"Sorry a lot!" Dawnfire moaned. "I've gotten plenty of videos, so we can start the episode right now."
"That's good," Duskstorm sighed. "Where are Zakuro and Kish?"
"Some person insulted them earlier, so they ran off. They think people don't want them in the story," Dawnfire replied. "So I've made a new poll on my profile. Should Zakuro and Kish stay in my stories, or should I take them out?"
"I want them to stay, but it's up to the fans," Duskstorm agreed.
"So let's begin!" Jackalpaw announced.
"In 5…4…3…2…1…ACTION!" Scourge's tiny voice rang out.
"Hey, and welcome back to The Lake's Funniest Home Videos, Season 3! I'm Dawnfire, and these are Duskstorm, Jackalpaw, and Burt!"
"First off, a very funny video sent in by Dawnfire2222—"
"I LOVE THAT NAME!!!" Dawnfire shouted randomly.
"Yeah. Anyway, sent in by Dawnfire2222, 'Tigerstar?'!"
*on TV*
Tigerstar: Your so cute and cuddly, aren't you? *gigantic mic appears out of nowhere, and Tigerstar begins to speak in it* I WUV YOU SO MUCH!!!
Hawkfrost: *bounding in wearing a tutu and dancing to Swan Lake* Hey d— *freezes in horror* Dad, WHY IN THE WORLD ARE YOU KISSING A PLUSHIE OF FIRESTAR!?!
*end of video*
"Ha! Tigerstar can be so funny sometimes," Dawnfire laughed. She looked at the paper. "Next, from jayfeatherlove, 'Moments!"
*on TV*
Graystripe: *runs into tree* Oh hi Shirley. Didn't see you there. May I claw you? *claw claw*
Shirley: ...
*scene changes*
Jayfeather: Sticky! *kisses stick* Have you Got mousemeat for Stickkit, Smoothstick and Markstick?
Stick: Yes, but I ran into Cinderheart, and she told me that she has her own stick now and that he's better looking than me. *pouts*
Jayfeather: *breaks into song, dancing the can-can, and singing show tunes*
Stick: What the heck, Jayfeather! Not again. *Whispers* And not in front of the kits and sticks.
Jayfeather:*While dancing* The kits are blind and deaf, which they get from your side of the family by the way, and I'm sure this will be just fine.
Stick:...
*scene changes*
Firestar: Hey burrito!
Burrito: ...
Firestar: Burrito! Why aren't you talking to me? Are you...breaking up withme?! *cries*
Burrito: ...
Firestar: Is it because I'm a cat and your a burrito? Because I don't care-!
Burrito: Just shut up already! I'm leaving to go find Smudge!
Firestar: ...*sulks in emo corner*
Burrito: Oh get over it already. You were too gassy anyway.
Firestar: *Runs away, half drunk on catnip, and smacks into a tree.* Oh, Hi.
Shirley: Hi Graystripe.
Graystripe: ... *While clawing Shirley*
Shirley: ...
*end of video*
"That was pretty funny. I love the burrito one the most," Duskstorm laughed.
"I agree," Dawnfire said. "Next, from XxRandom NemesisxX, 'Jayfeather and Leafpool dueling with lightsabers'!"
*on video*
Jayfeather: I know the truth! Squirrelflight is not my mother!
Leafpool: What else did Bluestar tell you?
Jayfeather: That you killed who ever my mother is for your evil schemas.
Leafpool: No. Jayfeather, I am your mother!
Jayfeather: NO!
*end of video*
"I don't see what that has to do with lightsabers, but okay, it was funny!" Dawnfire said. "XxRandom NemesisxX also has one called 'Firestar and Tigerstar battling with lightsabers', and here it is."
*on TV*
Firestar: If you strike me down I will become even more powerful.
Tigerstar: Die kittypet!
Sauron: (Walks in and stabs Tigerstar in the heart with his sword)
Firestar: Um…
Sauron: (turns and corners Firestar) tell me where the ring is!
Firestar: What ring!
Sauron: Oops! Wrong book.
*end of video*
"Three letters: L-O-L!" Dawnfire laughed. "Next, from Kylyn, 'The Crazy Epic of the Mixed-up Clans'!"
*on TV*
ThunderClan: *starts swimming*
RiverClan: What are you doing in the river! Tresspassers!
Voletooth: Hey, a rabbit! Let's get it!
