I have this headcanon where everyone in the Agency get used to Trucy's nickname for Apollo (Polly) and eventually use it without thinking. By now when they refer to him they always use his nickname, unless there's a need for his real name. At first, Apollo got annoyed and tried to change their habits, but over time he got used to it. At this point in the story he even loves it, because the ones he really care about call him that way – he's not about to say it out loud, though. I thought I should make this clear, if you were wondering.
I pretty much decided I'm gonna update once a week, every Thursday (this is a purely random choice). For now, anyway. If there's a change, I'm gonna tell you.
Yeah by the way I forgot to tell you at the beginning, but if you're a French speaker and you're not all comfortable with writing in English (which I can relate to very much), you can leave reviews in French, I don't mind at all. Just maybe avoid other languages... if you want me to understand, of course, but I do hope that's the point.
Also, I have a freshly new AO3 account! I know some people prefer that website (though I'm still more used to FFnet), so feel free to go over there if it's your case! I have the same penname, though there's no space in-between (KafkaTamura). I'm gonna publish all my stories on the two websites anyway!
Okay, onto the chapter now!
Phoenix always had a light slumber. Even when he was a kid, he would have a hard time falling asleep and would wake up to every little noises he could hear. He could stay several hours wide awake, unable to sleep but not wanting to get up either. Then he would turn around in his bed and try to focus on his breathing, even if it proved more than once utterly useless.
The years had brought too many things to think about, too many memories to remember, too many fears to resurface. Now, when Phoenix couldn't sleep, he had so many potential depressing thoughts he could end up staying awake all night, trying but failing to think about something more joyful or at least less taxing.
The only way for him to get a good sleep was when he was sleeping with someone else. It could help if they had sex before, but it wasn't necessary, since what helped calm himself was the breathing, heartbeat and overall warmth of another person in his bed. This could only lead to the dark conclusion that he was insomniac because he was lonely, a problem he couldn't solve overnight since he had it for most of his life.
This peculiar night, he was able to have a good night's sleep – for his standards anyway –, but woke up so early the sun wasn't even up. Phoenix decided to get up anyway, knowing sleep wasn't an option anymore. After putting on some sweat pants and a t-shirt, he made his way to the small kitchen near his room. Since his eyes were accustomed to the dark, he didn't open the light.
He settled to make coffee and tried to find something edible for breakfast, before realizing he wasn't really hungry. Instead, his mug in hand, he went over to the living-room of the apartment/agency and slouched on the couch.
Since he didn't have that much money to begin with, Phoenix had decided to make the office of his late mentor his home. It was big enough for two and had everything Trucy and him needed, not to mention he could very easily sleep over at work – because, well, he was alwaysat work. Though he didn't appear as much as a workaholic as some would want him to – namely Apollo –, he actually was quite fixated on his job. He only made a point of not showing it as much as he did back in his younger days.
The problem always was the lack of clients. They had some at the beginning of the week, but they had finished their cases the day before and were therefore free. How could he work without clients? He could go at the detention centre and shop around for some apparently wrongly-accused, but it was risky. Even if he had the Magatama, he still wasn't so sure about getting any client he saw – he was wrong once in the past, after all.
He could walk outside and hope to stumble upon a crime scene – which happened in the past more than once –, but it was a lot of work for what it was worth. In the end, he could very well end up with no client whatsoever and a whole day lost on walking.
It wasn't a problem right now, though, as there was paperwork to do, due to the trials of the last days. He got out of his couch and went over his own private office, though it hardly was private nowadays. Athena liked to use it so much she had left many of her psychology books and parts of her Widget, not to mention the law books Apollo thought he should own by now. The books of his late mentor were still there, packed in the bookcases along some of Maya's scrolls and whatnot. Overall the room looked packed. At least, Trucy's magic tricks were out there in the living-room, leaving enough space for Phoenix to actually work at his desk.
Without further ado, the lawyer sat down and sorted out the files. In case his red-loving protege wanted to work so bad on his own case he would make a scene – the thought made him chuckle –, Phoenix decided to begin with his own, the theft case.
