Author's Note: Hello again! So, that initial chapter was definitely meant to be a one-shot, but I decided to continue... because I could. Again, the chapter is unedited, so all mistakes are mine. Sorry that it's significantly shorter than the first chapter, but I'm thinking I might keep going, so let me know if you guys want to keep reading! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Pretty Little Liars.

Something was beeping. Loudly.

I tried to roll over and pull my pillow over my ear, but there was something wrapped around my waist, preventing me from doing so. My eyes popped open in alarm, moving to my lower abdomen where a tanned arm encircled my stomach. Following the arm up to its owner, I finally realized that it was Emily who was holding me. I let out a brief sigh of relief before the events from the night before came flooding back into my hazy memory.

Last night had been an absolute mess. Or rather, I had been an absolute mess.

Never before in my life had I made myself more vulnerable to someone than I had been to Emily just hours before, and I felt like the shame was going to eat me alive. After everything that Em had gone through, from losing Alison and Maya to A crashing a car into her house to her Dad's heart problems, the last thing she needed to worry about was me of all people. I should have been protecting her, not crying and calling her in the middle of the night because I couldn't handle my own shit.

"Mmmm, Spence, turn off your alarm, that has to be the most annoying thing I've ever heard," my best friend mumbled adorably before snuggling even further into me and tightening her grip.

"That's going to be pretty difficult while you're wrapped around me like a freaking koala, Em," I chuckled, reaching up to push a strand of hair out of her face as I stared at her expectantly.

"You're a super genius, you'll figure something out," she offered nonchalantly, not loosening her grip even the tiniest bit. I could feel the grin that stretched across her face after she nuzzled into my neck and I suddenly had the urge to shiver. She must have found a ticklish spot or something.

I did eventually figure out how to turn off my alarm without jostling her too much, and then I just lay there, trying not to think about how embarrassed I was about my break down the night before. No matter what I said last night, I couldn't cope with laying all of my problems on Emily, and there was certainly no way in hell I was giving up doing everything I could to protect my friends. The pills were one thing, one very bad thing that I needed to beat, but my borderline neuroticism had protected us for a long time, and I didn't know what would happen to us if I let that go.

"You think too much, Spence. Go back to sleep," Emily ordered, pulling away just enough that she could look me in the eye. The joking was gone from her voice and she appeared genuinely concerned. All I wanted to do was bring the lightness back to our morning. She had dealt with enough of my darkness the night before.

"We super geniuses do that a lot, you know? Think, I mean," I explained with a laugh, grinning at her in an attempt to remove the deadly serious look on her face.

"I thought we talked about this last night, Spence. You don't have to be Superwoman for me. You don't have to try so hard to be okay when I know you're not," Em stated in the voice I had come to call authoritative-Em. She didn't take charge often, but she was serious about it when she did, and I had a hard time not doing exactly as she told me when she used that tone.

Feeling extremely uncomfortable with the direction of our conversation, and unsure I could pull myself out of it if it went much further, I gently extracted myself from my best friend's arms and sat up against the headboard, my arms crossed in front of my chest defensively. Hurt flashed across Emily's face as I pulled away from her, and I wanted to cry all over again. If there was one person in the world that I would do absolutely anything to keep from harm, it was the girl lying next to me.

"Listen, I'm sorry about last night, Em. I was in a really bad place, but I never should have asked you to come over in the middle of the night, and I'm okay now, honestly, I am," I argued softly, using my best decathlon voice in an attempt to exude infinitely more confidence than I actually felt.

Unfortunately, that only seemed to make the situation even worse.

Anger replaced the hurt in Emily's eyes as she pulled herself up next to me. She turned her body to face me, pulling one leg underneath her as she did so, and glared at me meaningfully before she spoke.

"We are not going to fight over this again, Spence. We agreed last night that our friendship meant too much to us to let lies and petty bullshit get in the way, and I am holding you to that. I promise that I will come to you with anything that is bothering me, but you have to swear to do the same. I'm not going to lose my best friend to your stupid pride, do you understand me?"

Her voice was tense and angry, but there were tears in her eyes as well, and I was unsure how to react. There was no way for me to just shut off my pride, I was a Hastings after all, but I wanted so badly to be able to do as she asked. I wanted Emily to come to me with everything that was bothering her, and I wanted to be okay with bringing my problems to her as well, but somehow it just wasn't as simple as all that.

"Are you going to be angry with me if I say I'll try?" I asked tentatively, not quite able to look her in the face.

Emily just cocked a disbelieving eyebrow at me, as if daring me to continue.

"Just hear me out, okay? I really want to be able to be open with you and share everything, but I'm a Hastings, Emily. In my family, emotions are weakness, and to show them is to make yourself vulnerable. Logically, I understand that that's not actually true or how the world works at all, but it's really difficult to act contrary to what you've been conditioned to believe all your life. That, and the one time I let myself experience my emotions fully, I literally went crazy and ended up in Radley. I'm so scared that if I let myself be open, that could happen all over again. I don't know that I could survive that again."

It had taken a lot for me to be so honest, and all I could do afterward was cry while stubbornly avoiding my best friend's gaze.

"Hey, hey, you're okay, look at me Spence," Emily requested softly, pulling my face up so she could look straight in my eyes while she spoke. "You did not go crazy. You were hurting, Spencer. You thought you lost someone that you loved deeply, and you were in pain. I know that pain, Spence. I've felt it, and it was probably only because you refused to leave my side that I didn't end up in Radley myself.

And as far as your family and their messed up values go, they can go screw themselves. You are absolutely perfect Spencer, if incredibly stubborn, and it's their loss if they can't see or appreciate how wonderful you are as is. I know that you're not going to magically be able to change into someone bubbly and truthful to a fault, and I don't want you to. All I'm asking is that you try to be more open and honest with me, just me if that's all you're comfortable with, and not let all that stress and desire for perfection bottle up inside you until it explodes like it did last night. Like it did with the pills."

All I could do was grin as tears continued to roll down my cheeks. Emily pulled me close and hugged me tightly; I could feel the tears she was crying fall on my neck as she nuzzled into it once more, and that only made me cry harder. So we sat there, crying together, and I had never felt so relieved in my life. I had someone who genuinely accepted me for exactly who I was, and I could honestly say that there was not a better feeling in the world.

"Thank you, Em," I offered sincerely, pulling away a bit to look at her.

"Anytime. Honestly, Spence," she returned softly, reaching up to wipe the tears from my cheeks before throwing me a devilish grin. "Now, how about I play the bad influence and convince perfect super genius Spencer Hastings to skip school today so we can get some more sleep?"

Emily just laughed when I raised my eyebrow at her, but I could tell she was serious when she scooted back down under the covers and motioned for me to do the same. Rolling my eyes, I complied with her silent request and moved back under the covers as well, acknowledging to myself that I was too exhausted to deal with classes and high school for the day. The books would keep.

"Ah, well, I guess I'd have to say you convinced the super genius to follow your terrible influence. You can be quite persuasive when you want to me, Ms. Fields," I added playfully, grinning at her as she moved to place her head on my shoulder and her strong arm fell across my waist once more.

I felt safe, for the first time in a long time.

"Mmmm, well good, because super geniuses make superb pillows, Ms. Hastings," Emily joked lightly, already half asleep with me following not too far behind.