Thanks for the reviews/favs! I totally spaced and thought I'd posted this chapter last week. Haha, I'm awesome like that. NOT.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or any brand names you encounter, all I gain is inappropriate amusement from putting these characters in awkward situations.

Joey came to with some aches and pains, his whole being felt heavy and his ears were buzzing. He suspected there was going to be some massive bruising later on. Mokuba's body woke up several feet away from him, looking how Joey felt. The boy winced as he touched his forehead.

Joey's voice came out thick and a bit raspy, "Mokuba? You okay?"

The boy's face lit up, "I'm me again! Alright!" He got to his feet and rushed over to Joey for a breath stealing hug, "You did it, Seto!"

"I beg to differ, Mokuba," a suspiciously familiar voice grumbled. Joey turned towards the direction of the speaker to see—

Himself. Sitting with crossed legs and arms folded over his chest, a bag of Cheesy Puffs lay to his right. Joey noted that he was giving himself one hell of a nasty glare.

"What da fuck is goin' on?!"

Joey's other self scoffed, "I can't believe you haven't figured it out. Also, one: don't curse around my brother and two: would you not speak with that repulsive accent while you're inhabiting my body?"

"Inhabiting your…" Joey could barely process the new information, Mokuba pulled away from him with an anxious look. Joey tilted his head down to see a tight black shirt, matching pants, and most horrifying of all a sleeveless white trench coat, "Holy shit I'm you!"

Kaiba, in Joey's body, was ticked and his voice rose steadily in volume as he spoke, "Did you hear anything I just said? Yes, moron, in your absolute brainlessness you managed to screw up my experiment and thankfully Mokuba is back to normal. But now you and I have switched physical beings and guess what, Mongrel? The only thing keeping me from viciously murdering you right now is the fact that I would be stuck in this degrading, filthy form for the rest of my miserable life if I did!"

It was strange to hear his voice speaking sans a Brooklyn accent and with Kaiba's mannerisms, "Oh yeah, pal? I ain't too happy 'bout this neither. You think I wanna be a snobby, ass-faced bastard who dresses like a weirdo?! Why don't ya hurry up an' switch us back already!"

Kaiba growled and gestured behind Joey, "If you turned your empty head around, you would clearly see that my machine is broken again. Maybe even beyond repair."

"Say what?" Joey twisted Kaiba's long torso around to observe the contraption. Antennae were hanging off, the screen was scrambled, and smoke was rising from various areas, "Well…damn."

"Oh no, Seto! Are you guys going to be stuck like this forever?" Mokuba went over to Kaiba and put an anxious hand on his shoulder.

Kaiba put a hand atop Mokuba's, "Don't worry, little brother. I won't let that happen," he shot a glare at Joey who stuck his tongue out in response, Kaiba looked displeased by the action, "the sooner that moron is done defiling my body, the better. However, I've been working on this machine nonstop since last night and as much as I hate it, I have to take a break. I need to be refreshed before I tackle this problem again."

Kaiba picked himself off the ground and watched Joey harshly, he was still sitting and studying Kaiba's hands which were now his own, "I am not leaving you alone in here," Kaiba stated passive-aggressively.

Joey didn't take the hint, "Man, you must use helluva lotta moisturizer. Do you get manicures or somethin' for these nails?"

"Wheeler, we are leaving my study."

Mokuba grabbed Joey by the arm and started pulling him up, "Come on, Joey. Seto's pretty upset." Joey nodded and stood up. Whoa. How did Mokuba get all the way down there? Joey felt like a skyscraper. Luckily, the young boy was tugging on his arm to keep him walking while enraptured with new sensations. The door shut behind Joey and Mokuba let go of his arm. Kaiba told his brother to inform the staff that a "friend" (said venomously) was staying over for a while. The munchkin happily complied, delighted to have a reason to evacuate the awkward situation, but reminded his brother not to kill Joey while he was still in his body. Naturally, he had also told his brother not to kill Joey period, but Kaiba was more ambiguous in his answer to that request. Once Mokuba had left Kaiba walked to the staircase and demanded that Joey follow him. Joey stuck out his foot and took a huge stride forward—only to be jerked back. His eyes were wide in surprise; he tried moving forward again frantically, struggling in vain against an invisible force.

