Forty, Love : Chapter Two

A Death Note Fanfic

Disclaimers: Uh…same as the last chapter, I guess…

--

L couldn't suppress a small choking noise as Mello flung his arms around the detective's neck in sheer glee.

"I didn't know you were coming back so soon!" Mello exclaimed as he hugged his idol. "You said you weren't coming back until Christmas!"

"Well, obviously I lied," L replied with a small smile, hugging the young prodigy back. Mello grinned into L's shoulder – he knew L was back before Near did. Even something like that was a victory, as far as he was concerned.

"How long are you back for?" Mello asked, finally and slightly reluctantly relinquishing his hold on the older man. He waited breathlessly as L raised his thumb to his lips in thought, his other hand sliding into his pocket. God, why did he have to be so sexy when he did that?!

"I'm not really sure," he finally admitted, smiling a little bit. "I suppose as long as I need to be here, I will. Don't worry, though – it'll be a few weeks, at least."

Mello shot him a suspicious look. "You aren't lying, are you?" he asked slowly, narrowing one eye at him as though inspecting him closely.

L couldn't help laughing – the look on Mello's face was priceless. "No, I'm not lying. Even if I do hear of a case that interests me, I'll start working on it here, up on the fourth floor," he said with a lazy smile, the finger that was usually at his lips pointing up to the ceiling.

"Well… okay," Mello said grudgingly, his face relaxing. L smiled in that same apathetic manner of his, ruffling Mello's hair gently. Mello made a face at him, but didn't say anything.

"Don't worry, Mello," L said reassuringly. "Even when I do leave, I promise I'll come back."

Mello smiled, batting L's hand out of his hair. "I'm gonna hold you to that."

"I know."

--

Near didn't look up as the door of West Corner opened. He didn't look up as he heard footsteps approaching. He did, however, look up as a familiar shadow cast itself over his Lego Knights playset.

"L!" he exclaimed, scrambling to his feet as fast as humanly possible and wrapping his arms around L's waist. The detective smiled and placed one hand on Near's head, wrapping his other arm around the boy's shoulders.

"Hello, Near," he said with a smile as Near pulled away to look at him. L frowned a little as he saw a mostly-faded bruise gracing the albino's jaw line. He reached out and gently touched it, watching Near wince a little bit.

"What happened?" he asked quietly, removing his hand from the bruise.

"I just got hit, that's all," Near muttered, resting his head against L's chest.

"Mello?"

"No, Mello just yells at me, he never hits me."

L sighed a little bit, placing his hand on the back of Near's head again. It was usually inevitable – whenever he came to visit, Near usually had a bruise or two, and he would never say how he got it or who he got it from beyond claiming it wasn't Mello. L wasn't entirely sure he could trust that claim, though – he knew that several clashes of Near's smart mouth and Mello's short temper had nearly ended in one-sided fisticuffs.

"Well… if you say so, fine. But if you ever want to talk, you know where to find me."

"Fourth floor." He felt Near smile a little into his shirt.

"Right, you got it. Just, tonight I have some things I have to do… I want to talk to you, however. I'll call you when I need you."

"Okay."

--

"He's here!!"

"Goody," Matt muttered, barely audible even to himself. Whatever. If L's presence sent Mello into a state of euphoria, so be it. Didn't really matter much to him.

Mello was rummaging through his closet at nearly light-speed, obviously looking for the perfect thing to wear when he went to go see L later. Matt was on his bed, leaning against the window, playing his DS again.

"God, what are you doing?"

"Trying to get my Dragoon up to job level forty, completely ignoring your anal-retentive Dress for L ritual."

Matt ducked as a pillow sailed across the room, smacking the wall where his head had been seconds before. Nothing more fun than flustering Mello right before his big meeting with L.

The blonde had finally found what Matt assumed was the perfect outfit and was in the process of flinging the clothes he had been wearing previously off. Matt didn't watch – Mello was so meticulous in his appearance it made him fidgety. It wasn't like being the best dressed at Wammy's was going to effect L's decision at all; he knew the only reason for Mello's fussiness was his enormous crush on the detective.

Stupid.

Matt couldn't concentrate anymore – he left the dungeon, saved, and flung his DS onto his pillow to watch.

"And you get pissed when Near calls you a girl," he said teasingly. Mello glared at him via the mirror, in the process of running a brush through his hair.

"Shove it," Mello snarled. Matt just laughed and closed his eyes – he was probably the only one who could get away with calling Mello a girl. He knew it wasn't true, except obviously when it came to L… but the blonde was so much fun to piss off. He understood why Near found the activity so enjoyable.

