Octavia froze in the middle of her cupcake, staring at the pony making her way over to their table. She was lithe, with white fur and a delicate white unicorn horn spiraled underneath shockingly colored hair. Her mane and tail were spiked crazier than Rainbow Dash's, light blue against ocean blue, and her eyes were a deep crimson color. Brightly colored bracelets lined her wrists, made out of plastic beads of different shapes, and her clothes were tight and revealing. Her tank top was neon blue and far too low cut to be any sort of appropriate, even though she wasn't very well endowed. Her shorts were definitely short, and had cutie pockets, circles cut out of the sides to show off her black eighth note cutie marks. Giant purple sunglasses rested on top of her head precariously as she almost tackled her pegasus friend.
"Yo yourself, Scratch! What up? I thought you were suspended," Rainbow Dash said, stealing the unicorn's glasses and putting them on.
"Eh? Oh yeah, that. Well, you know, I'm in the office, cut to thirty minutes later, boom, here I am, free of charge," the unicorn replied, straightening up and snatching the glasses back. "And man, come on, I wasn't even doing anything that bad! Just…tryin' to superglue cotton balls together, that's all. Easy mistake."
Octavia felt Twilight tense up next to her and glanced over questioningly. Twilight huffed and took a sip of her carrot juice.
"That's Vinyl Scratch," the purple unicorn explained quietly to Octavia. "She's Rainbow's friend, but honestly, I don't approve. She's…a bit wild, if you know what I mean. Parties a lot."
Octavia opened her mouth to reply, but was once again interrupted as Vinyl Scratch laid her upper half across the table, forcing some of the ponies to move bits of their lunches with annoyance.
"What do my ears hear? Gossip? Rumors? About me?" She chirped out breathlessly, forcing a good girl type of voice. "You are all too kind, Sparks, looks like my reputation precedes me."
Twilight just rolled her eyes and grumbled underneath her breath, which Vinyl ignored with glee.
"You're the new girl, aren't you? The pretty, posh princess straight from Canterlot," she said, smirking. "I hear the raves are a blast there. Ever go?"
Octavia tensed as Twilight had done, scrutinizing her cupcake instead of the pony in front of her.
"No, I didn't," she replied quietly but primly, like her mother would do. In truth, she didn't even know what it was she wasn't going to; she'd never heard of a rave.
"Aww, shame shame. You seem like you really party hard," the unicorn said sarcastically, reaching over and suddenly swiping a chunk of frosting off of her cupcake. Octavia frowned and glared at Vinyl Scratch.
"Don't touch things that aren't yours, especially other ponies' food! I have no idea where your filthy hands have been!" She snapped, setting the cupcake down on the other side of her lunchbox, away from the white pony.
Vinyl sneered at her, sticking her frosting covered finger in her mouth, making the action far more sexual than it needed to be. Octavia flushed furiously and refrained from slapping the unicorn.
"Yeah, of course you don't, cuz the places they've been you don't even know exist in your little sheltered princess life," Vinyl retorted, standing upright with a huff and a flick of her mane. "Enjoy your bubble-pony lunch, princess."
Octavia clenched her teeth as the unicorn sauntered away from the table, emphasizing the swivel in her hips with an extra swish in her tail. The coffee colored pony stared at her lunchbox for a moment, then at the mauled cupcake she no longer felt like eating. Knowing the white unicorn, she was probably some nasty slut with her fingers in places they didn't belong.
But she'd be damned if she didn't wish she had that kind of self-confidence.
The flush stayed on her cheeks as she willed herself to stay strong and keep the tears out of her eyes. She quietly and carefully packed up her partially eaten lunch, zipping the lunchbox closed and picking up her backpack. She pinched the cupcake between two fingers, careful not to touch the frosting, and forced a small smile to the group as she stood.
"It was lovely sitting with you girls, but I have some things I must attend to," she said, her voice steady, but her insides wavering. "Thank you again, Pinkie Pie, for so kindly sharing your dessert with me."
Pinkie smiled with a brightness to rival the sun.
"Anytime, friend o' mine! Hey, lookie there, I rhymed!" She said, snorting with laughter at her own mite of cleverness. "It's about time, I was getting as sour as a lime, gotta keep…uhm…ah…oh well! Brine!"
The pink pony dissolved into giggles, and Octavia felt her smile become more strained. She turned with a twirl of her skirt and her tail, waving primly as a chorus of good-byes followed her departure. She walked out of the cafeteria as fast as she could without seeming strange, trying to keep her composure and remember where her locker was located. She threw the cupcake in the trash as soon as she was out of sight of the others. Her steps quickened as she neared the metal storage unit, and her fingers fumbled on the lock as she jerked it open. She shoved her lunch box inside and slammed it shut, jamming the lock shut and hurrying to the filly's room, locking herself in a stall, finally able to break down without being noticed or judged or teased.
