If I Should Die Before I Wake

Chapter 2: Beauty to the Beast

"It will be as if I'd never existed"

Pg. 71

--New Moon

"Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly."

--Neil Gaiman

PREVIOUSLY:

"What is it?" Edward asked, curiously.

"Nothing," I answered, still looking down at my wrist. "I thought I felt…never mind." He didn't pry further. I lay against his chest for god knows how long. He shifted me from my sitting position into a more laid back one. He kissed me lightly, and got up, turning for the door.

"Don't worry," he said, as he saw me getting up too. "I'll be right back."

I lay on the couch and shut my eyes, feeling suddenly drowsy. I could feel the darkness closing over me…a sensation I hadn't felt since I was human.

That's strange, I thought, my mind beginning to shut down.

Vampires don't sleep.

It was an odd feeling. Like I was somehow drifting and falling at the same time. Where I was going, I wasn't quite sure of. It reminded me of my dreams. I couldn't quite make out what exactly was happening, but I could get the gist of it. So as I drifted, I dreamed. And my dreams always focused on me falling. But it was weird, because I wasn't the one falling really. I was like a second person, and I watched myself fall from above—like I was actually reflected onto a TV screen. I watched my other body fall to whatever lay below in this dreamland. And slowly, my other self started to get smaller and smaller, until it (or I) was a spectrum in my line of vision. Just as it appeared as though I could no longer see myself falling, I was pulled away. And I woke up. This was entirely new to me. Well, not entirely, but I wasn't used to it all the same. Waking up, I mean. Fifty years does change you. And since becoming a vampire, I'd never fallen asleep. It wasn't possible. So, why then was I lying in my old room in Charlie's house of all places? Frankly, I was a little mystified. Oh, and very, very confused. Maybe Edward was playing some stupid trick on me. A great trick this was. I shoved the bed sheets aside and quickly got up, craning my neck to look for Edward.

Several things hit me at once.

One, I couldn't quite see properly. Everything in the room was slightly dull and empty. Two, I felt extremely weak…which wasn't really normal for me. But there was something else that shined in comparison to these small realizations. It was a beat inside me. A heartbeat. I toppled out of the bed in an instant and half ran, half hopped to the bathroom down the hall, cradling my arm that had smacked the floor when I fell. I shoved the door aside and turned to look at my reflection in the mirror.

I froze.

My hair, which used to curl down in mermaid like waves, stood up like a haystack now. My pale skin was quite a contrast compared to the granite one I'd had before. And my eyes…they weren't bright topaz or coal black, but rather a plain brown. Like how it used to be. Everything from my appearance to my strength had changed somehow. From Beauty to the Beast…well, to me anyway.

The unthinkable had happened.

I was human…again.

"Bella?" A voice from the hall mumbled. I jumped, gasping. That voice. I hadn't heard it in years. And yet, I felt like I wanted to run away from it rather than confront it. It had been too long. And I did a most childish thing then. I hid.

I could hear the footsteps nearing the bathroom, and I pulled open the shower curtain and squatted down, trying to quiet my breathing. The steps stopped abruptly, and I listened intently. There was a pause and then a sound of someone moving on again.

When I was sure he'd returned to his bedroom, I pushed myself up off the bathtub and closed the door, silently, returning to my place in front of the mirror.

The fact that I was human struck me again. Was it even possible? And worse yet, it was like I had transported myself into the past. Everything was from fifty years ago—even the people. If Charlie existed, who or what else did?

I slowly walked back to my room, silently shutting the door. My old computer sat at the desk, beckoning me to use it. I turned on the monitor, sitting in the chair and waiting impatiently for the slow program to start up. Thanks to whoever invented Windows 98. Some great piece of technology…the speed just excels other computers.

I sighed, impatiently, pushing back the chair and opening my closet door. I reached in the back, hands searching. I felt something small and hard, and I pulled it out anxiously. It was the album. I flipped past the first few pages—most of them had pictures of the kitchen or the forest outside. Then I hit the fourth page. Jackpot.

My hands eagerly held the page—the one that contained the picture of me and Edward in the family room. But it was empty. Maybe I was on the wrong side. I flipped past, but every page I encountered was the same. Empty. The only pictures that actually were in the album, wasn't of me and Edward, but rather of the forest and house.

I left the album on the floor, walking over to the computer. The time and date blinked from the bottom right corner of the screen. January 19, 2006. 4: 57 AM

No, it couldn't be. Well, that meant…

"Bella, are you ok?" Charlie asked, knocking on the door.

"Just a second," I yelled back. If it was 2006…then it was fifty years ago to this day. Oh no.

I slowly walked to the door, fearing that when I opened it, I would find a pale, ghostly Charlie—just like at the funeral. My hands shook as I grasped the knob, twisting until it opened with a click.

And there he was…looking exactly like he should be.

This wasn't normal. It should be 2056, and he should be dead. Back in the cemetery where I'd last visited his grave. But when I saw him, it brought out the emotions I had tried to keep inside for so very long.

