Now in her second trimester, Jade has not warmed up to the idea of having Eric's baby in the slightest. Nothing has changed between them, though both wish things were different. Warnings: angst and profanity.
***Disclaimer***
This chapter will touch on a hot-button issue. My personal stance is that it is ***ALWAYS*** a woman's right to choose for her own body, and that won't change. If you are bothered/offended by abortion, I would suggest skipping this particular segment.
Emmy
Jade opens her eyes slowly, as the buzzing of the alarm begins to sound. "Shit," she mumbles, turning over and tapping the snooze button. A few more minutes pass, then the damn annoying screech sounds again. With a loud sigh, she slowly sits up, bracing herself for the instant nausea she's sure will follow. She takes several deep breaths, grimacing as the first wave is felt.
Jade reaches for the hair tie on her nightstand, quickly making her way to the bathroom. She makes it just in time, emptying what little contents of her stomach she has. As it starts to subside, she shakes her head in disgust. "Well, at least I only threw up three times instead of six," she mutters.
She expected morning sickness, but what she didn't expect was around-the-clock sickness. For the past few months, she's literally had to plan her day around her nausea. She's forced herself to eat what little she could, knowing about a half hour would pass before she had to run to the bathroom. All her friends have told her that the first baby is the worst, and that it eventually passes. They keep telling her that it gets better in the second trimester, but Jade isn't so sure.
After all…this baby's father is Eric Coulter, and like-father-like child, her life is made to be a living Hell.
As Jade brushes her teeth, an attack of grief abruptly comes over her. She looks down at the sink, squeezing her eyes shut and willing her sudden tears to go away. "Stop it, you pussy," she commands herself, shaking her head forcefully.
She hasn't spoken to Eric since the day he stormed out of her office, and she's avoided him at all cost since. He seemed to take her seriously, ceasing all contact and leaving her alone. She was surprised at first, but then bitter realization hit; of course he accepted her decision. He doesn't want this baby any more than she does, but he's the one with the convenience to walk away.
She's the one that's stuck…and there's nothing she can do about it.
Jade wasn't bluffing that day. The moment the word 'pregnant' popped up on the digital reader in the exam room, she knew this was something she didn't want. Her first thought was to immediately make an appointment at the Erudite clinic, but then the doubt started. Once done, it can't be undone…would she regret it later? But after the confrontation in her office, her mind was then made up.
If she kept this baby, scenes like that is what she could look forward to for the next eighteen years, and maybe even longer. Stuck in a highly combative situation, where everything would turn into an argument, while being forced to co-parent with a man that destroyed her heart.
No fucking thank you.
Her blowup with Eric convinced her that terminating her pregnancy was the best thing for all involved, so as soon as she got home, she made the appointment. She wanted this over and done with as soon as possible, and rid of the last binding tie to Eric Coulter she'd ever have. But as it turned out, she really didn't have a say in the matter. When she went to have the procedure done, things didn't quite go as planned.
Jade rubs her temple, the headache she always gets when thinking of her situation beginning to throb. Feeling the familiar surge of anger starting to rise, she tries to force herself to calm down. As she starts to feel dizzy, she takes several deep breaths while willing herself not to get sick again. Splashing her face with cold water, her mind drifts back to the day she was given some horrifying news; she's not afforded the same freedom of choice over her own fucking body, as other Dauntless women.
As the Erudite doctor entered her exam room with a pensive expression and her chart in hand, she immediately felt a sense of dread. He gave her a tight-lipped smile, nodding to the nurse at her side. "That won't be necessary," he said quietly, as she began to prepare the medication. "I need to speak with you outside."
Jade glanced between them, frowning in confusion as the nurse followed the doctor outside her door. She came back in a moment later, taking a deep, anxious breath.
"Ms. Crawford…the doctor needs to see you in the consultation room."
"Why? What's wrong?"
"I'm not certain, but you'll need to get dressed and meet him in there. I'll wait for you outside."
She turned and left before Jade could inquire any further. She hurriedly slipped out of her patient gown, pulling her clothes back on. The nurse led her down a row of offices, stopping at the third one. The doctor was seated at his desk, looking nervous as the nurse closed the door behind Jade.
"What's going on? What's wrong?" Jade demanded with no other preamble, sitting down across from him. The doctor folded his hands in front of him, sighing as he met her eye. He decided to get straight to the point, wanting this exchange to be over with quickly.
"Ms. Crawford…we are not going to be able to complete the termination, unfortunately."
A weight dropped in her stomach, as she leaned forward. "Just why the fuck not," she growled. The doctor jumped slightly but cleared his throat and picked up her chart. He takes another deep breath, opening the folder.
"There are several obstacles, I'm afraid. The first being…we ran your bloodwork through medical and genetic coding, and it states the paternal match to the fetus is Eric Coulter, whom is a Dauntless Councilman."
"The father is not in the picture, and not anyone's business…so what does that have to do with anything?" Jade snaps, not liking where this is going. The doctor presses on before he loses his nerve.
"Universal faction law states that if a genetic match is made to a faction council leader, both parental units will need to agree to terminate before the procedure can be performed." Jade's eyes round in disbelief. "But we aren't married…we aren't even together. Regardless of that, it's my fucking body, therefore the decision is mine," she hisses after a long moment, feeling her temper rise. The doctor swallows thickly, sitting a little farther back.
"Normally that would be the case Ms. Crawford…but not in this one. The father is a council leader, and without his express permission to proceed, we can't do the termination-"
"Oh, the fuck you can't! A fucking title does not give him the right to decide for my fucking body!" Jade screams, all composure gone. She leaps out of her seat, slamming her fists on the table. "Look," she growls, glowering down at him. "This man has ruined enough of my life already, he doesn't get to do it anymore. He obviously got to you first and forced you to give me this load of bullshit."
With a lethal glare, Jade grits her teeth and leans forward. "He does not get to decide for me, this is my choice and I've made it. No one has a say over my body but me." The deadliness of her tone sends chills down his spine, but the doctor doesn't back down.
"I'm sorry Ms. Crawford, but that's simply not the case here. The law is the law….and no one in this medical facility will perform the procedure to terminate a faction leader's child, without the express consent of the faction leader."
Jade stared him down for a long, hard moment, but the doctor doesn't flinch. She slowly sits down, willing herself to remain composed. "So if I can get him to consent, we can proceed then?" She finally asks, clenching her jaw. The doctor looks away for a second, then back at her chart. Jade's heart beats faster as he finally meets her gaze.
"Normally, yes…but we still would not be able to proceed due to the second obstacle."
"What obstacle?"
The doctor looks at her squarely, pointing toward her file. "Ms. Crawford…you're aware of the genetic condition you share with your mother, I assume?" he finally asks. Jade shakes her head, knowing immediately where he's going.
"That has nothing to do with anything…"
"On the contrary, it unfortunately makes you ineligible for this termination."
"The fuck are you talking about, 'ineligible'? What the fuck would it have to do with anything?"
Not used to the profanity used by Dauntless women, the doctor blanches at the crude language. "Ms. Crawford, let me reiterate that these rules are not my own…but I'm bound by the laws of my faction to abide by them. After Jeanine Matthews was executed, the Bureau was put in power to purge the corruption from the Erudite council. However, they agreed with one proposal Jeanine had enacted while in office. The Bureau upheld her mandate that anyone in society possessing genetic traits deemed useful in research and development was automatically…exempt…from certain liberties normally afforded to the others," he begins. Jade waves her hand in irritation, cutting him off.
"But I'm not Divergent, nor do I possess some sort of super-human gene! Besides, Jeanine is dead! She has no say over anything any longer…"
"It doesn't matter, Ms. Crawford…you are classified as genetic rarity; therefore, you are deemed ineligible for fetal termination."
Jade simply stared in disbelief, unable to process. "So, what you're saying is that because your fucked-up faction views brain damage…which is what Urbach-Wiethe Disease is…again, disease, not some sort of gift…I have no say over my own body? Simply because I don't have the ability to feel fear, I have to have a child I don't want?" she murmurs incredulously. Staring at her blankly, the doctor simply shrugged while nodding.
"To put it frankly, Ms. Crawford…yes."
No amount of threatening and eventual begging was able to sway things in her favor. When she stormed out of the clinic and made her way toward Dauntless, her fate finally sank in. Like it or not, she was stuck.
She's actually going to have Eric Coulter's child….and she'll never be free of him for the rest of her life.
Later that day, Jade makes her way to the dining hall, scouring the crowd for her friends. She spots Leah, her daughter and Rachel sitting at one of the tables near the back. She makes her way toward them, chuckling as she comes upon the daily battle Leah faces with her toddler.
"Maci!" Leah shrieks, as her three-year-old throws her carrots on the floor. "No mommy…yucky," the girl declares stubbornly, shaking her head in refusal. Leah scowls at her daughter, determined to get her to eat at least one.
"Maci, just eat one for Mommy…"
"No…yucky…."
"I'll make you a deal…you eat half of one, and you can have ice cream after dinner tonight."
Maci narrows her eyes suspiciously, the sea-green shade she shares with her father darkening. "Three bites," she counters, not realizing that's half the carrot anyway. She wrinkles her nose, picking up the smallest carrot she can find. Leah smiles at her little girl, as she makes a big dramatic production of eating the hated vegetable. Pinching her nose between her thumb and forefinger, she takes smallest bites she can.
"Auntie Jade!" she cries excitedly, holding her arms out as she spots her favorite aunt. Jade smiles at the little girl, scooping her in her arms as she sits down. "Hey baby girl," she greets the toddler, planting a kiss on her forehead. She opens her mouth in mock surprise, reaching for one of the carrots. "Mmm….can I have one of these please? They're my absolute favorite," she asks, as Maci furrows her brow.
"Aunt Jade, you like carrots? I think they're yucky…"
"Oh no way! Carrots are delicious! They also make you really strong…"
"They do?"