Her vision blurred and she hugged herself tightly, hot tears sliding down her cheeks making her ugly and pathetic. She knew she was sheltered, but wasn't that where mother always said it was safe? Don't go outside, Octavia, there could be nasty foals. Don't touch that, Octavia, it's full of germs. Don't eat that, it'll make you fat. Don't wear that, people will think you're a prostitute. Don't think that, you'll go to hell.
Don't live, Octavia. It's bad for you.
She choked out a sob, leaning over slightly and hating everything around her. This public school with all its free ponies with nice parents who didn't keep their foal in a bubble. Twilight and all of her happy friends with their pretty lunchboxes and cute clothes and fucking Vinyl Scratch with all of her confidence and cutie pockets and sex appeal. Octavia wished she hadn't thrown the cupcake away. She'd stuff her face with the sugary treat and then maybe that'd fill the aching hole in her heart. Or maybe she'd just get fat and then her mother would really have a reason to hate her.
She sniffled loudly and stared at her long skirt and sleeves with absolute contempt, wishing she had the guts to cut her own cutie pockets and show all the other ponies her cutie mark. The one thing she was good at, the one thing she loved, the one thing she was proud of. Even that was controlled and overused and sat upon by her mother's heavy fat flank, turning her destiny into its own special kind of hell.
She hated herself. She hated Twilight Sparkle. She hated her mother. She hated Vinyl Scratch, and Pinkie Pie, and Rarity, and she hated her cello and she hated her school and…
She sighed, biting back a wail. She couldn't do this anymore. She…she just couldn't.
Fresh tears fell from her eyes as she stood up straight and squared her shoulders, taking a deep shuddering breath. She couldn't do this anymore, but she had to. It'd be worse for her if she let down the people who expected so much from her. She was strong. She was confident. She was intelligent. She was beautiful and talented.
Wasn't she?
Sniffing again, she pulled out some toilet paper and blew her nose, dabbing at her eyes with her sleeve. She took another deep breath, steadier this time around. She picked up her bag, trying to forget that she just let herself wallow in such low self-pity like that. If only her mother could see her…
She unlocked the stall door and opened it, shaking her head of the image. She didn't ever want her mother to see her like that. It was bad enough having been scolded for tears as a child. She didn't want to imagine what her mother would do if she saw her crying now.
"Whoa, man."
Octavia gasped, her hand flying to her chest as her eyes looked up to see Vinyl standing there, looking like she'd just walked into the bathroom. She immediately dipped her head, hiding it behind her mane as well as she could, pulling her ears back.
"Oh…you…you startled me," she breathed, her heart leaping into her throat as she realized what a mess she must look like. How long had Vinyl really been there, listening to her shame? Octavia almost felt like crying again out of sheer embarrassment. How dare she be so careless and let someone see her weak, let alone someone like Vinyl.
"Hey…um, fuck, were you crying?" The white unicorn asked, the profanity making her awkward worry seem false. Octavia searched for the small amount of anger she always had stored away for social interactions, to bring it out and create the pompous mask everyone was familiar with, the one she could easily hide behind.
"I wasn't doing anything of the sort," she snapped, striding over to the sink and turning it on, washing her hands with more force than necessary. She saw Vinyl giving her a strange look in the mirror. "What? Can't a filly get any peace while she's washing her hands?"
Vinyl harrumphed.
"You know, if you were crying about what I said, I'm sor—"
"I don't need your pity. Now, if you please, I don't associate with your type. Leave me alone," Octavia interrupted, shaking the water off her hands and pulling out a paper towel to dry them on. She checked her eyes, making sure they weren't too puffy or noticeable. She saw Vinyl's face tighten in anger, and almost grinned to herself triumphantly. Now Vinyl was the one who felt stupid, not her.
"You're just jealous," the white unicorn said suddenly. Octavia froze, her heart turning to ice.
"Excuse me?" She asked dangerously, turning slowly to face Vinyl Scratch. The blue haired pony smirked and crossed her arms.
"You're jealous," she repeated. "You're upset and you're pissed off cuz everyone has what you don't. You lash out to make yourself feel better, because your pride is the only thing you get that's good."
Octavia was struck dumb, her jaw working uselessly for a moment. How…how dare this…this lowlife…this…
Sucking in a sharp breath, she decided to not finish her thought process, and slapped Vinyl across the face as hard as she could instead.