A/N: This is the chapter where you really start to see that I haven't read the books in while. The characterizations are a bit off, I'm sorry. I've started rereading the series and hopefully things will get better from here.
Also, please note that this chapter is almost entirely taken from my one-shot The Willow Song (though it is a rewritten, alternate version). I promise I won't rip myself off so much in the future.
Enjoy anyway!
"Where's Harry gone?" Ginny asked, making her way down the stairs. Harry had been spending most of his time at the Burrow, since he was no longer allowed with the Dursley's and he didn't want to spend time alone at Sirius's old house.
"Some interview or other," Ron grunted. He hadn't been so happy about spending less and less time with his best friend, who was torn between work and Ginny. He got to spend less and less time with Hermione, too, who was off exploring job offers of her own. Ron had been given a number of opportunities, but had turned them all down. It had seemed like a good idea at the time (since he wanted a break after saving the world) but now he was left at home with nothing to do but attempt to not fight with Percy, which wasn't easy for the hot-tempered boy.
"Oh," Ginny replied softly, sitting at the table to stare down at the food. Her stomach growled impatiently, and she poured herself a glass of pumpkin juice and sipped it slowly, attempting to settle her upset stomach down without actually having to eat anything. The idea of food made her feel a little ill. How strange, to feel both ill and hungry at the same time.
But she couldn't dare let herself eat anything. On her way downstairs she had heard 'Persephone was trapped in the underworld for eating pomegranate seeds. How much will it take to trap you?'. And though she was fairly certain that eating her mother's cooking wouldn't trap her anywhere, she didn't want to take the risk.
"Ginny," Molly Weasely entered the room with a large smile. It was the same fake smile she'd had all year. "Good to see you up."
"Good morning," greeted Ginny, not making eye contact with her mother. She'd been so afraid that someone might be able to tell she was insane by looking in her eyes.
"What will you be doing today?"
"I was thinking of going on a walk," she replied, and then finished off her glass of pumpkin juice.
Molly nodded. "Good. Get some fresh air."
Ginny stood from the table and left the Burrow.
Ginny Weasely walked for what seemed hours or days or weeks, but what was likely only forty minutes. She soon arrived at an unfamiliar pond which had purple and yellow wildflowers growing around the edges, while three willow trees caused shadows across the water. Colorful ducks floated along the surface, along with a few geese and a pair of swans.
Ginny made her way through the tall grass until she stood under a willow tree. She took a seat on a small rock, and looked across the pond.
Soon, a small black-and-white diver came out of the water, looking curiously at Ginny. It carefully, slowly moved forward, its head tilted at a slight angle, accenting the curious look. Ginny sat perfectly still as she watched it approach, not wanting to scare the bird away. As it reached her feet it gave a low, mournful call. Ginny looked down at it.
"Hello," she greeted. It gave another call in response. She smiled. "Nice day, isn't it?" The diver flapped its wings. "Yes, I bet it's great for flying."
The diver sat at Ginny's feet, still looking cautiously at her but seeming a little reassured. Ginny carefully reached a hand down and patted its feathers, and the bird gave her a short song. As Ginny continued petting the diver, she talked.
"I didn't see any other divers out there. Are you alone?" she glanced back up at the water, but still could not see any others. "It must be awful, not having a family. I have one, though…it's rather broken. My brother died, you see. And another left us for a long time. So now everyone hates him." The bird looked at her sympathetically. "And what's worse….I think I've gone insane. I keep hearing voices, and seeing shadows. And I'm scared to tell them. And I'm just plain scared. And I want to be with Harry so badly, but how can I when I keep hearing his voice?" Everything was so confusing. All she wanted now was to be with Harry. But how could she let herself, when every day she would lie to him and tell him that the shadow she'd seen was nothing, that the voice she'd answered was just her own thoughts? She couldn't, not when she knew they were both…
Tom Riddle. That was the worst of it all. The shadow didn't look like Lord Voldemort, it looked like Tom. It sounded like Tom, the only real friend she'd had her first year at Hogwarts. The only one who truly listened. The only one that used her and tried to kill her.