"They sure do. If you want to be healthy and strong, you have to eat vegetables…they made me strong. That's the reason I came in first in initiation."
Maci's eyes light up. "Aunt Jade you won? You were the best?" Jade nods her head. "I sure did…and if my mommy hadn't made me eat them when I was your age, I wouldn't have."
Understanding dawns on the little girl's face. she picks up another carrot, holding it gingerly between her fingers. "I want to be strong like my Aunt Jade. Mommy, can I still have ice cream after dinner?" she asks hopefully, putting them in her mouth. Leah smiles at her daughter, casting a grateful glance at Jade.
"Of course you can honey. I'll have Daddy pick some up on his way home."
"Yay! Can I have chocolate?"
"You sure can…and if you finish all your carrots, you can have strawberry too."
With an excited squeal, Maci hurriedly begins stuffing the rest of them in her mouth. Leah shakes her head wryly.
"You really are superwoman," she laughs. "Brady and I have been trying to get her to eat something other than peanut butter and jelly for months now. In true Dauntless child fashion, she's made it a fight to the death. Should've brought her idol in sooner." Jade shrugs with a half-smile.
"She reminds me a lot of me at that age. My mom had to threaten to not take me to the gun range if I didn't eat my peas. Make sure you're checking her socks to make certain she isn't hiding them in there. That was my method for a while."
Rachel rolls her eyes. "My boys will eat anything you put in front of them…their stomachs are bottomless pits. Between the two them and Sebastian, I'm lucky to keep food in our pantry for a week. No wonder they say girls are easier," she laughs. Leah shrugs, twisting her wedding ring on her finger.
"Girls are not easier…especially Dauntless girls. Stubborn, headstrong and don't scare easily. Not to mention, Maci has Brady wrapped around her little finger. He might be a hard-ass Dauntless official, but he's no match for those big green eyes. Daddy's girl is putting it mildly. At least boys aren't picky eaters…."
"Well yeah, but at least there's not farting contests every minute, and toys all over the floor, constant fights, and…."
A lump forms in Jade's throat, as she listens to them continue their debate. What they don't realize, is that even though their kids come with challenges, at least they aren't alone. They're both in stable marriages, with children that will grow up with both parents.
"Fine, neither of us win," Rachel finally ends with a laugh. Something occurs to her, and she turns to Jade with a curious gaze.
"Wait…you never told us what you're having…"
"Because I don't know."
"But…you're in your second trimester…they should've told you by now."
"If you say so."
Rachel and Leah glance at each other. ""Are you waiting until you deliver to find out?" Jade looks down, taking a small bite of her biscuit. "No…I haven't asked." She feels her friends' disbelieving eyes on her, making her look up.
"When's your next appointment?" Leah asks excitedly, a strange look on her face. Jade shrugs, not understanding why they're so excited all of a sudden.
"Two days."
"Will you have an ultrasound?"
"Probably…I've had one almost every appointment."
"Make sure you get one of the images…"
"Why? I'll just ask and tell you what they say."
Rachel and Leah immediately open their mouths in protest. "No! Don't tell us…we'll reveal it at the baby shower!" Leah exclaims, an excited gleam in her eye. Rachel nods enthusiastically, pulling out her phone to take notes. "Yes, we can do a betting pool, and then announce it then, that's perfect!"
Jade inhales sharply, whipping her eyes up to her friends. "Absolutely not," Jade vows firmly, shaking her head. The smiles drain from Leah and Rachel's faces, as they glance at each other. "What do you mean?" Leah asks gently, alarmed at the sudden look of pain in Jade's expression.
"I'm not having a baby shower…out of the question."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want one, simple as that."
"Jade, you have to have a baby shower…you'll need things for the nursery…"
"I can get them myself, and I'll worry about that when it's time to."
Taken aback by the cold anger in her voice, an uncomfortable silence falls over them. Rachel decides to be the one to poke the bear. "Jade…don't you want to be prepared?"
Jade's temper finally erupts. "No," she hisses, throwing her hands in the air. "I don't ….I don't want a baby shower, when this is not a cause for celebration for me! I refuse to sit in a room surrounded by everyone talking about this baby like it's the greatest thing to ever happen, when it's anything but! I refuse to pretend to celebrate something that has ruined my fucking life! Being trapped for life in this fucking nightmare, should not be commemorated with fucking streamers and cake!" she cries desperately, bursting into tears.
At a loss for words, Rachel and Leah simply stare with their mouths open. "Jade…we're sorry…we didn't mean to push…" Leah finally says quietly, touching Jade's shoulder. Rachel takes a deep breath, giving her an imploring look. "No, we certainly didn't...we know you aren't happy about this. We were just trying to give you a little something to look forward to…." She trails off, as Jade finally gets herself in check.
