Maybe You're My Love?
Kir Sirin
"Oh, Hikaru…" Kaoru clutched onto his brother's blue blazer.
Hikaru seemed to be staring at his tea cup.
Could I really be..? No… I-I can't… Kaoru is…
"Hikaru, please…" Kaoru pleaded as he tightened his should on his brother's arm. "Look at me."
Kaoru is my twin. I can't love him more than a brotherly kind of love.
The tears in Kaoru's eyes looked all too real and the crack in his voice made Hikaru jump out of his thoughts. "Hikaru, please."
Hikaru looked at his twin and his heart ached. "Kaoru…" He quickly pulled the younger twin in his embrace. "I'm sorry. My thoughts were elsewhere."
"You were ignoring me…"
"I'll never do it again. I promise." Hikaru closed his eyes.
This doesn't feel like an act anymore.
Kaoru looked up as his brother stood. "Hikaru?"
Hikaru placed a small kiss on the top of his younger brother's head and walked out of the music room.
His mind wouldn't slow down as his heartbeat continued to speed up. Hikaru stumbled out into the hall and placed a hand on the wall beside him.
Why was this so hard?
Why couldn't Hikaru just put all of these feelings aside?
Why did this feeling consume him?
Why?
Hikaru continued to walk forward. He needed to get away from things for a while.
He just needed to clear his head.
He shook his head and shut his eyes tightly. I can't be in-love with him! That's… Wrong. What I feel is wrong… Kaoru wouldn't accept it… Tamaki, Haruhi, Mori, no one would accept it…
No one would accept me.
Suddenly, Hikaru felt tears sting the back of his hazel eyes. The thought of his brother not accepting him tore Hikaru to pieces.
Kaoru… I can't live in a world without you…
Hikaru swallowed loudly as hot tears streamed down his cheeks.
But you could never live in a world with me feeling this way…
He bit back a sob.
Could you?
"Hikaru!"
Hikaru stiffened as he heard his name being called into the hallway air. He pressed his palm into the wall and pushed himself off. His feet almost let him fall, but a pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around his waist.
Hikaru looked over his shoulder.
His brother had saved him from falling.
"Hikaru…" Kaoru said softly into Hikaru's back. He pressed himself deeper into the blue blazer in front of him as his hold tightened. "You said you wouldn't leave me alone… You said… You would never leave my side again."
"Kaoru…" Hikaru had the sudden urge to rip his hands off of him and run, but Kaoru's touch was too soft.
Too comforting.
Hikaru closed his eyes in defeat as he placed his hands over the other twin's. "I-I'm sorry…"
It broke Hikaru's heart when he heard a mountain of fangirl screams around them.
Kaoru was only acting.
Of course… Hikaru thought bitterly. He would never behave this way if we were alone.
He would never feel that way towards me.
Never.