Kate had a bowl of cereal for dinner. Had it come to this, she wondered, cereal in a lonely room, arguing with her husband's ex-wife, and now completely cut off from Rick, not by her choice but by his. She was starting to feel … she wasn't sure what she felt – unsure, insecure, defeated? No, none of those, she would not feel any of those. She was strong, confident Kate Beckett; she was righteously angry Kate Beckett. It was NOT her fault that she had to do this, it was NOT her fault that she had to leave her family in order to protect them. It was their fault for not understanding, for not accepting her word that it was for the best, that she would be back as soon as she … what - took Locsat down? Yes, took down the people who were, ultimately, responsible for the deaths of so many people close to her. Then she would make them understand that it was something she had to do and that the only way she could protect them was to leave them. Her thoughts were starting to go in circles. She would make Castle understand that it was for him, Alexis, and Martha – for their own good, for their protection, that she was doing this. And she would make him understand that cutting her off was unacceptable, that he had no right … . Her thoughts trailed off, somewhere in the back of her mind a tiny voice said, you left him with no good explanation, all promises and evasions, and you've been avoiding him ever since. You missed the anniversary party. If he'd done that to you, wouldn't you be angry? She shook her head. She couldn't let herself think like that, it destroyed her focus. It made her uncertain, weak. It undermined her. She'd think about it later, after the job was done. She had a glass of wine (Reisling went very well with cheerios) and went to bed.
Her phone rang at 6:30 the next morning, jarring her awake. She answered groggily.
"You left a message for me, Captain Beckett?" Gina sounded bright and cheerful.
"What? Oh, yes." She walked into the bathroom and dashed some water on her face.
"Well, what do you want?"
"You know what I want."
"You know that I can't give you what you want unless you give Castle what he wants."
"Are we going to go around and around about this? I want to speak to my husband. If he's going to cut off communication with me, I deserve to know why."
"You do know why, and don't even try to deny it, at least not to me. You can deny it to yourself all you want."
"This is going nowhere."
"You're right, it is. Now unless you actually have something new to add to the mix, I'm hanging up."
Something new, "Yes, something new. I can make your life very difficult if you don't cooperate with me."
There was a light chuckle at the end of the line. "Are you threatening me? I'm going to tell you something that you probably don't know; I'm not a member of the New York Bar, or any other State's Bar for that matter, but I do have a law degree and I do keep up on my reading, comes in handy when dealing with writers who don't know a Habeas Corpus from a Corpus Delecti, and if you, ever again, suggest that you would use your status as a police officer to intimidate or manipulate me into doing something, well, just remember, our conversations are being recorded and I do know how to contact your supervisor." She ended the call.
Kate was left reflecting. How had she come to this? Did she really just threaten to misuse police powers on Gina? It was so not like her. Come to think of it, the whole situation was not like her. She stared at the bathroom mirror for a second and closed her eyes. This kind of thinking wasn't helping. She needed to focus, not on her crumbling life, but on Locsat. She could deal with her family and emotions after she put that to bed.