RiverClan: Okay! *chase after rabbits*
WindClan: Get off our territory! *hiss in a hostile, ShadowClan-like way* Now we'll steal your territory! Mua ha ha!
ShadowClan: Come, Missy, come join the Clan.
Missy the Kittypet: Okay!
*end of video*
"Ha! Hilarious! Great idea, Kylyn!" Duskstorm laughed.
"Next, from warriorz, 'Fighting with Chickens'!"
*on TV*
Birchfall and Millie: *fighting with chickens*
Birchfall: Millie, have you met -pen-doop-sie?
Millie: *flights with male roosters* no, who's -pen-doop-sie?
Birchfall: this! *a giant ball of moss sits there* shiny shiny shiny *shines moss with car oil*
Millie: Beep beep! Weeo-weeoo-weeoo-weeo-wo-wweo-beep beep honk honk snorrt!
*end of video*
"That was random," Dawnfire giggled.
"Next, from warriorz, 'Firestar and Leopardstar, fighting with TMM books'!"
*on TV*
Firestar: where's the tail?
Leopardstar: what tail?
InuYasha: *stabs Leoparstar with book of Tokyo Mew Mew* Where's -pocky
bear?
Firestar: who?
InuYasha: *looks for bear and cries * POCKY BEAR!
*end of video*
"Again, very random," Jackalpaw commented.
"Next, from Dawnfire2222, 'How Hawkfrost really died'!"
*on TV*
Hawkfrost: *wearing a ballet tutu and carrying a camera comes in dancing to Swan Lake freezes in complete horror* No wonder daddy doesn't let anyone into his den!
Tigerstar: *talking to a poster of Firestar, and wearing a bra, a bikini, and a lot of makeup* Oh aren't you just so handsome, aren't you? Why did you have to go with Sandstorm, Firestar? Why did you have to leave me?
The next day, there were a hundred pictures of Tigerstar, in a bra, kissing a Firestar plushie on the wall.
The day after that, Hawkfrost was found dead.
*end of video*
"Ha, funny," giggled Duskstorm. "Next, from dawn, 'Dream'!"
*on TV*
Jayfeather:*walking*
Leafpool:look out!
Jayfeather:*falls into lake*what fo-
*later in the med. den*
Jayfeather: *dreaming* cool. I'm seeing outside of my body, just like in Hannah Montana! Hi Bluestar and cat with camera.
Bluestar: I love that show!
Bluestar and Jayfeather: *pulls out wigs* you get the limo... *sing*
Cat with camera: *backs away from the crazy cats*
*end of video*
"Heh, funny," Burt said from the bottom of the Great Rock.
"Very," Jackalpaw agreed.
"Next, from Swansong102, 'Cinderheart Tries Too Hard'!"
*on TV*
Cinderheart: *in the medicine den singing Feelin' me Feelin' by Alica Keys*
Jayfeather: *walks in* Cinderheart why are you in here? *looks past her for his stick*
Cinderheart:Through having long conversations on the phone can't get you otta my mind baby are u feeling me feeling you everything you say and everything you gets me lost in your gaze at a time tell me are you feeling me feeling you…
Jayfeather: No I'm not feeling you I love Sticky and possibly Poppyfrost.
Cinderheart: What! *runs away screaming and crying*
Jayfeather: Sticky! I'm so glad she didn't hurt you!
Cinderheart: *comes back and breaks Sticky* If I can't have you no one can!
Poppyfrost: *comes in*
Jayfeather: Poppyfrost run!
Poppyfrost: *runs*
Cinderheart: *catches Poppyfrost and kills her*
Jayfeather: My loves! I shall love Wilowshine!
Cinderheart: *runs to RiverClan to kill Willowshine*
Jayfeather: *runs to RiverClan to save Willowshine*
*end of video*
"Hilarious! Couldn't stop laughing!" Dawnfire said in between gasps.
"Next, from Hawktail2000, 'Clan Boredom'!"
*on TV*
Squirrelflight: *chugs a six pack of Mountain Dew
Firestar: *reading "War and Peace"*
Brambleclaw: *banging his head on the wall of Firestar's den*
Sorraltail: *staring into space like a zombie*
*CRASH!*
Squirrelflight: I AM HYPER!
Firestar: *drops the book and puts on some heavy metal music*
Brambleclaw: *starts doing the disco*
Sorraltail: *starts talking at the speed of sound*
Squirrelflight: PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!
