Disclaimer- I do not own Dawson's Creek, or any of the Characters.
Author's Note- I will try to upload some more chapters. Also, in this chapter, Pacey's thoughts will be italicized, as well as past tense.
Chapter Two
It has been two days since the whole dance disaster, and the moments I spent with Pacey. It kind of feels like I am betraying my best friend, Dawson. I feel like I am doing him wrong, but yet in a way when he is around, I swear, my heart can smile. He has that effect on me, even though it is nothing, but to me it is everything. What can I say, it's kindergarten psychology, when a girl says she hates you- it really means she likes you, and when a girl banters with you it obviously means she really likes you. In most cases she never realizes it until she saw a new insight. I have seen new eyes, new outlooks, something new, something pure, and something that could be real. It is just that he makes me feel alive, and he makes me feel innocent and free. It just feels so right, and to the point where I just want to run away.
Here we are again, at Capeside High School, another day with the people who we do not even associate with. With people that just talk, walk, and look at you like they are superior others. To all of those people who think they are, so called popular, and beyond better than the average people. People know me as Joey Potter, the daughter of a convict, and the girl whose mother died from cancer. My life is nothing but people talking, and not just the students in this humble place of ours until graduation, but the parents are not so different from their children. I guess I see where their kids get it from. This whole little group of ours always seems to cling to people within this little group as they chat away our lives. Obviously, they don't have anything better to do than talk about us. Like Pacey, and Ms. Jacobs, really, okay move on, next. Dawson, what do they say about him? Probably, about how he is this obsessive film buff dork. Last but not least, Jen, she is the new girl in the school who moved from New York, the big apple. Yep, the big apple, and she must be so experienced and I am sure we are not fun with her New York style fast pace life of hers.
"Why good morning, Potter. Seems you look lovely this morning." Pacey said, while walking up to her by her locker with a witty charm like usual. She really does look , Pacey, focus, focus now.
"Oh gee, thanks, Witter you might as well alert the authorizes for me, won't ya?" Joey bantered back at him, and he laughs. Her thoughts started drifting off. His eyes, they're so blue, so deep, and so much meaning. They say so much.
"Well, Jo, we might as well get to English, we're going to be late. You know how much I love English." Pacey smirked with that remark.
"Yeah, looking forward to it. Another wonderful class that I am just thrilled to be in." Joey said before closing her locker.
"You know Potter, if you don't want to go, we can just, um well, skip class? Leave school, play hookie for the day?" Pacey said trying to compromise a deal, but just wanting to spend time with her.
"Pacey we can't do that, come on, Witter, lets go to class." Joey said before they both walk into class.
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Friday night, Pacey and I went for a walk around the town. We walked around the pier, near the Ice House, and the lovely town of Capeside. It was just us, and he gave me a genuine heat felt hug. All I know was that, I didn't want to let go, I didn't want that moment to end. It felt so right, it felt real like the way it is always supposed to be with us. I could feel his heart beating, the steady rhythm of it, and I swear, he could hear my heart beating fast. I just wanted to know what it felt like, know what it was to kiss him. I looked up into the dark night, to be met by this sparking blue, beautiful blue eyes that take my breath away.
"Potter, I am shocked you actually agreed to this little outing of ours at the moment... considering you hate me an all." Pacey joked around with her.
"Witter, I do not hate you. I could never hate you . How can I hate some rather attractive like yourself, like you said a little while ago." Joey said sarcastically and smiled towards him.
"At least the truth comes out, Potter. It is better to admit it then to bottle up all these feelings inside. You know I always knew you thought I looked good. I seen you checking me out before, don't think I haven't noticed." Pacey said while joking around and then continued on. "Yeah, right... I couldn't be right, considering I am the very own Capeside' clown and people will always be talking about me." Pacey then it took a path for the wrong.
"Pacey, I guess you know me too well." Joey started, but then continued. "Pace, look at me, you're not a clown of this town, and people will talk where ever you go. You're just going to be one of those people who will be talked about because you're the son of the towns Sheriff, and it doesn't help that your brother is one too. Just like myself, I am a joke to people here. People hate me, I am hated by most of Capeside High School students. It's a fact, Pace, and we cannot deny that. We might as well embrace it and admit most of the people in this town are out to ruin our lives. When people look at me, they're like 'oh look at her the daughter of Mike Potter, the convict while her mother was dying of cancer. Her older sister Bess got knocked up by a black man,' you see Pace, I am talked about." Joey told him, trying to make him feel better.
"I guess you're right, your life is much worse. You know what Potter, it doesn't matter what people think, you are better than any of the people here. One day, you're going to get out of here, and you're going to prove what you are made of. We'll both get out... some day. If I don't give me a favor and send me a post card from the outside world, will ya? But hey Potter, we're not so different at all. You know, by the towns best gossip." Pacey told her genuine, looked into her eyes, and hugged her slightly.
"Thanks Pace." Joey responded. How can he do that, how can he...
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"Miss Potter, earth to Miss Potter, are you going to answer my question?" Mr. Peterson asked, and the whole class laughed.
"Um, what was the question again, sorry." Joey said with a slight awkward shy smile.
"What are your thoughts or opinions on the Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman?" Mr. Peterson asked again, in a some-what annoyed look that she was not paying attention.
