Lieutenant Sumner is loud. Jamie was asleep when he came stomping into the room. She heard Sulu talking to him, "Trying to sleep." The Engineer had the gull to ask what he did that was so important, so Sulu told him. "Beat up Romulans on Vulcan then flew us back to Earth so that Kirk and Spock could rescue Pike and save the planet. Oh, and I flew us out of that singularity. Now, shut up."

Sulu tightened his hold on her as the engineer whispered that he was sorry and she didn't hear anything else until Sulu woke her up a few hours later. Jamie let out a groan before she opened her eyes, taking in the fact that he was already dressed.

"I got you a uniform and some coffee. We all planned to let you get more sleep but McCoy says that Pike's awake and asking for you." She nodded and glanced at his roommate, who was asleep and facing away from her.

She sat up in his bed, "Hikaru…"

He cut her off, "I won't make a big deal out of it if you won't."

"Fair enough," Jamie nodded. "I'll see you on the bridge?"

"Yes, ma'am. Somebody's gotta fly this thing."

Pike wasn't happy. This wasn't the first time he's given her a dressing down but it was the first time he yelled at her since she's known him. She was expecting it but she wasn't expecting it to hurt so damn much. Jamie wanted to curl up in a ball and die when she realized that Pike didn't think she was good enough. He didn't think she could do it, the only reason he didn't hand off command to someone else was because there was a lack of options.

She offered to step down but Spock, Scotty and Sulu all refused to take command. They claimed to be emotionally compromised, busy keeping the ship together, and less experienced than Jamie, in that order. She didn't know how real their responses where, just that they left her in the chair to her mentor's dismay.

She was not happy when she walked onto the bridge. Uhura glared at her from the moment she showed up and her day only got worse after talking to the brass. There was so much stuff to do and it seemed like she was the only one on her side. There came a point where she was counting down until the end of shift in her head.

'You alright?' her PADD lit up with the message from her helmsman.

'Nope… not even a little,' she replied.

He turned in his chair to glance at her, she shook her head, Jamie wasn't talking about it right now. She bolted from the bridge as soon as the shift was over without telling anyone where she was going.

"How did you find me?" It was well after their shift ended and Jamie was in a Jefferies tube helping the engineers.

"Lieutenant Commander Scott told me. Move over."

She had been in Engineering for hours; she figured that it was the only way to have some peace. She should've realized that someone would come looking for her eventually. Jamie chuckled but did as he asked, "So, what can I do for you, Sulu?"

"Talked to McCoy. He told us what Pike and the brass said. You okay?" Sulu asked. She nodded but she wasn't okay and he knew it. "You're a crappy liar."

"I'm really not," she shook her head. "I would've died a long time ago if I was. Hand me that." Sulu gave her the tool near his leg.

"Wanna tell me what's bothering you. McCoy says you won't talk to him, either."

"I won't talk to him because I have nothing to say to him. Pike either, aside from command stuff that I have to pass along that I have no choice about. The long and short of it is that they don't think I can do this. Pike is the closest thing I've ever had to a dad and Bones is my best friend and... You saw Bones on the bridge; he didn't back me up at all. Pike… Pike is disappointed, I can tell. He told me he didn't want me in the chair. He was trying to get one of you to take it. I don't know why I thought he'd care," Jamie sighed. "I feel like such an idiot. I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for him, I have done everything he's ever asked, with people judging me every step of the way. I took all that crap thinking that Pike had my back. I know he didn't mean for me to be in command but he'd be dead and Earth would be gone. I'm used to the brass giving me shit but for the only person who believed in me to suddenly stop believing, hurts. You know?" He nodded as he wiped the tears from her face. "Here I am, crying in the Jefferies… maybe he's right."

"I don't think he's right. I think he's tired, in pain and upset and he's taking it out on you because you're an easy target. And because you can handle it. Once he realizes the reality of what he said, he'll apologize. It can't be easy, getting tortured."

She shrugged, "It sucks. Been there, done that."

Sulu gave her a look, "The scars on your back?"

She figured that he had noticed and just didn't say anything. She nodded, "Tarsus Four. You ever hear of Samuel and Jai Dawson?" He'd seen the list, it was part of the Federation History classes for second and third year cadets.

