Cuecards

She's on the final sign when the doorbell rings. The camera isn't focused at her face because her face isn't sure of the words she has written, isn't completely sure she hates him enough to want him dead though. Her hands don't shake though, she takes that as a sign. The shake when the doorbell wrings again, her jaw slips open. "I'm busy come back later."

"Juliet it's me."

Oh god god god. She carefully and quickly turns the signs over and being as quite as she can. "Ben I'm in the middle of something right now, if you could come back later-"

"That's fine Juliet, nothing urgent I just wanted to return your book." His voice is innocent enough that she knows she still has a chance, he doesn't know yet. Does he?

The breath is completely out of her, completely gone. In two seconds he's going to ask to come in and she doesn't know what she's going to say. She carefully takes the camera off the tri-pod and puts it underneath a pillow, also slipping the poster boards behind the couch. They stick up like little white flags behind it. She looks at the tri-pod in bewilderment. "Hold on a second Ben-"

The door opens, and she whirls so that she's standing right in front of the tripod, her legs blocking it perfectly. She doesn't move but tries to still look relaxed. "Hey," she says weakly, smiling.

"Hello," his gaze sweeps over the room, and she isn't sure if his eyes catch the tips of the poster boards or not. His expression softens. She doesn't know what that means, but something has changed, he has noticed something different.

He takes a step closer to her and she can't move away because of the tripod. She waits for him to hand her the book, but he doesn't. Instead he takes an even closer step until his nose is almost even with hers. She feels all the breath she didn't know she had woosh out of her. He takes her hand and moves her fingers around the spine of it. His hands are so firm, but still so gentle. She cannot move, except for where he puts her fingers around the spine. Then slowly, easily, he presses the book into her abdomen, his fingers lingering a little bit on the edges of her shirt. She tries to hold back a shiver, but fails. She knows that they are close enough that he can feel it. He smiles.

And she knows he knows. "What are you filming Juliet?"

"Just a film diary," she says quietly, stepping away from the tri-pod, from him. No need to keep it a secret any longer if he's already seen. She looks non-chalantly at the kitchen and the smell of freshly baked muffins. "But I'm not anymore I guess," she smiles and he smiles back, openly, "would you like a muffin?"

"That would be wonderful," he says kindly sitting down on the couch, right in front of the posterboards.

She turns around moving into the kitchen and breathes a sigh of relief. She must of caught Ben of guard. She's safe now. She looks at the muffins still steaming, and takes two, putting them each on a small purple paisley patterned plate. "Their Banana, I hope you don't mind, I know you prefer Blueberry." Her tongue is freed by feeling of safety, and her brain constrained by guilt. She needs to say something anything.

She turns back into the dining room.

"Dangerous maybe Juliet, but a liar?"

She drops the plates, they both shatter perfectly. The muffins tumble through the pieces of porcelain, and shards of little blue glass. Ben frowns at them from over the white poster-board that he's holding up.

"Ben, I-I can explain." But she can't she really doesn't know what else to say and if he saw through her other excuses he obviously will see through this one.

He turns the next card and stoically reads, "Ben isn't going to keep his promise about the submarine Jack, so you might as well make a mistake. It will look like an accident; it is after all, a very complicated procedure." He looks at her through raised eyebrows and she finds herself unable to move, "not very eloquent is it Juliet."

He takes a small breath, and flips over the next poster, and continues reading. "Jack if you kill Ben there is a submarine we can use, both of us could run and get Sayid who could operate it. It might make things more difficult, but please you have to do this for me. I've been on this for two years and the only thing I've learned is he doesn't let anyone go that he doesn't want to. And letting you go would be a sign of weakness, he's not going to keep his promise."

"You started in the middle," she says flatly. She knows that the first few placards will hardly redeem her but she has to say it anyways. "I begin by saying ignore everything I'm saying."

