Part 1: She kept his letters

Summary:

It's like she just can't help thinking about him.

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I had a dream about you last night. I was walking in a park and saw you sitting in one of the seats, you looked in my direction and smiled sweetly, I smiled back with my heart full of joy to be seeing you and then went up to where you were while I felt the sweet, fresh morning air touch my face. As soon as I approached you got up from the bench and held out your arms to me, when the tips of my fingers touched yours, I saw you disappear like smoke in the air and I got frightened. I looked around for you and suddenly you appeared again, but it was not the same place as before, we were in a garden now and you watched me from afar, I was relieved. I inhaled the soft scent of the flowers and waited for you to come to me, but you did not come. Your face was serious and your eyes were now cold, dark, and filled with sadness. My chest tightened with the way you looked at me and at that moment I felt pain and fear. So I started walking up to you, but each step that I take the distance between us grew and it was harder to get to you. I felt like every step I was losing a little bit of you in me.

I woke up with my heart beating so fast and a terrible feeling that something was missing inside me crushed my chest. So I let myself cry silently for a few minutes. I cried wanting your hug. I cried wanting to hear your voice. I cried wanting to have you with me. I cried myself to sleep again...

Now I'm sitting here across the world reading the letters you wrote to me.

There was a time during shootings that we exchanged a few letters — used to be two or three per month. Do you remember that? I wonder if you still have the ones I wrote to you. Do you have?

I remember the first time you wrote me. It was late and we had recorded the whole day, I was so tired that I just wanted to go home and sleep for hours. Entering in my trailer I saw on the chair a white envelope and it was written 'G'. I take the envelope without making the slightest idea that it was a letter, and totally surprise, I read your sweet words with a genuine smile on my face. When I finished I realized that all the fatigue in my body was gone.

So since that day whenever I walked into my trailer and saw an envelope I couldn't contain the smile, nor the anxiety to read your words that were always so well written.

Touch the same paper you touched. Read the words you wrote thinking of me. Remembering the time we were together somehow makes me feel you near me. I needed to feel that after yesterday's dream.

Your letters are like photographs that I keep — I see your face when I look at the pages. I can imagine your wide smile in the goofy parts, I can feel your emotion in each word, your hesitation at each comma, your sincerity and love in each end point. It's like you're undressing when you write. It's like you're giving your soul to whom is reading. It's like you're declaring in written words what cannot declare in spoken words.

You know that I love you. And if you still love me with the same intensity with which I love you, perhaps at this moment you can feel so close to me in the same way that I feel you here with me now.