A/N: Wow. I got home from mowing my grandpa's lawn to like thirty emails with reviews or people adding the story to their watch and favorite lists. I'm very, very grateful and appreciative, and will do my best to make the story as good as it is in my twisted little mind. :)

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The boggart looked down at its pretty body appreciatively, and then sighed as it returned to its former nothingness. It flitted back into the tap to wait for its next victim while wondering why that was the dour, frightening Professor's fear. Ah well, diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks... and Snape sure is diff'rent.

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The real Hermione Granger, was, of course, snuggled safely in her bed in the Head Girl's room. She twisted beneath her sheets, her hands clenched into fists in her hair as her subconscious formulated a dream unlike she had ever had before...

DREEEEAM! oooo

She was looking at a room with stone walls, a king sized four-poster bed with lavish satin sheets and goose down pillows. Suddenly she walked in. Apparently she was to be a spectator and a participant in this dream. The dream Hermione was dressed in a slinky, sexy, scarlet gown that hugged every curve her school robes conveniently forgot was there, and on her dainty feet she wore vibrant red stilettos. She seated herself on the bed as though she was very familiar and comfortable in it, and then waved her wand. The music that started to play left the real Hermione helpless in her laughter- "I'm Too Sexy" performed by Alvin and the Chipmunks.

That laughter died immediately when none other that Professor Severus Snape strutted into the room wearing black leather pants and a Chippendale collar.

She watched, appalled and somewhat intrigued, as he moved closer to the dream Hermione, thrusting his pelvis back and forth and even putting his hands behind his head and gyrating like a rap music video extra. He turned around, and reached for the cuffs of his pants, then ripped them away with one smooth motion, revealing a shiny silver men's thong.

Hermione would have fallen if she had been a solid manifestation in the dream.

He turned around and grinned as the dream Hermione laughed hysterically at the miniature bow tie emblazoned on the thong, then moved forward as gracefully and quickly as a panther to pin her to the mattress.

Hermione awoke with a loud, "FUCK!"

But she only added "me" in her mind.

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A/N: Heh. Well, again, it's late, and I have an interview in the morning! Wish me luck and I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. :wink: