Here you go! The second part. Give me some feedback, otherwise I won't know if you really like it or not …
"Hey Shane, come here sweetheart!" Helena greets Shane with a hug. "How is it going? Are you feeling all right?"
Shane smiles as she realizes how important she is to her friends. "I'm doing better, thanks… But I….wanted to thank you for everything you've done. I mean you guys have been more than my family all this time, and I really appreciate that. Thank you."
"Aw honey, you have nothing to thank me for. All I'm doing is my job as a friend. I'm pretty sure you would've done the same for me." She answers hugging Shane again.
"Yeah, absolutely."
After few seconds of silence Helena proceeds, "So, now take a sit and tell me what can I do for you? What do you need?"
"Uh…" Shane sits down nervousness building up in her body. "I-I want to ask you something…"
"Sure what is it?"
"Um, I…" Shane sighs deeply and clears her throat. "I wanted to know if you have had any kind of communication with… Carmen. If you… have talked to her." Shane's voice trails off, her head down.
Helena grimaces, "Shane … I don't know…"
"Have you?" Shane raises her head.
"Shane, I don't think this is a good idea. I can't talk about this with you."
"Have you seen her?" Shane asks again.
"I…" Helena scratches her head in exasperation. "I promised not to say anything to anyone ok? Don't make me do this."
Shane stands up and walks towards Helena leaning her body into the chair, looking straight into Helena's eyes "Helena please, I need to know this… Have you seen her?"
Helena feels trapped. "Shane I…" she hesitates, "no I haven't seen her, but…"
Shane stares at her expectantly, "But?"
Not able to hold back anymore Helena gives in "I've talked to her …on the phone…once"
"Yes," Shane whispers with her eyes closed, straightening up and releasing the pressure in her chest.
Helena just remains in her seat waiting for Shane to absorb the information.
"Is she… ok?" Shane finally asks turning her back to Helena trying to hide her emotions.
"Yes, she's fine. She's working in New York." Helena confirms
"Do you know where?" Shane turns facing Helena again.
Helena protests, "Please, Shane don't. She's doing fine, she's working, she's happy…just…let her be ok? She's started over, moved on and I think you should do the same."
"Don't ask me to do that. You don't understand. I have to see her, I have to fix it, I have to explain."
"Fix what, Shane?! If you…" Helena stops just in time not wanting to bring up the past. "Just accept the fact that she's ok now and…."
"I love her," Shane admits abruptly surprising Helena. "… I still love her, and I know I was the one who screwed it up ok? That's why I need to talk to her, to face her and let her know that I'm sorry that I was stupid. She deserves to know why I did it. I just want to stop being a coward." She runs her hands down her face. "You know? This thing with my mother has made me rethink my life. I was so mistaken and lost, and I did horrible things… I can't take them back, but what I can do is be honest with her and open myself up to her and spill it all. If after that she doesn't want to see me again…I'll understand…but I have to try. I have to do it Helena, I have to check if there's still a tomorrow for us… please."
Helena looks at her and sees the sincerity in her eyes. She turns towards her desk and starts writing something on a piece of paper. "Look, I don't know exactly where she is, I just know she's deejaying in this new gay club in New York." She hands the paper to Shane "this is the name." She pauses for a second, "I'm sorry but this is all I got."
"Thank you Helena, thank you." Shane takes the paper. "…You don't know how much this mean to me," her voice cracks.
"Please …be careful ok? I really appreciate both of you, and I don't want to see either of you hurting…just…be careful."
"I will… Thank you" Shane hugs Helena really tight. "Thank you very much."
"Good luck."
With that, Shane leaves the office; her heart is full of hope …and fear. She tries to put only positive thoughts in her mind.
The only thing she's sure of now is that she's going to find Carmen. No matter how long it takes she has to see her and explain to her everything. This time she won't hide anything. She knows there's a huge possibility that Carmen might hate her now but she's willing to take the risk, to take that pain…for love.
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Finding the club where Carmen was working in New York wasn't that hard after all. Apparently it was a new place but with a nice reputation and well known already, not only for the gay community, but also for dance music lovers. It wasn't a shock for Shane to realize that many people knew about it because of Carmen. "The hot, Latin dj chick that spins there? She rocks!" many said.