"I'm so-so sorry," Jade hiccups, wiping her eyes. "I don't mean to be a bitch, I know you guys mean well. It's just that everyone keeps telling me that I'm so 'blessed' and how happy they are for me…when I'm not. I'm tired of being told that this is such a good thing, when to me, it's the worst thing that could possibly happen. They say that because this isn't happening to them…It's happening to me. I'm the one being forced to have a child I don't want, with a man that broke my heart. With a man I'd hoped I'd never have anything to do with ever again. So no…I'm not 'blessed'…I'm fucking stuck. I'm stuck in this nightmare, and stuck with the parting souvenir Eric left on his way out of my life," Jade laments, feeling a fresh set of tears threaten.
Rachel gazes at her sympathetically. "When's the last time you spoke to Eric?" she asks quietly, knowing she needs to tread very lightly right now. Jade shakes her head. "Not since that day in my office, when he found out and confronted me. As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing left to say after that. He made his position clear, and I made mine. That's the end of it."
Leah arches her brow. "It's been months, and you're carrying his child…he really hasn't asked about the baby at all?" Disgust creeps in her tone. Jade sighs, shaking her head.
"It's not like he gives a shit, or ever will. Why would he? He's probably relieved, acting as though nothing ever happened."
The punching bag swings violently, thrashing against the heavy pummeling it's receiving. With sweat pouring down his body, Eric continues to kick and punch, not caring that his knuckles are raw and bloody. He barely feels it. Strangely, the pain feels good. He can't stop. Finally, the bag breaks right off the chain from the force of his blows, landing with a heavy thud. Eric stops for a moment, closing his eyes as he exhales, placing his hands on his knees.
"Fuck," he whispers to himself. It didn't work…it never does. It's like the last hour he's spent working out did nothing to relieve him.
He sits down on the bench, dragging a towel across his face. As he tries to catch his breath, his mind wanders to it's usual place. An onslaught of fresh rage comes over him, the last words Jade spoke to him echoing in his mind relentlessly.
I don't need or want you around….
Eric stalks to the towel bin, tossing it haphazardly. After leaving the gym, he stalks his way through the Pit as he heads home. The palm scanner reads his hand, then he presses the button for his penthouse. As the car carries him upwards, he tries to shake his bad mood. Even though it's been months since he confronted Jade about the pregnancy, he can't get her out of his head. He's still every bit as enraged and distraught now, as he was the day he came home and discovered she'd left.
The mid-fall sunset bathes the room in a brilliant orange glow, as he unlocks his door and heads to his bathroom to shower. As he walks through, the familiar haunting feeling comes over him, making him shake his head. Memories of that fateful night and it's aftermath once more attack him, reigniting the anger he feels at himself for fucking things up so badly.
His hearts pangs with regret and confusion, still trying to figure out to this day how things spun so out of control.
Things had been very tense and strained for him on a professional level for a long time, leading up to that night. Once Jeanine's plan was exposed, as well as Max and Eric's subplot to double-cross her and restore order to the city, things had moved at warp speed. The Bureau had stepped in, declaring Dauntless the head of government while the whole hierarchy of their society was restructured.
Eric had been under a lot of pressure, given even more responsibilities and added work load straining him to the max….and things hadn't been much better at home.
He knows he'd been an insufferable asshole, snapping at Jade and taking out his stress on her. They'd been fighting on and off over stupid shit, usually by him getting angry over something innocuous, and Jade reaching her absolute limit with his tantrums. Things finally came to a head that night, ending in irreparable damage to his life.
What started out as a simple disagreement, quickly escalated into a full-blown, all out screaming match that turned ugly in rapid time.
On a rare night he actually had to spend with her, he was pissed when he came home and she wasn't there. She'd gone out with her friends and either ignored or didn't see his texts. When he finally got a hold of her, a nasty war of words ensued. He'd demanded she come home, she promptly told him to go fuck himself, she doesn't answer to him.
She was completely hammered by the time she finally did come home, and he was already in a bad mood from a long work day. They'd argued, with Jade saying that he was her boyfriend, not her father, and she'd do whatever the fuck she wanted, enraging him further. Their fight quickly spun entirely out of control, with both of them screaming, throwing things, and saying things they could never come back from. With his temper completely erupted, he destroyed pretty much everything in the home….so he wouldn't put his hands on Jade.
Eric knows he took it way…way too far. The memory of Jade curled up on the bed, crying softly with her eyes tightly shut seared into his mind. He'd completely broken the woman he loves and would never want to see this way. He didn't feel victorious, as he would with an initiate. He felt exactly what he deserved to feel; like an utter piece of shit. He knew he needed to calm down and give things a chance to settle, so he didn't say a word to her. He turned around and walked out, deciding to head to Amity early for his overnight meeting.
It was the worst mistake he ever made.
He'd spent the next three days at Amity, pushing thoughts of Jade away while focusing on business. At night, he'd laid awake, chain smoking while wondering just how the fuck he was going to fix this. Eric isn't the groveling type, nor will he ever apologize willingly, even though he was wrong. He wanted to make it up to her in his own way. He'd decided that when he came back, he was going to delegate some of her rotation to other ambassadors, and assign any menial tasks to his assistants. He was going to spend some time with her and try to fix the damage done. They'd had brutal fights before, but never quite this bad. It wasn't just going to blow over, and this was on him to fix.