"So do you know when you're going up to The Promised Land yet?" Matt continued to tease, placing his hands behind his head.

"No, and I told you to shove it!" Mello growled, flinging another pillow at Matt. The redhead laughed, catching it.

"If you keep that up, I'm going to have all your pillows, Mello."

A knock on the door silenced both of them. "Come in?" Matt asked unsurely. No one knocked at Wammy's… well, no one except…

Watari opened the door, walking in very dignified. "I bear messages from L," he said calmly. Mello hurried over, and Matt moved to the edge of the bed. Messages? Plural? Was that implying that he had more than one?

Watari did, in fact, have two envelopes in his hand – one with Mello's name on the front, and one with Matt's. Both had the signature 'L' on the back. Watari handed Mello the one addressed to him before walking over to Matt's bed, handing the second envelope to the redhead.

"Good day," Watari said, bowing himself out.

"You got one?" Mello asked, clearly astonished. He and Near were L's candidates; Matt probably hadn't said two consecutive words to the man in his entire life.

"I… guess so. I don't get it either," he shrugged. He slid his finger under the flap as Mello seated himself on the edge of his own bed, tapping the letter down to one end and ripping off the other, sliding the letter onto his palm.

Matt pulled the letter, which smelled vaguely of sugar, out of the envelope, unfolded it, and began to read.

Matt:

I apologize if this seems strange, but I wish to talk to you as well. Please do not tell Mello the contents of this letter, as I am requesting to meet with you before I meet with either him or Near, and I know he would be… displeased if he were to discover this. Please come up to my study on the fourth floor, second door from the right on the landing, at seven o'clock. I know that is your dinner hour, but do not worry – I will have Watari bring something up, and you will eat with me. Thank you for your indulgence.

-L

Matt stared at the short note, blinking a few times in confusion. L wanted Matt… to eat with him? As far as he knew, L never shared his meals with anyone – he had actually heard Mello complain about it a couple of times. He was fairly positive Watari was the only person on the face of the planet that ever saw L eat something other than sweets.

He saw Mello grinning out of the corner of his eye and looked up at him.

"What?" Matt asked, folding the letter up and slipping it into the envelope.

"He wants to meet with me at eight thirty. Score! That's right after dinner! That means he wants to see me first!"

Eight thirty – so L probably wanted to meet with him for about an hour, and then have him leave before Mello got there. Weird.

"Well, good for you," Matt said, putting his hands behind his head and laying down. "You beat Near to the punch again."

"Damn straight," Mello smirked before looking at him. "What'd yours say?" he asked, curious.

"Ah, nothing of importance," he said with a shrug. "It's not like he wants to meet with ME after dinner or anything."

"…L sent you a letter with nothing of importance?" Mello asked in suspicion, arching an eyebrow. Matt nodded. "Well… I didn't think he would want to meet with you… I mean, no offense, but it's not like he has any real attachment to you or anything."

"I know." God, Mello, you don't have to be such a bastard about it.

"Well, come on, it's time for dinner," Mello said; the clock on the wall did, in fact, say six fifty-five.

"I'm not really hungry," Matt said, causing Mello to freeze in mid-rise.

"Huh?" the blonde asked, straightening up. "What do you mean, you aren't hungry?"

"I'm just not. I ate lunch late today, and I just wanna play my video game for a while," Matt responded, reaching for his DS and flicking it on.

"Well… all right," Mello said, a little suspiciously, but turned at left the room.

Matt waited for the door to shut, then flicked the power back off and stood. He walked to the door and cracked it open, peering out and waiting for Mello's head to disappear down the stairs. He then snuck out quietly, hurrying down the hallway as quickly as dignity allowed.

--

L stared thoughtfully at the screen, his thumb tracing his bottom lip as was usual. He wasn't actually taking in any of the information on his computer – he was thinking too much for that.

He wished the boy would have taken his offer… but he had said he didn't want it, and probably didn't want it even now. As it stood, he only had two candidates, but he had wanted three. He had wanted that third very, very badly.

A gentle knock on the door snapped him out of his thoughts. He looked over his shoulder as Watari entered from the connecting room, striding over to the door and opening it.

"Ah," he said before turning his body sideways to allow the boy to enter. "You have a visitor, sir."

"Thank you, Watari. You may go," he said with a gentle smile. He watched the man leave before standing and turning towards the door, his hands sliding into his pockets.

"Matt," L said with a little nod. The clock on the wall was straight-up seven – he was quite the punctual child, wasn't he?

"Hello, sir," Matt said, the address sounding forced and stilted in his mouth. L knew for a fact Matt never addressed anyone like this, not even his teachers or Roger.

