S1E1P2
"So what brings you to America? Or do you live here?" Rick asked, continuing the amiable conversation that had filled the silence when repeating the CD grew boring.
"My sister Hailey lives here with her daughter, Riley. She suggested me and Luke – our brother – come out to see them. It was supposed to be an escape of sorts."
"Escaping what?"
"My ex." I sighed. "We'd been dating for years. He broke up with me a few months ago, confessing at the time that he'd been cheating for almost a year. God I was stupid. I should have seen it sooner."
"Sounds like a piece of work." He said, his tone disapproving. I went to ask about his family when the car spluttered and died.
"Something wrong with the engine? I could take a look?"
"Nah," He said, tapping the fuel gage. "It was only a matter of time before we ran out. I've got a canister to get more. We'll just have to look for it."
Sighing, he got out of the car and went to the boot. I stared through the windscreen a while longer. It had been so long since I'd been in a moving vehicle. Sure, I'd driven the truck for a day or so but my mind had drifted between the murders I'd committed and the family I had lost. I didn't get much time to enjoy the ride.
With Rick I had enjoyed a car journey, but now it was back to walking. My feet ached at the thought but I ignored them and threw open the door, climbing out and stretching my back which cracked pleasantly.
"How far do you think we are from Atlanta?"I asked.
"Don't know. I'd say if we get fuel or find another car we'll be there in the day. If we have to walk though…" He left the end unsaid. I knew damn well it would take forever on foot. At least between us we had a good supply of food, though water could be an issue soon.
I swung my bag onto my back as Rick grabbed the guns and we left the car in the middle of the road. It felt weird to leave it there, habits of a more civilised time still plaguing me.
"What about your family?" I asked as the car became a speck behind us. Rick swung the fuel canister at his side.
"My wife and son, Lori and Carl. They left a note telling me where they'd gone."
"Which was Atlanta?"
"Yeah."
I looked at my feet as we continued, noticing dried blood on the toe of my boot and making a mental note to clean them next time we stopped. The silence became heavy as I wrestled with asking him the question I was too afraid to ask myself. After what felt like hours, I spat it out.
"What happens if they're not there?"
"They will be." Rick said, his unwavering certainty something I wished for. To be so sure that my family were close, that I would find them. I sighed.
"I'm not trying to say they're dead. It's just…I can't stop thinking that about my family. That they're gone and I'll never see them again."
Rick looked at me, his brow furrowed.
"I suppose you just have to focus on the fact that for all you know, they're alive and well whether that's in Atlanta or not. Unless I see my family dead, I won't believe they are."
"That's how you get through it?" I asked.
He nodded, and I realised he was right. It was like Schrödinger's cat, in a way. At this moment, my family was both dead and alive. I kept focusing on them being dead, but they could just as easily be alive. They were the cat, the walking dead the poison. Whether the poison killed them or not would remain unknown until I found them.
"Thanks Rick." I said, smiling at him. He smiled back before his attention was drawn to a house by the road. It was a pretty thing with white wood panelling and purple flowers by the porch. Rick put down the bag and the canister.
"Hello?" He said, approaching the house. "Police Officer out here. Can I borrow some gas?"
It was almost funny to see him acting as if things were so normal, but it was also deeply sad. I took off my bag and rested it by his stuff, rummaging through for something to eat. I gave him a nod as he looked back to me and spat on a rag, rubbing the spot of blood on my boot. Had it come from the soldiers or the walkers, I wondered.
Rick continued to call out to the people in that house, approaching the front door and moving around the porch. I doubted he'd find anyone. The place felt abandoned.
Beneath some clothes, supplies and sentimental pieces I found a squashed cereal bar and pulled it out, crossing my legs beneath me as I sat and munched through it. I considered saving half for Rick, but when he came back down from the porch he looked ready to throw up.
"What is it?" I asked, as he sat on a wall and struggled not to vomit.
"The people who lived here…They killed themselves. Shot in the head."
Glad I'd finished the cereal bar before asking, I washed it down with a mouthful of water and put everything away. Rick jumped to his feet and moved to the car presumably belonging to the now-deceased. He searched the interior for keys but with no luck. I was about to suggest we keep looking when a whinny caught our attention.
Behind the house was a huge green field in which a horse grazed. He had a beautiful chestnut coat and I grinned as we approached him, Rick resting his hat on a post by the gate.
"You know how to ride a horse?" I asked.
