Chapter two

Thank you so much for the kind and wonderful reviews.

I'm sorry for the format of chapter one, I've tried to change it but it won't work.

This story is testing my patience, it follows a slower pace than I normally use and doesn't always come easy but I'm staying with it.

Scarlett stared at the words 'meet him in their home?' Was she ready for
this? Ready to face Atlanta again? She knew she wouldn't be welcomed, she
had burnt every bridge in that city, and now that Melanie was gone, she
didn't have a single friend left in that cold place. Rhett would be welcomed
back, all the ladies would be on their toes to help this man, the man they
once held only spite for, his loss was considered heavier than hers. As
though she had no part in their daughter.

Why had he picked that day of them all? Had he known all the years or was it
just another twist of fate?

See Rhett again, it was all she had longed for the first few months, but
now, she was frightened, so frightened of seeing him again. Not that her
feelings for this enigmatical man had died, but could she survive his being
indifferent to her or the blow when he left her again? Or would the madness
of learning how to breath return?

She wasn't ready to make her decision yet, the emotions running through her
mind were too confusing to be put in order. Her lungs were fighting against
the air it desperately needed, her chest ached painfully and her breath came
in fast gasps that never reached her lungs. She needed fresh air to calm
her, needed to feel the earth of Tara underneath her feet. She quickly left
her room and crept silently through the house until she was on the veranda,
she then picked up speed, hoping to get away without being noticed. It
should be easy, the children were studying and Suellen napping.

Tara.

Tara was the only constancy in her life, it had never left her as so many
had in her young life. Scarlett had lost both her parents and two husbands
before she had turned 24. Now she was close to her 29th birthday, and, now,
to the list of losses she could add an unborn baby, her favourite daughter,
her best friend and a third husband. Rhett hadn't died, but left her on his
own free will. It was that which hurt the most.

The mild breeze caressed her cheek and made the cotton fields of Tara look
like the tempting image of a white sea.

Pride was in Scarlett's heart and mind. No, she hadn't lost everything, she
had Tara and two living children from two deceased husbands.

Still, Tara was more like a farm than the proud plantation she once had
been, but Tara had improved since the war. Will was doing a good job, he
worked hard and cared almost as much about Tara as she did. To Scarlett, it
was more than caring, Tara was a part of her, it was something that couldn't
be easily explained or understood, she needed the red earth of Tara. It gave
her strength and reminded her of her roots, it spoke to the Irish in her. It
had always been the inheritance from her pa, the one thing that had given
her strength to survive all the hard blows that had been thrown at her. If
she was away from Tara for too long, she would stumble and loose her way.

And she had lost her way too many times to count; fate had played its evil
game at her expense and taken away all the people who had once cared about her. Yet, Scarlett was standing; she had faced the storms of her life head on and hadn't broken down. But only Scarlett knew that she was just barely standing.

Each day was a new trial to face, her heart had not recovered from her
recent losses, the pain was still able to break her, if she was not on guard
each minute of the day. She was standing, but with a shallow frame.

They had been at Tara for ten months now; they had come when Rhett had
left her. The former shine of pride in her eyes had left and was replaced by
deep sorrow. The sorrow never left her gaze now. It had taken harbour in the
depth of her pale green eyes, turning them into a darker, wounded shade of
green. Gone was the sparkling, spirited air around Scarlett, it had been
replaced with the fear she had first felt after Bonnie's death, when the raw
sorrow had left her and she had needed Rhett, had wanted to reach out to
him, only to discover that he had been unreachable. It was a fear she didn't
understand or knew how to fight, all her life she had fought battles against
visible things, like hunger and need of money, but this went deeper and was
darker. She had money, she didn't starve, but she felt more lost than at
anytime in her life.

She wondered if she would ever feel safe again, her world had changed so
many times and left her uncertain, if she could survive another blow.

Slowly her breathing calmed with each step she took, the red earth of Tara
underneath her feet gave her strength to face Rhett's proposal. She would
go! Running from her fears wouldn't help her; she would willingly enter the
storm one more time.

The next time Will had business in Jonesboro Scarlett asked to come with
him. Her excuse for going was important business affairs, saying she had
neglected her responsibilities of the store for far too long. Will asked no
questions and had no objections to her coming along.

Scarlett bought a train ticket for April 8th, wired Rhett in New Orleans and
wired the house to be ready. Fortunately Pork and Cookie had preferred to
stay in the house, Pork to be near his wife, Dilcey, and Cookie to be close
to her children.

The days went by in a puzzling pace, some times it seemed the hours and days
sped past her and other times they dragged by, as if time had frozen.
Suellen wasn't happy that Scarlett would leave her children at Tara; she
believed Scarlett ran off to fill her life with exciting luxuries. Scarlett
explained, again and again, it was a matter of business that required her
presence in Atlanta. But every word fell on deaf ears. Excitements! If only
that was the truth and not that she was about to enter the lions carve.

Wade was disappointed; he wanted to come with her, he missed Beau and the city. Scarlett promised him to take him with her next time, and perhaps she could bring Beau with her back, if Ashley would agree. Ella was indifferent, she liked it at Tara, and her uncle Rhett wouldn't be there anyway. She would miss her mother but knew she would come back.

Scarlett decided against taking Prissy with her, the girl would inform the
darkies at Tara about Rhett, and soon it would catch the ears of Suellen and
she couldn't let that happen. No, she would ask Cookie to find a girl to
help her; Cookie's family was big enough to have an available girl to help
her for a week.