L waved a dismissive hand. "Relax, Matt-kun, you're in no trouble."

Matt looked a little surprised, but took the seat he was gestured into. Watari entered shortly after, carrying a large silver tray. He set the tray on the table, placing a plate in front of L, then in front of Matt. "Would you both care for tea?"

Matt saw that L was looking at him expectantly; he flushed a bit and nodded a little at Watari. L smiled and looked up at his semi-butler. "That would be excellent, Watari. If you have any of the chai…"

Watari cut him off with a nod and a bow, exiting the room again. Matt looked down at his plate, unsurprised to see that the fare was much better than the shit they were regularly served in the cafeteria. He and Mello had used the tortillas as virtually indestructible Frisbees before.

L began eating as soon as Watari had poured the tea. Matt followed his lead, trying to keep his hands from shaking as he cut his food. He was nervous – there was no question why; he and L hadn't been alone together since Matt was ten.

-

"Matt-kun! MATT-KUN!!"

Matt looked up from his game as Mello pelted into the room, his face flushed with excitement. "Omigod Matt-kun you so aren't going to believe what just happened to me!!"

Matt quirked an eyebrow. "Um…you just got a lifetime supply of hair spray."

"…what? No!" Mello said after a pause, leaning over and smacking Matt on the back of the head. He then sighed and clasped his hands together, once again forcefully reminding Matt of a girl. Mello was so manly, even for ten, until L was mentioned. Then, any pretense of testosterone went out the window.

"L asked me! He asked me!!" he exclaimed, jumping up on his bed. Matt laughed a little at his friend's joy; he had heard that L was going to choose successors, and he knew Mello would probably have slit his wrists if he hadn't been chosen.

"Near-kun and I are going to both work directly under him," Mello said once he had landed on his knees, then launched himself into a fit of giddy, near-maniacal laughter. He ended up on his side, his face buried in his pillows. Matt could occasionally hear the muffled words, "I did it, I did it," mixed in with the laughter.

"Good for you," Matt said with a grin. He honestly was glad that Mello had been chosen – after all, it was all Mello had thought about since he was about six, when he had first met L.

Mello finally calmed down, rolling over onto his back and grasping his sides as he gasped for air, that smile still plastered on his face.

"…we're still going to be best friends, aren't we, Mello?"

"Of course!"

Matt smiled. Mello sat up suddenly, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"But, of course, that means Near and I can't be friends anymore," Mello said matter-of-factly, nodding and crossing his arms over his chest. Matt shot him a confused look, his smile disappearing. Mello, Matt, and Near had always been close – Matt had frequently asked both of their help on his homework in the past.

"What? Why not? You like Near," Matt said, confused. "You said that if it wasn't for me, Near would be your best friend."

"Well, yeah, but not anymore," Mello said, giving Matt a 'what-are-you-stupid?' look. "I mean, for crying out loud, we're rivals now. We can't be friends and both be vying to be L's successor at the same time – that's just impossible."

Matt blinked before sighing. He was afraid of this. And now he knew he was going to have to choose sides. Mello would tell him it was all right, he could hang out with Near if he wanted too; but doing so would earn him the cold shoulder for God knows how long. He knew how Mello worked.

"Okay," Matt said, not wanting to stir up unnecessary conflict. He still wanted to be Near's friend… but… Mello…

"Okay what?" Mello asked, blinking.

Matt had already returned to his video game.

"We won't hang out with Near anymore."

"Right," Mello said with a nod.

They were both interrupted by a brisk knock on the door. "C'min," Mello said, his grin back on his face. Roger came in, leaving the door open.

"Congratulations, Mello. I heard about everything from Watari," he said, smiling at the blonde. Mello beamed back.

"Matt, I need you to come with me."

"I didn't do it," Matt said, raising his hands automatically. Roger shook his head.

"You aren't in trouble. I just need you to come with me."

"…okay…" Matt said uncertainly, standing and making to follow the older man. He glanced over his shoulder at Mello, who drew a line over his throat with his index finger, grinning evilly. Matt stuck his tongue out at him, but made no other response as he shut the door behind him.

Roger led him to the stairs, but instead of going down to his office, he took him up in the direction of the third floor. Matt was confused – why was he going up to the little kid's floor? – and grew even more so as they went up past the third floor towards the fourth. The fourth floor, which only ever held one occupant.

L's floor.

Roger stopped in front of the second door from the right, knocking in his usual brisk manner. Watari opened the door, standing aside for them to enter. Roger, however, took his place.

"L wants to speak with you, Matt," he said instead, looking at the redhead.