Hikaru nodded, he didn't seem fazed by that bit of information, it actually seemed like something in his mind clicked. "Instead of George Samuel Kirk junior and his sister Jamie. I figured that you went through something. There aren't many people who could take a beating from Romulans, a Vulcan and then more Romulans and still walk around afterward with nothing more than a bunch of bruises… there isn't that much endurance training in the universe. If memory serves, Samuel and Jai had parents and a brother; Jeffery, Marie and James Dawson?"

"Aunt, uncle and cousin. Winona dumped me and Sam on them, apparently space was more important to her and my stepdad was… handsy. I'm the only one of the five Dawson's to make it, even though the list says I didn't. I don't like talking about it… not that anybody cares."

"I care. Why do you think I came looking for you? Someone has to make sure that you're okay. Friends don't let friends mope alone," he told her.

"No, friends don't let friends mope without ice cream, Jamie couldn't help but smile. "You should know that being my friend is dangerous; people around me either get hurt or end up dead. Just giving you fair warning."

"Well, too late because I'm already your friend," he laughed. "And as you know, I can take care of myself. Now, you said something about ice cream. Mint chocolate chip?"

She smiled and nodded, "Spying on me, Hikaru?"

"Nope… lucky guess, come on," Sulu said, offering her his hand. Jamie finished what she was working on and followed him to the galley.

One more day. They would be home in one more day. Jamie had just wrapped up a staff meeting when Uhura approached her, "Captain, everyone has contacted their family, everyone except you."

"I'm good, Lieutenant," Jamie said with a small smile. Bones and Sulu looked in their direction; both men were well aware about Jamie's family.

"But, your mother is…" Uhura started. Jamie cut her off.

"I know where she is. I don't want or need to talk to Commander Thomas." Jamie really didn't want to have this conversation but Uhura wasn't going to quit.

"She's your mother."

Jamie took a breath, "No, she's the bitch that threw me and my brother away. I have spent more time with Bones' mom in the past three years than I've spent with Winona in my entire life." A look crossed the communications officer's face and Jamie knew she was going to regret this but she couldn't help herself. "She abandoned us, Uhura… we got shuffled from one person to the next until she married Frank and left us with him. Then, instead of protecting her children when he abused us, she sent us to live off planet with her sister's family. My aunt and uncle were great until Kodos killed them, my cousin, my brother and four thousand of our neighbors. I'm the one who planned their funerals; I was thirteen years old. My big brother bled to death in my arms and she didn't even bother to show up to lay him or her sister to rest. She doesn't give a damn about me, so excuse me if I don't what to talk to her. There's a reason that Pike and Bones are listed as my next of kin. They both know that I'm alive. Now, drop it."

Uhura looked at her, "I'm so…"

"Don't. I don't want an apology or need the pity. So don't. That's how I knew Spock was emotionally compromised, by the way. Watching the person you love more than life itself die is something that changes you, instantly. The look in Spock's eyes was the same look I've seen in the mirror every day since my brother… Every part of your being just hurts. You've spent the last three years thinking that I was nothing but a nepotistic idiot without a care in the world, well welcome to my reality, Nyota." Jamie walked right past her and left the room.

"You should've seen their faces," Sulu said to her as he entered their shared room.

Jamie just shrugged, "I didn't mean to say all that… I'm tired and pissed off and I just opened my big mouth."

He nodded and sat next to her on the bed, "Wanna know what I think?"

She let out a breath, "By all means."

"I think you liked it," Sulu smirked. "Telling her off. We've all seen you two around campus. Even when you do something to help Uhura, she still gives you crap and I think you enjoyed watching her face as she realized what you've been through. I doubt the others will say anything but I'd bet you anything that they're finally understanding why you do the things that you do the way you do them."

"Say that three times fast," Jamie chuckled.

"Not a chance in hell," he smiled. "You can admit it. Go on."

"There was a little satisfaction in finally telling Uhura off," she smiled. Jamie's been taking crap from that girl from day one but blurting that all out wasn't a good idea. People already think she's overly emotional… at this point, screw 'em. "You know, you're sneaky."

"How so?" he asked with a laugh.

