"ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAAAS IS YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"
Yeah that's not copy right at all...
"DECK THE HALLS WITH BOUGHS OF FUCK ME! FALALALALLAALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
what?
"RUDOLPH, THE SHIT NOSED REINDEER!"
that's disgusting.
"FUCK MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
W-W-Wha...
"AWAY IN A SHITHOLE! THE BABY JESUS SLEPT! I FORGOT THE WORDS TO THIS CHRISTMAS CAROL! SO GO FUCK YOSELF!"
Bonnie, that's not how you sing that song.
"FUCK YOU TOO!"
...
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
"Pop! Goes the Puppet!"
"Hey! Good job! We made him explode!"
"Now how do we put his body parts back together again?"
"I dunno. I didn't know we'd get this far..."
...
"FUCK!"
A BIT OF TIME LATER...
Who fixed me? Because I'm fuckin- woah... hello...
I just got a boneeeer...
WOAH! Baby! Why you runnin' away? DON'T LEAVE ME! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
And that's how I lost my girlfriend.
"W-what? Paul, what the fudge is wrong with you?"
I don't know, Freddy. I just like scary and heart-stopping stories.
"That wasn't scary."
FUCK YOU, BONNIE! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT!
"Yeah, but-"
FUCK YOU, BONNIE!
"W-"
FUCK YOU, BONNIE!
...
"Alright, I'm leavin-"
FUCK YOU, BONNIE!
Ah! He's gone. And so is everyone else. I got no friends...
WHATEVER! WHO NEEDS 'EM!
I GOT YOU! AND... THAT'S ABOUT IT...
Ok... that's it. I don't even know why you're here.
Wait? Another Christmas story? NO WAY!
You liked my last one? OH, YES! FUCK, YEAH!
Ah, could you wait a second please? I gotta go kill Jeremy the 2nd.
Half an hour of screaming later...
Alright, he's dead. FREDDY! COME OVER HERE AND WIND UP THE FUCKING MUSIC BOX!
"NO!"
NO! YOU'RE GOING TO COME OVER HERE YOUNG MAN! COME OVER HERE AND WIND UP MY MUSIC! COME HERE!
OUCH!
*scuffle* *punch* *kick*
*OW!* *FUCK YOOU*
*punch* *kapow*
Alright, Freddy. SAY HELLO TO THE AUDIENCE! BEFORE I BEAT YOU UP AGAIN YOU MO'FUCKA!
"Helloooo..."
GOOD! NOW WIND UP THE MUSIC BOX!
...
NOT LIKE THAT! YOU'RE MEANT TO DO IT QUICKLY! NOT LIKE THAT YOU DICK! AGHHHH!
...
I-I'm sorry for a second. Uhh... Freddy just lost his head. I think I beat him up a little too much. Uhhh...
"HOLY SHIT! 'NETTE WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!?"
That wasn't my fault. I just wanted him to wind up the music box. Also, FUCK YOU, BONNIE!
...
Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop.
Wait. Why am I in a jail cell? Oh...
I killed a man.
HEY! SPARKY! COME OVER HERE YOU BITCH!
"I'm a man actually. I can't be a bitch."
I DON'T CARE! WIND UP MY MUSIC BOX! I CAN'T DO IT MYSELF!
"S-sure?"
So... what're you in for?
"Fuck that. I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm only here for the plot."
...
I'm here for murder. Murdering people is fun. I do it alot.
"I-I'm sorry? Wait, what are you doing with that cleaver... NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
That's one problem solved.
I WIN!
"DECK THE HALLS WITH JOLLY OF BOLLY UP MY ARSE! BECAUSE I CAN!"
BONNIE! HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET HERE!
"I dunno."
...
FUCK YOU, BONNIE!
Are we gonna start with the story? I kind of killed a man. 2 times.
"Oh yeah. I remember that. You killed Freddy."
Shut up, Bianca.
"MY NAME ISN'T BIANCA FOR GODS SAKE! I'M BONNIE! THE BUNNY OF THE ROCK! FUCK YOU BRAH! ROUNDHOUSE KIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!"
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*thunk*
Who knew Bonnie the Rockstar could pack such a punch.
Alright I'm going to faint now. Because this HURTS! FUCK YOU, BONNIE!
*faint*
Alright am I back? Good.
Wait... I'm in the middle of the desert. AND THERE'S NO ONE HERE!
YAS! I CAN NOW TELL YOU MY STORY!
So this one is about a Puppet. Like my last one. Except this is a different Puppet.
He was tortured to pull a fat man's sleigh.
Oh my god I actually just went 2 sentences into the story without Bonnie interrupting me.
I hate him.
"Actually I'm a girl."
HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET HERE!?
"I flew. With my ears."
So wait, you're telling me your not... what I thought you were?
"Wait, wait, wait... 'Nette. What the fuck did you think I was?"
A gay man.
...
"WHAT!? LISTEN TO MY FUCKING VOICE!"
I thought you hadn't gone through puberty yet.
"I-I... what!? Why do you think...?"
Because you're gay.
*facepalm*
"Why do you think my name was Bianca when I was a child?"
You had your name legally changed.
"P-Paul, what is Chica?"
A girl.
"What am I?"
A boy that had their name legally changed that hasn't gone through puberty yet that is gay.
...
"I-I'm not even surprised... COME HERE YOU LITTLE BITCH!"
RUUUUUUUNNn!
I RAN AWAY!
RUUUN!
BONNIE'S GONNA KILL ME!
Wait...
*slowly holds up walkie-talkie*
White-face to BB
White-face to BB.
CAN YOU HEAR ME!?
"YAY! Balloons!"
BB STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR STUPID BALLOONS AND HELP ME HERE!
"What do you want, 'Nette."
CALL DOWN AN AIRSTRIKE ON BONNIE!
"Why?"
BECAUSE I SAID SO!
"Why?"
JUST DO IT!
"Why?"
...
"Why? Oh, wait. He's dead."
...
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!
I DON'T HAVE ARMS.
SHE TORE OFF MY FUCKIN' LEGS!
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*ded not pig soup rice...*
Fuck this. I'm trying to tell a nice story, but people are being dicks.
FUCK YOU, BONNIE!
FUCK YOU, BONNIE!
AND FUCK YOU, BB!
...
Good. I'm leaving now. I hate you bastards.
What is wrong with me. Heh... hope you guys liked that. SPIFFING CHAPTER IF I DO SO SAY MYSELF! Exquisite wine.
Puppet thought Bonnie was a gay man. BB didn't call in the balloon airstrike. Sparky died. And so did Freddy. Good job, Puppet. Good job.
Well I'm sorry!
FUCK YOU, PUPPET!