It took a moment for this to register with Matt. As soon as it did, he hurried inside, hearing the door shut quietly behind him.

"Matt-kun," the apathetic voice said from the chair in front of the computer. "Please, take a seat."

Matt walked to the other vacant chair at the table, gingerly sitting down. L wasn't looking at him – he was focused on something on his screen. After a minute, he turned to look at Matt and smiled.

"Don't look so nervous," the detective said. "As Roger has undoubtedly already informed you, you are in no kind of trouble. I merely have a question to ask you."

Matt straightened unconsciously, his hands gripping his knees. He wanted to ask him something? L wanted to ask Matt something?! What was wrong with this picture?

"A-All right," Matt stuttered, mentally slapping himself. What the hell was his problem? L wasn't going to eat his heart or anything. As far as he knew.

"I'll get to the point," L said, looking seriously at Matt. "Would you consider being one of my successors?" Matt almost answered immediately, but L raised his hand. "I want to remind you that this is completely voluntary, but once you accept, you will be unable to back out of it. I don't know when my life might come to an end, and if you accept and I choose you, I don't want you backing out at the last minute. Think about it for a minute, please."

Matt forced himself to settle back in his chair and stared down at his hands. Of course he wanted to be L's successor. That was the dream of every kid who was in Wammy's House – L was their idol, practically a god to them. He was absolutely everything they all dreamed of being.

But, upon thinking about it, there was more than that – there was so much more than that. It would be dangerous, and it would be hard – everything that he did from that point on would be judged through the eyes of someone looking not at Matt, and not at Mail Jeevas, but at the next L. At the assumed 'M' who would solve everything once L was gone.

…but he would have said yes… if it wasn't for…

He remembered Mello. He couldn't be Near's friend anymore because they were both L's successors. Which meant that if Matt accepted, he could no longer be Mello's friend.

He could live without being the next L.

He couldn't live without Mello.

"I… I'm sorry," Matt finally said, his fingers clutching the cloth in his jeans and making sharp wrinkles in the material. "I… I can't. I know I couldn't compete with Near and Mello… and Mello already told me that you've picked both of them."

L studied Matt seriously, frowning a bit. "Are you positive? I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't feel you would be more than up to par with the two of them."

Matt nodded, still not looking at L. "I'm positive. I can't. I'm sorry."

L sighed before nodding. "All right, Matt-kun. I'm just glad you were honest with me," he added, putting emphasis on the word 'honest'. Matt flushed uncomfortably, his ears turning the color of his hair, as he nodded again.

Matt had left the room soon after, without much adieu. He returned to the room, where he managed to convince Mello that he was just talking to Roger about his studies.

He and L hardly spoke again.

-

That is, they hardly spoke again until now.

Watari was in the process of taking away the plates as Matt thought, mulling over past events in his mind. Whenever possible, he had avoided L, wanting to avoid any further questioning of this sort, and any suspicion on Mello's part.

As far as the whole orphanage was concerned, Mello and Near were the only ones L ever asked to be successors.

He hadn't seen any reason to give them cause to think otherwise, and apparently L hadn't had any need to go out of his way to talk to Matt.

Until now, of course.

"I suppose you know why you're here," L said, breaking the silence suddenly.

Matt blinked behind his goggles, looking up at the detective who had always, secretly, been his idol.

He thought he did. He hoped he did. He had been trying to think of a way that he could talk to L about Mello and Near, because he knew L would never tell them anything that he said. He wanted to talk to him. He even wanted him to ask Matt to be his successor again, even though Matt's answer wouldn't change.

He wanted everything to go back to the way it had been.

"No," he merely said, shaking his head.

L smiled. "I know that's a lie. But, I'll tell you anyway." He sighed and leaned over, picking a lollipop off the table and slipping the plastic off the candy. He placed it in his mouth thoughtfully, as though trying to think of the best way to phrase his next thought.

"First, I can tell that something, or perhaps many things, have been bothering you. I've noticed ever since the last time we spoke like this. It's something you were afraid to tell me last time, but I do want you to know that you can tell me anything."

L stopped, biting off half the candy with a sharp snap. Matt didn't speak.

"But we can talk about that in a minute, if you're at all willing."

Matt nodded, watching as L laid the candy back on the plastic wrapper beside his computer.

"Before that…"

Matt was startled as L leaned forward, gently pulling Matt's goggles down his face and leaving them hanging around his neck. As they moved down his face, Matt felt L's fingertips brushed his cheek, a little cold from the temperature of the room. He wanted to back away, but didn't dare – it was probably just an accident.

"I want to offer you the position of successor again."

--