Fittingly Ben ignores her and continues flipping on to the last card. "Jack this entire time Ben has been manipulating you, you as well as me. He wanted you to find the x-rays because he knew that he didn't have time to "break you". He wanted you to see him in weakness so you wouldn't suspect a longer con and would learn to see him as a human being. And that's why he brought you to Colleen's funeral, to show you me confirming this from a distance. From the beginning Jack he's been twisting everything you've seen here. He wanted me to remind you of your ex-wife so that you would feel sympathy towards us, towards me. But it's reciprocated Jack, what we've done to you is terrible, inexcusable, your friends too, that's why I'll help you Jack, if you'll help me. We have to kill Benjamin Linus." He doesn't take anytime to slow down or to breathe but plows through it mechanically. She can't bear to watch him and looks down at her feet. There is a long silence where they just breathe, well he just breaths. Breathing has gotten harder for Juliet, almost close to impossible.

He puts the posters down on the floor and stands up. She looks to his pocket, expecting him to reach for his walkie or for his gun. This is the end she knows, she doesn't want her last memories to be of this, of them like this. "For what it's worth," she says coldly, "I'm sorry Ben."

"Sit down Juliet," and his voice is almost kind though there is a hard edge of coldness. She looks at the couch nervously. If he hadn't just found her betraying him she would have demanded he just get it over with, kill her, imprison, her now. He raises his eyebrows and she sits down, meaning to scoot away from him once she sits down but he gives her a look and once again she doesn't move.

They are sitting knee to knee and she is remembered of book club meetings when they once sat like this. "I'm not yours Ben anymore, you can't expect to destroy everything I love and then still have something that ended long ago. You can't have really thought—"

"Of course not Juliet," he said calmly, touching her knee and she didn't move away, how could she? "But killing me, isn't that a little extreme."

"I wasn't really going to show it to him." It's amazing how easy it is to lie to him. However before she even finishes her sentence his eyes are already darkening.

"And you call me the liar Juliet. I know what you did and why you did it. All that remain are the consequences."

"Are you going to take away my TV privileges," she said angrily, the fear wearing off. So what if he was going to kill her, it didn't matter anymore.

"No, Juliet," he began seriously, perturbed at her nonchalance, "but you didn't let me finish. It's not so disturbing that you want to kill me, though it is unfortunate. What is more disturbing is that you actually have come to care for Jack Shepard. You don't really think he cares for you Juliet."

"He's been cooperative so far," she retorted.

"Because he's still in love with his ex-wife Juliet, not you. Though I admit your sentiment to run off and, what was it?, retrieve the submarine and save his friends was admirable. I'm sure it would take a lot less to impress him," Ben said coolly.

"It doesn't matter Ben who loves me and who doesn't, at least it shouldn't to you." Her hands pretzel themselves and she can see Goodwin's pale face, stricken with patches of aged coagulated blood.

"We already know that's not true Juliet." He says quietly. He move his hand to hers, to stroke it. For a moment she lets him, remembering a day when even an implication of his approval would have thrilled her. When discussing with him books was just a discussion of books, not a power play. But then she pulls her hand away, scoots over and looks him in the eye.

His gaze hardens. "Here is what is going to happen Juliet. You are going to show Shepard the tape, with some edits of course. He wouldn't even be able to read those note cards they are so cluttered. You don't think he really wants to hear your whole story does he. You will convince him to kill me, he won't follow you of course because he doesn't trust you much less care for you that much. He will, however, try and kill me in order to save his friends, then you will let his friends free. Then I will promise both you and Jack a ride on a submarine."

Her eyes light up in hope, maybe this was all she needed to do all along, do something unforgivable so that he would just want to be rid of her. Was he really going to let her go home?

"But you will foil this Juliet. I want you to plant some C-4 on the submarine. I have a suspicion that it won't be necessary but it will be a nice back-up plan. Then you will return with Jack to their camp, and give me reports on the pregnant woman. You will tell Jack of your betrayal at some point, and then, and only then, will he come to see you as fully one of them.

And then you will kill him Juliet. You will take him to the Tempest and you will set off the gas chambers within killing him. I don't care how you get him there just do it.

And if you don't which I'm sure you've already speculated about, we will kill Rachel.

And then if you still haven't killed Jack Shepard we will kill Julien.

Finally, and only then once we have killed both of them Juliet I will come for you."