Kaiba watched him and made a 'tsk' sound. He walked over to the frenzied teen inhabiting his body, trying to pull himself forward with all his weight, and opened the study door. Joey nearly fell on his face, but caught himself with his—Kaiba's—hands. He looked behind him, Kaiba was shaking his head. He told the other that the trench coat had gotten stuck in the door and called him an idiot again for good measure. For a moment, Joey blushed and then none too gracefully got to his feet.

"Yeah, well, if your damn train wasn't so long I wouldn't be havin' problems!"

Kaiba's eyebrow twitched, "Don't compare my coat to a wedding dress, Mutt. That thing probably cost more than your rent for a year. We're going upstairs now; try not to break every bone in my body."

Joey glared after him, but reluctantly followed. He took his first step up the stairs and almost fell on his face again. He regained his balance in time and decided to hold on to the banister for now. Much to his chagrin, he noticed Kaiba was having NO problems adjusting to his body. Of course, Joey's form was probably a big step up from Mokuba's. They walked silently all the way to Kaiba's bedroom. Joey gulped as the other opened the door, remembering the state he and Mokuba had left it in. Kaiba stood in the doorway and stared at the food scattered all over the floor and his desk, the bed comforter was also suspiciously lumpy looking. He glared at Joey over his shoulder, but chose not to say anything as the other teen followed in after him.

Kaiba eyed a half finished box of Fig Newtons and bent down to pick it up, but stopped halfway when his, was Joey's, arm was near his face. Kaiba sniffed the green shirt sleeve and made a disgusted expression, "Wheeler, why does this shirt smell like it hasn't been washed in a month?"

"Probably 'cause it hasn't. Dat's my night shirt, Dude."

"Don't call me, 'Dude.' You sleep in this? And you were outside? What, do you just fall asleep in whatever you're wearing?"

"Hey, look, I was just goin' to the grocery store so I put on some pants. I wasn't plannin' on arrivin' at the Goddamn Kaiba Palace where there is apparently a dress code."

"I suppose I should be thankful that you didn't wander outside in your underwear. But you still need to get your hygiene in order. When is the last time you took a shower?"

"Hey! It's just the shirt dat smells, it's always been like dat. An' my personal habits ain't none of ya business."

"I beg to differ. I don't know how long we'll be stuck like this, so we're going to have to be responsible for each other's bodies. You better take damn good care of me, Mutt. I have a public image to uphold. Now are there any allergies I should know about? Medication, like say for Rabies?"

Joey frowned, "Shut up," he ran a hand through his hair…which was a lot thinner and brunet-er than he was used to, "I got an image too, ya bastard."

"God forbid I ruin the illusion that you shop at Goodwill and sleep in a dumpster. And quit messing up my hair!"

Out of spite for Kaiba's comment, Joey defiantly ruffled the brunet mop to hell with both hands. Kaiba cursed at him.

"Now I look completely deranged! What is the matter with you?!" Kaiba suddenly noticed something, "What the hell happened to my belts?"

Joey observed his new long arms, Kaiba was frigging skinny. He remembered very clearly his conversation with Mokuba and suddenly agreed with the kid about Kaiba's uncomfortable wardrobe choice. Those damn metal things were digging into his wrists and that blasted trench coat; for however long Kaiba had been wearing it, Joey had hated it. Mainly because it came to represent the guy who antagonized him at every turn, but at the moment because it was getting snagged on every pointy things in the vicinity and what were those shoulder pads stuffed with anyway?

"How do ya get these bracelets off? They cuttin' off my circulation, got no idea how you stand 'em."

Kaiba was exasperated, "Would you quit with the ADD routine already? Quid pro quo, Mutt, tell me what happened to my belts and I'll help you get the cuffs off."

"Uh, they're in the limo. Mokuba didn't like 'em, to be honest it's almost like ya try to wear the most uncomfortable stuff you can find. Now how do these come off?"