Nervously Shane enters the place, and immediately she is enveloped by the thumping music. She looks around with the hope of spotting Carmen somewhere. In the meantime, Shane spots the bar and weaves her way across the dance floor. She's not aware of the stares she's getting from half of the people in the place; she's too busy trying to organize her thoughts. Once she makes it to the bar, Shane orders a beer and stays put.
Fifteen minutes later, a beautiful, slender and tall brunette takes the stage:
"Ok, ok, people I hope this little warm-up has prepared you for what is coming now! And I know you know what it is!"
People cheer.
"Yeah, your favorite girl is here again and is ready to kill! Let's make some noise for Carmen!"
The crowd screams.
Shane's hands start sweating as her eyes wander to the stage and the dj booth. She's desperately searching for the pair of chocolate brown eyes that has seen too many tears and the beautiful face that possesses them.
Suddenly her breath gets caught in her throat at the view in front of her: Carmen. She is unbelievably gorgeous. She has the same big and sweet smile Shane remembered, but her hair is longer. She gets lost in the amazing curves of the Latina. Memories of the times she had that body close to hers runs in her mind. Carmen, who is now in the booth, waves to the crowd and takes the mic from the woman who just introduced her.
"Hey, wassup! Are you ready to party?"
The crowd answers with a big shout.
"Ok, then let's get this party started!" Carmen says giving the mic back to the woman and proceeds to do what she does best, spinning.
Every body on the dance floor immediately starts to gyrate and move to the music.
Shane remains in the same position with her eyes locked on Carmen.
"Want another beer?" the bartender asks.
"Uh…yeah…sure." Shane answers not looking at the guy for a second. She extends her hand to receive the beer and sips it.
Twenty minutes later, she continues to stare at Carmen. She is just hypnotized by the sway of her hips and the movements of her lips as she whispers parts of the lyrics. Shane feels relieved though since the place is so packed, Carmen can't see her. For some reason every time Carmen glances in her direction, she hides behind the bodies. She can't understand this behavior, but right now she is happy just to watch her. As Shane continues to do just that, she quickly remembers that she didn't travel across the country to watch the love of her life from afar. She tries to think of the right words to say without causing a scene. Shane looks at Carmen analyzing a possible reaction – what she'd say, what she would do – but her thoughts get blurred. She observes the tall brunette approaching the dj with a beer in her hand for which she receives in exchange a kiss on the lips and a big loving hug.
"Aw, thanks babe." Carmen says to her girlfriend after the tender hug.
"No prob. That's what my working girl and best employee deserves." answers the brunette giving her a quick peck. After a pause she continues "so, are you sure you'll be able to go? Cause if you are tired I-"
"Yes, honey." Carmen interrupts and smiles widely. "It'd be a pleasure for me to be right there, next to you and be part of that," she strokes her girl's cheek "I feel it's important for both of us to be there."
"I think so, too. Thank you. It means a lot to me." the brunette says as she rests her forehead on Carmen's.
Shane, who saw the whole scene, feels jealous and sad, but not surprised. It was pretty obvious that a woman like Carmen wouldn't take long to get a person in her life. Who could resist such a beauty? And not only that, she was also a great person with huge amounts of love to give. The natural thing to do was to share that love.
That, of course, wasn't a consolation for Shane right now, but she also felt guilty and felt that those uncomfortable feelings she was having were totally deserved. She clearly saw that it wasn't a good moment to talk to Carmen. She gives a final glance at her and starts walking towards the door, but not before she stops to talk to a waitress.
"Hey, I wanted to know if there is a way to contact the dj. You see I'm going to have this party and …"
"Sure." the girl answers. "Just wait a sec," she disappears for a minute or two.
"Here," the girl hands Shane a business card. "Here are the numbers you can use to contact her. You just have to call and set the day. She'll be the soul of the party; you won't be sorry." she smiles.
"Yeah, I bet. Thanks," with that Shane leaves the place.
Walking slowly and looking at the card, Shane reflects on what she just lived moments ago. Shane was happy and a lot of other emotions when she saw Carmen, but she was also a little sad to see that Carmen has moved on and seems happy. Of course Shane didn't want to see her suffering or anything, but she felt like it was going to be really intrusive and selfish to break that harmony.
"What if she's in love? What if she doesn't have feelings for me anymore?" Shane thinks.
But at the same time, she has this feeling in her heart that she has to try, to fight till there's no hope. That's the only way to be sure. She'll have to talk to her… tomorrow.
Comments please!