I'll be honest, I'm not the most courageous of men. After leaving Alice's room, I went down the hall to my own and sat at my desk. What was I thinking? Why would I say that? All good questions, but no good answers. I slumped forward and hit my head on the hard wood of my desk. Say I do feel that way, hypothetically. Why would I say it then? I was poking fun at her not two seconds previous. I may not know much, but that is no way to court a lady. But this isn't about courting Alice anyway, right? What am I even doing?! I have duties to attend to!

Realising it was near dinner, I abruptly took my leave from the room, stopping only to adjust my tie in the mirror near the door. Finally working my way through the list of tasks that always came before dinner, I made it to the long table in which the children all ate. I went to take my seat by the doctor but froze halfway upon my eyes landing on Alice sitting at her spot adjacent to mine-as seats are organised by age.

The long polished oak table was lined with china each with their own napkin placed for the children to place on their laps, or at their necks, depending on their age. The entire room itself, however was very dimly lit as the only sources of light was the hanging chandelier hanging from a much too tall ceiling and a fireplace too far behind the doctor's seat at the head of the table. But all of this wandering within my mind somehow led me all the way back around to the beauty sitting at the seat beside mine.

There she sat, her hands neatly folded on her lap, adorning two arm length leather gloves with belts securely fastened by their buckles. Her neck was, for the most part, covered, by an unusually clean and bright white (for London, anyway) accordion collar. The dress itself was actually made of a shinier leather than the gloves with vertical stripes that led to a corset fashioned with 3 belts and buckles to match. The bottom of the apron of her dress ran to her knees and displayed the foreign characters found in her drawing. And while I could not see her legs I knew she was wearing the boots and leggings.

"You're wearing it," was my lame excuse for conversation as I took my seat at the table, which had been set, though no food was yet presented. This allowed ample time for discussion, which, at the moment, I was struggling with.

"Indeed I am, Mister Faulkner," she said with a smile and a weird look at me, one of her eyebrows raised above the other.

"Oh, yes, of course. What a silly observation," I tried to cover my attempt, "I should ask, how is it?"

"It's lovely. Doesn't fit exactly the same. I think this one's a little- no, not tighter," She caught me before I could say anything, "It's actually a little loose on the contrary. But nothing the belts couldn't handle."

"Well, we still have to give the tailor some credit. he did in fact fabricate it based off of a sketch," I said.

"That is true…" Alice had adopted a concerned look and her eyes fell to her hands on her lap, "Jack, about what you said earlier-" Just then the maids walked in with what smelled like Shepherd's Pie.

I gave Alice a look to show her I wanted to discuss this later and she nodded in return. I picked up the ornate silver utensils and served myself. Studying the small scratches on the metal of my fork, I contemplated what I would say to Alice. I didn't even have the answers to the questions myself. What am I supposed to tell her? I pushed these thoughts aside and started eating my food. Feeling the thirst that accommodates such thick foods I put my utensils back down.

Looking up to pour myself a glass of lemonade, my eyes swept down the table, past the Doctor who was having his evening brandy, barely glancing at the countless children digging into their food, some of whom were making a hideous mess out of the mashed potatoes. And I couldn't help it, but my eyes were pulled back to Alice. Her long raven black hair tucked behind her ear and falling down her back like water, her face in slight concentration as she struggled to spear a rather slippery vegetable. Her eyes lit up in triumph at the small victory as she lifted the fork with her prize.

She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye and I would have excused myself had I not felt a sudden wetness on my hand. I immediately put the pitcher down and looked back at my glass. It was filled to the brim but thankfully nothing spilled, as it was soaked up by my glove.

Cursing myself in my mind, I excused myself from the table, quickly walking to the washroom I shook my head. What was coming over me? She distracts my thoughts and now my attention. I was running out of ways to deny my attraction to Alice. The staff would never let that moment down. I'm sure everyone saw me make a fool of myself while staring at Alice. I took my gloves off and finished rinsing my left hand.

I had just stepped out of the washroom when I came face to face with Alice, "My apologies Ms. Liddell. I didn't see you there."

I made a move to go around her but she reached out for my shoulder, "Jack, we're going to talk about this now. I don't want to put this off."

My eyes opened a little wider and I immediately started to fidget, "Oh- uh, right."

"Did you really say that?" Alice asked at first not making eye contact but then steeling her eyes and boring them into mine.

Her lack of nervousness somewhat reassured me and I stood up a little straighter, "Yes, I did."

"Did… did you really mean it?" Alice asked. At this her eyes soften, if only slightly. It was unnoticeable by anyone unless you were staring as intently at her as I was. My deep brown eyes chained to her bright green ones.

"-of course I did," the words fell out of my mouth a little too fast, but in my defense, I was a little insulted she could consider my words insincere.

"Then I'll really mean this."

Now, I always took Alice for a woman of action. She was definitely brave and often grew impatient when it came to solving things and never beat around the bush. But knowing this I still did not expect her to lean forward and grab my face to pull it down to hers.

To say I was shocked was an understatement. My neck bent down for my head to reach hers. It was awkward positioning, but my lips not reacting at first to hers was awkward on a whole other level. I just stood there, frozen.

Thankfully I quickly recovered and started kissing back. My ungloved hands grabbed at the small of her back and pulled her closer. Alice leaned into me and even proceeded to stand up on the tips of her toes to reach me. I could feel everything, her hot breath on my face, her hand starting to travel into my hair, but most importantly her lips moving with mine in this beautiful dance.

This moment, this action, was a bliss I had never known even existed, was ever even attainable. A fire traveled through my body and my stomach leapt and bounded. She was the cause of this passionate flame, this burning… love? Could I call it that? But what I did know was that Alice was doing this to me, and I couldn't help but crave more. This feeling was so foreign yet so welcome.

We pulled back after a few seconds, which felt much longer in person. One small dosage and I was already addicted to this drug. I could see she felt the same way as well, as she bit her lip and exhaled. We stood there for whoever knows how long and stared into each other's eyes. Her green eyes being all I could look at, all I could focus on, all that mattered.

I still couldn't believe it, weeks of tension between us disappeared because of one action, and I knew this wasn't right in my head, but it felt so good in the body and in the soul. Why was I ever taught the practise of courtship when anything I could ever want was all attainable in one moment, this moment.

And this moment forever changed my life.

Romance kinda rushed - I don't like waiting, I want them to get to Wonderland already, etc. Expect some big shit next chap.

Don't forget to leave some shit that helps my self esteem and keeps me writing... actually I mostly write for myself so... do whatever the fuck.