Absorbed in his work, he never realized the sun got up until his daughter did. Trucy appeared at his door, all sleepy and mumbling what seemed to be a greeting. Phoenix got up, stretched a little and went to his daughter to give her a little kiss on the top of her head. His hand made its way on her shoulder as he asked her if she slept well.
She nodded and wondered, still not quite awake, what he was doing here all alone. He laughed at that and mentioned he couldn't sleep. The magician looked at him with sad eyes, but she didn't press the matter. Of course she knew about his insomnia: there's not much you can hide to someone living with you. She knew, but never asked why – Phoenix was pretty sure, though, that she understood at least some of it. Her daughter was quite observant, after all.
To lighten the mood, the dad proposed they ate breakfast, only to realize he was now hungry. Trucy nodded once more and turned around. Phoenix followed her to the kitchen, where she put some bread in the toaster.
They stayed in silence, both spacing out. Trucy, even though she could be such a pest all day long, was a little grumpy in the mornings. Phoenix learned he really shouldn't try to speak with her before she was wide awake, unless he wanted her to get sullen.
The breakfast went as quietly as usual and the girl got prepared for school. Phoenix went to his room to change into his suit and came back to his office. Not long after, one fully dressed and now overly joyful Trucy stepped in to wish him a great day. He got up just in time for her to throw a hug at him and he returned it with a genuine smile.
Trucy was his own little sun. Without her in his life, he's not sure how he could have gotten through all his hardships to become a lawyer once more. He felt eternally indebted to her and intended to make amend for all his past mistakes.
Before getting overly sentimental, Phoenix released her and wished her a great day with the best grin he could muster. Trucy beamed and kissed his cheek before getting out. Phoenix stayed in his office and sat down once more, exhaling a content sigh before frowning sightly at his paperwork. He had underestimated the time it would take him to end his own case, so doing Apollo's too seemed like a lost cause now.
Still, he went back to work until he heard the door open once more. He didn't even have to get up to know who it was, since the Chords of steel user shouted "I'm home!".
Phoenix couldn't remember the first time his subordinate used that greeting instead of a more neutral "Good morning", but he was so accustomed to it he didn't find it strange anymore. Phoenix was glad he could provide such a homey feeling to someone who grew up in an orphanage.
Also, he couldn't help but think it showed his high spirits about his job, which was kind of cute.
As usual, Phoenix shouted a "Welcome back" without getting up. The younger would come to see him anyway, so there was no need to go greet him. True enough, after getting rid of his coat, the younger showed up at his door, a huge smile on his face.
"Good morning, Boss!" His grin was so endearing Phoenix couldn't help but smile back – this was one of the traits the younger shared with Trucy. So, with a fond voice, he answered, "Morning, Polly!"
The demon look-alike came closer to his desk and peeked at his files, surprised to see Phoenix working – he definitely wasn't used to it. He stated more than asked, "So you're doing the paperwork, huh? Didn't see that coming."
"I left you the more juicy parts. Care to join?" The older retaliated with a teasing grin.
The younger groaned in disapproval and Phoenix couldn't help but chuckle. He enjoyed so much teasing Apollo, though it was all in good games. "I should have seen this coming" grumbled the younger.
Phoenix didn't comment anymore and picked up the files about the other case. He handed it to Apollo who took it without complains – making clear he was quite happy to help – and made his way to the small couch in the same room.
They worked in relative silence for about half an hour before their coworker arrived. Athena wasn't late per see; it was more like Apollo was always too early. He was overly eager to work even when they didn't have a case.
The only lady lawyer of the Agency stepped inside with a loud "Good morning", to which Phoenix answered without getting up. He was almost done by now and he wanted to finish quickly before he could go watch some movies with Athena. He heard Apollo getting up and guessed he wanted to go greet the woman clad in yellow. He would always get up whenever someone was crossing the front door, like it was an obligation.
The duo came back into the office and Phoenix smiled at his youngest subordinate. Despite being the last addition to the Agency, she now had a huge place in their life. She was a genius at making everyone feel good and pumped, not to mention she was a great confident. She also wore her heart on her sleeves and was always honest.
The girl asked if they had a new client, putting both men in a less enthusiastic mood. Of course, it was still too early to say nobody would come, but the prospect wasn't that high either. They had two cases in one day, after all; in all probability, this also meant they surely wouldn't get a case before a long time.
