Part Two: Something Very Major
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He scrambled gracelessly to his feet. 'Clark, I-'
'You love me?'
Lex stopped. Clark's voice betrayed no emotions, but at least he could speak.
Lex found he couldn't.
The eyes were still a void. 'You love me...and you *hate* it.'
Looking suddenly at the ground, Clark stepped back as if he was wounded.
He looked like he might be sick.
--I'm disgusting him.--
You see? You *see* what happens?!
After a moment's struggle, Lex found his voice. 'I'm sorry.'
--I'm sorry for loving you. I can't help it.--
Empty eyes caught Lex in their barren gaze again. 'Why did you come here? To reprimand yourself over it?'
'I came here because I know I had to think. Because I have to think; of a way to stop it.'
Lex knew he sounded desperate, but he was realising all at once how important this friend was to him, more than anything; and he frantically tried to convince the boy what he'd been trying to convince himself.
'I will stop it; I'll get over it. I will.'
--Just please don't stop being there. Look at me like that if you have to; just don't leave me.--
Clark flinched, stepped back again. After a pause his silent decision was made, and he bent slightly, grabbing his bag and bringing it up to clutch against his chest like a shield. 'I have to go.'
Too late, Lex.
--I've lost him.--
The blood ran chill in Lex's veins.
That was it then. No chance to get over it, as if he ever could, because there'd be nothing left at the end, now. The only thing Lex had left was a chance to explain.
'Clark; I never planned this. I've never felt like this before, and I-'
'Why didn't you tell me?'
The sudden emotion; the palpatable hurt in Clark's ragged voice shocked Lex; but his mouth answered anyway, as if of it's own volition.
'Because you'd look at me like you are now.'
Heavy eyelashes blinked rapidly, but Clark still didn't remove his undecipherable gaze. 'How did you expect me to look at you, Lex? You tell me something like that, and want me to...what, be *happy*?!'
--Oh god.--
'I wasn't sure how you'd react; but I guessed that I'd probably end up feeling like shit. And I do.' He gave a humourless laugh. 'It was never a good idea, but whatever happens your Dad will probably kill me, so relax.'
'Yeah, well,' Clark spat, viciously dusting soil off his bag. 'He's always reacted pretty badly to people that hurt me, what else did you expect?'
Lex was silent for a moment; but he was beginning to get angry.
--Might as well just go with it. Its not like I can push him any further away.--
'You know that's really not fair, Clark. I told you; I didn't *plan* to fall in love with you; it wasn't like some ploy to hurt you. And you know, this isn't exactly the way I envisaged myself ever telling you how I feel - not that I was ever sure if I *would* because I knew you'd hate me for it.'
'No more than you hate yourself for it.' Clark turned away, and began to march back through the corn stalks.
He's leaving me.
--I'm afraid again.--
Lex wanted to shut his eyes, but wouldn't, so instead he turned away.
'Of course I hate that I've hurt you, Clark. That's what happens when you're in love.'
The rustling stopped.
'What?'
Lex sighed, bracing himself. 'What now, Clark?'
At once there was a slight gust of air, and he became aware of someone standing next to him. 'You hate yourself because you've hurt me?'
Lex's chest hitched painfully, and he turned back to face the boy. 'Rub it in, why don't you? Once wasn't enough, you just have t-'
'Lex, shut up.' A hand pressed over his mouth, and Lex's eyes widened in surprise, staring at the face six inches from his own.
--His skin's so *warm*.--
Even as his heart was breaking Lex wanted to lick the fingers. However, the expression on Clark's face distracted him momentarily, for the teen was gazing at him with an intensity as he removed his hand, that told him Something Very Major was about to happen.
'Do...' Clark blinked, took a quick breath, and continued. 'Do you love me?'
--Oh. That's it?--
'I think we've about established that, Clark.'
'No - well, I mean; yeah, we have, obviously, that was the whole point of the conversation-'
Lex tried not to groan. Clark babble; it was adorable. --You're killing me here.--
'-but, er...do you mind about it?'
'What?'
Clark gave a frustrated sigh.
--Oh, *you're* frustrated? Try dreaming of you all wet and leaning over me every night for three weeks.--
'You've been apologising for the past half an hour for despising how you feel, and telling me how you're gonna get over it because you *hate* being in love with me, right?'
--What?!--
Lex spluttered. 'No! I've been apologising because I completely disgusted you by telling you how I feel, and I hate that I made you feel so horrible!'
The stare turned from intense, to completely dumbstruck.
'...*Oh*.'
Lex stopped breathing.
--Something Very Major just happened.--
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