Chapter 2

Six weeks after Black and White

It had taken four years, but Sunnydale High was finally rising from its ashes. The City Council used three of those years arguing about what they should do with the site, but now that they had decided they wanted the job done immediately. Since they were throwing plenty of money around, no one argued. So the school was almost ready, except for the windows and some detail work.

It was an almost exact match of the original, built from the same blueprints and everything. The only difference was in the basement, where several truckloads of cement had been used to prop up the foundation and plug the fissures that had formed in the basement walls, especially the ones that connected to the caverns that ran underneath the town.

Despite all the pains take to make it look the same, or possibly because of them, the new school seemed even more imposing and soul-crushing than the original. At least it did to the two women who were waiting at its gates.

"Why'd he want to meet here?" Buffy asked with a grimace as she pulled a piece of Chinese ginger candy out of the large bag she had stuffed in her purse and jammed it into her mouth. She hoped it would work as well on nerves as it did on morning sickness.

"I don't know." Anya sounded as worried as Buffy felt. "Do you think it has anything to do with the suitcases?"

They'd found the suitcases sitting in the front of their closet last week. They were empty - thank God - and Xander said he'd moved them to get the Playstation out for Faith. Faith backed him up, but something still felt wrong. Maybe it was the big smirk she had on her face when they asked her about it.

"Well, we can't stay here forever," Buffy said, but didn't move. Her eyes followed the bars of the gate to their pointed tips, which were a good five feet over her head. "I jumped over this, once."

"The good old days. I feel oddly nostalgic," Anya said, but from the way she danced from foot to foot it wasn't the good kind of nostalgia. Then she stuck out her hand. "I could use one of those candies, too."

Buffy pulled out another one and handed it to Anya, who shoved it in her mouth and started chewing loudly. Then she made a face. "Wait, I hate ginger."

"So do I," Buffy admitted as she finally swallowed the candy down. "But I hate throwing up more. The wonders of pregnancy."

Anya looked away and mumbled, "I think it is."

"What?" Buffy said and glanced over at her girlfriend.

"A wonder," Anya replied with an unusual longing in her voice. It was the same tone she used to use when she talked about being a demon, but even more so.

"Aw," Buffy sighed and wrapped her arm around Anya's. "That's so sweet."

"Unlike this candy," Anya said as she pulled a tissue out of her purse and spat the candy into it. "Horrid."

"You're so romantic." Buffy said with a grimace as she watched Anya toss the tissue into an industrial garbage can.

"I like to think so," Anya said without a hint of sarcasm. "Did Xander say where he'd meet us?"

Buffy shook her head. "No. I think we're supposed to find him. Ooo, I can't believe they rebuilt the bell tower." She pointed up. "I stopped Jonathan from killing himself up there. And over there," she pointed near the front entrance, "that's where we fought the mayor."

Anya stared down at the sidewalk. "Where I proved how fast I could run."

"We didn't blame you."

"You should have. You needed me and I behaved like a Frenchman."

"Like a Frenchman?" Buffy asked in confusion.

Anya glanced over and looked just as confused. "Isn't that right? Or is it a guy from Holland? I can't keep up with all the stereotypes."

"Always bet French," Buffy advised. "And don't feel too bad. I made sure mom was at a place far away for that little shindig."

"But you stayed. And so did Xander, even though he didn't have to."

Buffy cocked her head to the side. "What?"

"I offered to take him with me. Said we could drive in shifts. He never told you?" Buffy shook her head. "Well, I did. And he said no. I didn't understand why until we fought Glory."

"And what did that show?"

"That there are things worth dying for." Anya glanced over at Buffy, suddenly shy. "People. Family."

"And you two made me see that they're worth living for, too." Buffy looked thoughtful for a second. "Not bad for a carpenter."

"No," Anya said, and then she shot a guilty grin at Buffy. "And it's not like we're talking about this just to stall."

"Nope."

"Didn't think so." Anya puffed herself up, but didn't move.

"Let's get this over with." Buffy pushed the gate open and tried to walk forward, but Anya had a death grip on her arm and seemed to be anchored to the ground. "Chicken?"

Anya made a face. "No."

"Then let's go."

"Fine!" Anya took a half step backwards.

Buffy sighed and all but dragged Anya through the threshold of the school. They walked over the black dirt that would soon be covered with new sod and tried to fight down their worry and old memories.

Buffy was the first one to see Xander, and what she saw made her grind to a stop. It took another step for Anya to see him, and when she did she stopped dead. He was sitting with his back towards them and seemed to be staring at the building in front of him. He was still in the dark tan pants and sports jacket he'd worn to work today because he had to be at a meeting with the city. It did make him look good, which was important because it was the only suit he owned, but that wasn't what stopped them. It was where he was sitting, an old stone bench right off the outside walkway.

"He's leaving." Buffy and Anya said in unison. Then they looked at each other and said, "What?" also in unison.