Suddenly it was April 8th, it was a sunny Friday with its promise of a
lovely spring day, and it was not too warm or too cold. The day was
perfect. Luckily, Scarlett had to leave quite early in the morning to catch
her train, which made it impossible for Suellen to fuss over Scarlett, on this day that would be special to most people except Scarlett, if she had wanted to, which Scarlett really wasn't sure of.

Will took her the station; he would use the opportunity to check on the
cotton prices this year.

Alone in the train compartment, time rushed by- leaving Scarlett in a cold
sweat and short for breath, and it was not because her corset had been laced
too tightly, for she was not even wearing one, embarrassing as it was. She
had wanted to be able to undress by herself for the night if Cookie's
relative couldn't start today. The cold sweat and difficulty breathing were
from her fear and insecurities, and they made her long to run as fast as she
could in the opposite direction.

The train arrived in Atlanta slightly after 11. Stepping down from the train
Scarlett focused on her breathing, it wouldn't do to faint or appear weak,
not if she wanted to keep her head up in this city that thought so little of
her. Even without a scene she would be talked about for the next months to
come, she saw no reason to feed the old guard with new gossip about her.

It was a thin Scarlett with a still, dull face; very similar to the one
Rhett had put on the train to Jonesboro after the miscarriage, who stepped
off the train. Her cheeks had a faintly pink shade from her walks around
Tara, but she held the same air of a lost child she had that many months
ago. She looked around to see if Pork had come to fetch her, she wouldn't
have the energy to find a carriage, if he hadn't.

Her eyes fell on a familiar face, she felt a pang in her heart and her
muscles stiffened. So soon! Oh, she wasn't ready. Ready or not it was the
dark, swarthy face of Rhett her eyes had caught sight of.

Scarlett paused to look at her husband and was saddened, it was the Rhett
who had left her, well, he was better groomed but whiskey was still showing
on his face. His swarthy face was still dangerously bloated and puffs were
rising under his bloodshot eyes. His body looked soft and his waistline was
thick.

He wasn't doing any better than she was.

"Hello Rhett!"

She resumed her pace again until she was standing in front of him, he gave
her a quick peek on her cheek, it was so light that his lips merely touched
her skin.

"Hello Scarlett. I thought I would be the caring husband and fetch you
myself"

In the past his words would have been cruel but without the jest or mocking,
they lost any power they might have intended. His eyes were nothing if not
dull, he was a beaten man. They were sailing in the same boat and it was
sinking, she just hoped she could find the holes taking in water before it
was too late.

"Thank you Rhett" She offered and accepted his outstretched arm.

"No need to thank me, I had nothing better to do and the house felt vacant."

They walked to the carriage in silence. Before Rhett could help Scarlett
into the carriage, her eyes met those of a bewildered Mrs. Merriwether,
shock was apparent in her face but she approached the carriage anyway.
Scarlett sighed deeply; she had only been in Atlanta for five minutes and
already had to face judgement.

"Captain Butler, Scarlett," Mrs. Merriwether turned to Rhett "I'm so pleased
to see you again, my thoughts have been with you for some time now."

She had the tone of a mother hen that failed to keep the curiosity out of
her voice.

"Thank you Mrs. Merriwether." Rhett directed his eyes at the carriage.

"I hope you will stay for a while. Grandpa Merriwether and Mr. Hamilton
would be so pleased," beneath her pleasantries lay the blatant desire for
new gossip.

"I'm not sure for how long we will stay Mrs. Merriwether; if you will excuse
us Scarlett is tired from travelling."

Scarlett looked at him, he wouldn't be considered polite but gone was the
rudeness with which he had met everyone following their loss. Mrs.
Merriwether bade the Butler's farewell, a smile on her face. Rhett was still
a hero in the eyes of Atlanta.

He helped her into the carriage and sat on the seat across from her, again
silence fell upon them.

Then they were home. Rhett helped her down as Pork opened the door.

"Miss Scarlett!" Pork came down the stairs to get her luggage, "Welcome
back, how are they at Tara?"

"Just fine, just fine Pork. It's good to see you."

And it was, Pork had been with her through good and bad times, he hadn't
always liked her but he had faithfully stayed.

"How is Dilcey?"

"Just fine Miss Scarlett and so's the boy. A fine boy"

"I'm sure he is Pork."

Scarlett took a deep breath and entered her home, half expecting to be met
by a sweet giggling, that would signal it had all been a bad dream, instead,
it was deep silence that welcomed her.

The house was depressing, she had been so proud of it when she first moved
in, it had been her dream of a house, now, looking around she noticed the
gloominess of it. The thick red carpeting, the red velvet portieres, the
black-walnut furniture, the many gilt framed mirrors and long pier-glasses
left her in a state from which she didn't know whether to laugh or cry from.
At Tara she had gotten used to air and sunlight, here the sunlight was kept
out by the windows over draped with plum-coloured plush hangings.

Scarlett turned her attention to Cookie, who came to welcome her master and
mistress. After a polite exchange of pleasantries, cookie had promised to
send for her cousin's daughter. Scarlett climbed the stairs to her room, the
strain of the past months evident on her face.

It felt strange to be in her room, she seemed more used to her shabby and
sparcely decorated room at Tara. It was in this room she had born her
precious daughter. She pulled back the curtains and opened a window; she
needed fresh air to fill her lungs.

She freshened up, changed her dress and went down to take her dinner with
Rhett.