I took a step towards him and wrapped my hands around his waist, clinging on to his shirt just like when I was six years old. He patted my back awkwardly.

"Bells," he whispered, pulling away slowly. He held my shoulders, a concerned look on his face. "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah," I responded. "I just…um…wanted to say hi."

"Ok…well, you're…you're awake early. School doesn't start for another two hours."

"Right," I said. Darn it. I needed to actually go back to that dull place? "I need to finish my homework." Wow. That sounded ridiculously false. He nodded though, and I was surprised he didn't see through the lie.

I turned back to my room, closing the door when he left. I waited by the window until I saw the cruiser leave. When it did, I went to the closet, pulling a blue sweatshirt over my head and tugging on an old pair of jeans. My backpack lay in the corner, and I picked that up too.

I would go to school. I didn't see how it could hurt me. Plus, I would probably find out more about this bizarre world. A deep rumbling in my stomach caused me to look down, startled. Oh. Food was now a necessity.

I ran down the steps, grabbing an apple to eat on the way and a glass of orange juice. I stopped outside the kitchen. The last time I was in this house was during the closing, when we'd finally been able to sell it. It belonged to an elderly man and his wife. I didn't realize how the faded yellow cabinets and mismatched chairs could form a knot in my stomach, and before I knew it, I felt a salty tear drop slip down my cheek.

I was crying. I was truly crying. And it felt…real…the closest to humanity I'd come in a long time.

The sound of the rain pounding on the windows brought me back to reality, and I slowly left the house in a daze, taking a rain coat on my way. My truck was still parked in the driveway. I ran to it, slipping and falling on the cement. Stupid human reflexes! Cuts and scrapes ran through my hands. Thankfully, there was no blood. I pushed myself up, climbing into the truck and finally heading towards Forks High School.

THE HUNTER

(A/N: Hunter's POV...It's confusing, so don't read too much into it!)

I watched her through the window, curiously. She stood there, in the frame of the kitchen, holding an apple in one hand and a glass in the other. I waited. She snapped back into attention and slowly walked outside, running to the red pickup in the driveway. Before she went into the truck, she seemingly slipped and fell on the concrete. It was as if she had tripped on air. I snickered under my breath, knowing she couldn't hear or see me from this distance. Pathetic human. Soon, she would turn into the rest of them—trapped inside this world for all eternity. For now, I would observe her to see if she really was worth it at all. It didn't matter to me how important she had been in reality. This was my creation, my realm. Bella was just another pawn on the board.

I drove past the highway and there it was, just like I remembered it. My hands gripped the steering wheel, and I turned into the parking lot, finding an empty space towards the front. I was early, way too early than I'd ever been before. I turned on the antique radio and flipped to some weather channel. The man's voice droned on: "87.6 RLFN! It's Wednesday at approximately 5:45 A.M. It's a regular day in the upper peninsula of Washington. Cloud cover is beginning to form and we see that a cold front is beginning to enter from the northern part of Canada. The rain seems to be slowing…"

I turned it off, feeling bad for the weather man. Announcing the state's weather was boring enough, but saying the same thing over and over….now that was dull. What else happened in Washington except rain and occasionally snow?

I decided to head to the school now. The rain was starting to let up. As I walked to the main office, I looked for the familiar silver Volvo, but it was nowhere in sight. There was a dry bench under the roof, and I sat there, pulling out my notebook and doodling on the already filled front cover. I soon lost track of time and I looked around, noticing that people were starting to arrive. I entered the office, remembering the orange-flecked commercial carpet and fold up chairs pushed to the side. The lady at the desk looked up, smiling. She was the same woman who had given me my schedule the first day here.

"Hi, um…Can I have another copy of my class schedule?" I asked. She looked at me a little oddly, but dug through the file cabinet anyway, pulling mine out. She handed me a schedule, still staring. She probably couldn't help it. I was asking for my classes in the middle of the school year. It was a little strange. I looked down, gazing at the date again. January 19th. Then it struck me. It was 52 years ago yesterday that I had my first day here. Coincidence?

I thanked her and browed through it, hoping I would remember how to navigate through the building. Since my graduation, I hadn't come back here. The schedule was familiar. I headed to my first hour- English with Mr. Berty. The classes passed by slowly. It was completely repetitive. I was relieved when lunch finally came around.

I scanned the lunchroom and spotted the table where Edward and everyone else usually sat. I recognized some of the people sitting there, but I was forgetting their names. Half of the table was full, the other empty. I realized one half was for me and all of the Cullens, the other one for my other classmates. A girl with bushy brown hair sat next to me, chatting adamantly with the boy next to her, Mike Newton, who I remembered from working with at the Newton's sporting goods store. I recognized most of them, but some of their names escaped me. Would they try to talk to me? After looking at them for a few minutes, I realized they were completely ignoring me. They acted like I wasn't even sitting there.