"Well it is a weird story that she made here. It has a lot of irony in the story, like the wall paper, and all the furniture. It was like she was living an imprisoned life, and she obviously was in a depressed mental state, slowing turning into insanity. Especially when it comes back to the wallpaper, it has a symbol to her... it represent her in some which way or form. " Joey explained to Mr. Peterson.
"Very good Miss Potter." Mr. Peterson said, and continued on.
It is lunch time, and I see Dawson heading over to my table to sit down. It seems he is acting like nothing has happened between us. Hello, we broke up, what more does he want. If he expects to get back together, he can forget it. What is done is done, no turning back.
"Hey Jo what's up?" Dawson asked while taking a seat.
"Nothing much you know, just having some lunch. Considering it is lunch time." Joey said, trying to get him form stop beating around the bush.
"Oh yeah, well I am sorry about the other night, I didn't mean to get to, um, you know jealous and all. I just don't want to lose you." Dawson told her, and she gave him a fake smile.
"Look Dawson, I meant what I said. I mean what I told you. I just can't be with you, just not right now, the timing is wrong, and I need to figure things out. I need to find myself, and see what makes me happy before I am interested in anyone else." Joey explained and continued, "I have to go, I'll talk to you later, Dawson."
"This has to do with Jack, doesn't it? Do you want to be with him Jo? If you do just let me know, it would make things easier, Jo." Dawson said, and kept on talking, "Jo we've friends you can tell me..." He was cut off by Joey.
"Dawson, what is with you and that theory, this has nothing to do with Jack. This kiss was nothing, it was a mistake, an innocent mistake that meant nothing. Can we drop this whole Jack theory of yours. I do not want to regret ever dating you to begin with and lets keep it at that. " Joey said angrily and stormed off.
"Dawson what's wrong?" Jen asked while walking his way.
"Oh, nothing much. I was just trying to talk to Joey and sort things out about what happened at the dance. It's pretty obvious that she doesn't want to be with me... at least not now anyhow." Dawson told her, sadly.
"Look Dawson, if you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it was yours, and if not it never was. Give her space, because if it was meant to be you and her will end up together just give her time." Jen told Dawson trying to give him sympathy.
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I don't know what it is about our little miss Potter, but I tell you it is something that I have never felt before. I do not know what it is, but it feels right, but yet so wrong. It feels comfortable when I am around her- I feel at ease. I feel like it is supposed to be like that, but I feel bad at the same time because Dawson is my best friend. I feel as Dawson flees away from Joey, I am getting this pull into her direction; and his best friend and soul-mate and I just cannot help myself. Our Very own Josephine Potter, the girl who is obviously doing something to me... more than friendship, more than words can implicate. The more I think about it the more crazy it seems. It seems surreal, we are arch enemies of each other, we banter, and we fight. As it seems, as all I want to do it be next to her, with her, holding her and I just want to be kissing her. I just want to feel her lips with mine, and feel the chemistry.
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Joey walked into the Ice House, and put her uniform on for work . Ah, great, here comes Bess. Great, I hope she can't see the giddy smile on my heart. I hope not, I hope I am not smiling. Ah great, she is looking at me like she knows something... I must be a horrible liar.
"What is up with you, you seem, very happy." Bess asked knowing she will not leave until I tell her.
"Oh, nothing Bess... just some guy." Joey told her, and now she is eager to find out.
"Oh really, Jo who is it, tell me everything. Don't leave anything out." Bess said to her sister, she loves her sister.
"Um, I kinda hate him, but I kinda like him you know that feeling? He's so annoying, but he is so cute." Joey started, and then said her last word in a whisper, "Pacey."
"I know that feeling, and Jo. What was the last word you said? You need to speak up I cannot hear you?" Bess said to her sister.
"Pacey, Pacey, Pacey, Pacey." Joey said until Bess could hear her. She seen her eyes get wide, and her smile grew wider.
"I thought you liked him. Mom always liked him you know, but hey word of advise, don't wait too long to tell him." Bess said before walking away.
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Joey Potter, she is amazing her smile, and the way she makes me have butterflies in my stomach. It is a feeling that I never had before, a feeling so real and so pure. A feeling I can get used to. I like having her close to me, it makes her close to my heart. My heart beats faster, and my thoughts are lost from the sight of her. She makes me crazy, but a good crazy though. This is nothing like Tamara Jacobs, this is like affection... like what it could be like to feel loved or to be in love.
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As a lie on my bed I stare at the ceiling lost in my thoughts, and lost in my heart. Lost in the moments that brought me back to this moment of silence that is making my knees weak, my fingers tingle and my heart beat fast. What ever it is, what ever I know the moments I spent are the feelings the purity. It makes me feel alive, it makes me feel whole. His touch, his voice, his smile, and his eyes are just little things that tell me a thousand words. I cannot explain what I would feel like if this were to get out to the public. If people knew my thoughts of Pacey, oh I would be a laughing joke by the way I describe him. I seem to be staring off into space . Moments, memories, thoughts... all of him. All of the moments we spent together, or stupid little things he says or does. How two bantering enemies make it seem like were two star crossed lovers... from the wrong side of the creek.
Authors Note: I will try to upload another chapter either later today, or tomorrow. Please read and review please!