I loved the feedback! Thank you! Here is a small chapter for my readers. I wish I had more time to write, but.. I am afraid it isn't the time yet. But soon. I hope. Anyway, I will try my best (Without any promises) to update at least twice a month. Sounds good, yeah? New year new me and all (I say in late february, I know..). Let's hope I can do it!

Chapter 2

From: Rockstar75

To: ClosetedPoetess

Date: Oct 11 at 3.26 PM

Subject: When you knew

I guess I am just curious on when you knew.. I personally had a hard time accepting the fact that I found other women attractive. At first I tried to deny it, you know? I was thinking the whole 'It is just because you admire her, and want to be exactly like her', and I would always try to force myself to find something about boys, that I would like.. Am I making any sense? I hope I am.

Anyway, I think the first time I really knew that it was more than just admiration, was when Peggy Carter was kissed by Dottie Underwood in Agent Carter. (I hope you know the show) and that is when I started questioning my sexuality. It wasn't even a big kiss, or something that happened more frequently, but still.. So I first told myself that I was bisexual, that I liked both men and women, because then I would be easier to accept for my parents, right? They would still have a chance to get a son law. But today I have accepted that I am not bisexual. I don't even know what I am, tbh I don't like labels. I mean, sure.. Sometimes it would be nice to know deep down and to have a label that you feel comfortable in, but at the end of the day I can admit to myself that I find women attractive, and I guess that is all that matters.

I also think that I had a hard time accepting myself, because it is not what is expected of me. I am not supposed to be queer. I am supposed to finish high school, graduate college, find a boyfriend and then get married, have some kids and then be a house wife. My parents dreams for me and their visions? They aren't exactly the same as my own. If I could pick for myself I would want a great career. I am thinking of becoming a surgeon, but I would never dare to tell my parents that. Just like I wouldn't dare to tell them that I am attracted to girls. It is a fear of mine. What if they kick me out? What if they disown me? What if…

I also just realised I never really wrote this long an email before. Or could it be called a text? I am not sure.. Anyway, I hope you had a great day.

-Purple

From: ClosetedPoetess

To: Rockstar75

Date: Oct 11 at 4.57 PM

Subject: Re: When you knew

Whoa… First of all… Hayley Atwell as Peggy Carter? HOT! I totally get why she was the one to question your sexuality. I have a poster with her on my wall, in between a lot of other women that I admire or find pretty. (Caity Lotz, Sandra Bullock, Blake Lively, Kate McKinnon etc.)

I think the fear of your parents finding out and not accepting is normal. I mean, some LGBT+ children/(young) adults are lucky enough to see how open minded their parents are, and that way they won't feel as uncomfortable when they have to come out. I also really admire the people who doesn't come out per say, but simply bring a girl or a boy home and introduce them as a boyfriend or girlfriend. I really wish I had the courage to do that. And at some plan I guess I have the courage for that. It is not that I fear my parents will kick me out, but I fear that they won't look at me the same way, or that they won't be able to ever love me as much as before, you know? I fear that something will change. What if the unconditionally love from your parents suddenly isn't so unconditionally? What if there is a limit to what they can and cannot accept about you?

My whole point with that is.. Okay, actually there were two points with my ramble:

1. I don't get why people have to come out. You don't hear about straight people coming out. And I mean, I know why.. It is because it is the "normal" thing to be. Straight. But still… Why does the LGBT+ community have to come out? Why do we have to stand in front of our parents with tears in our eyes and tell them that we are attracted to one or more genders? It doesn't make sense. Sometimes, I wish that instead of debating whether or not boys are allowed to love boys and girls are allowed to love girls, then why not debate some of the things that really matters? Love is love, and people have been fighting for decades to be able to love who they wanna love.. And be who they want to be!

2. I think a part of why parents aren't always as acceptive, is because they don't know enough about the LGBT+ community. A lot has changed since they were young. Back then it wasn't nearly as accepted as it is today, and that is one of the things I have been thinking a lot about. You cannot accept something that you do not understand. I am not saying that it is our job to educate our parents and the elder generations in the LGBT+ community, and yet I am. We may be able to change their point of views. Being gay or bisexual or trans doesn't change you. You will always be the same person, except you will be happier and comfortable in yourself and who you are. At least that is what I think, even though I am still not sure how to break the news to my parents, but I refuse to be closeted for ever.

3. Also, a side note… I think it is important to accept yourself, before you can let others accept you. If you don't feel comfortable in yourself and your body, then how can you expect others to accept you? I am not writing this because of what you said, please don't misunderstand me, I am writing half based on my own experiences and the fact that I do A LOT of thinking. I had trouble accepting myself too, but seeing my gay awakening was quite some years ago, I have had time to accept myself and get comfortable in my own sexuality. Not to say that I haven't had boyfriends or tried it, but.. It just wasn't for me.

I can without a doubt say that my gay awakening was amanda seyfried in Mamma Mia. I watched that movie over and over, and even though ABBA is an amazing band then it wasn't exactly for the songs… Well it is still one of my favourite none disney movies for sure, but.. well Amanda was the main reason. It isn't exactly the most impressive story, but I still like it.

You said if you COULD pick for yourself.. can't you? I think that you wanting to become a surgeon is absolutely awesome! And I am sure you would be an amazing surgeon. Don't let anyone hold you back, Purple. And if it something you really want to do, then I say go for it! I know it isn't as easy as that, but well.. It is better to do something and learn, than do nothing at all and fail.

Also, I really am not used to writing this long of emails either, or rambling I should say, but I guess it just comes naturally when talking with you (:

I had an.. interesting day, to say the least. I hope yours was good as well.

- Flagstaff

AN: I know it is a short chapter. The email chapters will be short, but I hope you liked it anyway. NExt chapter will be longer, and Callie will be in it as well. What do you think will happen?

Not beta read - sorry!