But when he got home that day, a bad feeling started to gnaw at him. "Jade…you here?" He'd called, his heart beginning to pound. Something was eerie about the energy in the room, but he couldn't put his finger on it. "Jade," he'd called again, pushing open the bedroom door. "Jade…." He trailed off, stopping dead in his tracks. The room had a bare empty feeling to it….like it was before she moved in with him. He slowly made his way to the large walk in closet, taking a deep breath before turning on the light.
Her side was completely empty. A sense of numbness overcame him as he looked around the rest of the apartment. All of Jade's personal effects, all the little touches throughout their home that gave the sense of it being their home had been removed. She had disappeared from their…now his…place completely.
Gone.
Breaking up was not what Eric wanted. Before Jade, he'd only seen women as good for one thing. Before Jade, he would've laughed if anyone told him that a woman would ever have him as twisted up as he is over losing her. But now that Jade left him, he feels the void she left in life in every fiber of his being.
Eric goes into his kitchen and pulls the bottle of whiskey out, pouring himself a glass. As of late, this habit has been more and more frequent. He steps out on to his balcony, gazing blankly out at the city skyline as night begins to steal day. He lets his mind wander and confronts a few truths about himself.
He knows he should let Jade go. She deserves better than him, and their child certainly deserves a better father than he could ever be. When mapping out his future and life for himself at Dauntless not so long ago, that was never part of the plan. Truth be told, neither was Jade. He knew he would have to eventually out of necessity, but he figured he would cross that bridge when he came to it.
The fact that she doesn't want him to be involved should be a relief, but instead, he feels enraged. He can't believe that she was actually considering-
No, Eric thinks, shaking his head. He already nipped that in the bud…but even if he didn't, he was pleasantly surprised to find out that wouldn't happen anyway. At least Jeanine did him that one favor, before he put a bullet in her head.
He tosses back the rest of his whiskey, deciding to catch up on some work. It'll at least keep him occupied long enough that he won't feel the ghost of Jade's absence in their home fully.
For the next hour, he goes through the motions of completing mundane paperwork he could easily assign out to one of his assistants, but he desperately needs a distraction. As he reads his e-mail, a flashing indicator pops up in the corner of the screen. He clicks on the reminder, feeling a painful stab in his gut. He has an alert set to notify him whenever Jade's medical file has been updated, as it's the only way he could get any information. Since they haven't seen each other, and he wouldn't trust her to tell him the truth anyway, he decided to bypass her and go straight to the source.
Eric pores over the doctor's notes, relying on his tucked away knowledge to give any telltale clues. He needs to know if Jade is eating properly, if she's getting enough rest, if she's taking care of herself and their baby.
As he reads over her files, a scowl twists his mouth at the doctor's notes. "Patient exhibiting significantly high blood pressure during resting stage. Monitor for signs of preeclampsia as fetal gestation progresses. Patient diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum at last exam. No weight gain achieved since last exam. Patient is dehydrated. Anti-nausea medicinal dosage increased. Mandatory bedrest recommended. Patient non-compliant, may need Dauntless authority to intervene," he reads aloud.
Eric shakes his head in vexation. Of course Jade is non-compliant…she's Jade Crawford, and he would expect no less. But it's not just her now, and she needs to remember that. If she needs a reminder, perhaps he should give her one.
Eric quickly scans over the early screening, breathing a small sigh of relief at each 'negative' he saw next to potential birth defects or genetic diseases. At the bottom of the list, his breath catches as he reads the last screening. Presence of 'Y' chromosome: Positive
It's a boy…the baby is a boy.
Eric leans back in his chair, a small smile breaking over his face. A feeling he can't explain comes over him, as an image immediately flashes in his mind. A boy…a strong, healthy boy…half him, half Jade. A fierce little lion, born of his and Jade's Nordic heritage, a true little Viking. The smile slips from his face, as a hard truth blares out at him.
A child he'll only get to raise part-time, with a woman that broke his heart….when they should be raising him together.
Eric slams his computer shut, frustration and longing taking over his temporary joy. He rubs his hand over his face, trying to push the unfamiliar feeling of heartache away. This isn't right, none of it. He shouldn't have had to find out everything second-hand.
Lighting his cigarette, he trains a lethal gaze on the wall. He's had enough. Jade may not want him around, but this is his fucking child too, and its time he remembered this isn't just her decision.
Jade sinks a little further into the warm water, closing her eyes and trying to relax. She feels awful for blowing up at her friends earlier. "You're not careful, you'll end up pushing everyone away," she mutters. The stress she's felt for the past few months feels like it's all crashing down on her, and something has to give.
Like it or not, she's having this baby. She looks down at her now protruding belly, sprinkling water on her skin. "I'm sorry kid," she whispers, feeling tears start to form. "You deserve better than this. You deserve better parents than the ones you have. I know it's not your fault. I'm so, so sorry things have to be this way." She leans her head back on the tub, allowing her tears to slip down her face.
