Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece. it belongs to Luffy.
Quick Note: This is not meant to be a shipping fic, but that doesn't mean I can't mess with you all a little bit. Enjoy!
Had we known at the time what a hassle that innocent-looking gold orb was going to be, I'm sure we would never have let it come aboard the Merry. And to think it started out kind of funny... that went south real quick.
"Oi, everyone!" Luffy called out as stepped onto the deck. "Me and Usopp are back!"
Robin, who was reading in her deck chair, looked up and gave the rubber boy a half smile. "Welcome back, Captain. Did you find anything of interest at the market?"
"Nah," Luffy replied. "They didn't have any meat."
"That's too bad," Chopper said, walking by with a stack of books. "I found all these great medical texts, and Robin got a book about the island's history."
"It is very interesting," Robin noted. She stood up and looked over at Chopper. "Mr. Doctor, I'm heading towards where the infirmary is. I'll take those books down if you want."
"Really? Thanks a bunch, Robin!"
Robin smiled again and knelt down to take the books from Chopper. Immediately she bloomed several extra arms to get a better hold of the stack. Then she turned to Luffy.
"As for your meat predicament, I'm sure if you ask Mr. Cook nicely, he'll make you some meat for dinner tonight," she said, then promptly went below deck.
"Great idea, Robin!" Luffy agreed before Robin left. He looked up towards the galley door. "SANJI! MAKE MEAT!"
"WAIT UNTIL DINNER, MORON!" Sanji shouted back from within the galley.
"That's not asking nicely at all!" Chopper scolded. The reindeer paused. "Hold on. Luffy, didn't you say you and Usopp were back?"
The captain nodded. "Yeah. Why?"
"Then where's Usopp?"
Luffy's brow furrowed, then he walked over to Merry's railing that faced the docks. He looked over the side to see an impatient Usopp standing on the dock, tapping his foot. Nami was also standing next to him, several shopping bags hanging from her arm.
"What the heck is taking you so long?" Usopp called up to him. "I told you to drop the gangplank when you got on board! I can't haul this backpack up a ladder!"
"I just got here, but dropping the gangplank would be nice!" Nami added.
"Sorry, I forgot!" Luffy apologized. "Hold on!"
When Luffy didn't step away from the rail to get the gangplank, Nami and Usopp grew worried. When Luffy stretched down his arms so that they wrapped around his friends' waists, Nami and Usopp's stomachs dropped. He was not-
"Gum Gum... Fishing Line!"
With a quick snap of his elongated limbs, the sniper and navigator went flying into the air and slamming into the deck. Nami's bags scattered everywhere and Usopp's backpack burst open, spilling whatever objects he'd purchased over the course of the day across the deck.
The duo jumped to their feet almost instantly and knocked their fists into Luffy's head.
"WARN US WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO THAT!" they hollered angrily.
Luffy rubbed his noggin. "Owww..."
Chopper, being the nice soul he was, started to help pick up the fallen objects. Nami had begun to do so as well, until she noticed something by her foot.
"What's this?" she asked, picking it up. "A gold ball...?"
Usopp stopped berating Luffy long enough to check his pocket and see that the orb he bought was gone. It must have fallen out when Luffy pulled him and Nami on to the Going Merry.
"Oh, that's Usopp's!" Luffy explained to Nami. "The girl he bought it from in the market said whoever holds it has to tell the truth!"
"Wow, really?!" Chopper asked in awe. "Nami, you're holding it! Are you feeling truthful or anything?"
"Get real, Chopper," Usopp said, walking over to Nami. "The girl I bought it from said that was just an old story. I was thinking I could make something out of it."
Usopp tried to take the gold ball from Nami's hand, but she quickly moved it out of his reach. Nami examined the sphere with a critical eye, then tapped it with her fingernail.
"Thing's not even solid gold, just gold plating..." she muttered. She glanced over to the side, to where a certain swordsman was sleeping against the mast. "I wonder..."
Without another word of warning, Nami reared back her arm and hurled the ball at Zoro. Usopp and Chopper cried out, yelling at her for doing something like that to a sleeping man. Their cries were wasted, however, for Zoro's arm snapped up and easily caught the ball.
Zoro cracked one eye open. "Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep."
"SO COOL!" Luffy and Chopper exclaimed.
Was he even actually asleep? Usopp thought.
Nami crossed her arms and smiled connivingly. "Zoro, can I ask you something?"
The swordsman scowled. "You threw a gold ball at my face because you wanted to ask me a question?"
"It's important."
"Fine. Make it quick."