The other teen grabbed the wrist that had once been his own and pushed two of the bumps on the cuff down, there was a click and a seam appeared. Joey looked down on his old head as Kaiba removed the offending items. He had no idea the top of his hair looked so messy, maybe he should brush it more than once a week…nah. Girls liked the rough and tumble look. Of course now he had an entirely different look going, well girls liked rich, cold-hearted, vaguely metrosexual bastards too he reassured himself. Joey rubbed his freed wrists and thanked Kaiba. Then he slipped off the stiff trench coat, that guy used so much starch he must have been in the military or something.

"What are you doing?" the other asked incredulously as Joey tossed the coat onto the bed, "I took the cuffs off for you! Don't treat my possessions like the trash you left on my floor!" The voice Kaiba spoke with gave Joey's characteristic aggravated crack; he recognized it even without the accent.

"Eh, sorry 'bout dat. I figured a maid would clean it or somethin'. Anyway it was botherin' me; I can't believe you wear dat crap at home. I'd slip into somethin' more comfy if I wasn't goin' out."

Kaiba grumbled, not really listening and gingerly picked up his discarded coat. In a manner that creeped Joey out, he stroked it a few times. He stopped and stared at the bed and then turned to the other.

"I assume you were in here with Mokuba and that you caused all this damage?"

"Yeah. Look it was all my idea, don't get mad at him, he's a good kid."

"So…what exactly were you two doing on my bed to," he cleared his throat, "make it look like this?"

Joey giggled impishly, "We had so much fun, your bed's so big we just had to try it out! Nearly gave dat butler a heart attack though."

Kaiba looked alarmed, his expression then darkened, "I swear Wheeler, if you took advantage—"

It clicked for Joey, "Jesus H. Christ, Kaiba! Get a hold of yourself, I'm not some pedophile. We was just jumpin' on it. Getcha mind outta the gutter."

Kaiba stuck his nose in the air, "I'm hardly a pervert, I'm just protective, Mokuba is very naïve. And who knows how you would bend the situation to your benefit."

Joey rolled his eyes and over gestured as he spoke in a high pitch, "Oooh Kaiba, you're sooo sexy I can't help myself!" Joey suddenly deepened his voice and stood rigidly, "Yes, well I am pretty hot shit if I must say. Nobody can resist me and my incredibly tight pants!"

"Cut that out! My pants are not that tight, they're tailored for the perfect fit. Don't act like that when you're in my body," Kaiba facepalmed, "the sooner I fix that machine the better. I don't need you prancing around and acting like an infant while you're like that." Kaiba went over to the walk-in closet and grabbed an empty hanger for his coat. Much to his dismay Joey followed in after him, surveying the various garments. The closet was the same size as his room at the apartment. The owner of the closet was beyond annoyed, "Can't you entertain yourself elsewhere instead of invading my private life?"

"Hey now! These are my clothes after all," Joey began to leaf through some hanging shirts, "I was thinkin' I might wanna change at some point. Here, let me help you wit dat." Joey took the coat Kaiba had been struggling, standing on his tip-toes to hang up. He hung it on the high pole, easy as that. Kaiba crossed his arms and frowned at him, appearing more like he was pouting instead of acting menacing. The other couldn't help but laugh at the sight, no wonder Kaiba never took him seriously! It was a bit disappointing to find out that he wasn't nearly as intimidating as he thought, but Joey had a good sense of humor about these things. As long as it wasn't Kaiba pointing them out. Said individual was still scowling at him as he picked out a few clothes that didn't look too horribly snug. He mulled over two blue dress shirts; they were exactly the same except one had darker buttons, he decided to pull both.

"Hurry up, Idiot. We're not here to play fashion show." Joey brushed off the comment. It was much easier now that Kaiba was considerably less threatening. He was starting to suspect that he knew it too; the amount of lip Joey had been giving Kaiba up to this point should have garnered him at least some level of physical intimidation and violent insults. Kaiba hadn't even tried to throw him out yet and despite plenty of loud complaining he was mostly allowing Joey to do whatever he wanted. So this was what it was like to have the upper-hand. He smirked, betting he looked a lot like how he was used to seeing his rival. Now utterly amused by the situation, Joey demanded in a gruff tone that Kaiba show him where the bathroom was.