Why couldn't she just forget him? Why hadn't she heard this voice after her first year? Why now?
She looked down at the diver as it sang another song, seemingly asking why she'd stopped talking. "I should give you a name, shouldn't I?" she was silent for a moment. "How about Shikoba? That means 'feather', right?" The diver seemed to nod. "Shikoba it is, then."
There was a deep, roaring sound, and then the sky opened up. A heavy rain suddenly began falling over the pond, and the ducks and geese began to find shelter under the trees. One particularly vicious-looking goose sat nearby her and Shikoba.
"…I think I'm ready to leave now," she informed her friend as the goose glared at her, and the rock she was sitting on. She screamed as it rushed her suddenly, biting her leg as she flew from the rock. It hopped on top of the rock, honked twice, and then settled down.
"Yes, it's time to go…" Ginny decided, and then took two steps out of the tree and then paused when she heard a soft, mournful song. She looked back at Shikoba, her heart breaking. It was silly, but she didn't want to leave her new friend. And it seemed the bird had no intention of being left behind. It ran from the goose, following Ginny out into the rain.
"You want to come home with me?" The diver flapped its wings.
Her family probably wouldn't approve, but that hardly mattered to Ginny. She just needed a friend, someone she could tell all her secrets to as she had the diary. She bent down, picked up Shikoba and cradled him in her arms as she ran for home.
The hard part would be finding a way to sneak the bird up to her room until she could explain what it was doing there.
She peeked into the downstairs and, not seeing anyone, rushed into the house and bolted up the stairs. She opened the door to her room, stepped inside and –
"Harry!" she cried with surprise. Shikoba flew out of her arms and landed on her bed, beside Harry.
"…you brought a bird home?"
"Yeah," she said, smiling sheepishly. She closed her bedroom door. "He was following me around and…well, I didn't want to leave him alone. There weren't any other divers out there…"
Shikoba sang in agreement, and Ginny winced, hoping no one else had heard.
"So you're adopting a wild bird?"
"Yeah," Ginny said, now feeling defensive. "Do you have a problem with that?"
"No," Harry responded quickly. "He's a cute…um, diver. Has a very, erm…sharp beak."
"He's harmless," insisted Ginny, walking up and sitting on the other side of Shikoba. She patted Shikoba's wings and kissed the top of the bird's head. The bird settled in closer to her. "He's really very sweet."
"I – I'm sure," Harry stammered. "Just um, Ginny…why?"
"I told you," Ginny sighed. "It was alone, and it followed me…so I decided to give him a home." And a family.
"Oh," Harry shrugged. "What did your mother say?"
Ginny looked down to Shikoba. "Nothing yet. She doesn't know."
"Er." Harry sounded both relieved and worried. "Well, I don't think she'd-"
"Oh, you!" Ginny snapped, irritated. She stood from the bed and planted her feet firmly on the ground, shoulder's width apart, and then put her hands on her hips. "What do you care, Harry Potter? You're always gone! What do you care if I keep a bird or not? What do you care if I make a new friend? It's not as though you ever spend time with me!"
She didn't mean those words, not really. They were a result of her fear that she was going mad, that she'd always hear Tom Riddle's voice in her head, and, yes, her loneliness. But though it was Harry who was always gone, it was her who separated herself from him, who distanced herself from him emotionally. Because she didn't want to hurt him, like Tom's voice kept telling her to.
Harry's face went solemn at Ginny's outburst. He slowly stood, too. "Look, Ginny…" he sighed. "I'm sorry I'm gone so often, really I am. If you like I can just take the day off tomorrow and we can go flying or something. I'll cut back on the meetings…you know I don't like them anyway."
Ginny sighed. "No, Harry," she stepped out of the defensive position, standing in front of him and taking one of his hands in each of hers. "Don't do that. I'm sorry I was mad…it's just all the family stress, really. I know how much those meetings and things mean to you and your career, even if you don't like them. I know thing will calm down soon and then we can be together more often."
"Thanks, Ginny," Harry sighed, relieved. "Are you sure about tomorrow, though? I really wouldn't mind-"
"I'm sure, Harry."