If there were ever two people that should not be parents, especially co-parents, she and Eric are it. She never envisioned herself as a mother, and especially not a mother to Eric's child. She knew that day might come, but she'd hoped for different circumstances. After everything she and Eric went through, from him lying to her about his true involvement with the Bureau, and with Jeanine, to his true purpose at Dauntless, she thought they could last through anything. But as usual, she was wrong.
Just as Eric lied to her about everything else, he clearly lied about loving her too.
Wiping her eyes, she resolves to stop feeling sorry for herself. What's done is done, and all she can do is move forward. Jade sighs as she slowly lifts herself out of the tub, deciding to call it an early night and go bed.
As she wraps a towel around herself, a sudden dizziness comes over her. "Shit," Jade mumbles, sitting on the edge. Even though her bath was warm, maybe it was too hot. She glances at herself in the mirror, noticing a fine sheen of sweat has broken over her forehead. "What is happening…" she murmurs, as black spots begin to dance across her vision.
She feels a sudden warm sensation sliding over her leg. When she looks down, shock ripples through her body. A trail of blood slowly spreads to her ankle, staining her white towel. "Oh my God…" She peels it back in a daze, gasping in horror when she sees her upper thighs are soaked.
Her heart feels like it's going to be out of her chest. "Oh my God…" The black dots begin to connect, as the world around her grows dim. Feeling as if the breath were being squeezed out of her body by an invisible force, Jade desperately tries to remain calm. Sinking down by the side of the tub, she manages to pull her cell down with her. Grateful that the last person she called was her mother, she hits redial and prays it doesn't go to voicemail. "Please pick up," Jade whispers, laying her head on the cool tile floor.
"Hey baby girl," Tamra's voice says a moment later, to Jade's relief.
"Jade? Are you there?"
"Mom…I need you to come…something's wrong…"
"What? What happened?"
"I don't know…but there's blood…a lot of blood…"
Tamra's voice begins to shake. "Okay baby…where are you? Are you at home?" Jade nods, trying to muster the strength to say conscious. "Jade! I need you to stay with me…are you at home?" Blackness begins to pull her under again, impossible for her to fight off.
"Yes," she whispers, closing her eyes as it pulls her under completely.
"So the issue could resolve itself in time…."
"It's possible, but it still needs to be monitored very carefully…there's also something that needs to be discussed with her, and it might be best coming from you, Ms. Crawford."
"What issue, what do you mean?"
As she goes in and out of consciousness, Jade hears the voices at her side for a while, but they sound as though they're a million miles away. One of them is Tamra's, and the other she doesn't recognize. Then she hears a door close, as someone leaves. "Ummm," she grumbles, trying to open her eyes. She instantly feels her mother's warm hand engulf her own. Jade turns her head, finally managing to open her eyes fully. Tamra's concern-filled green ones stare back at her, in a room with unfamiliar light.
"Hey baby girl," she whispers, planting a kiss on her daughter's forehead. Jade blinks in confusion, not understanding what's going on. "Mom," she says quietly, trying to get her bearings. She reaches up to rub her face, and finds her arm weighted down. As she slowly comes out of her fog, she looks down to see an IV inserted in her wrist.
"What the hell…" she murmurs, confused. She looks at her mother, still holding her hand. Her eyes scan the room, seeing the bright lights overhead, nothing familiar to her except Tamra. "Jade…no, just rest baby," Tamra says as Jade tries to sit up. An instant dizziness overtakes her, making her fall back on the pillow. Tamra smoothes her hand over Jades head, gently making her ease back.
"Mom…what happened…where am I…"
"Jade…just relax, you're okay…"
"Mom, what happened? Why am I in the hospital?"
Tamra tries to interject, seeing the horrified look come over Jade's face. "Oh my God…" It suddenly rushes back to her. Taking a deep breath, she looks up at Tamra with wild eyes.
"Did I lose the baby?"
Surprised by the slight tremor in her voice, she visibly gulps as Tamra leans in close. "No, honey…but it was a close call. We have some things we need to talk about." Jade blinks at her not fully comprehending.
"What things?"
"Honey, we can talk about them later, just rest for now…"
"No, Mom what is going on? The last thing I remember is all the blood…what happened?"
Tamra immediately shushes her, trying to keep her calm. Sighing, she decides to give her the gentle version. "Honey, the first thing I want to say is that everything is fine…for now. The doctor is going to go a little more in depth with you later, but I can tell you what they told me so far." She takes a deep breath, stroking her knuckles over Jade's palm.
"Honey, they think you have a condition called placenta previa..."
"Placenta what?"
"Placenta previa. They did an ultrasound while you were sleeping to confirm it. It's where the umbilical cord lies very low, over your cervix. Basically, if the cord doesn't shift as you get further along, that could be dangerous for you and the baby…a natural birth would be life threatening if not impossible. The doctor said that's what caused the bleeding. That might happen again, or it might not. But you're going to have to be closely monitored throughout your pregnancy to make certain the cord moves."