Upon realizing the truth, Athena asked if she could be of any help at all. Phoenix, with a smile, assured her she should just watch TV since he was almost finished and would join her shortly. Apollo for his part told both of them he could manage all the paperwork Phoenix had given him, no problem at all. While he was trying to sound cool, he only appeared desperate to keep his job for himself.
Athena chuckled and Widget betrayed her thoughts with a teasing "You're such a workaholic". Apollo looked embarrassed while Phoenix only laughed, thinking very much like Athena. The girl turned around and announced she would be in the living-room for the time being.
Less than ten minutes later, Phoenix got up and glanced at the clock. It was a little passed nine o-clock, which was way too early for a day without any work. Wondering what they could be doing all day in the office apart from watching movies – they couldn't go outside in case a client did come –, he walked around his desk and stopped near Apollo.
The younger attorney was so involved in his work he didn't notice Phoenix observing him. His expression was so serious on his juvenile face the older couldn't help but feel touched by it. Apollo reminded him of his younger self still full of dreams – not that Phoenix himself didn't have dreams anymore, but he had settled down somehow. His naivete and straightforwardness made him a good lawyer and a great friend.
This train of thoughts made him wander back to the suggestion Trucy made in the beginning of the week, about them adopting Apollo. Later that day, he had wondered why he never thought of it himself. After all, it was the logical thing to do, right? He was the one who revealed to truth to him, he should take responsibility. Apollo didn't have a family to begin with – he even chose his last name himself, he had mentioned it once. It only made sense he would provide him one.
However, the strangest part wasn't the fact that he never thought about it. What troubled him even more was his first reaction. He couldn't understand why for the life of him he instinctively had the urge to object. Was it because of the surprise? Somehow, he doubted it.
He had even brought up an issue he couldn't care less about: them having the same last name wasn't as much of a problem as he made it sound. Sure enough, it would get some time to get used to it, but people would adapt. As Trucy had put it, it was a detail. Even he wondered how he managed to make his point valid – the examples were in his favour, but still. He wasn't called a master of bluffing for nothing, it seemed.
Then, to make sure nothing would be decided right away, he had consciously put Apollo on the spot. It was quite clear the young attorney was confused about what was going on, and therefore Phoenix hoped he would try to delay everything so he himself could have more time.
Looking at him now, he realized he couldn't dream of a better son. He had always wanted a boy of his own, but never got around to have one, and the opportunity was now lying there, waiting for him to pick it up. He shouldn't have anything against it, right? So what was his reaction all about? Only wanting some time to make sure it was the good choice? But then again, it was a good choice, no doubt about that.
Hoping to clear his thoughts, he shook his head and resumed his way to the living-room while still unnoticed by his older protege. Athena looked up to him from the couch right away, what with her super hearing, and she asked him if he was finished. He answered while settling down next to her, wondering about what she was watching. Apparently, there was nothing good right now, only re-runs.
Phoenix sighed and looked around the room, hoping something would come to mind. One would think over the years he would have found some hobbies to occupy himself, but nothing could compare to being a lawyer. Playing poker was interesting, though dangerous sometimes, but it wasn't the same.
Athena, out of nowhere, suggested, "Boss, we could do a therapy session if you want."
Wondering where this came from, Phoenix asked in a surprised tone, "Why are you suggesting that, Thena?"
The girl looked thoughtful for a moment before answering, "Your heart seems... I'm not sure if it's the right term, but I'd say "uneasy"."
"'Uneasy', huh...?" It was his turn to be thoughtful, which only showed she was right to some extend. Was it really worth her time? Not to mention voicing his doubts was useless and could be offensive to her and Apollo. He didn't want to make her worry over something so little. He would sort it on his own. "I really appreciate the offer, but it's not that important, anyway. Thank you for proposing though."
He knew lying would only backfire, so he went for the truth, or something near it anyway. The younger seemed disappointed – Widget "aw"-ed in sync with her –, but she didn't insist, only assuring him, "'Kay, but I'll be there if you need me!"
"Thanks," answered the older with a sheepish smile.
They were silent for a few seconds, the TV playing in the background, and Phoenix suggested, "Do you want to play a game, Thena?"