You feel lonely, Ginevra Weasley. Harry doesn't bring you happiness. Leave him and find someone who will.
Ginny winced, and then yawned, hoping Harry hadn't noticed. "I'm kind of tired, Harry…I think I'll take a nap."
"Are you okay, Ginny?" he asked, concerned. "You winced…"
"Just embarrassed that I have to take a nap like an old woman," Ginny laughed. "I'm fine."
"Okay…" Harry said uncertainly, heading for the door. "I'll see you later."
"Okay. Bye."
Harry opened the bedroom door. "Want me to talk to your family about the bird?"
"Shikoba," Ginny corrected. "And yes, if you could. I think you'd have a better chance at convincing them then I would."
Harry laughed. "Alright. Bye." He left.
Ginny sighed, collapsing on the bed. That had been a narrow escape. Harry was so sweet and caring, and she had been so close to…to…
That stupid voice! Why couldn't Tom leave her alone? He was dead! He was dead, and he was haunting her!
"Maybe it's a ghost…" Ginny whispered to herself, hopefully. But no. She knew ghosts, and they didn't whisper thoughts in your head. She wished Dumbledore were still around, maybe she could ask him…
"Of course!" Ginny exclaimed loudly enough that Shikoba fluttered his wings nervously. "I'll go to Hogwarts…Dumbledore's portrait…" But she paused uncertainly. She wasn't a student anymore, and it might be suspicious if she asked to go into the Head Mistresses office to talk to a portrait. At the very least, they'd want to know why. And what would she tell them? That she wanted relationship advice?
"Maybe I can just say I miss him…" But no. A lot of people missed Dumbledore, and they couldn't just let them all see his portrait. "Maybe I can sneak in." Floo Power might help. It was kind of risky, but it would be worth it.
It would take some planning, though. She would have to wait until she was alone and no one would miss her, and somehow find out when the office was empty. Oh, dear. That wasn't possible, was it? How could she know when the office was going to be empty?
Maybe she could write a letter. Not explaining what was happening, oh no, because someone would read it to him. But maybe just asking if there was a way she could speak to him in private.
…But that was the same as going to see him directly, wasn't it?
What a dreadful little circle you're in. Give up. There's no escaping me.
With a small sob, Ginny turned to her side, curled her knees to her chest, and slept.
Ginny woke hours later, feeling a gentle pecking at her arm. She groaned, but then slowly opened her eyes, rolling over to face a hungry Shikoba. Surprised at the darkness in her room, she looked at the clock. Oh dear. It was already past dinner-time…past bedtime, really. Everyone was probably already asleep in their rooms.
Shikoba gave a short call, likely trying to tell her that he was hungry. Ginny rolled out of bed, and then walked around it to pick her diver up. She headed carefully out of the room and downstairs, then to the kitchen where homemade bread rested on the counter. She tore off a large chunk, and then began feeding pieces of it to Shikoba who sat on the floor by her feet.
"I don't know why I slept so long," Ginny began a conversation. "I wasn't very tired."
In answer, Shikoba opened his mouth for another piece of bread. Ginny fed it to him.
"I guess this whole 'being insane' thing wipes me out more then I thought," she shrugged. "I wish there was a way I could figure things out better." And then she had a genius idea. "I've got it! Maybe I can ask Hermione to go to the library with me. Then I could look and see if any books have anything on…maybe hearing voices while stressed, or if it's some kind of magic…like a curse or something."
Shikoba seemed to like the idea, as he flapped his wings excitedly. Ginny fed him the rest of the bread.
"That's what I'll do," Ginny decided. "Tomorrow morning I'll ask Hermione to go to the library with me, and then I'll lose her there somehow and look it up. It shouldn't be too hard."
Cheered, she was suddenly starving. She found some leftovers and gorged herself on them, and then picked up her diver friend and carried him upstairs. She got back to her room and lit her candle, but soon her eyelids felt weighted down. The full stomach made her sleepy all over again. So she settled into bed with Shikoba content on the pillow beside her, and began drifting to sleep.
Before she began to dream, she heard a voice.
Divers can't walk on land.
Artificial: I discovered that little fact after I'd written the Willow Song. Oops?