"Haven't done it in a while, but we're out of options." He said, giving me a nervous smile. I folded my arms and leaned against the post, watching as he slowly approached the horse.
"Easy now, easy." He said, fiddling with the harness he had grabbed from the fence. "I'm not going to hurt you, nothing like that. More like a proposal."
I hid a smile as I watched him talk to a horse who looked like he couldn't give a damn what Rick was saying.
"Atlanta's just down the road a way. It's safe there. Food, shelter, people, other horses too, I bet. How's that sound?"
Rick wrapped the harness around the horses neck and pulled him from the field, muttering reassurances as he went.
"You're good with horses." I said as Rick saddled him up. I held the harness while he did and though Rick fumbled occasionally, he seemed to know what he was doing. The horse I'd nicknamed chestnut stood calmly throughout.
"Beginners luck, more like." He said, grabbing the bag of guns.
"It'd be better if I carried that since I have to go behind you." I said, imagining the barrels of those guns bouncing near my face. He agreed with a smile and helped me put it on before mounting the horse.
Soon we were galloping towards Atlanta at a reasonable speed, a pleasant journey aside from the bruising to my thighs and back. Those guns were heavy. As we reached the city we rode down the empty highway, staring at the other side – the one leaving Atlanta – which was filled with wrecked and abandoned cars.
I tried not to take this as a bad sign, but the silence was oppressive and ominous. My arms instinctively tightened around Ricks' waist, but neither of us said a word, perhaps hoping we weren't thinking the same thing.
The City was empty of everything but rubbish and the dead. We passed a few Walkers in a bus, but not enough to be concerned about. There were no people, no telltale sounds of the living. Only a dead tank with a corpse on top.
"Rick-" I started, but he cut me off with a harsh shush. I frowned until I heard what he did: a helicopter. Looking up, I craned my neck for the source.
"There!" Rick said and I turned in time to see a reflection in the glass of a tower block. Rick kicked the horse into motion and my stomach lurched as we raced towards the street. We turned a corner and immediately halted, the horse bucking and almost throwing me free.
With wide eyes I took in a truly unimaginable number of the undead. My heart stopped, then pounded against my sternum as Rick turned the horse back the way it had come. I could feel his heart hammering beneath my grip.
I moaned as another crowd of Walkers filled our way out, trapping us between two masses that quickly became one. In the panic I saw only dead eyes and gaping jaws, hands stretched out in desperate need of my flesh. Then I was falling.
The horse whinnied as the dead devoured it. Pain shot through my back from landing on the guns, winding me. Before I could catch my breath, Rick was at my side, sitting me up. The weight fell from my shoulders and I groaned in relief until I saw what was around us.
They were everywhere, stumbling towards us with only one goal. I could smell their dead flesh and the warmth of the horses'. The Walkers tore into it. At least it was already dead.
"Under the tank!" Rick yelled, pushing me under before following himself. The walkers continued to crawl after us and the opposite end of the tank was already blocked by more. Gunshots pounded against my eardrums and I looked back to see Rick firing on them. He turned and shot one near the front.
Our eyes met, sharing the fear and desperation as it became clear there was no way out.
But I wasn't giving up that easily.
I looked around and saw a hole in the tank close to Rick.
"Rick!" I yelled, pointing. He looked up and immediately pulled himself inside. I scrambled over to the hole, the sounds of groans and my own frantic breath filling my ears as I reached for the hole. Rick grabbed my hands and wrenched me up before slamming the hatch shut.
At first we just breathed, relishing the fact we still could, but as Rick reached for the gun on the dead soldier, he reanimated.
"Rick, don't-" But he fired the gun and everything went hazy. I grabbed my head. My ears burned from the sound. I covered them with my hands, hunched over, and took several deep breathes. With my eyes closed I could almost pretend we weren't trapped.
When I opened my eyes, Rick was pulling the upper hatch shut and dropped to the floor beside me, cradling his head in his hands. I wanted to give him something, say it wasn't the end or that we would find something, but both seemed inadequate, especially since they sounded like lies even to me. I began to wish I'd joined the army and trained as an army mechanic. Then I might have known how to start the tank.
After a few seconds, the radio crackled. We both looked up in hope and I held my breath as the static warbled.
"Hey, you." A voice said, a man from the sounds of it. I exchanged a look with Rick and couldn't help but smile.
"Dumbasses." The voice said again.
"Hey, you two in the tank? Cosy in there?"
I looked at Rick, still grinning.
"This city isn't so dead after all."