When the table began to fill up, I listened in on their conversations. Mike began to talk.

"So, you up for it Lauren?" he asked the girl with long blond hair seated next to him. She shrugged.

"I don't think so Mike. It's probably not even going to be sunny that day," she said, in a nasally voice.

"Tyler will be there…" Mike encouraged. She seemed reluctant, but agreed anyway.

I looked at the girl sitting next to me. She hadn't talked the whole time. She seemed like she wouldn't bite me though, so I turned to her. (A/N: FYI--This is Angela)

"Um…" I said, quietly and hesitantly. She looked up, surprised. I continued on. "Do you know what they're all planning?"

"A beach trip," she replied, in a polite voice. "It's supposed to get warmer this Saturday, so they figured it would be nice to get everyone together there." I nodded. I could tell she was nicer than the others. "You haven't talked to us in a while," she spoke again. "I mean, not that I mind or anything. It's Jessica that's mad." Her eyes shifted to the bushy haired girl. "You've seemed sort of distant. Is everything ok?" Is everything ok? Charlie had asked that this morning too. I thought about the date again. January 19, 2006…my senior year. Oh! It struck me suddenly. Edward was gone. He had left in September and hadn't come back until the end of the school year. That's why he wasn't here. I decided to ask her to justify my conclusion.

"Yes, everything is fine. The weather probably just had me down." She smiled kindly. "Well, I was wondering…Have you seen Edward recently?" I expected her to gawk at me or look at me like was crazy, but instead, her face held no expression. It was blank. As if she didn't know who I was talking about.

"Who?" she asked, confirming my suspicions.

"Edward Cullen," I repeated slowly. Still, her face looked blank.

"I don't think I know him," she replied.

"But he goes to this school…" I wondered out loud. She thought for another second.

"The name doesn't ring a bell. I probably haven't met him." I turned away from her, suddenly preoccupied with the bottle of water in front of me. How could she not know him? She had to know him! Everyone knew him! Well, maybe she just wasn't that aware of everyone around her. I decided I would ask Charlie when I got back home.

------------------------

The day wore on and after Gym, I quickly ran out into the rain washed streets, eager to get home. I parked the truck in the driveway and unlocked the house, hanging up my coat on the rack. Charlie would be home in a couple of hours. It would be better to busy myself with some task. I pulled open the freezer door, taking out some chicken and pouring myself a glass of water while I got to work. I wondered if I'd lost my touch with cooking. After a while, the feeling came back to me and I worked quickly, putting the chicken in to broil.

I needed to do Calculus homework and study for a test coming up. I figured out now, how much I hated school. Well, not necessarily hate it. I just disliked being there without Edward. The thought of him brought me back to my original predicament. The girl I talked to didn't even know him. And she should. Edward stood out like no other.

I pushed the thought out of my mind. I would just ask Charlie when he came home. After setting the table and finishing my homework, I heard the door open.

"Bella?" Charlie asked. Who else?

"Yes, Dad." He sniffed the air appreciatively after hanging up his belt and his gun.

"You're in a good mood today, Bells." Was I? It didn't seem like I was acting any different than I normally did. Well, I suppose I was. After all, I had just turned human. He sat down at the table, eating the food.

"Dad?" I questioned, slowly. He looked up, curiously. "I was thinking…maybe I'll go over to Edward's today…If I'm allowed." I tacked that on afterwards, not wanting to seem rude, but not childish either.

"Who's Edward?" He questioned. Oh no. This just couldn't be happening.

"Come on Char—Dad," I said. "You've practically known him for two years." He frowned, putting down his fork.

"I don't think I've known any of your friends for two years except for Jacob and Jessica Stanly." I paused. Could this really be happening? I'd already answered that question by myself. Yes, it could, and it was.

"You don't know the Cullen's? I listed them for him: Edward, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle Cullen. You don't know them?" He shook his head. "They used to live here," I added. "They just left the beginning of the school year." Charlie's face remained empty.

"I should know everyone who lives here. I am the chief after all. I'll look into it." He said, picking up his fork and eating again.

Charlie wasn't kidding. He really didn't know him. That fact scared me greatly. I swallowed.

"I need to be excused." I pushed my chair in and hurriedly washed my dishes, storing them away.

"Bella," Charlie called.

"I'm fine Dad. I just need some sleep, that's all." I ran up to my room, tripping on the last step. Ouch. I went inside, pressing my cheek against the smooth wooden floor. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didn't lose consciousness. I was alone. I was in Forks, but everything was different. I remembered Edward's words.

It will be as if I'd never existed, he'd promised me.

It was true.

He did not exist. Now, I needed to find out exactly why.

A/N: Sorry for the late update. I typed out a really long chapter just to satisfy you! Regretfully, I don't think I will be able to update again this month. Things have been crazy and I will be out of state for all of July. I'll probably have to type from out of Michigan. Just don't expect me to update soon. But you know….

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