Firestar: *turns up the heavy metal music until it's practically blowing the roof off the den*
Brambleclaw: *stops doing the disco, grabs a guitar and starts playing along with the heavy metal music*
Sorraltail: *breaks the sound barrier and starts talking at the speed of sound*
POP! snap! Crackle!
*radio goes dead*
Squirrelflight: *grabs another six pack of Mountain Dew from the fridge*
Firestar: *picks up "War and Peace" and starts reading again*
Brambleclaw: *resumes banging his head on the wall of Firestar's den*
Sorraltail: *stares into space like a zombie*
*end of video*
"Random! And funny!" Duskstorm meowed, purring in amusement.
"Next, from Hawktail2000, 'Mine!'!"
*on TV*
Leafpool: *sets a plate of brownies on a rock to cool*
Squirrelflight: *walks up to the plate of brownies and takes a sniff* Mmm, brownies!
Leafpool: Squirrelflight! Quit drooling over my brownies!
Squirrelflight: But they smell SO good!
Leafpool: *picks up a stick and hits Squirrelflight on the head* GET AWAY FROM MY BROWNIES YOU SMELLY PIECE OF FOX DUNG! THEY'RE MINE, YOU HEAR ME! MINE!
*end of video*
"Leafpool has anger issues," laughed Jackalpaw.
"Do not!" came Leafpool's voice from the audience.
"Next, from Incohnito. Anonymous Incognito, 'Jayfeather is Gay'!"
*on TV*
One normal day, or as normal as it could be with Jayfeather,
Jayfeather Faingirl: OH EM GEE! HE IS SO CUTE!
Jayfeather: *fawning over a poster of Dustpelt* AHHHHH!
Lionblaze: hears his brother's screeching and comes into the den* Eep! *his confused face turned to one of uttermost horror when he sees Jayfeather dancing in front of the poster* Uh, Jayfeather? Why are you standing in front of a poster? You're blind. And
we're cats! We don't have printers!
Jayfeather: CUZ MY DUSTY IS SO CUT ROFLCOPTEROMGWTFBBQHAHAYAY! *accidentally mistakes his own hind leg for a Dustpelt plushie*
Lionblaze: *slowly backs out of the medicine den* I'VE GOTTA REPORT THIS TO FIRESTAR!!! *runs to Firestar's den*
Firestar: *hugging a Spottedleaf plushie, then sees Lionblaze* GO AWAY! I'M BONDING WITH MY SPOTTY-POO!
A TV comes out of nowhere.
Firestar: *throws TV at Lionblaze*
Lionblaze: *freaked out, runs out of camp and finds himself in a Mexican resturaunt*
Random guys who don't look Latino: *starts singing about Llamas.
Lionblaze: *attacks one of the guys playing a violin*
Guy playing the violin: *turns into a banana*
Angry Monkey: *steals banana*
Lionblaze: *screams, then finds himself back in the forest, in the middle of a duel between Sticky and Poppyfrost*
Poppyfrost: I WILL WIN JAYFEATHER'S LOVE!
Sticky: *sits on a rock*
Poppyfrost: YOU WILL DIE!
Sticky: *sitting on the rock*
Poppyfrost: SHUT UP!
Sticky: *...Sat...On...A...Rock*
Jayfeather: *walks by*
Poppyfrost: *pounces on him* YOU LOVE ME BEST, RIGHT?!" she yelled at him.
Jayfeather: *pushes her off* NO! I LOVE DUSTPELT, NOT YOU! GO AWAY!
Sticky: *crying* So Mudkit, Branchkit and Woodkit mean nothing to you?!
Jayfeather: *runs over to Sticky and shoots it with a super pwnsauce gun*
Lionblaze: JAYFEATHER, WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE GUNS!
Tigerstar: *cackling ominously in the background* My evil plan is working! Soon, Jayfeather will shoot everyone in the forest and I can get a contract to make this a soap opera! BWAHAHA!
To Be Continued...
*end of video*
"That was long," Dawnfire panted.
"Next, from Mistyfang ShadowClan Cat, 'ThunderClan Loses their Minds'!"
*on TV*
Squirrelflight: *Marjorly high on overdose of mice* WOOH HOO! SHADOWCLAN!
RIVERCLAN! WINDCLAN! Join us at the kick Firestar butt party!
Firestar: *Returns from patrol* You didn't...
All Clans: *Trample Firestar*
Thornclaw: *Screaming and running around camp* Russetfur touched me! *Puts paw on Jayfeather* RUSSETFUR GERMS!