Nami put her arms behind her back and put on a fake pouty expression. "Zoro, remember back in Alabasta when I gave the boys my Happiness Punch? How come you didn't look? Do you think I'm ugly or something, or are you just not into girls?"
"No; I actually find you extremely attractive. It's just that I have too much respect for you as my nakama to try something as cheap as peeking on you in the bath," Zoro said in the most normal and calm tone ever. "And it's not that I don't like girls; they just don't interest me in that way. I've sworn off the idea of pursuing any form of romantic relationship with women because I feel they would distract me from achieving my dream and I also still hold lingering WHAT THE HELL?!"
Zoro's sudden change in attitude nearly gave the crew whiplash. He followed his cry of outrage with throwing the gold ball back at Nami, who caught it while at the same time gaping like a goldfish. And she wasn't the only one- everyone on deck had similar incredulous expressions, even Luffy.
"Did... did that really just happen?" Usopp asked in disbelief.
Chopper hugged the sniper's leg. "Usopp, I'm scared."
Zoro jumped to his feet and stared at the hand that had been holding the ball. "What... what... what the hell just happened to me?! Why did I say all that?!" He glared at Nami. "What did you do me, witch?!"
Nami didn't reply. She was too busy trying to process everything she'd heard and was epically failing at it.
Luffy walked over to Zoro and pointed at the ball. "You see that ball Nami's holding? Usopp bought it at the market, and whoever holds it has to tell the truth. I guess you just proved it actually worked... so you really think Nami's pretty?"
Zoro's face reddened. He'd had some undignified moments over the years, but this one topped them all. How could that woman embarrass him like this! How would she like it if she were forced to admit something like that-
Hold on, Zoro thought. Luffy said whoever's holding the ball has to tell the truth, right? Nami's holding the ball right now.
Zoro grinned wickedly and crossed his arms. It was time for some payback. "Hey, Nami!"
Nami quickly shook herself out of her stupor. "Um, yeah?"
"Do you ever watch me when I train?"
"Occasionally. You always do it out in the open, so it's kind of hard not to," Nami replied offhandedly, as if commenting on the weather. "I pretend not to though because I know you'd never let me hear the end of it if you knew I thought your chest scar, pecs, and abs are all kind of sexy WHAT THE HELL?!"
After a similar fit of emotional whiplash, Nami pitched the ball away towards the galley door, just as Sanji was opening it.
"Nami-swan!~ Robin-chwan!~" Sanji practically sang as he stepped out, carrying a tray of pastries. "I have completed your afternoon tea snacks, for your-"
He was cut off as the ball smacked him in the forehead, knocking the chef back into the galley and forcing him to drop the tray of snacks. Luffy ran at an inhuman speed to where the snacks were falling over the railing, and caught said snacks in his stretched-out mouth. Usopp and Chopper both held up signs with the number ten on them.
Sanji ran out of galley and jumped to the deck, holding the ball and rubbing his forehead. He looked pissed. "What the heck? Who just throws a gold ball at someone's face?!"
Usopp, Chopper, and Luffy pointed at Nami and said in unison, "Nami did it!"
Sanji's demeanor went from angry to loving as he turned to Nami. "In that case, no harm done, Nami dear! I'm sure your reasons are justified!"
He stopped his twirling around long enough to notice Nami's face was pure red with an embarrassed blush. That was weird- Nami never looked embarrassed. And while he was thinking about it, the mosshead looked very uncomfortable. Not to mention the Goofy Trio looked like they were trying to hold in giggles.
"Oi, what's going on?" Sanji asked. "Why is everyone acting so strange?"
"Hey, Sanji, why you always cover one side of your face with your hair?" Chopper inquired with a chuckle.
"It's just the hairstyle I prefer. It's also convenient because my face looks too weird when both my eyebrows are showing, since my other eyebrow curls WHAT THE HELL?!"
Sanji hurled the ball at Luffy, who caught it in the middle of a laughing fit. Chopper and Usopp were also rolling around on the deck, chortling like lunatics.
"What was that?!" Sanji demanded to know.
"Truth ball," Zoro and Nami responded in monotone.
The chef raised a curly eyebrow. "Truth ball?"
"Usopp bought a ball in town today, and anyone who holds it has to tell the truth," Nami explained.
"Yeah!" Luffy confirmed chipperly. "Zoro admitted he think's Nami's pretty, and Nami admitted she likes to watch Zoro train!"
Sanji's eyes bugged out of his head. "WHAT?!"
"LUFFY!" Nami and Zoro hollered indignantly.
