This chapter has some more journal entries with the last entry being in 2013 when B/R are engaged that entry takes place after "P.S. I Love You" that night when they return to their apartment The Fortress. Also, there is a new journal in this chapter. I wasn't going to add the new journal yet but since there is a flashforward/future parts to the story I thought now's a good time to use the future journal entries too.

Journal entry 2

Chapter 2

Meeting The Gang

I met four new friends today, after running into my new friend Lily we talked for a little while before her fiance came to the bar. His name I Marshall, he had just proposed on the night I met Ted. They seem like a lovely couple and Lily is a really sweet girl, we talked and got to know each other a little better before Marshall came and then Ted and then Barney the blonde in the suits.

Lily's a cool girl, seems down-to-earth and really friendly since I don't have any to no female friends in the city it was nice talking to her. Marshall's a really nice guy, seems like a real committed guy to Lily something I never will begin to have in my life. Again, Ted's a sweet, nice guy but he's looking at the wrong girl for him. And, Barney... Barney's seems cool, someone I would like to get to know better and it was fun teasing him today. The look on his face was priceless. It's weird, just sitting and talking with these four people I just met doesn't seem like something I would do but they are all such wonderful people I hope I get to see them again.

Welcome To New York Scherbatsky

My first week in the Big Apple hasn't been what I expected it to be. My work load is a bit much, anything with work is quite weird, the station I work at isn't the most popular, the most clean or the most well managed but at least it brought me to New York some place I've always wanted to go to while growing up. I hoped if my Robin Sparkles career had taken off and I didn't quit, I was hoping to do a US tour. But, that never happened and now I'm here, alone in my bed, in my New York City apartment at night writing in you about the week I had.

Meeting my new friends was the only good thing that happened since moving here. Those four people made the end of my week more interesting, they made me feel like moving here was a good idea. I loved getting to know these four people, I hope we get to see each other again sometime.

I've never been the type of girl who immediately befriends people I don't know but this group of people made me change that part of me I try so hard to hide. But, I'm hoping my life gets better once I become more settled here.

Something I want to do

I am hoping to explore the city more now that I'm here. Maybe this weekend, maybe I can call Lily and we can hang out? I really do like her even though she seemed a bit desperate for a female friend. I wonder why she doesn't have any other female friends, she is a really cool chick I really like her. Having female friends is exhausting and for someone who was raised a boy who didn't get to be around many girls while growing up I guess I identify with her. Lily's the kind of girl who I think I will get along with so maybe I will give her a call tomorrow.

Getting to know Barney

It's weird, just sitting next to him he gives off this strong vibrant vibe I don't know what it is but the moment we first talked to each other I can feel this weird sensation with my heart. When I teased him about not having a date and he ripped on my home Country of Canada I couldn't help but feel something, something that I had never felt before in my life with a guy before. I don't know what it was but the moment I saw him across the bar last Friday I felt the same feeling I did today just more intense which is weird for someone you just met. But, we seemed to like each other, at least for me I liked him. I mean I did tease him in a way of flirting, in my own way and I think he responded in a good way to me trying to flirt with him. I guess I'll never know cause I will never tell him.

2013!

"When I was looking in your diaries earlier I noticed something." Oh, god here it comes he found something alarming or embarrassing or something that's not meant for anyone's eyes especially Barney's. I hold my breath waiting for him to start talking again, not knowing what he means I look away from him already embarrassed.

"I found an entry from 2005, when we first met." Oh, okay now it's not so embarrassing since I know what he's talking about? I look over at him and he's giving me this loving look and I look at him waiting for what he wants to say. "It said, 'you thought I was cute in my suit and that you had this feeling that you never felt before. You wanna tell me what that means?" It was years earlier, who knew we would become such close friends let alone get engaged to each other but this moment made me blush and I looked away again shaking my head and laughing. "It was nothing, I just liked you when I first met you and I knew back then that there was something between us." I look back over at him who still has this smiling smirk on his face. My face is still flushed red but he starts to get serious, he takes my hand in his giving me a small smile then he kisses my hand gently the way I've always liked, then he asks me...

"What did you feel back then? Did you think I was the one for you? Did you want to just have sex with me? Or did you just like me enough to start flirting?" Now, I'm embarrassed.

I turn away from him, not looking his way again and put my face in my hands laughing and blushing.

"Kind of all of the above." Now I'm looking at him, face still flushed it's so embarrassing to bring this up now but I guess it's the best time to do it since we're engaged and we are honest with each other.

"I liked you Barney. I liked you a lot even back then so when I came home that night after we hung out at MacLaren's and wrote that entry. I didn't say anything about what I was feeling then cause it was just a small crush..." and now I'm blushing again, and he notices me blushing at the word crush.

"You had a crush on me... Robin Scherbatsky had a crush on Barney Stinson? Wow, I can't believe you felt that way back then. I mean we just met, yeah I thought you were sexy and I could've hit that very quickly." He's right about that one, I could've slept with him back then and at some different times I wanted to but I didn't. I guess it's for the best now that we actually had something else entirely with the connection I felt then. "But, why didn't you tell me, I mean we did date before and we've known each other for years and now we're engaged?" I don't want to say but I do anyway for his sake.

"I was embarrassed, I wasn't sure what my feelings were back then and I was far from knowing what my feelings were and I barely knew you then. So, I didn't tell you because it would've been awkward because of the fact we just met." There, I said it. It's all out there, I, Robin Scherbatsky admitted that I've always liked Barney Stinson and even wanted to sleep with him on different occasions one of them being the time they bro'd out together and he tried making a move. I wanted to then but I couldn't bring myself to actually sleep with him because I liked him and I didn't want to ruin our new friendship.

"Robin Scherbatsky, you are the most wonderful woman I've ever met and back then I would've totally slept with you, I wanted to but when you turned me down that time we laser tagged together I stopped pursuing anything that I was feeling towards you. But, if I knew then that you felt something for me I would've done something about it." I know he would have, it was obvious when he came onto me that time and I've always wondered if something did happen then with them, what could have happened if we actually had feelings back then for each other.

Journey: My engagement and future journal

Would we be together much sooner than we actually were and are now? Would we have had a friendship or a romance? Would it lead to something more like falling in love and getting married like we are now? These are all such interesting things to think about now that I've told Barney... well, now that he found out that I had some feelings that were unknown back when we first met.

"I'm so glad we told each other these things cause now we don't have any secrets to tell each other cause we already know everything there is to know about each other." We are lying in bed with me in his arms, my hand placed gently on his stomach and my head resting on his chest with him slowly stringing my hair in between his fingers which I've always enjoyed because it's a soothing feeling that sometimes puts me to sleep. I am so glad we talked about this it's so weird how far we both came since I wrote the I had a crush on Barney when we first met and now we're engaged and about to spend the rest of our lives together.

It feels good. It feels right. It feels wonderful. Who knew I would fall in love with this man who's lying soundly asleep next to me? I know I didn't but I realize this until right now but I really do love this man and back when we first met I think I felt some kind of unknown feelings of love.