Her expression softened in an enthusiastic smile as she nodded. "How about Scrabble?" She suggested.
With a disapproving wince, Phoenix voiced his condition, "You must promise to use English words only! No German, no Spanish, no French, no anything!"
Though dejected, she agreed and they got the game. They used the small table between the couch and the TV. Phoenix took the armchair Apollo was using most of the time – he wasn't there anyway, no harm done – while Athena stayed in her place.
As she promised, she only used English words, though Phoenix could see she was very tempted to stray. The game was close, but he won in the end, by a very small margin.
"If only I could have used some German back there...!" The girl exclaimed, as the sore loser she was.
"Better luck next time, Thena!"
"Another game!" She pleaded. "I'll win this time!"
"We'll see," he answered with a grin.
Play another game they did (won by Athena that time), and another one, and by the fourth one Apollo finally got out of the office, looking exhausted and slightly ruffled. Phoenix arched an eyebrow at his sudden appearance and the younger answered the unsaid question, "It's passed noon, Boss. We should eat something."
He hadn't realize it was this late, but his stomach reminded him right at this moment, making a loud noise. He chuckled and added, "I guess it is time for lunch."
Athena giggled and got up, before saying, "It's my turn to make lunch, right? I actually brought some food, I'm gonna go get everything ready. I think it'll take a while though, so I'll call you when it's done."
And with that, she was gone, leaving the two men alone. Phoenix mumbled, though loud enough for the younger to hear, "And there she goes..."
Apollo didn't make any comment and stood there for a while, looking back and forth from the kitchen to the office. Phoenix assumed he was wondering if he should go back to work or stay while Athena was making the meal. With a sly grin, Phoenix made him decide, "I lost my partner, Polly. Think you'll be up to replace her?"
Competitiveness filled the kid's eyes as he accepted the challenge, "Don't look down on me, boss, you might lose."
"Ooh, I look forward to it."
It wasn't poker, of course, and Phoenix wasn't as skilled in this game, but sometimes the personae he had for seven years came back to him. You can't be someone for so long without after effects. Even if he was less confident in his ability, he still bluffed, knowing full well losing against Apollo at this sorts of game wouldn't be that bad. Moreover, he couldn't help but answer to the younger's taunts.
They played for a while, but couldn't finish before Athena called them. While eating, they shoot the breeze and laughed in a perfect picture of a happy family. This was where Phoenix wanted to be. This was perfection. After being through so much, he got to the point in his life he was pretty sure was the happiest.
He still thought, with a little sadness, that it would be great if he could see Maya and Pearl more often. The first was always so busy she managed to visit about twice a year only; being the master in charge of the Kurain Temple was a huge task not to take lightly. At least he saw Pearl more often, though she couldn't come as much as before since she was in college. To think little Pearls was now a college student aiming to become an archivist! Thinking about it always managed to make him feel so old and lonely.
He wallowed in nostalgia for so long he didn't listen to the conversation anymore. Apollo noticed and gazed his way before asking, "Something wrong, boss?"
He didn't have time to prepare a lie, not to mention he knew full well his two proteges would see through it anyway. "Ah, nothing," he answered truthfully. "I was only thinking of good old days."
He was getting good at lying without really lying – a trick you had to pick up if you lived and worked with three lie detectors. Athena looked at him with scepticism, certainly thinking this had to do with what he didn't want to tell her earlier. Nevertheless, she didn't say anything.
"You sound like an old man," Apollo commented, rolling his eyes.
"I'm thirty-six," provided Phoenix, "I am getting old." It was meant to come out as a joke, but he didn't quite manage to add the right tone; therefore it sounded way more depressing than what he had anticipated.
Apollo's expression softened and he affirmed truthfully, "You're not that old, Boss. Think of it as having more experience. At least you're not treated as a rookie anymore, are you?" Phoenix could sense some resentment behind his words: it was pretty clear he was getting tired of being treated as a rookie himself. Because of his physique, people often thought he was much younger and inexperienced than what he really was.
"True enough," conceded the older with an honest laughed.
Athena beamed at him and added, "You also get to boss us around! Must feel great to have that much power and wisdom!"
"Athena," intervened Apollo, "Mr. Wright is our boss. It's only expected he would 'boss us around'."