Kaiba obviously did not like that. He shot Joey a poisonous look, but he was no longer affected. Joey shrugged, said he'd just find it himself, and left the closet carrying a huge load of clothes. He found the bathroom pretty easily; it was the only door besides the main and closet ones after all. Joey was about to walk in when Kaiba gave him a stern warning.

"You watch it. I don't want you thinking you have free reign just because you're temporarily in my body," Joey was about to snootily ask Kaiba what he was going to do about it, but he interrupted him, "I have no reservations to doing tenfold worse to your body if I find out you've been up to something. I've heard that face tattoos are all the rage," Kaiba added deviously, having found some leverage.

That got Joey, he whipped around, "You do dat and I'll run naked through the streets screaming!"

"I'll shave your head."

"I'll give all ya money away!"

"Well, I'll go to Yugi and declare your undying love for him."

Joey fumed, "Do dat and I'll call a press conference an' declare your undying love for Pegasus!"

Kaiba looked ready to have an aneurism, "If you even think of doing that I'll have both your legs amputated off!"

"No way! I'll put on a dress an' promote the janitor to CEO!"

"I'll whore your body out to strangers!"

"You wouldn't dare! I'll whore ya out to Siegfried first!"

Kaiba opened and closed his mouth. He took a deep breath, "This is childish. Just go and change."

Joey gladly stomped into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him. He dumped the clothes on the floor with a huff. He removed Kaiba's necklace and peeled off the black turtleneck. He tossed it onto the ground and grabbed one of the blue dress shirts, but suddenly caught his reflection. For some reason seeing Seto Kaiba stare back at him from the mirror crystallized things for Joey. This was just extremely weird. He noticed Kaiba while svelte had some muscle. Joey flexed the bare arm, 'not bad,' he thought, 'not bad, Kaiba, it's a shame you hide it under all those ugly trench coats,' Joey stopped himself. He flushed a little, which made things even weirder. Was he getting a little turned on by the body he was inhabiting? Talk about narcissism! It was one thing when he was all 5'8" of Joey Wheeler, but quite another when he was the object of attraction. Joey suddenly looked down at his belt, staring at the huge buckle with the KC logo. The Kaiba in the mirror suddenly did a good impression of a ripe tomato. He slowly reached for the belt, but grew redder with each inch the hands moved. Pulling them back, Joey continued to stare down and considered his dilemma.

Having made such a big deal about Kaiba's fashion choice, it would just seem strange if he left the pants on not to mention they were too clingy for Joey's taste. Part of his brain made a lewd comment about the visual appeal of the pants, but Joey did his best to ignore it. Stupid hormones, they weren't even his own and now they were bothering him too much to change. After some consideration, he came to a decision: he would close his eyes while he changed the pants. That way he wouldn't violate Kaiba's privacy, (or more truthfully not embarrass himself to death,) but he had no idea how he was going to get around it if he needed to use the toilet in the future, hopefully they would switch back before that happened. Joey delayed the inevitable by buttoning up the shirt, removing the boots and leg belts, and picking out which pants to wear, but eventually he had to face the music. He pulled off the belt as quickly as possible. Taking a deep breath Joey squeezed his eyes shut and began unzipping and sliding the garment off. He could feel the heat radiating off his face as he felt the cool air brush his long legs, he could tell Kaiba wore briefs. Joey groped for the designer jeans on the sink counter and concentrated on keeping his balance while putting them on.

He almost toppled over when there was a loud banging on the door, "What the hell are you doing in there? Stop screwing around and hurry it up, Moron."

Joey finished dressing himself and tried to shake off his blush. He looked at Kaiba's reflected face and starting contorting it into goofy expressions. He stuck his tongue out, crossed his eyes, and ruffled the hair to make it stick up. That helped, he began to titter at the expressions he never thought he'd see Kaiba's face make in a million years. He stroked his jaw and noticed the stubble was becoming more pronounced, looking around for a razor he decided to do the stuck-up bastard a favor.

Upon Joey's sudden emergence from the bathroom, Kaiba quickly dropped the box of Fig Newtons he'd been holding and tried to look nonchalant as he swallowed a mouthful. Joey walked towards him as he spoke.