Sanji fell to his knees, a cloud of gloom and despair hanging over his head. From the way he was acting, you'd think someone had just told him that the All Blue didn't exist or that Zoro and Nami were going to elope. Judging from the current circumstances, it was most likely the latter rather than the former.
"This thing is really cool!" Luffy said excitedly, holding the ball up. "It makes you admit all sorts of weird stuff, like how I'm the one who ate all of the sea king meat in the middle of the night last week!" Luffy blinked. He looked at the ball quizzically. "Wow. This thing works fa-"
"I KNEW IT WAS YOU!" Sanji cried out, delivering a powerful kick into Luffy's gut.
The kick sent Luffy slamming into Usopp, knocking the latter overboard. Before anyone could react to that, the Nothing-But-The-Truth Sphere sailed through the air and landed hard on the deck. A single crack ran through it.
Chopper's eyes widened. "Uh, guys-?"
BOOMPH!
Robin had heard all of the ruckus above, but she didn't think much of it. So when she opened the trapdoor leading to the main deck, she found herself in a state that didn't often occur to her; she was surprised.
The Captain, Miss Navigator, Mr. Swordsmen, Mr. Cook, and Mr. Doctor were all caked from head to toe in glittering gold dust. They were all either rubbing it out of their eyes or spitting it out of their mouths. It reminded her of a story she read once- about a king who turned whatever he touched into gold.
"This is unexpected," she commented, pulling herself onto the Merry's deck. "Looks like I've missed quite a party."
Luffy spit again and stuck out his tongue. "Augghh... fis tahys so nasthy..."
Nami stared bitterly at her shirt. "This stuff better not stain my clothes..."
Chopper was running around in panicked circles. "It's in my fur, it's in my fur!"
Zoro and Sanji were now fighting. The chef was ranting about "he would never allow a muscled brute like him have an angel like Nami" and the swordsman was telling him that he could have that "greedy witch". Sanji was so infuriated that he hadn't even registered Robin's presence.
Noticing the absence of Longnose, Robin went over to the side and looked down. Usopp was floating in the water, an unamused expression gracing his features.
Robin chuckled. "Need a hand, Longnose?"
Usopp held up a hand. "Yes please."
"Alright. Cinco Fleur."
Five arms bloomed out of the side of Merry's hull and helped the sniper back on to the ship. Once he was over the railing, he took in the sight of his now very shiny crew.
"Yeesh, what happened to guys?" he asked. "You look like an arts and crafts store threw up on you."
Luffy glared at him. "Your stupid gold ball blew up!"
Robin blinked. "His what blew up?"
"Not that kind of gold ball!" Usopp shouted at the archaeologist. "He means the literally golden orb I bought in the market- wait, it blew up?!"
"It exploded into a cloud of gold dust, which is why we look like this," Nami said testily.
"You've got to be kidding me! I paid 500 berris for that thing!"
"You paid how much?!"
BONK!
Usopp crumpled to the deck, a huge lump on his head. Chopper shrieked and ran to his side with an icepack.
Sanji stopped fighting Zoro long enough to light a cigarette and try to dust off his body. "I suppose this probably for the best. That ball was way too much trouble."
"For once, I agree," Zoro agreed.
Robin had the strangest inclination that she had missed something, but didn't dwell into it. Going of off Zoro and Sanji's argument, the way Zoro and Nami wouldn't look each other in the eye, and Luffy's grumbling about how Sanji was stingy meanie, she decided she didn't want to know.
It was decided that the ball would be forgotten, and the rest of the afternoon was spent trying to get rid of all the gold dust on the crew and deck. The task was accomplished with heavy showering and deck-swabbing. The rest of night went normally, with Sanji making dinner and everyone going to bed (except Robin, but for her that was normal) or taking their watch soon after.
We thought that had been the end of the chaos. How wrong we were.
As soon as he finished writing that sentence, she swept the book from his grip.
"Hey!" he protested. "What was that for?!"
"I'm just making sure you didn't add any extraneous details," she replied. She glared at him icily. "Like certain truths told."
"Don't worry, I didn't. I want to forget those were said just as much as you do." He paused, then smiled teasingly. "By the way, want to take a break? I think Zoro's out training on the deck, so if you want to go watch..."
WHACK!
"SHUT UP!"
"OW! Can't you take a joke?!"
"I find it highly ironic that the liar on our crew didn't get affected by that truth ball! It's so unfair!"
Usopp rubbed his head and took the ship's log back. He guessed a break would have to wait.
Next Time: The nightmare of the Nothing-But-The-Truth Sphere continues as side effects from the gold dust appear.