Jayfeather: ARGH! IT BURNS! *Runs at Squirrelflight* RUSSETFUR GERMS!
*10 minutes later*
Graystripe: ARRGH! GERMS!
Ashfoot: Let's play Catch and Kiss!
Clans: Yay!
Firestar: OH NO!
Sandstorm: I CAUGHT YOU! Kissy time.
Firestar: *Screams and runs around camp*
Squirrelflight: *Slithers over to Brambleclaw* Is it working? Has Firestar lost his mind?
Brambleclaw: *Checks Losing-your-mind-anotar* Yup. Definitely. It's falling out now!
Firestar: *Screams in mental pain and drops dead on the ground*
Blackstar: WOO HOO! We can go home now!
Clans: *Clear out of Thunderclan*
Lionblaze: We have no leader now!
Brambleclaw: I AM LEADER! Thornclaw! You're deputy. Murder Blackstar please.
Thornclaw: *Grins evilly*
Graystripe: THE END OF THE WORLD IS HERE!
Sol: *Appears Randomly* Yes, Gray cat, there are sixty millions moons in the sky!
Thunderclan: ARGH! IT'S SOL! *All run around and around camp until they fall
down and scream in mental pain and die*
Sol: Nothing happened here. *Walks out*
*In Dark Forest*
Tigerstar: I will kill your Sol! Look what you did!
Ashfur: No offence or anything but all cats to carry out your evil deeds are
dead.
Tigerstar: *Rubs paws together* Russetfur is my new minion! She will kill
Sol!
Dark Forest Cats: *Stare*
Tigerstar: *Falls off rock he was standing on* WOO HOO!
*end of video*
"Loved the last part!"
"I agree," Dawnfire meowed. "Next, from Incognito. Anonymous Incognito, 'Close encounters of the Shroom Kid'!"
*on TV*
Jayfeather: Tra la la la la! I'm skipping in a field of daisies! Tra la la!
*Suddenly, a magical pink mushroom appears!*
Jayfeather: Oo oo! Pwetty plant! I wonder if it's tasty... *chomps the mushroom.* Uh...OO! YAY! PRETTY COLORS! *runs off to chase the pwetty colors.
*meanwhile, at the ThunderClan camp*
Lionblaze: Uhh, hey, have you seen Jayfeather? I think he ran away...
Leafpool: Um. No. I haven't seen him for abou-
*A howl is heard, and Jayfeather rushes in.*
Jayfeather: OMG OMG OMG HI ALL! *Dances around, knocking over various herbs.* LIKEHAHAITSSOFUNYAYYAY!
Lionblaze: *inches away from his brother.*
Leafpool: Um, Jayfeather, are you okay?
*Jayfeather: *barrels into Leafpool, sticking his nose into her face.* OMGHIHIYAIMFINEHAHAHAYAYYA!
*Squirrelflight rushes in.*
Squirrelflight: What's going on in here?! Jayfeather, what's got into you?!
Jayfeather: OMG MOM! YAYAYAY!
Squirrelflight: I'm not your mother!
Jayfeather: WAHAHAHA!WHYAREYOUSOMEANTOME! *runs away, crying*
Bluestar: *walks in*
Firestar: Bluestar! But you're-you're-
Leafpool: Uh, Firestar? Um, what're you doing here? And how'd you get in?
Firestar: I used the hidden door. Duh.
Squirrelflight: ...I didn't know we had one of those...
Scourge: *runs in with a marshmallow bomb!* AND NOW YOU SHALL ALL DIE! MWAHAHAHA!
Marshmallow Bomb: Splat.
Bluestar: I have come back to defend you all! DIE, EVIL MARSHMALLOW!
*Bluestar pounces on the marshmallow bomb, which 'splodes, covering
everything in white.*
*end of video*
"Loved that one!" Dawnfire giggled. "Finally, from jayfeatherlove3333, 'Confused Book AGAIN!!!'!"
*on TV*
Firestar: ThunderClan, attack!
Blackstar: What did we ever do to you, Firestar?
Firestar: DIE SLYTHERIN DIE!
Blackstar: *looking confused* Huh? Who's Slytherin?
Firestar: Whoops, wrong book.
*end of video*
"That concludes our show tonight, friends! See you next time!" Dawnfire yowled. The cameras lowered, and everyone let out a sigh of relief.
"Well, 'night," Duskstorm meowed.
"Don't forget to vote on the poll," Dawnfire reminded. "'Night!"