't want an explanation, I just want an answer."

It was his turn to feel the hurt. He cleared his throat, aware now that it wasn't as easy to walk back into her life as it had been to walk out of it. "I work here." He said it attempting a joke. He sighed when he noticed she was not laughing. At all.

"Since when?" She was looking at him the way she looked at the bastards she bogged down in interrogation, her arms crossed and any trace of warmth gone from her face.

"Look, Liv, I know I..."

She held up a hand, stopping him, and glared at him. "Since. When."

"I put in transfer papers...two days after you...they had an opening, I..."

"Why?" she spat, fire building from somewhere deep, the hurt and anger and sadness boiling over and erupting. "Damn it, Elliot! Why?"

He shrugged, stunned, speechless, and he struggled to find something to say that wouldn't sound pathetic. "Liv, I..." he dropped his arms and sighed. "You know why."

"I know you had a wife," she hissed, lowering her voice in an attempt to prevent an epic fight. "A family. A life...that didn't include me." She gave him a pained and bitter smile. "You said it yourself, El, we couldn't be in a position where we would have to choose each other, again. Lord knows, you meant one where you wouldn't have to choose me."

"That's not what I meant!" he yelled, matching her level of irritation. He took a breath and choked down the emotion enough to make the conversation less audible. "You know, that's not what I meant." He ran a hand over his face and scratched at his cheek. "Liv, when you called and told me...I know the last thing I said to you was awful. I was scared. I was panicking. I don't do well without you."

"That's a shame," she said, pressing her lips together. "Because I was doing just fine without you." It was a lie, but she needed to cut him as deep as he had cut her. She waited until she saw the sting register in his eyes and while the guilt built up she turned her back on him. She took two steps before her legs gave out, and managed to crumple into a tight ball before the first tear fell.

"Liv," he gasped, and he ran to her. He didn't care if she punched him, he enveloped her and pulled her to him, kissing the top of her head.

"Get away from me," she choked, pushing his warm body away, but it was half-hearted. "You son of a bitch, why the hell are you here?" She sniffled and coughed and wiped at her eyes, a gesture of futility as a mass of unshed tears were finally being let go. "Your life is in New York! All I wanted was a phone call! A text! Shoot me an e-mail, just fucking let me know you don't hate me because to end it the way you did..."

"I'm here," he told her, pressing his finger against her lips. "I am here, because my life...is here. New York...it's just a place, but you..."

"Don't." She hit his hand away from her. "Don't you dare." She backed away from him, put both hands on the wall behind her and pushed herself up. She watched, her eyes following his body as it rose off the ground as well. "I am not! That's your wife...your kids...they are there, I am...was...just your partner. We were getting too close, and I was not going to be the reason your life fell apart."

He chuckled, low and almost evilly, and he shook his head. "News flash, that's exactly what you are." He gritted his teeth as his eyes reddened. "You left, and everything fell apart. I went fucking crazy. I picked up the phone a thousand times, I fucking tried, okay! But nothing that I could have said would have changed anything, right? You wouldn't come back if I asked you to, and you wouldn't come home because of me." He took a small step toward her. "I know you, when you make up your mind, there's no changing it."

"Exactly," she snapped. "So you coming out here is fucking pointless! Go home! Goodbye, Elliot!" She turned to leave but he grabbed her arm and yanked, hard, forcing her to crash into his puffed up chest. "Asshole," she bit.

"I am home," he told her, soft yet gritty. "Whether you know it, whether you want to believe it or not, I am home." He threw her arm down. "I already transferred, I found an apartment that I absolutely love, and the only person that keeps me grounded and sane is right here in Chicago, so, yeah, I'm fucking home." He took a deeper breath, finding some sort of solace in the fact that she was breathing the same air as him. "I know what you're gonna say."

She refused to look at him; she settled for staring at a spot on the floor to his left. "Try me."

"The kids," he said, almost a whisper. "Maureen is on some path for spiritual enlightenment in India, Katie's in Seattle, The twins just moved into their dorms, it's their first semester at college...guess where?"

It hit her, then, and she felt some small place in her chest tighten. "Lizzie went to Loyola...I helped her write her essay." She blinked, tears rolling out of the corners of her eyes.

"Where is that, Olivia?" he asked, facetiously, crossing.

She barely whispered. "Chicago."

"Dickie got into North Park University, Liv, so, tell me, where exactly is that, hm?" He was irritated now, picking at her wounds.

"Chicago," she breathed, wiping her eyes. "But Kathy..."

"You know that anything you're about to say is going to sound so fucking stupid," he iterated. "I'm sorry, is that what you want to hear? Huh?" He shoved his hands into his pockets. "I'm sorry for telling you to fuck off, I'm sorry for being so heartbroken that my first reaction was pure hate, and I'm sorry I spent the last two months helping my kids pack, finalizing a divorce, and moving my ass out here to tell you in person how much of a fucking dick I was."

"Divorce..." her voice was dry, harsh, confused.

He grinned. He had her attention now. "I'm not sorry I'm here." He moved one hand to the back of her neck and pulled her toward him roughly, stopping just short of kissing her. "You're still my partner." He let his hot breath flow over her trembling lips, and he moved the tiniest bit closer, letting his lips brush hers as he spoke. "But you were never just my partner, you fucking know that."

It took every bit of strength, every ounce of resolve she had to push him away and not kiss him for all she was worth. She twisted her still tingling lips into a sneer and let her eyes narrow and darken. "Fuck off," she sneered.

His own words being thrown back at him didn't surprise him. In fact, he expected it. "Liv," he called, knowing she would turn around. He gave her a smile, his eyes turned up and his bottom lip quivered and it was the first time in so long he had let himself expose that raw nerve. Only for her.

She couldn't stand watching him cry; it broke her heart even more. "Don't," she whined, closing her eyes. "Please, don't. I deserve to be mad at you."

"I deserve you being mad at me," he said with a sniffle as he attempted to close the gap between them. "But I'm sorry. It's been two fucking months, you can't tell me you weren't as fucking miserable as I was, and if you even try, I call bullshit."

She shook her head. "I never thought I'd..." she stopped herself. She was too hurt, too pissed to give him the satisfaction of forgiveness. He would have to earn that, and she'd make him work for it. She cleared her throat and rolled her neck. "Work," she said. "Thanks to you, I lost my entire lunch hour. Not like I would have eaten anything, anyway." She punched him in the arm, not hard, almost playful with a tinge of disdain.

He watched her turn again, watched her walk away, and he closed his eyes and retreated into his own mind. Eventually, he knew, he'd have her right where he wanted her.

Reviews are very welcome.

Peace and Love

Jo