When I wrote this, I had NO IDEA HOW MOTHER-(BLEEP)ING GAY it sounded.

Okay. THIS is how a synopsis should sound.

A story usually starts somewhere.

And then you have the alternative of running it in the direction of your choice.

You already know what I mean, don't you?

It starts with a beginning, coming up to the middle, then a steep, fast slide to the ending. It's pretty much all over in a flash when you end the story right after the climax.

Considering the position I'm being set in, the goal I'm trying to seek, and the choices I'm being forced to take or give up in regards to it, I've little time to ponder on the paradox. (Obscured by fuzzy static) has little options left since he's already growing up, and, (obscured by fuzzy static) is what's left to mull the fate or destiny of this or whatever. But we're basically one and the same I can't afford to ramble on about choices anyway.

This story is unusual because we have three groups of different "people" forced onto something they haven't the capacity to comprehend. But they don't question it. It's a terrifying precognition into things unforeseen.

It started out with a flash. It was a very big flash that just "Changed" everything. I'm not kidding. Through this "change" and other weird phenomena that can't be properly explained, vaguely and idiotically familiar events for "People" like Lazlo Brunazili and Malcolm "Clammus" Telford started taking place under abnormal circumstances.

Events such as Tournaments where Josh Smiles, Patsy's biological brother, is the head champion, or Lumpus having absolute control over a specially administrated zone called "The Serpent of Lore" and having access to unorthodox amounts of technologically advanced equipment to monitor all of Lazlo and Clam's movements. Slinkman seems completely "Normal" by his standards, but that doesn't help when it came down to facing an angry Gastropod with a big, hulking spear, and his… Dragonish avatar in a tournament one day and then being joined by his him the next. Funny shit is, everybody but Lazlo, Clam and Slinkman think that this is normal, even though this isn't what is supposed to happen. Harold/Freddie sure as hell did, even though he proved completely as ineffective when helping a certain Monkey and Rhino 'almost' put some dumb mongoose in his place.

What else is there? Should I go into Patsy being depressed all of a sudden? Are Avatars and Epitaphs important, or random flashbacks of Lumpus having angry one-sided conversations with Hoo-hah? How about when this strange, dark-skinned chick appears towards the end of the story? Does that ring any bells?

I'm getting off track here. I'll weave you another little story about how this same black chick appeared in another "World" that followed along certain principles and she threw some dumbass kid into a Television set on an ungratefully received quest to retrieve his imaginary friend, followed by a flaming redhead and a coldly strict, but unconscious imaginary friend who had the form of a bunny butler. (Not so important to note, but, this guy USED to be a fat imaginary friend, but somebody came up to his door one sunny afternoondone something bad and made him turn into a thin imaginary rabbit, still looking like an elderly guy.)

There's something else going on that you probably aren't aware of.

Kennedy.

Kennedy has a penchant for talking trash and acts british, or he started to pick up on British mannerisms simply after he crashed onto the home planet of "Earth" and Bakersfield, California and the mansion of 3 wealthy Cats and their bald, cranky British butler. About a day after he crashes bad things start happening, but this sort of thing is pretty normal in a universe for where 3 Cats have frequent run-ins with drunk punk assholes, aliens, Big Car Races, Crazy old british band retirees, spontaneous explosion/slash accidents, and getting chased around like mice in carnivals, or beat up in malls and shit like that.

Then there's the Xaldins who are all pretty mean sons of bitches. Well, actually there's just one, and he has two hand guns at his desposal, one wicked-ass childish persona, and an equally wicked-ass hairdo which is gray and stands tall. He is easily able to push 3 cats and their butler along with Kennedy into a white infinity, where Kennedy finds that his strange power to use the Keyblade may be the last answer to the gradually-getting-way-too-fucking-complicated little problems. Over "There", Xegrot points to them the way into the next world, by reintroducing the bracelet to the idiot that is Kennedy.

And since I suck at adding story plot devices to A STORY, I guess NOW would be a good time to mention these bracelets. The "Bracelets" have the power to defy physics and the regular flow of reality… and turn it into something like a video game. Some of these characters I mentioned aren't fully aware of it or even try to acknowledge that it's the truth, that there's HP Bars, MP bars, and they do retarded shit like tossing items to each other like they were playing a video game, but that's how the next universe works, and you gotta have at least some kind of bitchin story idea included, don't you?

Now getting back to Lazlo and Clam they had just successfully stopped an alien invasion by a one seriously crazed "Alien" Ruler who had lost some of his own important memories, and died upon reclaiming them. Edward reclaimed plans of his own, and nobody knows WHAT the hell he's thinking. Lumpus thinks that all the "Regular" people who saw what happened are dumbasses, Slinkman thinks his crying whiny baby of a Superior is a nimrod who hardly knows what he's doing, and Harold/Freddie thinks he's "helped" the main cast accomplished something important. Well he didn't, cause he's minor. So, suck it.

While Edward dispatches with his "Business", our 3 weirder set of heroes go and kick some Roc-Edge ass. Lazlo unveils his power of Skeith, and things get pretty badass from there, but nobody bothers to try and understand what's going on. I'm not complaining. Lol. Cause that's how it just is. They're only getting into this in the hope things will go back to normal and nobody will just "Suddenly appear without memories of a Big Ass Flash or having medieval-style weapons at their disposal for no apparent reason", and this would be the end of the story.

Course, as you very well know, it's never the end. Wanna know why?

That's because AIDA attacks Patsy from a series of randomly opened Japanese School locker doors and poor Lazlo comes to her side too late. And in the (alleged. hack//G.U. vol. 1 Rebirth spoof style) natural style of a story arc cliffhanger, it has to be left on some kind of harrowing, you-get-pissed kind of note with the classic "TO BE CONTINUED" sign right on the end, so I can only hope that you must have it thoroughly beaten into your thick skulls already.

So now in my gratuitous benevolence, I have decisively tossed you a scraping of over-seasoned, spiced-up Grade-A crap for you to chew over in your economically stressed, politically tickled, imaginatively taxed, shit-siphoning, poison-building, stone-hard brains.

So just read the story already!

Next Chapter: (3) Hour of Despair

A/N: I looked this synopsis over, and I think I did a better job writing this differently than anything else.