Tamra winces, knowing how Jade is going to react to this next part. "Honey…they might order you on mandatory bed rest until you deliver." Jade immediately narrows her eyes, shaking her head.
"Mom, I'm not going on bedrest, that's ridiculous! I'm fine, it was just a little blood, which I know happens. I'm fine, let's not blow this out of proportion-"
"Jade you are not 'fine'. You're dehydrated, you're not gaining weight, and you're not taking your medicine for your sickness and your blood pressure is through the roof-"
"Yes, I am! I just don't take it during the day, because it makes me sleepy-"
Tamra waves her hand, cutting her off. "You know something, Jade? I've bit my tongue for the last few months, letting you process your feelings about this whole situation. But this is out of hand now. You are not taking care of yourself, and you're forgetting that it isn't just you anymore!" she cries angrily.
Jade stares at her in shock, not having heard that tone since she was a teenager living in her mother's home. Tamra sighs loudly, pinching the bridge of her nose. "You may not be a dependent of mine any longer, but I'm still your mother, and I will not sit back and watch you destroy yourself." Her expression hardens as she leans forward slightly.
"Quite frankly Jade, you're being a selfish brat, and everyone whom loves you has about had it. You may not like the fact that you're knocked up, but guess what? You fucking are…and I know it's not your choice to have this baby, but again…you fucking are! It's time to stop with the self-pity party, woman up and face this head on, instead of wallowing in misery over something you can't change. It is what it is, Jade…all you can do is grow up and accept it."
Mother and daughter stare each other down, Tamra's words striking a deep chord within her. Tears fill Jade's eyes as she finally turns them toward the ceiling. Tamra takes a deep breath, grabbing her hand once more. "Jade…I don't want to do this right now. You need to rest and concentrate on getting better. The doctor can explain the severity of this better than I can, but this isn't something to just dismiss." Jade says nothing, her chin starting to tremble.
Tamra leans forward, planting kiss on her forehead. "Baby, they're going to keep you here for observation overnight, but they said you can more than likely go home in the morning. I'm going to go home, grab a change of clothes and I'll be back in a little bit. The doctors need to run some tests, and then give you instruction when you're discharged." Jade still remains silent, just nods her head. Tamra sighs, squeezing her hand before quietly leaving.
Jade lets her tears fall as the door shuts behind her, giving herself a minute to let it out. Deep sobs rack her body, as she succumbs to her misery. Though she doesn't like to admit it, her mother is probably right. She's been miserable for months now, unhappy and lamenting over her situation. She's been snapping at her friends, dreading waking up in the morning, and hating the changes her body is going through. Jade wipes her eyes, rubbing her hand over her stomach.
As she rests her hand on her bump, all of a sudden she feels a slight push back. Surprised, she moves her hand again. She presses down on her side, feeing movement in response. "Wow…" she murmurs. She's felt flutters before, this is the first time she's every felt an actual kick. A small smile shines through her tears, as she rubs her hand in circles.
"I'm going to do better, I promise…" she whispers.
Taking a deep breath, she decides to try to get a little sleep before Tamra comes back. She's exhausted, and just wants to deal with everything tomorrow. As she begins to doze, there's knock on her door. Sitting up with difficulty, Jade groans as she straightens her gown. "Come in," she calls, dreading whatever test needs to be run now. The door opens as she gets herself situated. "Can I just go to the bathroom before…."
Her words die in her throat, as Eric makes his way into the room.
Stunned silent, her heart starts to beat faster as he walks toward her slowly. He takes off his jacket, resting it on the edge of the bed. He still says nothing, just continues to stare at her. "Wh…what are you doing here?" she finally stammers, the surprise of seeing him making her dizzy. This is the first contact they've had since the day in her office, and he's the last person she expected to see.
Eric gives her an appraisal, his expression giving nothing away. "The mother of my child was rushed to the hospital. What do you think I'm doing here?" he finally replies coolly. He walks to the computerized wall, studying her chart as Jade continues to stare. Suddenly, fury clouds her eyes, making her grip the bedsheets beside her.
"Eric…just go. I don't want you here."
"I don't give a shit. I'm not here for you."
"Then why are you here? If I remember correctly, this 'wasn't worth it', the last time we spoke. What could possibly motivate you to bother yourself with this now?"
Eric is glad he was facing away, as Jade's words cut right through him painfully. Just like he wishes he could take back the horrible night he ruined his own life, he wishes he could take back that day in her office. His rage and heartbreak have fucked things up for him at every turn, and he's determined to not let it do any more damage.
He squeezes his eyes shut, giving himself a minute to let it pass. Taking a deep breath, his puts his stoic mask back in place before turning around.
Jade struggles to compose her face, swallowing thickly. Folding her hands protectively over her round stomach, she meets his gaze with a blank expression. They stare at each other for a long while, mutual longing and regret hanging in the air between them.
"I'm here because the hospital called me. This is still my child, whether you want it to be or not."