"That's where I turned him down for the Spring Fling in sophomore year," Buffy explained. "I told him I didn't feel that way about him." She knew she had hurt him, but why did he have to shove those words back down her throat now? If she could, she'd go back and strangle herself, or smack some sense into herself, but it was too late. Then she looked over at Anya. "How do you know?"

Anya looked just as haunted. "That's where the three of you were sitting when I granted Cordelia's wish. Where I tried to get her to curse him."

Buffy knew enough about vengeance demons to know that meant hurt, or much more likely kill, him. "He wants to hurt us as much as we hurt him," Buffy realized and touched her stomach. How was she going to tell Jessica that she'd driven away her father?

Anya stiffened. "Hell with that. He's not getting away that easily." She grabbed Buffy's hand and this time she was the one who did the pulling. Buffy tried to pull back, at least to buy a few minutes, but Anya was driven.

Xander looked up when their shadows passed over him and grinned. "Hey, ladies."

"Don't, 'hey, ladies' me!" Anya shouted. "How dare you?"

Xander's eyes got wide. "What?" He looked over at Buffy for help.

Buffy hardened herself so he couldn't see the guilt she felt. "You heard her. You didn't think we'd figure it out?"

"How could you even think about leaving again?" Anya shouted and punched Xander in the arm.

Xander grimaced, then glared at Anya as he rubbed the spot she'd just hit. "First of all, ow. Second, Faith said she wasn't going to tell."

Now Buffy's feeling of guilt completely vanished. "I knew she had something to do with this."

"No, she doesn't," Xander said, then he seemed to wilt as he raised his hands in surrender, and to ward off any more punches. "Well, yes, she did. You see, last week, after Mr. Rosenberg visited, I almost…"

"Ran. Again," Anya said as she jumped ahead in his story. She somehow managed to keep her voice even.

Xander winced and didn't even try to deny it. "Yeah."

"Why?" Buffy asked as she tapped her foot.

Xander let out a breath and closed his eyes. "I don't remember what he said, exactly. Something like if I ever had a daughter I'd understand what it was like to lose one. But he didn't know he only lost her because I tried to kill her. It was to save Anya, and maybe the world, and I'd do it again if I had to. But then I started thinking what if the same thing happened to Jessica and I had to…" Xander lowered his face and covered his eyes with his hands.

All the fight left Buffy and Anya. They sat down on either side of him and wrapped their arms around him just so he would know they were there. "You wouldn't," Anya began.

"To save lives? To save the world?" Xander's voice was rough and he didn't look up. He also didn't give either girl a chance to think about it, he just kept going. "Anyway, I couldn't deal. And I figured I'd not deal by living up to form."

"We wouldn't let it come to that," Buffy said. She sounded as sure about that as if she had said that the sun would be up tomorrow.

Xander lifted his head off his hands and turned to look into her eyes. "That's pretty much the line Faith used to snap me out of it."

"You should have told us," Anya said without a hint of reproach.

Xander turned again and kissed her forehead. "I know, babe. At least I should by now. Still, old habits." Then he chuckled and wiped his eyes again. "Good thing the guys are gone for the day. I'd never live this down."

"What, having two beautiful women wrapped around you?" Buffy asked, her voice shaky, as she pressed her leg against his.

Xander reached down to rub her thigh through her jeans. "You're right. They wouldn't even know I was here. Anyway, last week actually got me thinking. That's why I wanted to talk to you two."

Buffy pulled away. "So you are leaving?"

Xander jumped a bit, then looked shock. "No, I'm done running. Why?"

Buffy looked down at the dirt. "Because of where we're sitting." When Xander didn't say anything, she looked into his face and only saw confusion. "Spring Fling. This is the bench where I turned you down."

"And where I almost cursed you," Anya added.

"It is?" Xander asked, befuddled. He looked around the courtyard and tried to think back. It had been a long time. Plus if he had to remember every time he'd been turned down his head would explode. Finally it all came back to him and he had to laugh. "Well, whadaya know."

"You mean…" Buffy began.

"…you didn't remember?" Anya finished.

"No. I just got tired of standing."

The two women let out the breaths they'd been holding. "Thank God," Anya said.

"Then what did you want to talk about?" Buffy asked.

Xander smiled a thousand-watt smile. "Like I said, I'm tired of running. I have everything I've ever dreamed of right here, so…" He stood, spun around and knelt in one smooth motion as he reached into the two pockets of his jacket. When his hands came out they were holding two blue velvet boxes. He flicked them open with practiced ease. Very practiced. Every spare moment in the last forty-eight hours practiced. Inside were two gold rings. "Will you marry me?"

Neither girl answered and Xander's confident smile wilted a little. "I know it's sudden. And it won't be legal - California's permissive, but not that much - but it'll be all right, at least for us. I talked to Giles' friend in the coven at Devon and she said she'd be honored to do a ceremony."