Athena didn't relent and began to list all the good things about being older. Phoenix listened with more amusement than real interest. He didn't need to get told the good parts of being older, as he already knew them more than her. Apollo seemed to understand and he changed subject so they could have a more meaningful conversation.
After lunch, Apollo got back to his work while Athena decided to study psychology. On his own, Phoenix laid down on his couch, hoping to recover some sleep. With a lazy smile, Phoenix pondered about Apollo's reaction when he would see him sleep in broad-day light.
For some reason, Apollo assumed Phoenix was getting plenty of rest at night – his boss never told him the truth, not wanting to worry him. Actually, a lot of people thought he always slept like a baby. They also thought he didn't give a damn about what others thought about him, given his usually carefree demeanour. While it was true he didn't mind as much as the people in general, he still worried about how he was perceived. He was faking being confident and proud all the time: he had plenty of doubts himself.
But now was not the best time to think about this. He wanted to sleep, if only for an hour or so, and he needed to clear his head. His eyes closed, he tried to focus on his breathing, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Of course, it didn't work – it never worked. He tried to summon some relaxing techniques Maya taught him, to no avail. Bringing Maya up only managed to make him sad and lonely.
No matter how many friends he had over the years, how many people he met, he still felt something special for Maya. Somewhere along the line, he even thought maybe he was in love with her, since she was so dear to him, but he realized quickly it never was romantic. Maya was his sister, his confident, his assistant of course, his partner. She was there when he had hard times and good times. He even tried to cross a bridge in fire despite his acrophobia to make sure she was safe!
What would he give to have her in here again, asking for burgers or talking about food in general, with that grin of hers. Her determination and her insights on him would surely help get everything he was thinking in the right order, so he would know how to deal with Apollo and his adoption. Maybe he should call her. He could even go visit her. That would be fun.
He could bring Trucy with him – she always loved going to see her Aunt Maya. Ah, but she was near her exams, so maybe it wasn't the best time. He contemplated bringing Apollo along, as he also enjoyed seeing Maya and going to Kurain, but remembered it was precisely to discuss of Apollo. That could become awkward. As for Athena, he already knew she planned on having a sleep-over with Simon, not to mention she was usually busy in the weekends.
It seemed like he'd have to go on his own. Oh well, it would be fun nevertheless.
Phoenix heard the door of the office squeak slightly, so he opened his eyes. Before he could say anything at all, Apollo scolded him, "Boss, what are you doing? It's still open hours! What if a client were to come?"
It was so predictable Phoenix couldn't help but chuckle. "Calm down, Polly," he told him while sitting up. "I wasn't even sleeping anyway."
The younger squinted at him in an attempt to see if he was lying – really, most of the time he was so obvious in his attempts to see lies –, but of course he saw no nervous gesture. He sighed, still unsure, and Phoenix decided to change subject, "So, you're all done?"
Apollo looked surprised for a second, before answering, "You mean work? Yeah, I just finished."
Instead of standing awkwardly, the younger made his way for the armchair, only to stop in front of it and glance towards the couch Phoenix was sitting on. Quite unexpectedly, the younger decided to ditch is favourite chair and plopped down right besides him, in a safe distance though.
Phoenix leaned back and studied his protege, asking a very legitimate question, "Where's Thena?"
"Back in the office," the younger answered while turning towards him. "She's reading a book I think."
Phoenix hummed back and brought his attention at the TV, only to notice it wasn't turned on. Of course it wasn't: he had tried to sleep, not watch it. Apollo seemed to notice too, because he asked, "So, if you weren't watching TV, what were you doing?"
Without stopping to wonder about what he should say, Phoenix briefly answered, "Thinking." Maybe it wasn't the best option, but it was still better than confessing he planned on sleeping, right?
Phoenix could see from the corner of his eyes that Apollo was scanning him, still looking for lies. He really couldn't stop himself, could he. Phoenix wondered if he would trust someone again if his ability was taken from him. Considering how he had been betrayed more than once, it seemed quite unlikely.
Apollo sighed, clearly concluding his boss wasn't lying, and stayed silent for a while. To avoid it becoming awkward, Phoenix took the remote and opened the television. They watched for a while, not looking at each other, until Apollo, without so much as a warning, asked, a little too loud, "Is something on your mind, boss? You're acting kinda strange..."
