Phase
Pulse

"Cause where you are is where you'll be, always wanting everything.
It's all the same that you can't ignore, cause all you want is just to be more.
It's creeping up again; it's a haunting memory."
"Matter of Time" Cartel

In those few moments in which nothing happened, I knew I was dead: my breath had stopped coming and my mind had stopped functioning properly. Every muscle in my body loosened, and it was easily the most peaceful time of my life (afterlife?). Then I saw the light—faint at first, but then all around me in a flash, encasing me, making me one with it.

Appearing in front of me were two golden gates, around four times Emmett's height, glimmering in a natural glow that lacked an obvious origin. My body was light, mere feather dust in a breeze, and for an unknown reason, I desired to be inside those gates. I would only realize later that I was standing at the gates of heaven, the single paved crossroad between life and death.

I'd grown up a Catholic, but in the loosest possible terms of the word. Due to Renee's faithfulness, I'd done First Communion and CCD, and occasionally tagged along when she went to church. I believed there was a God, sometimes would drop him a line, but that was the end of my relationship with him.

As I stood here, in a place only dreamt of by many, I felt guilty. I did not belong in such a blissful place. I was your every day sinner, moseying on down the road of good intentions, hoping not to be smote by the God above. I'd always thought I'd go to purgatory; either that or return to Earth as a new person, reliving the whole vicious circle of hell that would be life without Edward.

Edward. The name clicked in my head, and I recognized it. At that instant, a flood of memories came swirling back to me, too fast for me to catch them all, and I paused. Edward. He was my love. He'd sunken his teeth into me to change me into one of his own kind, Alice had screamed, he'd still been biting—but then what?

Considering how I was standing here, floating on cloudlike grounds, staring at golden arches that weren't of McDonald's, I figured that the worst imaginable had happened—I'd died. Edward had gone too far, indulged in his desires, and killed me.

My mind wrapped around this carefully, looking at it from all sides. Impossible, I thought, and shook my head. Carlisle wouldn't have let it happen. Edward wouldn't have killed me. He loves me too much…

Then I was on my knees, the sobs climbing up from my throat and into my mouth, where they fell out onto the ground before me. It was happening so fast; our romantic kiss, the first one we'd been able to enjoy without fear, and then his teeth, sharp and fast, on my soft neck, sinking in, infecting me with the venom that would flow through me for eternity, switching my blood, my appearance, my species. The absence of feeling, and now, the absence of life?

Heaven's gates slowly opened, and then I was aware of how incredibly thrilled I was to be there, and I advanced quickly. Even with the absence of Edward, I was ecstatic, after being morbidly depressed moments before. I didn't want to leave this place, ever. From the distance, I saw people begin to emerge, a yellow glow across their faces. Everyone wore white robes, and the first to greet me was my Uncle Leo, whom I'd loved like a second father.

Though he'd been killed in a car accident when he was only thirty-four, I still remembered each aspect of his face, which hadn't changed over the course of the many years he'd been up here. "Bella!" he exclaimed, and threw his arms around me. He smelled like the cologne he'd always used on Earth, and I melted into his embrace. "What happened?" he pulled back and studied me. "Last I saw, you were with that vampire boy—"

I froze, and nearly passed out at the same time. I covered his mouth with my hand, trying to avoid the faces of the many others who'd crowded around me. "Shh!" I hissed through my teeth. "How did you know that?"

Knitting his eyebrows together in confusion, he peeled my fingers away slowly. "There are no secrets in heaven, my dear," he said softly, and motioned to the world around him. "Everybody knows everything. We can see all."

I frowned. "Yeah… the vampire boy… he bit me too much, I guess. I'm too delicious." I laughed, but it was a legitimate laugh, something that I didn't think I'd be able to do without Edward around. I didn't feel sad, simply… lost. Missing my other half. My better half.

"Well… if he bit you, that means you don't have much ti—"

"Isabella," came a quiet voice from behind me, and I almost didn't turn because they didn't use my nickname. However, I did, and was staring at a young girl, maybe sixteen. She was beautiful: her hair was golden and wavy; her eyes were deep pools of green that never seemed to end. She reached for my hand and pulled me away from the crowd of people who were still trying to get a word in.

"I will say this quickly, for I am aware that you do not possess a large quantity of time here." Her voice had a slight British tinge to it, and she spoke in formal English. "My name is Emily Winthrop. I was sixteen years old when I was brutally murdered, and it was during a rather… difficult time for my family. I was living in Vermont, a beautiful place, and my family was very poor. My younger brother had polio, something very difficult to fight, and we were trying our best to save him.

"My family sent me on a mission—to buy us as much food as I could with the money they gave me. I was handed a quarter and told to spend it all. When I made it to the store, I gathered as much as I could in my arms, and put the money on the counter. Then, as an afterthought, I grabbed a second loaf of bread off the shelf, and took off into a run out of the store. The owner, who was a heavyset man, obviously did not chase me. When I made it to the back alleys, I was certain I was safe.