"Now that you're finished I trust you—ugh!" Kaiba cringed and covered his nose, "is that my aftershave? Did you use the whole bottle?"

"No," Joey said defensively and stood arms akimbo, "you should be grateful I'm keepin' to ya crazy high level of personal hygiene." Kaiba observed the bitter teenager; his hair was tangled, shirt untucked, and sleeves rolled unevenly up the arms.

"Yes, you're doing a marvelous job. Now, can you find your way to Mokuba's room? I need to rest before I work on my machine again."

Joey said he probably could find his way. Kaiba nodded and ushered him out of the bedroom. He told the other young man not to bother him for several hours and shut the door, leaving Joey in the hallway. Honestly, Joey only vaguely remembered how to get to Mokuba's room, but decided that wandering around might be kind of fun like an adventure. As he walked around he was disappointed to find that most of the doors were locked except for a bathroom or two. One door he opened turned out to be the game room Mokuba had showed him earlier and it was just his luck that the raven-haired boy was already in there playing on a PS3.

Mokuba was delighted to see Joey, (still breathing,) even if he thought it was his brother at first. They both entertained themselves by playing against each other and then watching an episode of the Avatar marathon. Joey then suddenly remembered that he never bought his Cheetos and he had left the Cheesy Puffs in the study. Mokuba noticed that the sun was starting to set and told Joey he should probably give his dad a call if he was going to stay over. Joey agreed, but decided he would just send a text since he didn't want to explain why Seto Kaiba was calling his dad to let him know his hated rival was spending the evening at his mansion, ("No Pop, it's really me! I'm in Kaiba's body!" "Hahaha, right. Maybe you could loan me a couple million bucks while you're in there! Hahaha!") Joey unfortunately had become dependent on his cell's speed dial and could not remember his father's number without his phone which would have been in his old body's jeans. Mokuba offered to fetch the Cheesy Puffs if Joey retrieved his cell. In retrospect Joey realized he'd gotten the raw end of the deal.

Joey creaked open the door to Kaiba's bedroom and peeked in. The lights were off and the curtain drawn. Kaiba was sprawled on his stomach on top of the sheets, soundly asleep. His head was turned away from Joey who tip-toed across the room. Kaiba was still completely dressed much to Joey's displeasure; he was hoping Kaiba would at least take off his jeans to make the situation less awkward. On the positive side, he was sleeping in Joey's full outfit although he'd criticized him earlier for it, so Joey could rub his face in it once he woke up. He stepped lightly towards the bed, there was a loud crunch as his foot came down on a bag of Doritos, cool ranch flavor. Kaiba didn't stir so Joey continued on cautious of any snack debris underfoot. Finally he loomed over the slumbering figure, Joey noticed that Kaiba didn't drool in his sleep like he did; that seemed strange, for some reason he thought sleeping habits would be attached to the body. Tristan and Yugi had told the teenager after many sleepovers together that Joey was a very 'active' sleeper. He rolled around, snored, talked, and once even sleepwalked all the way to the kitchen, had a turkey sandwich, brushed his teeth, and returned to bed without waking. But there were conflicting reports on that event, Yugi insisted that he had also flossed and Tristan said that it was a ham sandwich.

Nevertheless, it was evident that Kaiba was a very peaceful sleeper. 'Probably has visions of stocks and corporate takeovers dancing in his head,' Joey thought wryly. Slowly, Joey reached towards the back pocket closest to him; he could barely see the outline of his phone. The young duelist, now in the body of a billionaire genius tycoon with a nasty attitude, lightly slid the long, pale hand he now possessed into the pocket. His fingers touched the phone and he pushed his hand in a little farther…

Suddenly Kaiba's eyes snapped open and he twisted his head over his shoulder to see Joey frozen, hand completely submerged in Kaiba's back jean pocket.

"Uh," Joey's voice was thick so he swallowed and then forced a smile, "r-rise and sh-shine?"

To be continued...

A/N: Why is messing with Kaiba so much fun? IT SHOULD BE A SIN, I ENJOY IT SO.