Jamie looked at him, "You're quiet, unassuming and even mysterious but, man… I don't ever want to get on your bad side." Sulu is dangerous. Hot and dangerous but not like Jamie's hot and dangerous. People could see 'soldier' when she walked into a room but Sulu was more like a spy or a… "Ninja. You're like a fucking Space Ninja. You just sneak up on people and take 'em down with that damn sword. You gotta teach me how to use that thing."

He laughed so hard that Jamie could feel it. "We'll see. I guess it's a good thing that we're on the same side, G.I. Jane." Jamie laughed at the old reference to female soldiers; it fit her.

"I guess so."

The Admiralty is crazy. They upheld her field promotion; she's officially the youngest Captain in the fleet. Then they gave her the Enterprise… crazy. Of course, there were a lot of people pissed off by that fact.

After getting everyone home and debriefing over and over and over again, she thought that she would have some peace but her best friend finally realized why she wasn't talking to him and apologized for not backing her up, every time he saw her. She let him wallow for a few days but she could never stay mad at Bones, the man was practically her brother, so she forgave him.

She had to get away from all the paperwork, technical reports, the looks and the questions, so she decided to go for a run. Jamie would love to beat someone up but her favorite sparring partner, an Orion cadet named Ard, was dead.

Everybody was dead… well, almost everybody. The official numbers came down the pipe two weeks after they got back; eighty-one percent of their class was killed. She should've been shocked but she wasn't, she thought about it as her feet hit the pavement winding around the half-empty Starfleet Academy campus. Jamie slowed down in Crissy Field, near the water and watched as the teams recovered Nero's drill from its place next to the Golden Gate Bridge.

"Close, huh?"

She smiled at the voice, "Really close… too close." She looked at him as he moved to stand next to her. They were wearing almost the same thing; tight, black running pants and Starfleet Academy t-shirts, hers was grey and his was gold.

"Tell me about it, my family lives here," Sulu chuckled. "My mom saw the drill when it hit the water." Jamie touched his arm. She knew his family lived in San Francisco, his mom was a theoretical bio-engineer who worked for the Federation and his little sister, Yuki, was a cadet in her second year.

Jamie couldn't imagine having a family mixed in this mess. Worrying about Bones' mom and daughter was stressful enough. She got to meet the Sulu family when she got her commendation and took command of the Enterprise. She thought his dad was pretty cool. Hosato is a poet; Jamie read one of his collections, Fire in Frost. They talked about it for almost an hour; it was the only non-Starfleet or space conversation she'd had in weeks.

They started walking and Jamie looked at him, "I've been meaning to talk to you."

He looked at her, "Really? What's up?"

"I need a senior helm officer. You want the job?" Jamie asked him.

"Are you asking everybody in person?"

She nodded, "All four hundred and seventy-three of you. Don't make me beg, Space Ninja. Just say you're the guy to fly my ship."

"I'm your guy, G.I. Jane," he said with a smile. If only. He chuckled.

"I said that out loud, didn't I?"

"Yep. Don't worry about it though. I won't tell anybody that you have a crush on me," the pilot told her.

Jamie looked at him, "A crush, what are we… twelve?"

He shrugged, "Okay, fair enough. I won't tell anybody that you have a thing for me."

"I'm human… we all have our faults," she smiled.

Hikaru put his hands over his heart, "Ouch. I think my heart just broke."

Jamie shrugged, "That's what you get, Mister Sulu. I fight dirty."

"I noticed," he smiled. They were quiet for a moment. "What would you say if I asked you out, hypothetically?"

She thought about it for a moment, "Hypothetically, if you asked me out, I would hypothetically say yes. Hypothetically speaking."

She really should put an end to this but she couldn't bring herself to, nice guys usually don't flirt with her. Yea, she slept with him already but that wasn't out of the ordinary for her. Jamie was actually worried that she could do some real damage to the man walking next to her if they got too close. He must be a mind reader because he smiled, "Stop thinking that I'm gonna get hurt. I'll take my chances… it what makes life interesting."

"Oh yea?" she smirked. "Race you back." She took off and he was right behind her, damn those long legs of his. He beat her back to their dorm.

"Enjoy the view back there?"

She smiled, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

He laughed, "That's why I asked, ma'am." Jamie shuddered, she was never gonna get used to that.

"So, you won. Name your prize," she told him as they entered the building that they would all be moving out of soon.

"I'll get back to you on that one, Captain."