"It may be your child, but it's not your problem…as you stated before. Everything is fine now, and even if it weren't, it's nothing I can't handle on my own. There's no need for you to be here. Just go home…I got it."
Eric says nothing, but what he wants to say practically eats him alive. He wants to tell her the truth; he's here because he couldn't not be, that she and this child are worth everything, and he wants a chance to make things right.
But he also knows Jade will never give him that chance…just like he knows he doesn't deserve it. There's no point in telling her, so she can use it as yet another weapon to wound him. He's never been one to back down from a challenge, this time will be no different. He knows getting her back will be an uphill battle, but one he's prepared to fight. He'll just have to be strategic in his methods. The same methods and tactics he used to get her in the first place, will have to be used to bring her back.
He has to at least try…he loves her too much to just let her go. But he has to bide his time and play this part to the max.
Eric draws himself up, setting his jaw. "No," he states coldly. Locking eyes with her, he prepares himself for the war he's about to wage. Eric walks over to her computerized chart, punching in his faction code. Jade sits up straighter, her brows knitting in confusion. "What are you doing?" she demands. Eric ignores her, his eyes scanning over her chart.
"Eric…what are you doing?"
"What I should've done a while ago."
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
Eric finally tears his eyes from the screen, setting his jaw in determination. "You've been flagged as 'non-compliant' by your doctors, with Dauntless authority requested to intervene. As I am Dauntless authority, as well as the father of this child, I'm placing you on medical leave from field duty for the rest of your pregnancy. Your rotation will be delegated out, and you will be assigned to desk task for a maximum of three half-days a week."
Thunderous silence falls between them, with Jade unable to find her voice. Finally, she narrows her eyes in enraged disbelief. "Who the fuck do you think you are, Eric…I don't work for you…that's not even close to your decision – " Eric cuts her off, ignoring her tirade.
"You will also have weekly in-home medical evaluations to ensure you are taking your medication as prescribed, and not starving yourself. I'll be receiving reports as they come in from your nurse and deciding if you need to be admitted for further care. Your mother will also be supervising your treatment as she sees fit. Besides myself, I'm granting her full medical authority over you to make decisions in my absentia, if I happen to be away."
"You can't do that! I'm not a dependent of you or-"
"The title of 'Councilman' before my name says I can….and it is so ordered."
Jade's eyes begin to glitter darkly. "You arrogant, inconceivable prick…you think you can just barge in here after months of radio silence, and make demands? This may be your child, but it is my body, and we are not together. Even if we were, you have no standing to order me to do anything. Once again, this is not your problem…"
Eric turns toward her fully, neither one of them willing to back down. His cold, clear voice rings throughout the room as he never breaks eye contact.
"Let me clarify something…the only thing I'm concerned with, is my child. After he's born, you can do whatever the fuck you want…that is not my concern or problem. Eat, don't eat, work yourself to death if you choose…I won't give a shit then. But as long as my child is inside of you, you will heed doctor's orders, and you will take care of yourself whether you want to or not."
Jade clenches her jaw, shaking her head angrily. "Go fuck yourself Eric…you can bark all the empty threats at me you want. There is no Dauntless law that will permit you to hold me captive in my own home. You can fuck with my work schedule, but that's where it ends. I will not be having 'in-home' nurse visits, AKA your means of spying on me. The door will be slammed in their face if they show up. If you think I'm-" Eric cuts her off again, stepping closer to her bed. Jade visibly recoils, her eyes narrowing in rage.
A cold smile pulls at the corners of Eric's mouth as he leans forward, gripping her foot rails. "Listen to me very carefully…we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. You can simply follow doctor's orders and take care of yourself and do what's best for the baby, or I can have you declared a threat of harm to yourself and our child, and have your discharge delayed until you deliver. My personal opinion is that your crazy ass would benefit from being locked up in the hospital. It's up to you."
Jade looks up, willing her tears away as a heavy silence falls over them. "You are just bound and determined to ruin my life any way you know how aren't you," she finally whispers, realizing she's been defeated. She knows Eric well enough to know when he's bluffing, and now is definitely not one of those times. Eric doesn't respond, just logs out of her chart and picks up his jacket.
"It wasn't me that wanted it this way, Jade. This was your choice…remember that."
Eric turns on his heel and leaves without another word. Something hard and heavy hits the door behind him as it closes, bringing a smile to his face. He makes his way down the corridor, a slight spring in his step. As he rides the elevator down to the entrance, he has a renewed sense of hope. Even though their encounter was less than pleasant, it was the best time he's had since the months she been gone.
Although it was a brutal reminder of just how fucking much he misses her…
"Focus," he orders himself sternly. The one card he has to play against Jade is her temper; he knows how to push Jade's buttons. Rage is good….rage, he can handle and manipulate to his advantage. He can handle her tantrums, her verbal attacks, even her physical ones if she's angry enough, and how to turn her rage into passion. What he can't handle is her pain, knowing he's the cause of it. That's Jade's weapon to use against him, but he won't give her the opportunity.
Though he won this battle, he hasn't won the war…but this was a damn good start.