Act 2, Scene 1

[The curtains are closed. A few tired Ozians enter.]

Ozians:

(Sung) Ev'ry day, more wicked!

Ev'ry day, the terror grows!
All of Oz is ever on alert!
That's the way with Wicked -
Spreading fear where e'er she goes
Seeking out new victims she can hurt!

A HYSTERICAL WOMAN
Like some terrible green blizzard
Throughout the land she flies:

AN OUTRAGED MAN
Defaming our poor Wizard
With her calumnies and lies!

ALL
She lies!
Save us from the Wicked!
Shield us so we won't be hexed!
Give us warning:

[Curtain rises, but stage is dark.]

Where will she strike next?
Where will she strike next?
Where will she strike next!?

[Stage lights up to reveal Glinda, Fiyero & Morrible on a podium.]

Glinda: Fellow Ozians, as terrifying as terror is, let us put aside our panic for this one day... and celebrate! (Sage becomes festive)

(sung) Oh what a celebration
We'll have today

CROWD
Thank Goodness!

GLINDA
Let's have a celebration
The Glinda way!

CROWD
Thank Goodness!

MORRIBLE
Fin'lly a day that's
Totally Wicked-Witch free!

CROWD
We couldn't be happier
Thank Goodness!

Morrible: And thank goodness for you, Glinda, and your handsome swain, our new captain of the guard. (To Fiyero) Now Captain, you've been at the forefront of the hunt for the Wicked Witch, haven't you?

Fiyero: Not really, but I don't like to think of her as a Wicked Witch.

Morrible: Captain, how does it feel?

Fiyero: Frustrating... but I became captain of the guard to find her, and I will keep searching!

Morrible: No, being engaged!

Ozians: (As banner drops) Congratulotions!

Fiyero: (To Glinda - Confused) This is an engagement party?

Glinda: (Showing him her left hand, which has an engagement ring on it) Surprise! (Pause) Are you surprised?

Fiyero: Yes!

Glinda: Good, we hoped you'd be... the Wizard and I!

(Sung) Yes -
We couldn't be happier,
Right, dear?
Couldn't be happier
Right here
Look what we've got
A fairy-tale plot
Our very own happy ending
Where we couldn't be happier -
True, dear?
Couldn't be happier
And we're happy to share
Our ending vicariously
With all of you
He couldn't look handsomer
I couldn't feel humbler
We couldn't be happier
Because happy is what happens
When all your dreams come true!

MORRIBLE: And Glinda dear, we're happy for you! As Press Secretary, I have striven to ensure that all of Oz knows the story of your braverism! How vividly I remember...

(sung) The day you were first summoned
To an audience with OzAnd although he would not tell you why initially
When you bowed before his throne
He decreed you'd hence be known
As Glinda the Good - officially!

Fiyero: That's not how you described it to me.

Glinda: Oh no, not exactly, (Whispers) we'll talk about it later.

MORRIBLE
Then with a jealous squeal
The Wicked Witch burst from concealment
Where she had been lurking -surrpetitially!

PERSON #1
I hear she has an extra eye
That always remains awake

PERSON #2
I hear that she can shed her skin
As easily as a snake!

PERSON #3
I hear some rebel Animals
Are giving her food and shelter!

PERSON #4
I hear her soul is so unclean
Pure water can melt her!

Fiyero: (To Person #4) What?

CROWD
Melt her!?
Please - somebody go and melt her!

Fiyero: Do you hear that?! Water will melt her?

Glinda: (As she's putting hand over mic) Shush, dearest!

Fiyero: People are so empty-headed they'll believe anything! (Storms off)

Glinda: Excuse us just a tick-tock! (Goes after him)

[Glinda & Fiyero talk aside]

Fiyero: I can't just stand here grinning pretending to go along with all of this!

Glinda: Do you think I like to hear them say those awful things about her? I hate it!

Fiyero: Then what are we doing here? (Grabs her hand) Let's go, let's get out of here!

Glinda: (Standing firm) We can't leave now, not when people are looking to us to raise their spirits.

Fiyero: You can't leave, because you can't resist this. And that is the truth.

Glinda: Maybe I can't. Is that so wrong? Who could?

Fiyero: You know who could. Who has. (Starts to leave)

Glinda: (Grabs him) Fiyero, I miss her too, but we can't just stop living. No one has searched harder for her than you. But don't you see? She doesn't want to be found. We have to face it.

Fiyero: (Aside) I have found her, but it's not safe to tell her that. I've done all I can to keep her safe. (To Glinda) You're right. I'm sorry, you're right. And if it's going to make you happy, of course I'll marry you.

Glinda: But it'll make you happy too, right?

Fiyero: You know me... I'm always happy. (He runs off)

Glinda: Fiyero! (Crowd & Morrible notice. Glinda plays it cool.) Thanks plenty dearest! (To others) He's gone to fetch me a refreshment, (Goes to podium) he's so thoughtful that way!

(sung) That's why I couldn't be happier
No, I couldn't be happier
Though it is, I admit
The tiniest bit
Unlike I anticipated
But I couldn't be happier
Simply couldn't be happier

(spoken) Well - not "simply":

(sung) 'Cause getting your dreams
It's strange, but it seems
A little - well - complicated
There's a kind of a sort of : cost
There's a couple of things get: lost
There are bridges you cross
You didn't know you crossed
Until you've crossed
And if that joy, that thrill
Doesn't thrill you like you think it will
Still -
With this perfect finale
The cheers and ballyhoo
Who
Wouldn't be happier?
So I couldn't be happier
Because happy is what happens
When all your dreams come true
Well, isn't it?
Happy is what happens
When your dreams come true!

CROWD
We love you, Glinda, if we may be so frank

GLINDA
Thank Goodness!

CROWD
For all this joy, we know who we've got to thank:
Thank Goodness!
That means the Wizard, Glinda:

GLINDA
And fiance!

CROWD
They couldn't be goodlier
She couldn't be lovelier
We couldn't be luckier

GLINDA
I couldn't be happier
CROWDThank Goodness:

GLINDA AND CROWD
Today!
Thank Goodness for today!