Michael sighed, and, feeling like a complete and utter idiot (which didn't happen often), called out to whoever was the first angel waiting in the wings. "We are ready for the first audition."
The judges – Castiel, Balthazar and Samandriel, with Michael as the head judge, of course – were sitting in four comfortably cushioned spin chairs parallel to an internally lighted panel. Well, I say sitting; Castiel and Samandriel were perching awkwardly on the edge, due to still being unused to sitting down; Michael sat more into his seat, but with his back ramrod straight, as he had been taught by his Father; meanwhile, Balthazar couldn't get more laid back, with one leg dangling over the armrest, and the rest of his body practically sprawling over the remainder of the chair, with his arms insouciantly folded. Immediately after Gabriel had instructed them as to what they had to do, said angels had retreated back to Heaven and Michael sent out the message about the auditions via angel radio, while the others simply waited in the background. They had then waited another couple of days while the angels that would be auditioning practised their acts to perfection. Then, once they had all prepared, the judges found themselves abruptly teleported back to the theatre, which brings us back to the start of the auditions.
The first act to arrive on stage consisted of Zachariah alone, who claimed he was about to do a magic act.
"For this act, I will chain myself into this metal box, which is warded with Enochian angel sigils, and reappear across the stage. I will only have a matter of seconds to do so. But first, may I ask for an assistant to make sure I am completely trapped?"
"Uh, I will." A small voice emanated from the stage wings. Shortly after, the owner of which tentatively stepped out onto the stage, glancing at Zachariah for approval.
"Of course!" Zachariah answered the man's silent question. "I don't remember seeing you before in Heaven or on Earth – what is your name?"
"Er… I'm – um – I'm Ezekiel. Yeah. Not the guy who let Lucifer into the garden, or anything. No. I'm totally Ezekiel." Ezekiel stuttered suspiciously, tiptoeing fully into sight as the bald-headed angel paced into the metal box and asked him to do up the chains as securely as possible. However, Ezekiel was fiddling around for longer than was necessary, and appeared to be changing the sigils inside the box. Therefore, when the box was slammed shut and Zachariah should have teleported across the stage, he remained struggling inside the metal trap for a good few minutes, and a couple of stage hands had to break him out. Ezekiel had long disappeared. The judges made no comments.
The next act was Naomi, who described her act as a different sort of dancing: "This is an interpretive dance, which I have named 'Memories.'"
"It sounds intriguing. You can start whenever you're ready." Castiel stated. For some unknown reason, Samandriel looked vaguely terrified, and shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
A dreamy, strange sort of hypnotic music began playing, and Naomi pranced around the stage for a while. Then she made her way down the stairs and, before any of the judges or security could stop her, she had her hands on Castiel's head and appeared to place him in some kind of trance. An angel blade promptly materialised in the seraph's hand, and he went to stab Samandriel, who was shaking like a leaf, and leaning far back in his chair.
"No… Not again!" The adorable angel screamed as the blade advanced towards him, and Naomi grinned. But the weapon didn't have chance to reach Samandriel's flesh before Michael intervened.
"No fighting or killing allowed, Naomi. You are not abiding by the rules. I hereby disqualify you." Castiel went back to his normal self, apologising to Samandriel, who breathed a shaky sigh of relief. Naomi prepared to walk off-stage.
"I thought you were brilliant, darling." Balthazar quipped, winking and blowing a kiss at the second auditionee, just before she could leave. She smiled briefly at him, and then exited the stage.
"I still don't understand why we have to do this…" Castiel glanced at the head judge, squinting his eyes in confusion. Michael simply shrugged, and welcomed on the next audition.
There were a few more angels auditioning, but for a while, none of them stood out. Uriel recited a poem about how beautiful Satan is, so Michael naturally stopped him halfway through. Anna Milton, Hester, Hannah and Hael formed a girl band, but then Hannah, Hael and Anna went a bit crazy over Cas while Hester practically hissed at him, so they didn't last long. Then, after a while, a certain curly grey-haired angel that bore an uncanny resemblance to a fat owl came on stage, bearing a ludicrous-looking typewriter.
"Hello. Today, I've come here to tell you some Fanfiction ideas I have, and recite to you a couple of chapters of my latest Destie-"
"Metatron?" Castiel interrupted, yet again squinting his eyes at the irritatingly smug angel, but more in suspicion than confusion this time.
"The scribe? Ugh. Get out." Michael sighed, clearly disgusted by the mere sight of Metatron.
"Can't we at least give him a chance?" Samandriel pleaded, his obliviously innocent eyes gazing across at his fellow judges.
"Honey, you don't know this man." Balthazar replied, and began booing loudly and deliberately. The other angels, Michael and Castiel, desperately wanted to join in, however Michael's dignity wouldn't allow him to, and Castiel found it an extremely human action, therefore was slightly puzzled by it. Samandriel simply sat there, feeling sorry for Metatron as he slunk back into the wings.
Finally, the last act came on. It consisted of the second youngest archangel, and the weapons keeper of Heaven; that is, Raphael and Virgil respectively. The second they strolled onto the 'X' in the centre of the stage, Balthazar sighed the words 'bloody hell', and almost got out of his seat. However, one Sam Winchester worthy glare from Michael stopped him in his tracks. Castiel also glared unrelentingly at Raphael, but Michael couldn't really prevent that.
"Nice to see you." Samandriel greeted politely, moving on to the regulation question. "What will you be performing for us today?"
"Virgil and I will be singing, but we'd like to keep the song title a surprise." Raphael replied in his inhumanly (or rather, un-angelically) deep voice, glancing pointedly at Balthazar as he spoke.
"Very well. Whenever you're ready." Michael gestured for them to begin, his tone more irritable due to Balthazar annoying him – he had begun tutting rudely, since he couldn't leave.
The first few notes of the song drifted out from backstage, and Virgil opened his mouth to sing.
"Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feeeeeel you…" His voice was hilariously high-pitched, but Raphael soon joined in with the chorus.
"And I know that my heart will go ooooooon…"
"Right, that just takes the biscuit." Balthazar's reaction was priceless. This time, the oldest archangel couldn't stop him from aggressively shoving his chairs back and storming down the excruciatingly long walk through the audience and slamming the fire exit door shut as he left.
"I will never understand Balthazar's complete abhorrence for that song." Castiel declared monotonously, shaking his head slightly at his friend's teenager-ish attitude. Sighing, Michael reluctantly raised a hand, stopping the backing track, therefore the duet of least-angelic angels.
"I do apologise, but you'll have to pick another song." Michael stated, utterly disbelieving of his younger brother's immature behaviour.
"Of course. I have another song choice, but it is only for a solo singer…" Raphael claimed, and Virgil nodded and departed from the stage.
"BALTHAZAR! GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!" Hearing Michael's yelling, Balthazar replied, his voice sounding fairly close. He must have stayed behind the door when he left, inferring he was planning on returning anyway.
"ONLY IF THEY QUIT SINGING BLOODY CELINE DION!"
"IT'S OKAY, THEY'VE CHOSEN ANOTHER SONG!" Samandriel reassured Balthazar, and since the angel was so adorable and trustworthy, Balthazar took his word for it, and emerged from the fire exit once again, returning to his seat in a huff.
"This had better be good…" He grumbled quietly, so Michael couldn't have a go at him again. Raphael then began a rendition of 'Dude Looks Like a Lady', which wasn't actually half bad.
Soon after, all the auditions were over for Heaven, and the judges began deliberating over their winner.
A/N:
So, I hope you guys are enjoying this fic so far! Forgot to mention, I'll be updating only once a week for this one, since I'm also writing another fic at the same time during the week. Just as a side note: who's excited for Tuesday? :D Well, it will be Wednesday for us Brits, but I'm still over the moon. I just can't believe that season 10 is airing in only 3 days! Anyhow, I'll see you with chapter 3 next weekend!