Phoenix turned his attention once more on his protege. Their gaze met and they locked eyes. He tried to think, fast, about what to say to him, what wouldn't be a lie and what wouldn't betray his thoughts. He still had to see Maya, he still had to make sense of everything he was thinking before confronting him. He was a far cry from ready to tell him anything at all. But he didn't want Apollo to think he didn't trust him, because this was as far from the truth as possible.
Shrugging it off was out of the question, answering truthfully also. He sighed and told him the truth without telling him the truth at all, "Sorry, Polly, I can't talk about it yet."
A look of hurt flashed in his eyes, but Apollo averted his attention back to his hands and made no comments. Phoenix felt bad about it, but he couldn't very well tell him he was still not sure about the whole adoption. He could ask for his opinion, though; maybe that would even make up his own mind.
After an awkward silence, filled by the chatters of the TV, Phoenix tried to change subject and asked, as casually as possible, "I've been meaning to ask you, Polly... did you think about Truce's suggestion?"
Apollo gasped, showing clearly he hadn't expect this at all. He turned his head towards him so quickly it must have hurt. They locked gaze another time, but it didn't last long. Apollo hastily glanced at the floor while answering, "Sorry, I... I didn't have time, with the trial and all that."
Phoenix tried to smile in a comforting manner and dropped a hand on his shoulder. He wished Apollo wasn't a guy and he could give him a hug without it being too awkward. Still, it served the purpose of showing his support, while he tried to be mature and told him, "I know Truce can get carried away, but if you're not comfortable with all of this, I'll find a way to tell her. Just let me know."
He knew on the back of his mind that he was only avoiding the problem once again. After all, if Apollo was the one rejecting the offer, he wouldn't have to voice his thoughts. However, he first meant it as a way to tell Apollo everything would be alright, so he shushed his thoughts and concentrated on him.
The younger one looked up, still dejected, and sighed another time. "I just don't know what to think of it, that's all," he confessed, his eyes closing for a moment. "I never had a family before, so it's all new to me. I'm sorry, I'll just have to get used to the idea."
Phoenix detached his hand from his shoulder and let it fall on his laps. Another silence filled the room, both of them being in deep thoughts. Phoenix was about to say something – he didn't even know what –, when he was cut off by the door of the office opening.
Athena, obviously, walked inside the room. Both guys looked up to her and she blinked at them before asking, "Sorry, am I interrupting?"
"No no," Apollo hastily answered, "we were finished talking. Right, Boss?"
The older, a little flustered, agreed pretty lamely, "Yeah, right, of course...!"
Apollo looked at him funnily, obviously picking on his nervousness, but Athena made no comments and sat down in Apollo's armchair. While playing with her hair, she asked what they should do. Phoenix got back on track and suggested they watch a movie. Apollo grunted in disapproval, but didn't really argue.
The decision was clear: Phoenix would go visit Maya as soon as possible. With that in mind, he tried to relax and get in the movie, but he couldn't stop himself from glancing at his protege. He really hoped nothing would challenge yet again the relationship they had so much difficulties to build.
This is really important, as I am pretty sure it will come up a lot in the future, so you should read it! It's about Athena's ability: it's never made clear what she actually hears from people's heart, so I decided it's not words. As we know it, words are imperfect and most of the time can't get across our real feelings. Since we're dealing with emotions, words are too rational. Therefore, I deduced Athena hears the raw emotions in a way only she can understand, before translating it into words, using for that end her own knowledge of the situation.
The whole point of this explanation was that I think Athena can perceive emotions from someone without being able to explain the cause if she has no knowledge. As for what happened in this chapter, since she couldn't begin to understand what put her boss' heart in "uneasiness", she can only put the emotion into words without being able to deduce it has to do with Apollo's possible adoption. I hope this was clear enough for you all to understand!
So, did you like Phoenix? He was more difficult to write than Apollo, I'm not sure why. I just had to bring up Maya because, well, she is important to Phoenix. Looking forward to his trip? Well I am! (though I should warn you it will not happen in the next chapter)
See you next chapter!