Buffy's eyes were locked on her ring. It was a simple gold band except for the top, where there was either a design of three circles linked together or a three-leaf clover; either way, the figure glistened with small diamonds. Then she answered by grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket, pulling him up, and kissing him so hard she almost bruised her lips.

When she finally let him go, his shirt was rumpled and his eyes were dazed. "Was that a yes?"

"Oh, yes," Buffy whispered, sounding winded.

He grinned again. "Good, because that would've been the best rejection I ever got." Then he looked over at Anya, who was staring at her ring but wearing a much more guarded expression. "Ahn? The world isn't even ending this time."

"No, not this week," Anya said. Her voice sounded a thousand miles away. She reached out and brushed her finger across the diamonds once before yanking it back as if the ring was on fire. "But we've done this before, and you know what happened."

"I know," Xander said. He carefully set the rings down on the bench so he could wrap his hands around Anya's. "I was an idiot. Hell, I was everything in the thesaurus that's related to idiot. I panicked and almost screwed everything up and I can never say how sorry I am for it. But I meant what I said before, I'm done running. I love both of you, and I'll be lost if you're not here with me."

Anya reached down and touched her ring again, but still didn't answer. Then Buffy reached over and put her hand on Anya's shoulder. "Come on. Just think about how much work you've put into him already. Be a shame to let it all go to waste."

Anya giggled once before she caught herself. "This is the last time, right? No more almost weddings?"

"Not unless you count renewing the vows," Xander promised.

"Then yes," Anya said.

Xander leaned up and kissed her just as hard as Buffy had kissed him. Then he picked up Anya's ring and slid it over her finger.

Anya held it up and watched the fading sunlight glimmer between the diamonds. "It's pretty."

"Easily the second prettiest thing here," Xander said.

Buffy raised her eyebrow in a fake scold. "Second."

"Yeah. You both tie, and so do the rings. So it's easy," Xander said as he pulled Buffy's ring out of the box and held out his hand. "My lady." Buffy put her hand over his and grinned as he slid the ring onto her finger.

Buffy lifted her hand up and admired her new ring. "You're right. It is pretty."

"Second prettiest thing here." Xander repeated and stood up. "There is one other thing."

"What?" Anya asked.

"I think we should get a new place to live."

"But I like the apartment," Anya said. "It's cozy."

"It's crowded," Xander countered. "And, as recent events have proven, thin-walled. I think we need a real house." He turned and waited for Buffy's reaction.

He didn't have to wait long. This time the Incident (as it was called) was forgotten, obliterated by the much greater dread Buffy had of her old home. The house was her biggest nightmare, its walls covered in blood and the bodies of everyone she loved scattered around it. Her mom had died in it, Amy had died there and destroyed Willow, and the worst of all was the memory of Xander and Anya being shot in the backyard. She didn't even hear the whimper when it started in the back of her throat.

"I won't go back there. I can't."

Xander grabbed her shoulders to try and calm her. "No, we get a new one. One that's all ours and sparkling new."

Buffy took a deep breath and fought down the surge of emotion, but she still felt hideously vulnerable. "A new house?"

"Yeah, it's a funny thing. People build brand new houses and then sell them. I hear it's all the rage in Europe," Xander said with what he hoped was a calming smile.

"It would be nice to have something bigger. Especially…" Anya said and glanced down at Buffy's stomach. Then she brightened even more. "And maybe a garden. I think I remember gardening. Or maybe it was farming?" She thought hard for a moment, and then shook the idea away. "No, that never seemed like fun. But definitely gardening."

"And maybe a workshop for me out back," Xander added and got a far-away look in his eyes. "I've been thinking off all the things the baby needs. A crib, toys… And Sears has a sale on tools."

"A home," Buffy murmured. "It would be nice to have some room to stretch out again." She looked down at her ring again and couldn't help but smile. "Engaged and a new home in one day. You don't do anything in half measures, Mr. Harris."

"I think we've proved that already," Xander said, extra cocky as he wrapped his arms around Buffy and Anya. "So what do you think?"

"I'm okay with it, but we'll have to see what Dawn thinks," Buffy warned.

"She'll be thrilled to have a bed again. Poor thing," Anya said with real sympathy. "But first things first. I want to show everyone my new ring." She stopped and looked at Xander worriedly. "Unless we're hiding it again."

Xander shook his head. "Nope. No more hiding either. Flash to your heart's content. Of course, don't come crying to me when Spike comes after you for giving Tara ideas."

"Why? He hasn't complained about any of the ideas I've given Tara so far."

"What kind of ideas?" Buffy asked.

"Don't worry. It's nothing we haven't already done." She met both of their stares without even pretending to be embarrassed. "And approved of."

"And to think I was scared before you two showed up," Xander said and mimed a shudder as he stood up. He looked at the school and shuddered for real. "Let's go home. This place still gives me the creeps, no matter how much money they give me to put it back up."

"Besides, we have a wedding to plan," Buffy said.

"That was the best part," Anya agreed. "All the catalogues."

Xander sighed. "I knew I'd forgotten something."