"Out of the darkness appeared a man. He was around six feet, and quite honestly the most beautiful thing I had seen in my life. He was incredibly attractive, and I remember smiling up at him when he walked toward me. We were inches apart, though he was a good foot taller than I. 'You stole something,' he said to me, and I remember the cleanness of his voice, the beauty of it. Without letting me respond, he had bent down and kissed me on the cheek. Following that, he pushed me against the brick side of the house nearest to us and sank his teeth into my neck, then proceeding to suck the blood out of my body."

She silenced, shivered, and wiped a tear from her cheek. "I am aware of what you wish. You wish to be with him forever, for all times. You love him, and I can understand that. But; can you not see? So many women follow him, Isabella, and he knows he can get them. So many girls wish for him. You have him. Do you really know that you mean that much to him? That you are not just another he can get? Do you trust that he would not put up a façade of love to simply get you where he wanted you, and to suck your delicious blood? Once all the plans were made that you may not return, he could easily kill you, and dispose of the evidence."

My brain was whirring now, in a state of denial. "No," I whispered, and then cleared my throat, repeating it louder. "No. Edward wouldn't do that to me. He loves me."

"You wish to be turned into a monster." Her voice cracked on the last word, and she bit her lip. "Wish it you may. I am in no position to stop you. It must be rather intriguing, interesting. I wish you had thought about it more, Bella. You never could have understood exactly what was to come. You should have learned more, Bella. Not be so naïve. This will be the most difficult fight of your life, and I apologize for that. I apologize for Edward. Be it a shame if you are truly here forever, or if you're just—"

It all happened at lightning speed, then—too fast for me to grasp.

Heaven's gates, so inviting, faded.

I felt another cry of anguish escape my throat. I hadn't known how inviting they were until they were gone. Somehow, they'd lured me in, a barely-Catholic girl, in love with a vampire, and now they were gone, to not return. I would not rest in peace… it was a false alarm. My heart shattered—where was I going?

The picture perfect scene before me folded, and I was amidst darkness. Something about the darkness, however, frightened me. Something was waiting to happen… it was too peaceful.

Just like that, without warning, my skin lit on fire.

I wasn't sure who'd done it—Edward, to dispose of my body? Alice, to give me a quick and painless death? Carlisle, so he wouldn't have to look at the girl who tore his family apart ever again?

"Edward!" I cried, my voice climbing octaves as each letter sound came out. My body writhed against the floor but I was pinned down—something was pressing me against the floor, which magnified the flames that danced upon each of my pores. My throat released shrieks and I helplessly tried to flail about, to put out the fire.

There was a relieving feeling against both of my cheeks—his hands? An ice pack? I wasn't in any condition to know. Every semi coherent thought that entered my mind was flushed with every singe that my skin took. "Edward!" came the cry again, and I felt tears stinging my cheeks, and sobs choke out of my mouth.

There was a crash. A roar. Snarls. It could've been imagined, but all I could focus on was the pain, the indescribably, ridiculously horrid pain, the pain that felt it would never end. Seconds could have easily been years.

Make it stop! Something inside of me screamed. End it! My hands traveled up to my throat and wrapped around them, attempting to remove the air from my throat, but then my hands were stuck down, pinned by something, and my feet followed it. This opened my body up completely, which caused the pain to multiply, if such a thing were humanly possible.

Then again, was I considered human?

A second agony replaced the fire in a rapid change, but didn't provide for a moment of relief—instantly it was switched to ice, a hard ice, almost a burning hot ice. My skin wasn't cold, but freezing—not in a way that made me shiver, a way that made me squirm in pain.

I released another shout of despair and tried to find something, anything to comfort me, but nothing was there. Edward was gone; his cold hands had left my face some time ago.

My senses were in overdrive, and each sound I heard was magnified, if I could make it out and translate it into words. Around my helpless pleas of release from this pain, and aside from my vicious thoughts of wishing to die, I could hear Alice screaming; terrified about something that was happening. Carlisle was barking orders, and I could hear Edward roaring. Somehow, I sensed that he was standing guard for me.

There were endless hours of more suffering. I could not begin to explain to you how horrible it was; it's something you have to experience yourself. I understand now why it's considered the thing most memorable in your human life.

Then, just as quickly and violently as it had come, the pain was gone; sucking whatever was left of my energy with it. My ears still caught each noise made in the room, but this time without distraction. Outside the large bolted door, I could hear Rosalie and Jasper's hushed conversation, but couldn't understand it. I groaned and curled up into a ball on my side, ignoring the screaming pain in my neck. "Edward…" my voice was a raspy whisper. My throat ached, and I was aware of how much good a tall glass of water would do me.

That was when there was a constricting sensation in my chest—and then, just like that, it was gone.

My heart had stopped beating.

I thought I did okay with this chapter.

I was so shocked by the amount of positive reviews; thank you so much! I was afraid to write Twilight because I didn't want to disgrace Stephenie's work, but here I am, and being accepted. Thanks so much for that, guys!

NOTE—I am sorry if I offended anyone by making Bella a tad bit Catholic, and trying to portray heaven. I thought this was important to the story line—being pulled away from heaven must be painful in itself—and I decided to write it in. Please don't write hate reviews or anything if you aren't Catholic—it's FanFiction for a reason. I hope it doesn't affect your outlook on this story.

Emily's monologue wrote itself, she seems like a great character, for a minor one. Please, no negative reviews.